Losing Control

by McClung, Mila

  Harper cringed as the cop reached a handkerchief along the floor, and brought out the knife.

  “Here’s the weapon, Sarge.”

  “Good. Book her, Jeff!”

  The cop unfastened Taury’s handiwork, led Harper out the door, reciting her rights to her as they disappeared.

  “A bit of information, if you please. What’s your name, son?”

  “Trahern. Taury Trahern.”

  “Well, weren’t you involved in another attempted murder case, out of Bodega Bay?”

  “Yes, sir. When it rains, it pours, I guess.”

  He looked at Fawn; she clasped his hand.

  “Let’s sit here for a bit, and you can tell me all about it,” the Sergeant said.

  Taury nodded. “First, though, I’d like to have my lady here checked out by a doctor.”

  “Certainly. There should be an ambulance on its way.”

  Fawn slumped in her seat. Yet another ambulance – when would it end?

  Morning found them in Taury’s private plane, on their way home. Fawn snuggled against him on a small suede couch, and watched excitedly as San Francisco vanished beneath the billowing white clouds. All the proper paperwork had been signed and witnessed. All the charges filed, and court dates tentatively set. She would have to return when the trials started and she was willing enough to do that but the idea of ever residing there again unnerved her. Maybe her mind would change over time – but she doubted it.

  “But won’t you miss our screaming fits in the penthouse bedroom?” he asked.

  “We can have those anywhere!”

  “Yeah, but just anywhere won’t be soundproofed!”

  She smiled, feeling a weight lifting off of her heart. Somehow, once they were headed south, it all seemed right again. No more drama or danger; they could live out their busy days and passionate nights in the precious Malibu bungalow, surrounded by family and friends. He wanted to buy more old houses, restore them and sell them. And she could get back to making custom jewelry. It would be a simple, satisfying life.

  When they arrived at the bungalow Fawn couldn’t help but notice how different her life was from that first day she’d come there not quite so long ago. Would she change some of it if she could live it over again? Of course, but the gist of it, the solid foundation that was her and Taury’s love, could never be changed. That was destined, just as he had believed. Now, she believed it, too.

  They slipped out of a rented sedan, waved off the driver and walked past her idle sports car to the patio. Taury held her tight as they both breathed in the wonderfully salty sea air. The sky was a perfect precise blue, uncluttered by clouds. The sun sat proudly way up high, its warmth calm and comforting. The tender breeze caressed their hair, welcomed them home.

  “It seems so unreal to finally be here again. There were times I honestly didn’t think it would happen.”

  “I know, babe. But it’s real. And tomorrow we’ll be married and living out our dreams. I knew it would come to this eventually, and that knowledge carried me through the worst of our problems. Even when you were in the hospital and they told us you might not make it, I never once gave up believing we’d be here one day, with all the misery behind us.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t give up. I love you so much, Taury. It gets stronger every time I see you.”

  “Yeah, I know the feeling. We’re pretty damn lucky, I’d say, to have found each other.”

  “Yes, we are. And I swear I will never take that luck for granted.”

  “So do I!”

  He kissed her; she savored his sweetness, sent her thoughts grazing on the night ahead, when they’d be alone in the bungalow for the first time since that night he proposed.

  There was movement below, at Connie’s beach house. Lots of people were setting up tables with white coverings, and placing big urns full of pink roses all about the yard. The caterer – Jimmy De Paolo – was waving his arms around at his assistants, pointing to metal trays lined with food-warming bins and grills and boxes of ingredients. June was in the center of it all, looking as if she was ready to collapse.

  “Oh, dear, I thought I asked them to keep it simple,” Fawn frowned.

  “Well, don’t fuss about it. It’s only one day. Once it’s done things will calm down. You’ll be bored with me before you know it!”

  “Ha! Not as long as you keep giving me candy orgies!”

  He laughed, kissed her again. Then they made their way down the path to the beach house.

  TWENTY ONE

  Her wedding day arrived. Fawn was happy this time around, not afraid and worried about what kind of wife she’d be. She knew exactly what kind not to be, that was for certain.

  The yard behind the beach house was dolled up like a glamorous movie star, which seemed befitting since it had once belonged to Constance Carroll. Fawn hoped that somehow Connie was watching the proceedings with an approving eye.

  “She is,” June decided after Fawn expressed her wish. “And she’s proud of you.”

  “I’ll bet she’s proud of you, too, Mom. I can’t believe you did all this without getting in a panic!”

  “I have to admit I almost did. But I felt I owed you a happy wedding. Your first one was such a sham.”

  “No looking back, Mom. Not at the bad stuff, anyway. Taury has taught me that!”

  “He’s a good man, Fawn. I’m glad to have him as my son-in-law.”

  Fawn almost cried. “Stop, you’ll make me ruin my mascara. And I don’t have time to fix it again!”

  They giggled. June helped Fawn on with her dress, a long white jewel of a gown, rather European in style, with lace over the bodice, a tapered train, and fluffy sleeves meant to hide the multitude of scratches left by Harper Trigg.

  Once her veil was perfectly placed upon her up-swept chestnut hair, and her clear Cinderella shoes slipped onto her feet, Fawn made her way from June and Kent’s bedroom into the living room of the beach house. She was to wait there until the proper music began. Kent Brennan entered; he would escort her out the front door and around the side of the house to where Taury was standing. She had stolen a peek at him earlier; he was wearing a sleek black suit and brandishing the widest, most beautiful smile. Her heart had jumped loops at the sight of him.

  All their friends and relations were sitting in folding chairs, ready for her to make her appearance – Libby Trahern, George and Molly Finch, Frank and Jimmy De Paolo, a few of Taury’s employees and a distant relation or two - everyone but her cousin Stephanie.

  “Is Steph here yet, Dad?”

  “Not yet. She called from Los Angeles. They’re on their way.”

  “I hope she gets here soon. Is it hot out there?”

  “No, the weather is cooperating. I don’t think this could be a more perfect day.” He moved closer to her. “Fawn, I wanted to tell you how wonderful you look. I’ve never seen you this happy. It’s a world of difference from the way you looked on your first wedding day.” He choked up; embarrassing her.

  “Now, Dad, it’s like I told Mom. No looking back! This is the beginning of a new life, for all of us!”

  He bobbled his head in agreement, headed to a bar for a drink.

  They heard a car pull up.

  “Maybe that’s Steph!”

  Fawn picked up her train, hurried to the front door. When she opened it she found Stephanie, dressed in a knock-out blue silk dress. Then she recognized Tom Cedar from his pictures on the sports sites. They were accompanied by a woman; she was probably in her early forties, and quite trim and blonde. Fawn noticed her deep set blue eyes and gasped aloud.

  “Inger? Could it be?”

  “Yes, I am Inger. You must be Fawn. I am very glad to meet you.”

  She held out a freckled hand. Fawn dropped her train, clasped the hand for a vigorous shaking. Her mascara was wet, threatening to spoil her perfectly made-up face.

  “I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you! Taury will be thrilled! Has Stephanie explained everything?”

>   “You know I did. I’m thorough, if nothing else.”

  “Yeah, you are! I owe you big time for this, Steph!”

  “And I’ll collect on it, too! Meet my man. Tom, Fawn. Fawn, Tom. And these good people are her parents, June and Kent.”

  The notes of a classic love song filled the air.

  “That’s our cue!” June announced in a shrill voice.

  “I will wait here until after the ceremony,” Inger stated. “I don’t want to upset your plans.”

  “No, I want you to walk out with me. Please?”

  “Oh, I couldn’t! The boy has no idea I’m here. I don’t want to shock him.”

  “You will only make this day happier, believe me. Will you do it?”

  “But I’m not dressed very well.”

  “I think I have a dress for you,” June offered. “It’s just your size!”

  June led Inger down the hall to her room.

  “I’ll stall the ceremony,” Kent Brennan said as he scooted past the visitors and stepped outside.

  “You look gorgeous, Fawn,” Stephanie observed. “I knew Taury could make you happy!”

  “You look radiant yourself! Pregnancy agrees with you.”

  “You haven’t had to deal with her cravings at four in the morning!” Tom laughed. “Kippers, red hot chili peppers and chocolate mint ice cream! Man, that’s nasty stuff!”

  “Um, sounds so good, but don’t mention it now! We skipped lunch!”

  Fawn laughed at them. It was peculiar to see Stephanie in this new role. She’d always been so certain of herself, so cool and detached. Men were passing fancies, to be enjoyed and forgotten. But she was hung up on Tom Cedar; her eyes searching his face constantly for approval and affection, which he returned in droves.

  “There’s a huge buffet outside,” Fawn told her. “Hold on awhile longer then you can sample every dish!”

  “It’s a plan! Well, look at her!”

  They all aimed their eyes down the hallway. June and Inger were walking towards them. Inger was wearing a pale blue dress and two-tone pumps with her long blonde hair pulled up in a loose ponytail.

  “Is this all right?” she asked, surprisingly shy for her age.

  “Oh, yes!” Fawn sighed. “You’re lovely! Shall we go?”

  Inger nodded; Fawn took her arm, they joined Kent around the side of the house while June ushered Tom and Stephanie to some empty chairs.

  The music started again. Everyone tilted their heads to see the bride. Fawn had to stifle a giggle as she noticed all the confused looks on their faces.

  They came out in full view of the podium, where Taury stood with a preacher, the Reverend Harmon Gill, a flamboyant friend of Frank and Jimmy’s. He was dressed in a bright melon-colored jacket and navy slacks.

  Taury’s eyes were transfixed on Fawn, so much so that it took him a minute or two to realize that there were two people escorting her down the aisle. He glanced at Inger then at Fawn and back again. Fawn spoke to him with her expression – he understood. Tears dampened his eyelashes as Kent gave Fawn’s hand to him and stepped away. He locked gazes with Inger; she offered him a touching smile.

  He turned to the small gathering of friends. “Before we start, I’d like to introduce everyone to my mother, Ms. Inger Sjostrom!” By then every one of them had heard the story of James Trahern and Inger. They all burst into applause, sparking more tears. Taury hugged her. “Hello. I’ve been waiting a lifetime to meet you.”

  “You’re a beautiful boy!” she cried. “I can see Jim in you. He would be proud!”

  “Yeah, he would. Reverend, shall we proceed?”

  “Yes! This is a happy day!”

  The ceremony went along as planned; Taury spoke words he had written for Fawn: “I promise to love you as long as I live, if not longer, to respect you and listen to you and hold you above all others. I will give you my love, my heart, my soul, my life. I will never control you, or keep you from being exactly who you are. You’re a part of me, the other half that makes me complete, I was lost without you, but now I am found. I cherish you, and offer you all that I am, the good and the bad, if you’ll have me.”

  Fawn uttered a breathless “I will!” then she recited some words of her own: “I promise to love you forever, to respect you, believe in you, and never try to control or demean you. I give you my love, my heart, my soul, my life. You are the breath of my body, the reason I live. I offer my companionship, my smiles, my tears, myself, to you, if you’ll have me.”

  “I will!” Taury said in a resounding voice.

  “With that I declare you man and wife,” the Reverend shouted, “and may your union be blessed with strength and hope and an abiding love! Hallelujah!”

  Taury and Fawn reached towards each other for the closing kiss without any urging. The audience clapped wildly.

  Everyone stood and swarmed around them; congratulations and good wishes abounding. Then the party began, the older couples started dancing to the 50s rock tunes blasting over the stereo system. Stephanie headed straight for the food tables, dove hungrily into the buffet.

  Taury quietly led Fawn and Inger up to the bungalow.

  “I thought we could talk better up here away from the noise. This is where Fawn and I will be living. Do you like it, Mother?”

  “Oh, yes, it’s charming. It reminds me of the house in Bodega Bay.”

  “I could build you a new one there. It could be just like the old one.”

  “Oh, no, it would never be the same without my Jim. Besides, I am used to living in a small space. All I need is a bed and a place for my paints.”

  “Do you want to live near us, Ms. Sjostrom?” Fawn asked. “I thought if you did, we could all get to know each other. But we’ll understand if you prefer your cabin in Sweden.”

  “I would like to spend the rest of my days near Taury, if he will allow it. I love my cabin, but this is where my heart is, now.”

  Taury smiled; his childlike glances at his mother’s face tugged at Fawn’s emotions, but the time for tears had passed.

  “Well, how about my guest house? It’s right across the yard, has it’s own bedroom and bath, and a porch. There’s plenty of storage for your art supplies. Taury and I put cabinets in it not too long ago.”

  Inger peered out the kitchen window at the tiny house.

  “It’s perfect! But wouldn’t I be in the way?”

  “You could never be in the way, Mother. I wish I had a different word to call you…”

  “What about ‘Mamma’? That’s what I called my mother.”

  “Great! I love it! Did you bring any luggage? We can get you moved in right away!”

  “Stephanie had me pack everything I own. It’s outside, in the car. I always sell my paintings, so I had none left to bring. That’s how I supported myself all these years. I still want to support myself in that way, if you think anyone here might buy my art.”

  “Judging from the paintings we saw at the house in Bodega Bay, I’d say you have quite a future ahead of you in Malibu, Ms. Sjostrom!”

  “Please, Fawn, you will call me Mamma, too?”

  “Of course. Come on, we’ll show you the guest house!”

  “Shouldn’t you be leaving on your honeymoon?”

  Taury and Fawn passed furtive glances.

  “I said something wrong?”

  “No, Mamma … we’re just going to wait until Fawn is completely well before we take off somewhere.”

  “Oh, yes, I forgot. You two have been through hell. Your life together now will surely be heaven.”

  “Yes, it surely will!” Taury said, smiling.

  The night passed; the wedding guests partied till dawn. Taury moved Inger into her new space, with Kent’s help. They took out Fawn’s craft table and the boxes of materials, and put them on the side porch of the bungalow. Taury was planning to enclose the space the next day, to let Fawn use it as her workroom. Then they removed the bed and dressers and things from the second bedroom in the bungalow and set them up
in the guest house. June supplied a small antique couch and chairs for the living area which helped turn the house into a cozy little home.

  The days crept by slowly but sweetly. Taury finished out the side porch, made it a bright, sunlit haven for Fawn’s jewelry creation. They put the daybed in the second bedroom; Fawn was puzzled at why she couldn’t have used it for her crafts. Taury said he wanted to keep that room fairly empty, for the time being. She wondered what he was up to, but let it slide – his surprises were always fun, and gave her something new to look forward to.

  Fawn and Taury easily settled into the familiar rhythm of married life. It was calm and drama free – exactly as they wanted.

  They came to know and love Inger. She was as sweet a personality as her son, always ready with a kind word or an open smile. The Brennans enjoyed her company as well, gave lots of dinner parties in her honor with the Finches and De Paolos attending. She wasn’t used to the attention but eventually began to relax and take it in stride though she preferred to sit alone on her porch and paint beautiful portraits of the sea.

  TWENTY TWO

  Finally Fawn was back to her old self. The bleeding stopped, her wound healed – the scar became less visible every day. But they were holding off – letting the tension build between them. Taury had convinced her to wait until their honeymoon, though sometimes she cursed the agreement. Sleeping beside him without being able to massage him or take him in her mouth was unbearable. She was addicted to him, needed his touch as surely as she needed breath to live.

  They packed a couple of small bags one fine morning, bid their relatives and friends goodbye, and headed out to the airport. The itinerary included a brief visit to London and Paris then a long, sun-soaked month – weather permitting – in the South of France.

  London was rainy, and dreary gray but they enjoyed the experience of drinking in a real pub and munching on fish and chips, visited a few choice tourist must-sees, and even took in a play in the West End, a horrible, unintentionally funny remix of MacBeth that offered rapping witches and dancing ghosts.