Star Wars: The Courtship of Princess Leia

by Dave Wolverton

  “So, you found us, kid? Well, I figured it was only a matter of time. Things have gotten pretty sticky here. You didn’t happen to bring any spare parts, did you?”

  “What’s going on, Han?” Luke asked. The Wookiee patted the Jedi on the shoulder, growled affectionately. “You don’t just kidnap Leia, drag her halfway across the galaxy, and then say hi, as if nothing happened.”

  Han spun in his captain’s chair, looked up, smiled a controlled smile, as if he would scream if he did not smile. “Well, see, it happened this way: I won a planet in a card game and really wanted to see it badly. Meanwhile, the woman I love was planning to run off with another man, so I convinced her to take a short trip with me. Only when we got here, I found the skies full of warships that shot me down—because no one bothered to warn me that the planet was interdicted—and after we crashed, a bunch of witches decided to start a war over who gets the wreckage of my ship. So I’ll tell you, Luke, I’ve had a really bad week so far. Now, to top it all off, I suppose you’re going to lecture me, or arrest me, or beat me up. So tell me, how is your week going?”

  “About the same,” Luke said. He held his tongue a moment, looked at the control panel. “What’s wrong with your ship?”

  “Well,” Han said, “we blew our anticoncussion field generators, cracked the sensory array window, fried the brains out of my astrogation computer, and leaked about two thousand liters of coolant from the main reactor.”

  “I brought Artoo,” Luke offered lamely. “He can navigate the ship.” Luke looked back at Isolder, as if asking him to speak. Isolder could see that now was not the time for reprimands or fisticuffs. Right now, they needed to work together. But it was all he could do to keep from bashing Han Solo in the mouth.

  “I’ve got my fighter here,” Isolder said, and Teneniel took his hand. Isolder didn’t want to speak about it too loudly, and he glanced behind him. None of the other witches had followed them into the ship.

  “You’ve got a working ship on this planet?” Han asked. “How many people can it hold?”

  Isolder considered his answer. If he told him two, would Han try to steal the ship and take Leia with him? “Two.”

  Luke looked at Isolder curiously, and Han drew a breath in relief. “I want you to get Leia and fly her out of here, right now!” Han said. “There’s a bunch of people here who would kill for that fighter, and believe me, you don’t want to meet them!”

  “He’s testing you,” Luke casually said to Han. “His fighter holds only one, and we’ve already met the Nightsisters.” Han’s face got dark with anger, and his eyes looked hollow, haunted.

  “You passed the test, General Solo,” Isolder said.

  “We’re in serious trouble here,” Han warned Isolder. “Don’t play so rough with me.”

  Isolder didn’t like Han’s tone of voice. “You’re lucky I don’t play rougher,” Isolder said. “I’d gladly beat your face in for what you’ve done here. You’ll be lucky if I don’t.”

  Luke watched Isolder calculatingly.

  “Go ahead and try it,” Han said, “if you think you can handle me.”

  Isolder glanced at Chewbacca. Wookiees specialized in their own form of hand-to-hand combat, and when a Wookiee disarmed an opponent, the opponent was literally disarmed. And if that didn’t subdue you, the Wookiee would go ahead and rip off your legs, too. Isolder wanted to make sure the Wookiee didn’t join in the fray. Chewbacca shrugged, whined something in his own language.

  “Hold on, now,” Leia said. “We’ve got enough problems here without fighting among ourselves. Isolder, I came here with Han willingly … sort of. He asked me to accompany him as a friend, and I agreed.”

  Isolder glanced at her, disbelieving, not sure what was going on. He’d seen the holo vid clips of the alleged abduction, but he couldn’t call Leia a liar. “Uh,” he said, embarrassed. “General Solo, I think I owe you an apology.”

  “Great,” Han said. “So, let’s get back to work. Why don’t you start by coming up with a way to get us out of here?”

  “I’ve got a fleet on its way,” Isolder said. “They should be here in another seven or eight days.”

  Han asked, “When you say fleet, how big a fleet are you talking?”

  “About eighty destroyers,” Isolder said.

  Han’s jaw dropped, but Leia said, “Seven days isn’t quick enough. If Augwynne is correct, the Nightsisters will attack in three.”

  Isolder put his arm around Leia. “My astrogation droid can pilot the ship for a jump. We could send Leia home.”

  “I don’t think so,” Leia said. “I’m not going without the rest of you. Han—if you had all of your spare parts, how soon could you get this ship fixed?”

  Han calculated. Plugging the rupture to stop the coolant leak would take only a few minutes. You might even be able to pour the coolant in while in flight. The R2 unit could patch in on a moment’s notice to navigate. Installing new anticoncussion field generators might take two hours. The easiest thing would be to put on a new sensory array window. Two hours, if everyone helped and they hurried.

  “Two hours,” Han answered.

  “I suggest we cannibalize Isolder’s ship,” Leia said, “fix the Falcon, and get out of here.”

  Isolder looked at the Falcon skeptically. It was a big ship compared with his fighter—four times the length. With all the extra shielding and cargo space, it had to be forty times the mass. “What kind of anti-concussion field generators are you using?” Isolder asked.

  “I’ve got four banks of Nordoxicon thirty-eights. All of them are down. What are you running on?”

  “Three Taibolt twelves.”

  Chewbacca roared something.

  “Yeah, that’s a bust,” Han admitted. “What about your sensory array window?”

  “Point six meters across,” Isolder said.

  “That’s a little small for us,” Han grimaced, “but if we had to, we could weld some plate over my current array, make the window narrower. It would cut our sensor capabilities a little.”

  “Yeah, that would work,” Isolder agreed. “But where are we going to get a big enough field generator?”

  “Could we fly without it, sir?” Threepio asked.

  “Too dangerous,” Han said. “We’re not just worried about missile attacks, we’ve got to deflect micrometeorites. If one tore through the sensor array, it could take out a lot of sensitive instrumentation.”

  “Maybe there’s some kind of field generators near the prison,” Han said, throwing his hands up. “An armored gun emplacement, a wrecked ship, something. I’ll just have to go there and see.”

  “If we can find some generators to steal, it will be a four-man job just to pull them, and we might need a sentry to watch for trouble,” Isolder said. “Then there’s the problem of transporting the stuff. We’re talking nearly two metric tons of equipment here.”

  “We can worry about moving the stuff once we get it,” Han said. “The prison’s got to have some antigrav sleds at least.”

  “You can count me in,” Luke said.

  “I’m already in,” Leia added.

  Isolder considered a moment. They wouldn’t be able to take the Wookiee into the city. Chances were that no one on this planet outside of the soldiers had ever seen one. The same was true of Threepio. That left them short-handed. He didn’t like the idea of having Leia endanger herself, but they were running short of options. He looked back at Teneniel, pleading. The witch appeared to be frightened but determined.

  “I’ll guide you to the prison,” Teneniel said. “But I’ve never been inside. I don’t know what you are looking for, and I don’t know where to find it.”

  “Have any of your clan sisters been inside the prison?” Leia asked.

  Teneniel shrugged. “Augwynne would know such things better than I. I’ll get her.” Teneniel took off, returned a few minutes later with the older woman.

  “None of our clan has been inside the prison,” Augwynne said, “except those w
ho have become Nightsisters.” She was silent for a long moment.

  “What of Sister Barukka?” Teneniel said hesitantly. “I heard that she has become forsaken.”

  Augwynne hesitated a long time, then looked up at Leia. “There is a woman of our clan who joined the Nightsisters, but has recently left them at great price. She now lives alone as one of the forsaken and has petitioned to rejoin our clan. Perhaps she could help guide you, tell you where to find what you seek.”

  “You seem reluctant to recommend her,” Leia said. “Why?”

  Augwynne answered, softly. “She is fighting to cleanse herself. She has committed unspeakable atrocities that have left a great mark upon her. She is forsaken. Such people are … untrustworthy, unstable.”

  “But she’s been inside the prison?” Han asked.

  “Yes,” Augwynne said.

  “Where is she now?”

  “Barukka lives in a cavern called Rivers of Stone. I can send one of our warriors to guide you.”

  “I’ll take them, Grandmother,” Teneniel offered, placing a hand on Augwynne’s shoulder. “Perhaps you could escort them to the war room and get some lunch. You could show them the map and plan our route. I’ll have some children prepare mounts.” She took Isolder’s hand. “Come with me, please,” she said. “I’d like to speak with you.” She pulled him along as if she expected him to follow.

  She took him down some stairs through a maze of corridors and stopped to pick up a pitcher of water, then led him into a small chamber that held a single mattress and a trunk. A large mirror made of silver sat on one wall, with a sink beneath it. “This used to be my room, when I lived here with the clan at Singing Mountain,” Teneniel said. She opened the trunk, pulled out a soft tunic of red lizard hide, another of green. She held them up. “Which do you think Luke would like the best on me?”

  Isolder didn’t dare tell her that the whole idea of wearing lizard hides seemed rather barbaric. “The green goes better with your eyes.”

  She nodded, casually stripped off her torn and soiled tunic, pulled off her boots, and stood gazing in the mirror as she took a rag and gave herself a sponge bath. Isolder swallowed hard. He knew that on some planets, humans had different notions of modesty, and the businesslike way in which Teneniel bathed seemed to indicate that she really wasn’t trying to entice him.

  “You know, I don’t understand your customs,” Teneniel said. “Yesterday morning when I captured you, I thought you wanted me, and the idea flattered me. I gave you every opportunity to escape first, and you took the capture rope in your own hand. I knew that you had come seeking a woman. I could feel that about you.” She frowned, glanced over her back at him. “But now I see that it is this Leia woman you want.”

  “Yes,” Isolder said, looking at the sculpted muscles in her back. Teneniel was not a beautiful woman by Hapan standards—in fact, she was rather plain—but Isolder decided that she had some rather fascinating musculature. She was definitely athletic. He’d seen few women on Hapes with her kind of build—not the compact, beefy muscles of a bodybuilder, nor quite the leanness of a runner or swimmer. Instead, she was something in between. He asked, “Do you like to climb a lot?”

  Teneniel shot a smile over her back. “Yes,” she said. “Do you?”

  “I’ve never tried it.”

  Teneniel toweled off, slipped on her tunic, pulled her long hair back over the top of it and began combing the tight curls from her hair. “I like the feel of climbing rocks,” Teneniel said, “getting all sweaty. When you get to the top of the mountain, if the weather is right, you can take off your clothes and bathe in the snow.”

  Although he really felt no attraction for the girl, he realized he would have to be pretty tired not to dream about her tonight. “I suppose you could.”

  When she finished combing her hair, she put on a headband of bright white cloth, turned to him and smiled. “Isolder, I would give you back your freedom outright, but if I did, the other clan sisters would only capture you. So until you leave, I think it best if I give you your freedom in all but name.”

  Isolder knew she was trying to be kind. “You’re very generous.”

  She gave him a friendly kiss on the forehead, and took his hand again, led him down to the war room.

  Leia and the others stood around a huge map on the floor, molded of clay and painted. A clan sister was plotting a route through the mountainous countryside, a route that would keep them away from established trails that Gethzerion’s spies might be watching. The route would take them on a tortuous path over a hundred and forty kilometers of mountain and jungle, to the edge of the desert where the prison lay. Only the strongest rancors would be able to make such a journey in just three days.

  Isolder looked at Leia, kept wondering about her, wondering if she were really all right, wondering if Han had really kidnapped her. She did not seem to be angry with Han or frightened of him. Yet Isolder could not imagine that she would simply run away with him on some wild fling. He swore in his heart that if she had chosen Han, he would win her back. He casually made his way to her side, held her hand. Leia smiled up at him, gazed at him fondly, and though they stood there for ten minutes while the witch marked their trail, Isolder studied only the curve of Leia’s neck, the color of her eyes, the scent of her hair.

  After they had eaten, Augwynne took Luke and Isolder to a side bedroom where a toothless crone with wisps of white hair sat wrapped in a blanket, snoring. Her seat was a stone box with a cushion atop it, and two elderly women attended.

  “Mother Rell,” Augwynne whispered to the crone, lightly shaking the woman’s shoulder. “We have two visitors to meet you.”

  Rell caught her breath, opened her eyes and squinted at Luke. Her leathery skin was spotted purple with age, but her eyes gleamed like brown pools. She tenderly took Luke’s hand. “Why, it’s Luke Sky-walker,” the crone smiled in recognition, “who started the Jedi academy all those years ago.” Luke flinched, for the crone had not been told his name. “How are your wife and children? Are they well?”

  Luke stuttered, “We’re all fine.” The hair on the back of Isolder’s neck stood on end. He had the odd feeling that he was looking into a brilliant light.

  The crone smiled knowingly and nodded. “Good, good. If you have your health, you have much. Have you seen Master Yoda lately? How is that old flirt?”

  “I haven’t seen him lately,” Luke answered, and Rell’s grip went slack, her eyes dimmed. She seemed to forget that Luke was even standing there.

  Augwynne directed her attention to Isolder. “Luke brought another friend to see you,” Augwynne said, and she put the old woman’s spidery fingers in Isolder’s hand.

  “Oh, it’s Prince Isolder,” the old woman said, leaning close to peer at him. “But, I thought Gethzerion killed you. If you’re alive, then …” She studied him a moment, then her face went dark with realization and she looked up at Augwynne. “I’ve been dreaming again, haven’t I? What century is it?”

  “Yes, Mother, you’ve been dreaming again,” Augwynne answered soothingly, patting the old woman’s hand, but Rell would not loose her grip on Isolder’s hand. Her eyes lost their focus.

  “Mother Rell is nearly three hundred years old,” Augwynne explained, “but her spirit is so strong that it will not let her body die. When I was a child, she used to tell me that someday a Jedi Master would come with his pupil, and that when he did, I should bring them straight to her. She said she had a message for you, but she is not lucid at the moment. I’m sorry.”

  Augwynne seemed tense, and she tried to pry the old woman’s grasp free from Isolder’s hand. Rell smiled at them all, her white head bobbing like a float on the water. “It’s been pleasant visiting you,” Rell told Isolder. “Please come see me again. You’re such a nice young girl or boy or whatever you are.…”

  Augwynne got the old woman to free Isolder’s hand, and she took the men from the room, ushering them hurriedly.

  “She sees the future, doesn’t she?�
�� Luke said.

  Augwynne nodded mechanically, and Isolder became extremely uncomfortable, for if the old woman was right, Gethzerion would kill him within the next few days. “Sometimes she gets lost in it as easily as she becomes lost in the past,” Augwynne explained.

  “What else did she tell you about me?” Luke said.

  “She said that after you came,” Augwynne answered softly, “she would let herself die. And she said that your coming would signal the end of our world.”

  “What did she mean by that?” Luke asked, but Augwynne only shook her head and went to the hearth. Her manservant ladled some soup into her bowl. Luke must have seen the fear etched into Isolder’s face, for he put his hand on Isolder’s back.

  “Don’t worry,” Luke said. “What Rell saw is only one possible future. Nothing is written. Nothing is written.”

  Chapter

  18

  After lunch, Teneniel led the group down to their mounts. Though the noon sun did not seem particularly warm, the rancors were already bathing in the ponds below the fortress, wading around on the bottom with only their nostrils showing.

  Some of the boys from the village were shouting orders to the rancors, and soon four of them came up out of the water. The boys put breastplates on the rancors, hauling up the heavy mail made of pieces of bone and bits of armor all tied together with whuffa hide. Once they got the armor on the rancors, the boys climbed up on their bony headplates and tied on the saddles. The saddles were situated in a shallow depression just in front of the headplate, and were held in place by means of ropes tied to the beast’s fangs, then strung back between its nostrils to the thorny bones at the top of its head plate. Two saddles were put on each mount.

  Leia chose to ride an old sow, a herd leader named Tosh, who had pale green lichens and moss growing in her warty brown skin. Han gave her a boost up on the rancor so that she could climb up its knobby arms to the bony plates on its shoulders, then leap over to the saddle. Then Han helped Isolder and Luke lug the droids up onto one of the mounts and tie them in. Taking the droids was difficult, but they needed Artoo’s sensors.