The Laird's Bastard Daughter (The Highland Warlord Series Book 1)

by Tessa Murran

  ‘Are you hurt, was I too rough?’ Cormac said, curtly.

  ‘No I...’ Ravenna turned her head towards him.

  ‘Don’t look at me,’ he growled, turning his back. ‘Tis done now, and no going back for either of us.’

  ***

  Cormac lay awake, reliving their lovemaking and stirred up with guilt, for it was no easy thing to lie with a woman who hated him. He’d forced himself to do it, to make good on his promise to the King, for honour demanded he stay true to his word. But honour did not mean pinning a woman down and forcing himself on her, while she cried out.

  Whatever Ravenna was, Gowan, bastard, bitch, only the worst of men would not feel a little pity for her predicament. She was alone, this strange, hard girl, alone in a place full of strangers, at the mercy of hostile men, and miles from home. Her father had not even kissed her goodbye when she left his keep forever, and their parting had been painfully abrupt and cold.

  For that reason, he had tried to be decent and get it over with as quickly as possible. For a woman such as Ravenna, proud and defiant, it would have been so much worse than for one who was meek and submissive and just let him do what he wanted. The humiliation of being used like that would have wounded her, he was sure of it. And yet, at some point, as he had invaded Ravenna’s heavenly body, he imagined he felt a change in her. When she had cried out, he could not tell if it was pleasure or pain, but he knew full well that, if he had aroused her, she would never admit it.

  Cormac admired the way she stood up to him, even as it exasperated him. She had made him fight to enjoy her body, and that excited him beyond measure. Was he some kind of a brute after all? If Ravenna had cowered before him, tearful and pleading he might have relented, but she did not. Her defiance stirred that black core of him, it challenged and aroused him. For the first time in many months, he had an overwhelming urge to lie with a woman. Why she affected him so much, intrigued him. Was it the way she challenged him, defying him at every turn? Was it because of those compelling grey eyes or her ripe, womanly body, moulding to his so perfectly, soft and tight around him?

  He had imagined taking Ravenna savagely, making himself master of this Gowan bitch, as a punishment for her insolence, after all, she had called him a beast. But why give her the satisfaction of being right? So instead of doing what his baser instincts urged him to do, he had forced himself to be gentle and tender.

  Cormac glanced over at her sleeping form. This woman belonged to him, and it was his right to just reach out and take her. He longed to put his mouth on every part of her ripe, soft body, kissing every curve and hollow. He wanted to just hold her and breathe in the scent of her. He wanted to stare into her eyes as he climaxed and see her want him back. But he had done none of that, and holding back when he was inside her, had been like making love in chains.

  He’d had his fair share of women, farm girls mostly, for whom a quick tupping in the grass was a thing to enjoy and then forget. He’d learnt his way around a woman’s body long ago and flattered himself that he was a skilled lover. But he’d never really had to learn much about seduction, nor had he the time for it, as he was always fighting for survival. As he had grown up big and strong, in his brusque manliness and indifferent attitude, women saw a challenge, and that seemed to appeal to them. They fell into his bed easily enough. His brief and ill-fated marriage had not required seduction, and it would not have made any difference to the outcome anyway.

  Tonight he had made love like a callow youth who has no idea what he is doing. Cormac had done it to spare Ravenna, but he had certainly not spared himself. He felt curiously unsatisfied, knowing there was more pleasure to be had than that quick coupling.

  So he lay awake into the witching hour, looking down at his wife sleeping, and fighting the urge to roll her over, and take her again and again, until he was rid of wanting her. Perhaps that was the only way to cast off his lust for this woman who was the spawn of his enemy.

  Cormac lay back on the pillow with his arm behind his head. Whatever he did, it was going to be a very long night.

  When dawn broke through the shutters, he was still awake. Ravenna woke slowly beside him but, when she flung out her arm and touched him, she recoiled and sat bolt upright. In doing so, she let the blanket fall, and Cormac got an eyeful of her firm, ripe breasts. The remembered pleasure of them in his hands, heavy and smooth, aroused him, and he struggled to keep his distance. He forced himself to spring out of bed and wriggle into his braies.

  ‘Get up, we must break our fast, and then I have work to do, and so do you,’ he said gruffly.

  ‘I think I have already done my work,’ she said with downcast eyes.

  So, she had hated it all. Cormac’s disappointment came out as anger. ‘Get up I say, or do I need to make you do it again?’

  With that she turned her back on him and said over her shoulder, ‘Can you not turn around?’

  ‘I have seen you, woman, no need to be shy around me now.’

  ‘I want you to turn away while I wash the smell of you off me.’

  ‘As you wish, but you are going to have to get used to it. I don’t intend to stop having you any time soon.’

  Cormac flung on the rest of his clothes and rushed from the room.

  Chapter Nine

  When Ravenna entered the hall, Fearghas and Lyall were at the table, already eating. Cormac stood before the fire. They were all laughing at something but stopped abruptly when she entered. With her face burning, she approached the table, just as Cormac came around it and pulled out a chair for her. He gave her a slight smile as she sat down, and this unexpected kindness knocked her off-guard, so she was not prepared for Fearghas’s words.

  ‘So, Cormac, it would seem you have finally made good on your marriage vows and consummated the damn thing.’

  ‘What?’ snapped Cormac.

  ‘Well, it’s obvious you’ve done the deed, son, judging by the miserable look on her face and the smug one on yours.’

  ‘Father, show some bloody respect for God’s sake.’

  ‘Respect? To a Gowan?’

  Cormac’s voice rose to a fury and echoed around the hall. ‘To my wife.’

  Fearghas grew pale with anger. ‘Wife now is it? Already the bitch has you by the balls. She’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You think her some blushing innocent? This one, she’s a bastard, and she has most likely whored herself to half of Mauldsmyre before Baodan let her loose on you. God knows who she’s been with before.’

  ‘Come on now, let’s stop this,’ said Lyall, holding his hands out but to no effect.

  ‘Call her a whore again,’ snarled Cormac, ‘and I will knock you down, old man.’

  ‘Look, Lyall, look how he defends a Gowan before his own kin,’ whined Fearghas.

  ‘I make no apologies for defending my wife.’

  ‘Who you did not want, who you were forced to wed at the King’s whim,’ shouted Fearghas.

  ‘And none of that is her fault, is it? I made a vow before a priest so, Gowan or not, Ravenna is my wife, and I will have her treated with respect. I will not punish her for the sins of her father, nor will you.’

  ‘You think because she is a woman, she is harmless, Cormac,’ said Fearghas. ‘Let me tell you this, son. She is a Gowan, she has his blood in her veins and with it, his deceit, his viciousness and his cruelty. She is the devil’s spawn. All she has to do is open her legs, and suddenly you are all chivalry and foolishness, but mark me, if you trust her, it will be your doom.’

  ‘I don’t have to trust her to bed her, but nor will I be cruel. You will bite your tongue, Father.’

  Ravenna got up with the scrape of her chair across the flagstones, but Cormac turned on her.

  ‘Stay where you are.’

  ‘I will not sit here and be insulted.’

  ‘You will sit and do as you are told, or feel my wrath, woman.’

  The look in his eyes chilled Ravenna to the core, so she sat back down.

  ‘If you must quarrel do i
t outside, you two,’ said Lyall. ‘Have mercy on my nerves. I want to eat without all your bile poisoning my food, and I’m sure Ravenna does too.’

  ‘Bah, my sons are both fools,’ bellowed Fearghas, ‘and that one is nothing but trouble,’ he said, pointing angrily at her as he stormed out of the hall, with Cormac following him. Their shouts faded away down the yard outside.

  Lyall calmly handed her a bannock and said cheerily, ‘they’ll not let up any time soon, but they’ll not come to blows, don’t worry. My father will come to his senses in a while, though don’t hold your breath for an apology any time soon. He never admits he is wrong. He’s a like Cormac, in that regard, and that is why it is never peaceful around here.’

  Ravenna did not answer him. All she could do was look down at the table with her cheeks burning and humiliation driving her to the edge of tears. How she hated to be this powerless and the worst thing about it was, Fearghas was right. She was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, sent here to spy on his family. Was she a whore as well, lying with Cormac just to get something in return, something that could destroy him? Lyall and Morna were good people, they had been kind to her, and she was betraying them too.

  Lyall’s discomfort with the situation was almost as bad as hers. ‘I am sorry for what was said, Ravenna. Please do not despair of my brother. He has a good heart and, believe it or not, he is gentler than my father. Give him a chance, he will be a good husband, I swear to you.’

  With that, he got up and left the table, while Ravenna was left alone in the hall to work out what to do. The Buchanans would never accept her, that was the truth of it, so she may as well do what she came here to do and get on with the task in hand. She would use Cormac as he used her.

  Ravenna got up and rushed outside, barging straight into Ramsay. He gripped on to her a little too long before letting go.

  ‘I hear you are causing trouble, Ravenna.’

  ‘Let go of me, or Cormac will hear of it.’

  ‘Tell him, he will probably just thank me for teaching you your place. He may want you now, but he will soon tire of you, whore, and once he puts a child in you, and fulfils his duty to the King, Cormac will find his pleasure elsewhere. That will leave you all alone in your cold bed, little dove. Just say the word, and maybe I will stoop to warming it for you.’

  ‘Get away from me, you are a disgusting worm.’

  ‘Worm, am I? My father served this clan and his father before him. I’ve seen many Buchanan sons put in the ground because of that bastard who sired you. Now I am told to obey a Gowan.’

  ‘I am not my father.’

  ‘Makes no difference, his bad blood flows through your veins. You are a plague on this house, and the worst of it is, my Lord cannot see it.’

  Ravenna shook herself free and headed out of Beharra and on up the hill as fast as her legs could carry her.

  Some way from the castle she heard her name being called and turned to see Alisdair catching up with her. Ravenna’s heart sank.

  He came up to her, puffing from his exertions and got straight to the point.

  ‘Your father grows impatient. You are to go down along the river, where it bends into the far stand of trees, where there is cover. There is a big fallen tree, rotted to a hollow inside. Write your messages and leave them inside it. Do this every few days in the morning, early, before most are abroad, and from time to time, my man will come. You will pass on each and every secret you have, however small, to your father.’

  ‘I can’t do that. I will be seen, and besides, I have found out nothing of importance, they do not trust me and…’

  ‘If you do not,’ he said, taking her arm in a spiteful grip, ‘and you dare to come outside the walls of Beharra again, there will be no escaping your father’s wrath. He will have you taken from here, and he will turn your life into a living hell.’

  ‘It already is hell, so what difference does it make what I do?’

  He smirked at her coldly. ‘If you cannot be worked upon, we must find a softer piece of fruit to bruise, Morna, perhaps. She’ll be mine soon, especially if I hasten our wedding as Fearghas is keen to get it done. Once she is in my bed, whatever anger your father has towards you, I will take it out on her.’

  ‘No, you can’t.’

  ‘Do as I say then.’

  ‘I can stop you, Alisdair. I can tell Cormac everything.’

  ‘Aye, but given his temper, I doubt that would end well for you. Wives are their husband’s property to do with as they wish. He is quite within his rights to beat you or wall you up to starve to death. I’ve seen men do worse for a lesser betrayal than yours. You are in a dangerous game Ravenna, with high stakes, best not falter in your loyalties now.’

  Alisdair droned on at her, giving his orders. What a pathetic creature he was, thinking himself the big man, being part of her father’s schemes, sneaking around behind Cormac’s back while he tried to stick a knife in it. He was being used by Baodan Gowan, and so was she, but at least she had the sense to know it.

  But he was right about one thing - she’d best remember where her allegiance lay. This situation she was in was like falling into a bog, the more you struggled to get out, the more it sucked at you. She looked down at Beharra and saw Cormac riding out across the moors, at full gallop, and in a fury. Obviously, he had not mended fences with his father.

  Strange he chose to defend her like that, and Ravenna wondered why this bleak stranger sought her bed and her good opinion when he had no need to do either.

  ***

  The next morning she was relieved to see Alisdair mounting up, to ride out of Beharra. He blew Morna a kiss, and she gave him a wan smile in return.

  ‘I cannot wait until we are joined, my love, and I make you my wife,’ he shouted, in mock ardour, as he whirled his horse around and galloped out.

  Ravenna followed the girl back into the hall and Morna immediately turned to her with an ashen face.

  ‘My father has agreed to it. We are to be married within the year. I did not think it would be so soon.’

  ‘Nor did I, Morna,’ said Ravenna, with a sinking heart.

  ‘Ravenna, can I tell you something, but you must swear not to tell anyone else?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  Alisdair, he did something. I did not like it, and if that is what will happen when…’

  Ravenna grabbed her arms. ‘What? What did he do?’

  ‘He begged for a kiss. I thought it rude to refuse, seeing as we are betrothed and all. I thought it would help me reconcile myself to the marriage, so I let him. But he…he put his hands all over me, and when I pulled away and started crying, he just laughed. He said I may as well get used to it and to stop being such a silly, little virgin.’

  ‘So he just touched you? He didn’t do anything else?’

  ‘No, I ran away from him and all the while he just laughed. Was I being foolish Ravenna, did I offend him? If my father finds out I have, he will be so angry. He is fixed on my wedding Alisdair.’

  ‘Tell him you don’t want to then, tell him you refuse.’

  ‘I cannot defy my father like that.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I love him and honour him.’

  ‘But he is doing a terrible thing giving you to that man. You don’t have to throw your life away just because your father wants an alliance.’

  ‘Perhaps, being a bastard, you don’t understand, but I love my father and want him to be proud of me.’

  The girl’s words cut deep. ‘That is a cruel thing to say, Morna.’

  ‘Forgive me. I did not mean it like that,’ she said, her face reddening.

  ‘I know exactly what you meant,’ replied Ravenna.

  Morna withered under her anger and fled, sobbing, from the hall. Ravenna put her hands on her hips and tried to calm her anger.

  ‘That Alisdair, I care not for him.’

  Ramsay’s voice startled her.

  ‘Are you listening in doorways again, Ramsay?’

  �
�You hear interesting things in doorways sometimes. But I meant what I said. I don’t like him, this marriage to Morna, it’s a mistake. Alisdair is not good enough for her. He is a weasel.’

  ‘Something we can finally agree on.’

  ‘Aye, but don’t think it makes us friends, woman, for I think you are a weasel too.’

  ‘Talk to me that way again, and I will have you whipped around the yard, in front of everyone.’

  Ramsay just smirked at her.

  ‘Do you doubt I am in earnest?’

  ‘No, I don’t doubt it. Women are far more capable of cruelty than men.’

  ‘And how is that?’

  ‘Because when you care for them, they take your heart in their hand, and bit by bit, they make a fist around it.’

  With those strange words, he left Ravenna standing there, wondering who on earth had broken his stony heart.

  Chapter Ten

  Ravenna stared up at the ceiling of the bedchamber, trying to take her mind far away.

  Over the last few weeks, her life had fallen into a tense kind of routine. She threw herself into running the castle, and she found she was good at it. She relished having just a little bit of power over her day, to make decisions, to absorb her mind so that she didn’t have to think about her husband and her precarious situation.

  Cormac came and went frequently, often taking Lyall with him, but she was not privy to where he was going or what he was doing. Fearghas and Ramsay watched her like a hawk around the keep and made her stay close to it. Ravenna had discovered nothing of importance other than the odd snippet about the King’s business and his plans to attack the last remaining castles garrisoned with English troops. Her father would already know of such plans, so that information was useless to him. She needed time to rest, and gather her thoughts, but that was not to be.

  Cormac had arrived back from his latest foray, and so there would be no rest.

  She felt a shoot of pleasure rip through her as Cormac moved against her, making the bed creak and groan. She tried to cling on to her hatred of him, and she tried to deny the pleasurable feelings twitching in her belly as his manhood filled her. It was turning her face and breasts to fire, making her yearn to grasp him close and reach out and take whatever it was that seemed just out of reach. She bit her lip hard, to stop herself from doing just that.