Her Reason to Stay

by Anna Adams

  “What did you do?”

  “All the worst things you can imagine. I can’t defend myself, and I’ll be lucky if she hasn’t set my coat on fire. I’ll be back. Okay?”

  She followed him down the hall. “I’m not happy with you.”

  “Neither am I.”

  “Okay, then, but don’t hurt that girl again just to scare her off.”

  He stared after her as she went to join Will. What did she mean about scaring Daphne off?

  He’d been worried about women. He’d managed to alienate every one who meant anything to him. Daphne. Raina. His mother.

  He drove, squinting at the sun, to Daphne’s place. He half hoped she’d be gone, and then a second later, he swore at the thought of not seeing her again.

  He parked in front of the garage. Her car was there. He searched for the ruins of his coat. It wasn’t outside. He ran up the stairs to her apartment and knocked, but no one answered.

  He leaned over the rail, searching Daphne’s yard.

  “Hello?”

  He froze. And then looked straight down.

  “Daphne.”

  “You’re looking for your coat?”

  “It is here?”

  “The pocket rang earlier.”

  “Why didn’t you answer it?”

  She peeled off gardening gloves and peered at him as if his brain might have stopped functioning.

  “Ah,” he said. “Dumb question.”

  “I’ll come open the door.”

  “You lock it?”

  “It’s Raina’s house.” She climbed the stairs, digging the key from her back pocket. Those faded jeans were his favorites.

  She opened the door and stood aside for him to pass. He saw the coat the second he was in. She’d hung it across the kitchen counter. He went straight to it and saw an open wine bottle.

  He swore.

  “What?” she asked. But when she reached his side, she knew. “Oh.”

  “Oh? That’s all you have to say?”

  Images flashed in front of him. Lisa, asleep with her head on the table when he got home from work. Will on that damn gurney, too tired to breathe.

  And Daphne, assuring him she wasn’t that kind of woman. He could trust her. She didn’t want another drink. She’d never hurt his son.

  His temper went for the roof. “I’ve felt guilty for—”

  “This is your moment of truth,” she said.

  “Like that was yours?” He pointed at the beautiful bottle of glinting liquid.

  “You have a choice.”

  He stared at her. “To join you in a glass?”

  She breathed out as if he’d hit her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry, Daphne.” He couldn’t see her lifting that bottle to her lips.

  “Don’t let me off the hook. Think about this. I trusted you yesterday and you used me. I care about you so much I made love to you even though I knew something was wrong. What would make me drink?”

  Suddenly, he couldn’t make himself ask if she had. Asking would be beyond the pale.

  “Can you be sure? If I tell you I didn’t, will you believe me?”

  He stared into her eyes, searching her, looking for the truth in her soul.

  “You’re afraid,” she said. “But you have to ask. And then you have to choose whether to believe me or not. And you’ll be choosing the way you’ll believe for the rest of your life, because this is your only chance.”

  “Daphne—”

  “And I love you,” she said.

  Joy slammed through his body the way they talked about it in books or movies. She loved him.

  “But you’re going to lose me,” she said, “because you’re afraid of being hurt. Not Will. You.”

  Silence ricocheted in that room like a heartbeat. He wanted to tell her she was wrong. He wanted to explain he was a man and he could handle his own problems, but he hadn’t handled a damn thing. He’d reacted, from the day Will had almost died.

  He’d been afraid to feel again.

  He gasped because the truth was a blow as dangerous to Will, and to Daphne and to him, as anything she could do with wine.

  He simply had to believe. He had to choose to believe.

  “Stop.” He held out his hand. “You don’t have to say any more. I’ve been doing the same thing you did to hide. You drank to forget you weren’t safe. You wanted to believe you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

  She stared at him. Yesterday lay in the shadow of her eyes.

  “I’ve been pushing you away because I don’t trust myself. I’m the one who brought danger to Will. I didn’t see what Lisa was doing. I don’t even know if I closed my eyes because I was busy, but Will was in danger because of me, as much as her, and I had to protect him. I had to find a way to keep him safe every day of his life.”

  “You can’t do that,” she said.

  “Not if I want him to actually live.” He took her hand, but he didn’t dare ask her to come closer. “I believe in you, in the promises you make and the love you feel and the joy you’ve brought me.”

  “I love you, Patrick.” She flattened her hand on his chest. “Will and I can learn to love each other, too.”

  “He’s halfway there. And my mother would probably rather you were her child.”

  “You know I can’t say I won’t ever drink again. All I can promise is that I’ll never do one thing near Will that could cause him a second’s discomfort.” She actually smiled, and his heart banged to get out of his chest. “Except I do indeed throw like a girl.”

  “You don’t have to say that again.” He kissed her. Thank God she kissed him back, with a fierceness he couldn’t believe he deserved.

  “Daphne.” Her name was a pleasure. “I think about you all day long, and I can’t sleep at night for wanting you.

  “We had that physical thing down from the start. It was learning to trust.” She hugged him tight. “In the face of wine bottles and fear.”

  No amount of fear was worth losing her. “I do love you.”

  “But?” she asked.

  “No but.” He pulled her arms around him. “Everything else comes after I love you.”

  “We have to be realistic. I could drink again. I need you to know that.”

  “If it happens, we’ll work through it. As long as you want to stay sober, we’ll manage. That’s marriage, I guess,” he said, not realizing he’d said it out loud.

  Daphne froze. “Marriage? We’d better be sure we can make this work first.”

  He kissed her. “That should have hurt, you turning me down.”

  “Did it?” She traced the line of his jaw. Her warm, soft, seeking mouth raised his body temperature about a thousand degrees.

  “I want you to know I’m not changing my mind because we had sex. I’m making a commitment.”

  “What did change your mind, Patrick?”

  “Well, every woman I care about has mentioned I have a problem. And when you said this was my moment of truth, I knew I could stop hurting you if I just trusted you. Neither one of us could have stood much more. Maybe you’ve been giving me reasons to believe ever since I met you.”

  “Patrick.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “Hmm?” He lifted her, and her legs went around his waist. Her breasts and thighs flattened against him, an invitation that ensured coherent thought would soon be impossible.

  “Do you want to know about that bottle?”

  “No.” He opened her mouth with his and took her back from the darkness of their doubts. She kissed him with generosity and love and forgiveness.

  She leaned her head back. “Why don’t we see just how sure you are that we’re right together?”

  “I’m damn near dying to show you.”

  EPILOGUE

  “I THOUGHT YOU SAID your car was in the shop,” Daphne said as her sister climbed into her passenger seat in the college parking lot.

  “It is. The alternator or the ignition—I don’t know what, but it’s bro
ken,” Raina said.

  “Isn’t that your car, right over there?” She pointed at a white Mercedes three spots down and one row over.

  “No. Are you kidding?” Raina shoved her bag onto the floor. “Let’s go. I don’t want my Spanish professor to see me.”

  “Why?”

  “I—I don’t like her.”

  “That’s not like you.” But Daphne put the car in gear and turned toward the end of the parking lot. “I still have to get candy, and I’m not sure Patrick will get home in time to put up the spiderwebs before the kids show up.”

  “I told you guys to do that last week.”

  “I know, but Patrick needed some help researching a case, and I owed an attorney in D.C. a prospective juror questionnaire.”

  “Patrick doesn’t have a clerk?” Raina leaned forward as they reached the main road. “I’m glad we’re out of there.”

  “What’s with you and the Spanish teacher?”

  “Huh?”

  “The one you don’t like.”

  “She says I speak Spanish with a French accent.”

  “Why didn’t you test through French?”

  “I wanted to learn something new, Daphne.”

  “You’re a funny woman. Can we stop at the grocery store?”

  “Sure. I might stay and help you pass out candy.”

  “Will you?” Daphne turned into the street. “Good. Let’s make Patrick hand out candy. When was the last time you trick-or-treated?”

  Her sister didn’t answer. Daphne glanced at her.

  “You’re kidding. Never?”

  “My parents threw a party instead.”

  “Oh, sister, your life changes tonight. Will’s convinced I’ll let him go to more houses, so he and I have been campaigning to have Patrick stay home.”

  “Cool.” Raina checked her watch. “I thought Lisa was coming for Halloween.”

  “She couldn’t get time off from her new job.” Lisa had decided California living suited her better after finishing rehab. “She’s coming for Thanksgiving instead. Why do you keep looking at your watch?”

  “Lots of homework and no time. Let’s call Patrick and have him pick up candy. Or Gloria. She’ll bring back the good stuff.”

  Daphne took a good look at the darkening sky. The tall pines rose around the interstate. They faced a few miles and probably some traffic getting into town. She’d hate to miss her first real Halloween with Will. Last year, they’d been so new to each other that she’d simply held his bag between houses and smiled politely at his haul. This year they’d mapped out the streets they wanted to visit. “That’s a good idea. It’s going to be dark by the time we get home. Will you call?”

  Raina dialed Gloria. “Yeah, it’s Raina. You’re coming to Patrick and Daphne’s for trick or treating?” She nodded at whatever Gloria said. “We were wondering if you could get the candy.” After a few seconds, she looked at Daphne. “She’s shocked you’ve waited till the last minute.”

  “I had some,” Daphne whispered, “but Patrick and Will got into it during the World Series.”

  Gloria agreed and when they reached home, Raina suggested they turn into the street behind the town house to park.

  “Honestly, this’ll be better,” Raina said. “People cruise up and down to get to the front doors on the other street.”

  “You’re acting weird, and it’s creepy going through the alley from here. Let’s jump over the garden fence.”

  “Okay,” Raina said. “I think we can do that.”

  They went into the kitchen door and found Patrick bagging the candy with his mother. He looked at Raina first. “You made it. Could you go check Will’s costume?”

  “Let me,” Daphne said.

  “No, Raina will do it. I really need some help here.”

  “Lots of help,” Gloria said. “Because you two waited till the last minute. I won’t tell you what I had to do to get this.”

  “If you’re arrested, you’re in good legal hands,” Patrick said. “Come on, Daphne. I have to go check the spiderwebs out front.”

  “Did you finish?”

  “The wind kept grabbing them. I want to make sure everything’s okay.”

  He stopped at her side. With one hand, he stroked her cheek. “And I’m glad to see you. Did you have a long drive from the college?”

  “I swear I saw Raina’s car. Why would she lie about needing a ride?”

  He kissed her without answering, and by the time he lifted his head, she didn’t care. Looking at him, she forgot his mother. “Halloween gets to you.”

  “You do,” he said. “Okay, Mom, I’m going. Sorry for embarrassing you.”

  He also disappeared.

  “Like I’ve never kissed a guy. That son of mine assumes too much.” Gloria stepped down the counter and showed Daphne the piles of candy. “One of each, the whole stack into one of these bags and twist on a tie and we’re good to go.”

  “Okay.” But she wondered how Will was doing with his werewolf costume.

  “I have to—find a bowl.” Gloria ran from the kitchen. “I’ll check the sideboard in the living room.”

  Nice. Her first family Halloween and she was stuck alone in the candy assembly line.

  “Grandma?”

  Daphne turned toward the door, expecting to see a walking pile of hair, but she caught a glimpse of black and white before a hand snatched Will out of sight.

  “Will?”

  “I’m okay,” he said.

  “Come show me your costume. Where’s the hair, buddy?”

  “I’m—I’m not through yet.”

  “How are those candies coming?” Raina asked from the next room. “I’m looking for a bowl. Gloria went upstairs to see if she could find one.”

  “Upstairs? We have bowls in every cupboard. What’s Will wearing?”

  “That hairy thing.”

  Why should Raina sound confused?

  The house went quiet again except for an occasional thump and then the front door opened and shut.

  “Patrick? How are the spiderwebs?”

  “Come look.”

  “I’ll bring the candy.” She filled a wooden salad bowl with a stack of the bags and hurried down the narrow hall. “Patrick?”

  Music started, but it wasn’t scary Halloween music. “This family has no clue about Halloween,” she said, opening the front door. “You’ve got the wrong CD on. That’s the wedding—”

  She saw flowers instead of spiderwebs, Will in a tux and Raina holding a beautiful, white satin gown.

  “Patrick?”

  He looked even better than Will in his tux. It hugged his broad shoulders and reminded her how tall he was. His eyes were nervous.

  “This seemed like a good idea,” he said, “but I’m thinking I should have asked you first.”

  “No.”

  “No?” he asked to a chorus of gasps.

  “I’m glad you surprised me.”

  In his tux, he knelt on the flower-strewn porch and took her hand. Behind him, Miriam and Gloria and Raina and Will all cheered.

  “Will you marry me?” Patrick asked. He glanced at the others over his shoulder. “Will you belong to all of us?”

  She couldn’t speak. She managed to fall to her knees and hold him, trembling. He turned his head against hers.

  “Is that yes?”

  She nodded, and he kissed the parts of her face he could reach. Over his shoulder, Gloria produced a prayer book from behind her back.

  “I borrowed this from Reverend Brown.”

  “What for?” Daphne asked, and this time her nearest and dearest laughed as one.

  “I’m marrying you,” Gloria said.

  Daphne turned to Patrick. “I’d rather we were legal.”

  “Absolutely.” Gloria said. “I got my license over the Internet just for tonight. Get dressed, young lady. I want you good and married before the first ghouls arrive.”

  “I made sure,” Patrick said as an aside.

  As Daphne nodd
ed, bewildered, Raina brought the dress. “I hope you like it. It seemed right.” She draped it over her arms, from beaded bodice to long narrow skirt.

  “It’s perfect.”

  They climbed the stairs together and Daphne dressed. Raina swept Daphne’s hair into a loose bun that she held in place with a jeweled clip.

  “Something borrowed,” she said with a hug. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. He and Will are everything to me.” She hugged Raina tight. “Along with you. You know that.”

  “You’re going to be blissful.”

  She ran down the stairs ahead of Daphne. Patrick was waiting at the bottom.

  “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” Daphne said. “And we’re going to have a Halloween anniversary.”

  “This is one of the luckiest days of my life,” he said. “But you haven’t had time to think about it. Do you want more time?”

  “I can’t wait, Patrick.” She looped her arms around him. He held her with shaking hands.

  “You make me forget how to think.” He kissed her cheek and her chin and the lines of her collarbone, bared by the dress. “The honeymoon,” he said. “Just tell me where, and I’ll arrange it.”

  “Sometime, when Will is used to all this, we could do something special.” She pressed her lips to his jaw. “But for now, could we rent one of those cabins on the lake? We could take Will with us. That would be wonderful.”

  “Perfect,” Patrick said.

  “Daddy, Grandma says it’s time.” Will came to them, dragging his feet. “Now I don’t get this. Are we really getting married tonight?” He tugged at his collar. “I don’t like this costume.”

  “We’re getting married.” Daphne knelt beside him. “Do you like the idea?”

  “Sure.” He hugged her tight and she saw stars. “I love you, Daphne, but can I put on my werewolf costume when we’re done getting married?”

  Laughing, she lifted him, and Patrick took him from her arms. “I say we all go trick-or-treating after we’re married,” Patrick said. “I want everyone in Honesty to see my family.”

  “I want some candy.” Will patted Daphne’s shoulder. “But since you’re going to be my second mommy at last, I’ll probably share some of it with you.”

  “Probably.” Patrick kissed Daphne, briefly but well. “And how lucky are you, that he’s my best wedding present?”