Saving Me (Finding You #3)

by Amanda Mackey

  “No. You did everything right. You couldn’t have done anything better. He was unhappy within himself, so no matter what, he was always going to find fault with you. That’s what happens in those types of relationships. You’re made to feel like it’s all your fault when in actual fact it has nothing to do with you. You just happened to be there on the receiving end. When you’re told often enough that you aren’t good enough, you start to believe it. You’ve been brainwashed in a way. We’re going to work on reversing that and getting your mind back to the way it was before you met your ex-husband.”

  I wanted that. I wanted to erase everything about him from my life so it was like he’d never existed.

  “There are going to be many emotions you experience over the coming weeks but I’m here to help you through them. They are all perfectly normal and are part of the healing process. I’ve spoken to your family members and they’ve agreed to keep me on as your therapist if you agree to it.”

  Even if I hated the idea of baring my soul to a stranger, I knew I needed help and would continue to need it for the foreseeable future. If I was going to recover, I couldn’t do it alone. It made sense to keep seeing Donna when she had seen me at my worst.

  “Sure. I’d like that.”

  She pulled out a card and dropped it on top of the drawers beside the flowers. “Get the nurses to call me any time, day or night, if you need me but I will be back tomorrow. I can’t be too sure, but a little birdy mentioned that you may be getting released tomorrow after our session.”

  She smiled. “Relax. You’re ready. You just don’t know it yet.” She turned on her heels and left me to ponder that.

  I was far from ready but then maybe ready would never come. It was just another obstacle in my brain that I’d have to overcome.

  There was little time to sort through the mess that was still crowding my head because the door opened at the same time my mouth did.

  In stepped Kyle with Daniel in tow.

  “Hey, beautiful girl. I know I said I’d wait a couple of days until Daniel visited but Mom and Dad drove up this morning to surprise me.”

  My eyes trained onto the boy who I’d vowed to take care of and love always. His dark eyes shone brightly with a hint of apprehension, waiting for my welcome.

  “Daniel.” He looked just as handsome as ever and stood at nearly the same height as Kyle, who was moving forward on crutches.

  My heart squeezed at the sight of him. He walked over to the edge of the bed. “Hello, Dakota. I’m glad to see you’re doing okay. I brought you something.”

  His arm came up and in his hand sat Cheryl’s necklace. The one I’d dropped in Kyle’s apartment as a clue to let them know I was in danger. He was returning it to me.

  I lay staring at his hand for a minute, acknowledging the significance of the gesture and the fact that Daniel had been thinking of me, and I couldn’t stop the tears as I raised my eyes to meet his.

  Seeing that my hands were shaking as I sobbed, he brought the necklace towards my neck, pulling it at both ends, showing me he wanted me to wear it.

  Pulling my head off the pillow, I let him fix it around my neck, lifting my quivering hand to touch his arm. It was the first time I’d allowed myself to reach out to someone since being kidnapped.

  It felt the right thing to do. He sat on the bed close to me, gently putting both hands around my shoulders and pulling me to him.

  “I love you.” His voice cracked as he held onto me for dear life.

  I clung to him in return, letting him in as I soaked his shirt with tears at not just the three words that had meant more to me than anything, but at all he represented in my life. Just a child himself, yet an old soul wise beyond his years I’d connected with months ago and who somehow always managed to bring out the best in me. A child whose embrace was pure and without expectation. It didn’t scare me, knowing that Daniel’s embrace held no ulterior motive. It was plain and simple. This was what I needed. For so long, John had always expected something from me, whether it be a cooked meal, sex, housework, or to act as a punching bag, and I was done with the complexity of always trying to live up to something. I didn’t need to with Daniel. I was free to be me.

  Kyle stood as a silent bystander, letting us have this time, probably wondering why the sudden change in me. I was letting Daniel in when for the last couple of days I’d pushed Kyle away.

  I had so much to tell him about what had instigated that change.

  I hugged Daniel hard, and when we pulled apart and I caught Kyle’s gaze, I wasn’t surprised to see a look of both surprise and happiness.

  “You must be feeling better,” he offered.

  “Yeah. A little better. I slept right through and ate most of my breakfast.” I didn’t want to mention my trip to the morgue in front of Daniel. He didn’t need to know.

  I wondered what he thought about the whole kidnapping and how it had ended. Did it bring back memories of his father’s demise? It surely would have, and even though we’d vowed not to discuss it, when I could get him on his own I was going to bring it up and make sure he was okay. I wasn’t sure how much he’d been told. Hopefully only the bare basics.

  A male doctor walked into the room, smiling and greeting the three of us. “I’m Doctor Anderson. How’s our patient today?”

  “My head is a little clearer today and my ribs aren’t as painful.”

  “Good. I’ve come to let you know that you’re allowed home. You’ll be required to visit with your therapist three times a week, that’s one of the conditions of your release, but apart from that, you’ll be free to go. Your x-ray results were good and we’re happy both ribs will heal nicely.”

  Daniel and Kyle had wide grins plastered on their faces, joyous at the news. I was still sitting on the fence about being released from the 24 hour care, but it would be nice to return to the new house, and knowing I would be seeing Donna so often helped relieve my anxiety about not coping away from the hospital.

  Kyle balanced on his crutches and held out a hand to Doctor Anderson. “Thank you, Doctor, for all you and your staff have done, not only for Dakota, but for myself as well.”

  “You’re welcome. We’re glad you’re both on the mend now.”

  “Yes, thank you, Doctor,” I added. The staff had been nothing short of amazing and had played a huge part in my slow progress.

  “Nothing makes us happier than to see people leave. I’ll organize for your discharge paperwork to be at the nurse’s station for you in the next hour.”

  He came over and shook my hand, wishing me well.

  It was happening. I was leaving. I was returning home, changed forever. A different me. My scars would heal and I would look the same but I doubted I would ever be the same.

  Chapter

  Thirty-Nine

  Dakota

  The trip back to LA was fairly quiet. I dozed on and off, listening to the soft, soothing sounds of an instrumental disc Kyle was playing. We pulled into a McDonalds drive-thru to buy some lunch. I ordered a coffee and a healthy wrap, the coffee being so much nicer than that in the hospital, and the boys both ordered a burger meal. Daniel had really taken to burgers since that first one we’d eaten on the sidewalk when we’d first arrived.

  Kyle had gone and brought me a new dress, bra, panties, and sandals before we left the hospital, as the ones I had at the cabin were ruined.

  The first thing I was going to do when I got home was soak in the large tub with lots of bubbles. And then I thought I may stroll down to sit on the beach and let the ocean’s healing properties work some magic.

  Kyle kept a watch over me the entire trip, glancing over and occasionally making small talk.

  When we finally drove through the gates to our new home it was 2 p.m. Joseph’s car was parked out front, so I slanted a glance at Kyle.

  “Your parents are here? Did they drive back this morning after dropping Daniel off?”

  “Yep.” He was trying hard not to smile through his one word answer. I wa
ited for more but it didn’t come.

  The car had been pulled up as close to the front door as possible to make it easier for me to walk inside.

  Daniel was out, giving Kyle a smug smile before walking through the front door.

  “Your parents have a key?”

  “I left the house keys with my dad this morning, knowing they would beat us back.”

  “Oh.” Of course. It was only natural that his parents would want to see me, especially Cheryl, who was the only one who hadn’t visited the hospital.

  Kyle got out and hopped on one foot to the back door to retrieve his crutches while I sat for a minute, drinking in the house and steadying my breathing. This was my new beginning. This day. This hour. This moment. Everything had led to here. All of it. I knew that everything about this house signified love and family. Happiness. Maybe that’s what was driving my heart rate up. The fact that I was now entitled to all that.

  “You okay?” Kyle was at my door. He’d opened it and stood with a concerned look on his face.

  He didn’t reach for me. We still hadn’t touched. I knew it must pain him to keep his distance physically, but the fact that he was doing it for me made me appreciate his awesomeness even more.

  I nodded and got out, still slightly bent over due to my healing ribs, and we both made our way to the open front door. We must have looked a sight, Kyle hobbling on his crutches and me walking like a hunched over old lady.

  Stepping over the threshold into the large foyer with its impressive staircase, I stopped and let out a scream.

  Standing before me, emanating a wealth of devotion, was everyone I’d ever loved beyond words. My mother, father, Daniel, Cheryl and Joseph. All standing side by side, united as one for my homecoming. Two families that had never met, brought together in trying times.

  My eyes clung to the two faces that shouldn’t be here. The two faces that had spent so much time occupying my mind over the last few months that I had to blink several times to make sure they were real.

  As I focused, my eyed fogged up from the tears that welled up and dripped onto my healing face. My swollen eye was workable now but I knew my head still resembled a multi-colored beach ball.

  My parents broke away and moved towards me at the same time I found my feet again. We met in the middle as I cried out, “Oh my god! What are you guys doing here? It’s so good to see you.”

  There were no thoughts of not wanting to be touched as I was pulled into the most warm and comfortable embrace by both of them. My mother was in tears and my father was trying to choke back his as I reveled in their love. It couldn’t have been more perfect. I hugged each one separately and then we unified in a group hug.

  “I love you so much, honey. I’m so glad you’re okay,” bawled my mother as she brushed back the hair from my face, my father’s arm protectively around my waist.

  I was beyond words. Blown away by their presence. Too emotional to speak as I heaved big, dirty sobs. So many emotions tumbled out at the two people who gave me life and had always been my tower of strength, even in dark times.

  I barely heard Kyle brush past me and whisper, “Welcome home, angel,” but all of a sudden I noticed that everyone else had disappeared in order to give me this special time with the two people I adored more than life.

  Everything I dreamed of was culminating in the foyer of this glorious home. It was almost beyond comprehension.

  My voice found me after a couple of minutes. “I’m so glad you’re both here. How is this possible?”

  “We received a call from Joseph, telling us everything. He paid for and organized our tickets and airport transfers and had us in the air before we had time to think about it.”

  “So you’re staying here?” I hoped more than anything they were.

  “Yes, darling. I hope that’s okay,” my father crooned, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

  “It’s beyond okay, Dad. Having you here is the best medicine ever.” It was true. These two beautiful people had more of an impact on me than all the drugs any hospital could feed me. I wanted to cling to them and never let go. My anchors. My life rafts. My everything.

  “Come on, darling, there’s one more surprise we have for you.”

  I didn’t think anything could top the shock I’d experienced at seeing both their faces shining at me when I’d stepped through the front door, but as they led me into the living room, I could have been bowled over by a feather. Instead I was nearly bowled over by a furry, four-legged exact clone of my beloved Roxy dog, the precious best friend I’d grown up with as a kid. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she had returned from heaven and was excitedly greeting me, wagging her tail furiously, waiting for me to respond.

  The look on my face must have been priceless as I heard more tears being shed. My father steadied me as the Roxy look-alike crashed into me in a show of selfless affection only a dog could offer.

  I was crying again as I dropped to my knees and buried my face in her thick mane of neck hair, patting her furiously. Her rough tongue found my face and I let her greet and sniff me as she nuzzled me all over. She climbed up onto my knee to get closer, showering me with kisses, squealing her own delight as we bonded immediately. A sudden joy burst from my heart as a strange sound erupted from my throat. Laughter. This dog in the space of one minute, combined with my parents’ arrival had somehow managed to piece together my broken heart and switch the light on in my soul that had been snuffed out by John. This gorgeous animal looked directly at me for the longest time, like she already knew me, as if that were even possible, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it really were Roxy reborn.

  My head shot up and I found Kyle. Instantly, I knew. He was behind all of this. He was the only one that understood what I needed. Without question, he’d made it happen. Without needing anything from me in return. He loved me selflessly and would give me the earth to make me happy.

  I looked up at my dad, “Help me up?”

  He lifted me to standing and all I could see in that room was Kyle. The man I loved. He had proven himself over and over.

  He stood leaning against the far wall, his crutches propped up beside him. His arms were folded across his chest, his grey tee hugged him tightly around his toned torso. Jeans, a snug fit. Bare feet.

  His blue pools were targeted on me, his perfect mouth slightly upturned at the corners. I made my way over to him, my new friend at my heels, tail wagging.

  I knew what I needed to do and say to this man, who in the space of an hour had given me the world.

  I had been keeping him at a distance, scared that I wasn’t enough for him anymore, or that I ever had been. Frightened that if I allowed his touch, he would expect things of me. Things my dead ex-husband had always expected.

  Now I knew. I knew for sure. Kyle demanded nothing from me. He only wanted me to be happy, and if that meant giving me the space I needed to find myself again, he would do it. No questions asked.

  As I reached him, standing close enough to touch, our eyes never wavering, I reached out with both hands and cupped his face. My hands were steady and sure. I heard him quietly suck in a breath as his lips parted at my touch, his eyes full of questions and concern.

  My thumbs brushed over his cheeks as I moved my head closer. Just before our lips touched and with my eyes still trained on his, I whispered softly, “Thank you. For everything. I love you so much. Always have. Always will.”

  His hand found the back of my neck, pulling me the short distance to his mouth. As soon as my lips touched his, everything inside of me seemed to explode back to life. A renewed sense of belonging. A purpose for being here. This was all that mattered. I was broken but these wonderful people in this very room were putting me back together. They always would because that was what family did.

  “I love you too, angel. You have me. All of me. I’m yours in every way. Heart, body, and soul.”

  He rested his forehead on mine for an instant and then we were inundated by whistles and cheers.
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br />   Kyle spun me around and pulled me into his chest, both hands around my waist. We looked into the faces of our families and I couldn’t wipe the broad smile that lit my face. When Daniel walked over to us and stood by our side, I kissed the top of his head and put my arm around his shoulder. With my new dog that I had already silently named Roxy sitting at my feet, panting and smiling like she had always belonged here, I knew I was finally home.

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you firstly to my family and friends. Your support has been unwavering and your love steadfast. I couldn’t have achieved all I have without you.

  To Limitless Publishing for believing in me when others didn’t. It means so much to me and I look forward to continuing our partnership.

  I’d like to especially thank you the reader. I’m so grateful to you for taking the time to read this series. It started out as an idea over 16 years ago and was put away for years while I went on to have my children and be a full time mother. Finally it is completed and I feel a certain peace with that.

  About the Author

  I am married and a mother of two beautiful children, living in sunny Queensland, Australia. I’ve been reading books ever since I can remember and love all things related to books. Writing has become an extension of that and I hope to pursue a full time writing career. I currently write part-time and work as a remedial massage therapist. I love spending time with family and hope to one day travel to Italy and England.

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