by Tessa Murran
Chapter Eighteen
Ravenna hurried back to Beharra with her heart pounding. She’d done it, there was no going back now. In a way, it was a relief, an end to her turmoil. Her message would reach her father soon, and he would act on it, and then it would all be out in the open. The summer sun was slipping away behind the trees, making her shiver.
As she strode through the gates, she was stopped short by a rough hand coming around her throat and another around her waist, pressing her close. The hand squeezed against her windpipe, as Ramsay hissed, ‘Traitorous bitch, you should have taken more care not to be seen. You’ve just sealed your doom. Your father’s man will die too when we catch up with him.’
‘No,’ she shouted, wriggling free of him and trying to run inside. But he was too fast. He caught up with her, spinning her around and cuffing her across the face, with a blow that sent her reeling to the ground.
Everyone in the yard started to gather around, Ravenna could hear them gasp and mutter and question. Some of the women put their hands to their mouths in horror as Ramsay began to condemn her in the most venomous way.
‘This woman is a traitor to our clan. I just caught her meeting with a man in the woods, sending messages in secret to the Gowans, to betray us all. She is a devil, a she-wolf, and we must be rid of her.’
Ravenna struggled to her feet and looked at the circle of faces before her, some shocked, some looking on her with malicious glee, some shaking their heads. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of the young servant girls rush off inside the keep.
‘You cannot do anything with the Laird’s wife,’ shouted one brave soul.
‘I am taskman here, and it is my duty to keep you all safe. God knows what will come at us because of her treachery or even if we can survive it, or our Laird. He put his trust in me, and I will honour it.’
Ramsay put his hands into his pocket and tore out the parchment, holding it up triumphantly. ‘See, she left this for her father’s man to find and he will, no doubt, plan an ambush for our Laird somewhere on the road. It is what she has wanted from the beginning, to see him dead, to see all of us dead. She has a secret place, down along the river, where she leaves her messages for those Gowan bastards.’
Gasps came from all around them.
‘That is a lie,’ shouted Ravenna. ‘I did not betray you. Ramsay is mistaken I…’
He came at her and did the worst possible thing. He grabbed her by the hair and punched her in the stomach. The breath went out of her with the shock of it. She could not get any air into her lungs to fight back, as Ramsay dragged her over to the big tree near the smithy. There, he pushed her to her knees and spat his words into her face.
‘You are a traitorous bitch, and I’ll give you a traitor’s death.’
He looked around him. There were hammers, hooks and pincers in plain sight. Oh God, he was going to use one on her, beat in her skull or tear her stomach open. Ravenna summoned all her will and sucked air into her lungs, gasping as her chest heaved back into life. She must fight for herself now, for the Buchanans, some of whom had been friendly, some of whom had hated her on sight, were doing nothing. They were like sheep, following blindly along with a bully rather than have his anger fall on them. They were too fearful of Ramsay to do anything to help her, and he was in a frenzy of rage and righteousness. She could see anger and excitement slithering in his eyes.
‘Stop him, please,’ shouted Ravenna. ‘You must stop him. I did nothing to harm you, quite the opposite. If he would let me speak, I will tell you the truth of it.’
Ramsay clamped a hand over her mouth, and his arm went around her, squeezing. ‘Be quiet, whore. No one wants to hear your poison.’
‘I do.’ Morna’s voice was shaking, but she had burst through the crowd and stood glaring at Ramsay. ‘You will unhand Ravenna now, or the Laird will hear of this.’
‘I am in charge while he is gone, not you, and I’ll not suffer a traitor to live on the whim of a foolish, little girl. She plots her husband’s death, and yours too, and you should have more loyalty to your brothers.’ He turned to the people. ‘See how the feeble mind of a female is easily twisted.’
‘Ramsay, we must hear the facts of this properly. Let her go, at once,’ shouted Morna.
He took no notice. It was as if she were a fly he swatted away. He called to his henchmen. ‘Take my Lady Morna inside, she is hysterical, and she is in my way.’
With that, Morna was dragged away, screaming and struggling, and with her went Ravenna’s best hope of salvation.
‘Get a rope,’ he snarled to one of his henchmen. ‘I’d like to see this one dance.’
In Ramsay’s iron grip Ravenna could only watch in horror as a rope was fetched, and a noose fashioned in one end. She had to fight for breath, his grip was so tight, his fingers over her nose. She feared she would suffocate before they lynched her, or her heart would burst open, as it was hammering so hard it hurt. Fear took her, and she could barely move.
Fight, run, bite. The words rushed around her mind. With her eyes, she pleaded with the people around her for help, but they mostly looked away or down at their feet. Some of the women started sobbing, and it sounded so loud over the quiet horror of what was unfolding.
Ravenna looked up as the other end of the rope was slung over a thick bough of the tree. As his grip loosened momentarily to pull the noose over her head, she took her chance and twisted, raking her nails across Ramsay’s eye, feeling blood wet her fingers. He bellowed in rage and pulled the noose tight, causing the rough fibre of the rope to bite into her throat.
‘For that, bitch, I will make this last a long time,’ he said. He gestured at one of his men, and suddenly she was hauled upwards, off her feet.
The pain was excruciating, all the weight of her body on her neck. She could not breathe, her head seemed to be swelling, her skull filling with pressure, eyes fit to burst. It was as if a huge rock was pressing down on her. She clawed at the rope, but it was dug in too tight for her fingers to get under it.
As if from far away, Ravenna heard a voice, with all the fury of hell in it.
‘Get her down…now.’
Cormac. Could it be?
‘She has betrayed us, Laird. She is a traitor to our clan. She was plotting your murder.’
‘Ramsay, I said, let her go, or by God, I will make you a head shorter,’ he roared.
Seconds later, Ravenna hit the ground.
Rough hands tore the rope from around her neck, and she looked up into Cormac’s face, seeing such rage in it that she flinched back.
‘We followed her along the river and saw her leaving a message for someone,’ shouted Ramsay, with a hint of fear in his voice now.
‘You dared to lynch my own wife, Ramsay?’
‘Laird, steady yourself. Here, see for yourself, the message, see the truth of what I am saying,’ he shouted, holding up the parchment triumphantly. ‘She was telling them where to find you and ambush you. She was telling them you were travelling to Alisdair’s keep.’ Cormac snatched it from him.
‘I was protecting the Clan, Laird, as I swore to do in your absence, as I have always done, Laird. I am loyal, not like this Gowan whore. She has poisoned your mind, she has softened it, and all because you want to lie with her and you…’
Cormac punched Ramsay square in the face causing him to fall back onto the dirt. Ravenna watched him stand over the bleeding man for the longest time, his shoulders heaving in anger then he turned to his clansmen.
‘If this woman has betrayed me,’ he snarled, ‘then she is mine to punish.’ He looked down at her. ‘Ravenna’s life is mine to take, and no one else’s.’ He turned back to them. ‘Am I understood?’
Silence.
‘Am I understood,’ he bellowed. Ravenna could see a vein throbbing in his temple. His face was white with rage. A murmur of ‘ayes’ went around the yard.
‘Until I get to the truth of this, any one of you touches her without my leave again, and I will gut you. That is
a promise.’
He came over to her and, with a look of utter contempt, hauled her to her feet and dragged her roughly off through the crowd and inside the keep. Ravenna’s legs went from under her, but it didn’t slow him down, he just pulled her along behind him as if she were nothing.
***
Cormac threw her inside the chamber and slammed the door with such force Ravenna thought it would break free of its hinges. She could hear his rapid breathing filling the room, and his face was set with iron hardness.
‘Are you hurt?’ he spat, looking away from her.
‘My neck, that is all. Nothing broken, I don’t think.’ Her voice was almost a whisper as her throat swelled. She put her hand up to where it was scoured by the rope.
‘Is it true, what Ramsay said, did you send a message to your father?’
‘Yes, it is true, but…’
Cormac came at her in a rush and grabbed her around the throat, ramming her up against the door. ‘I should kill you myself, with my own bare hands.’ For a moment, his hand started to squeeze and then he punched the door, inches from her head, with all his strength. The whole thing shook, but he didn’t seem to feel it.
Cormac released her and stepped back. Even further away, he was still terrifying, looming over her. When she had thought him a beast on first meeting him, she had no idea that something this dark lurked in him. He had every reason to kill her as a traitor, and the King would not even punish him for it. It was not unknown for husbands to beat wives to death and suffer no penalty. Once her deceit was revealed, the King may even congratulate him on it.
‘Cormac, please.’
‘I showed you kindness, my family did too. My sister, she is so fond of you, it will break her heart. How could you betray us all? How could you do it, Ravenna? I knew you were hard, but this? When we lay together you clung to me and cried out my name. I thought you wanted me as I wanted you. I always knew you could not love me, but I thought we could at least have respect and loyalty between us. Like a fool, I even thought you had begun to care for me a little.’ He knotted his brows. ‘The child, is that all a lie too?’
‘Please, I know you won’t believe me, and why would you, for now you have every reason to hate me, but I did not betray you, I swear, and if you let me explain...’
‘Speak, and quickly Ravenna, before I am tempted to finish what Ramsay started.’
‘Cormac, please, listen to me. When I wed you, I had no expectations of happiness or kindness, I only wanted to survive my father’s cruelty. My life was wretched before I came here, and he offered me a chance to escape it if I did as he bid. And so I agreed to marry you, and pass on information to him, in exchange for my freedom.’
‘And how could you be free, Ravenna?’
‘He said once I was… widowed… I could choose my own path.’
‘So, you want to kill me? You gave them my secrets so they could find a weakness.’
‘Yes, but not important ones.’
‘That man who came at me on the road back from Roxburgh, was that your doing?’
‘What man?’
His withering look turned her blood to ice. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, through gritted teeth.
‘I once had every reason to want you dead, Cormac. I hated you when I came here but then I…’
‘What, Ravenna?. Are you going to plead for your life by telling me you love me? You are nothing but a liar. My own man, loyal to my clan all his life, swears you are.’
‘That is because he cannot read. The message - read it and see how I have betrayed you.’
Cormac opened his fist, which had been shut tight the whole time. His hand was bleeding across the knuckles. Ravenna wondered that if he had broken it, such was the violence with which he had thumped the door. He spread out the crumpled parchment and frowned.
‘I gave them the opposite of what they wanted Cormac, and I have from the first message I sent. I have never put you in danger.’
‘It says I was going to Perth to see the King.’
‘Aye.’
‘But Ramsay said you knew I was going to see Alisdair. So they were looking for me on the wrong road.’
‘I hoped they would, so you could stay safe.’
‘Why, Ravenna?’
‘I needed time to work out what to do. My father set me to spying. He made threats of what would happen if I did not, and I had nowhere to run to escape him. It has all been so awful, all the lies.’
‘Why did you not tell me this?
‘How could I, when you all hated me. A wolf in sheep’s clothing your father called me, and he was right, I was. I thought you would use me to warm your bed, never care for me, never trust me. I had no reason to trust you. I was caught between one world and another, being crushed between them. My father said if I became his spy, he would release me from the convent he had banished me to, that I could avenge my clan for all the wrongs you did us. He said when you were gone, I could find a rich husband. I so wanted to get away from him, from my awful life, from my poverty and loneliness.’
‘So my death was the price of your freedom, Ravenna?’
‘Freedom? You talk to a woman of freedom. We are never free, we are put on this earth to serve the pleasure of men and to obey. The best I could hope for was to betray you so that I could make a good marriage to any man of wealth who would have me. In the end, I chose you because I trust you to destroy just one Gowan, Baodan Gowan, and not all the others, people I grew up with, innocent people, who are not part of his schemes.’
Cormac hung his head. So there it was, she had broken him, betrayed him and it was not worth it.
‘Cormac, once my father finds out that I have betrayed him, his anger will be terrible, and he may even have me killed. I was sending messages to give myself some time to work out what to do. So kill me if you want, I don’t care, my life is over, and it was never much of a life anyway.’
‘Ravenna, you should have told me.’
‘Aye, but I never betrayed you, only myself, my own family, my own clan, never you.’
‘Ravenna.’ His voice was almost a sob. ‘The child?’
‘Is real, and it is yours. I don’t hate you, Cormac. I have every reason to, but I can’t. Forgive me, please.’
He stared at her for the longest time and then cleared the distance between them in two long strides and took her in his arms.
Chapter Nineteen
Ravenna made her way up the winding staircase to the top of the keep and looked out. The early morning mist had not fully cleared. It snaked around the green hills and the tops of trees like ghostly fingers. All was soft and hushed and, for a long while, she watched the river below slide by. It was the calm after the storm.
It was hard to make sense of how she felt. Joy and love were so unknown to her that it took her a while to acknowledge that they had entered her heart. Cormac had made love to her all night, in a way that could not be mistaken for anything other than the passion of a man who wanted her, body and soul. For the first time in years, she was fully a woman again, someone who could feel something, want something, desire something.
A soft footfall sounded, and she turned to see it was Cormac. His face was solemn.
‘May I stay here beside you?’ he said.
‘Since when did you ask permission for anything?’
They were both quiet for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was gentle.
‘How strange it is to stand here, at peace with a Gowan. I never would have thought it.’
‘Nor I, for I was brought up to hate you all.’
‘Do you know how it started, this war between our two clans?’
‘One of the Buchanans slaughtered one of the Gowans?’
‘Aye, there has been a deal of murder to be sure, but it all started with love.’
Ravenna frowned at him.
‘Aye, ‘twas love. Many years ago, a Gowan man by the name of Finlay, out riding on the borders between the clans, spotted Isela Buchanan. She was lovely, t
he Laird’s daughter, a perfect match for him. So besotted was he, imagining her as the future Lady of Maulsdmyre, that he got his father to negotiate a union. But Isela was in love with another, so she spurned his advances, and her father, being indulgent of his youngest daughter, let her have her way. This only served to curdle Finlay’s love into something hateful. On the eve of her wedding, Finlay stole Isela away and smuggled her back into Mauldsmyre, unbeknownst to his father. There, he ensured she would wed him, by claiming the rights of a husband, by force. He expected her to succumb and be his wife, for Finlay loved her so much he could not believe that she did not love him back.’
‘Did she, succumb?’
‘In the dead of night, heartbroken and shamed beyond measure, Isela crept from Finlay’s bed and climbed up to the battlements and threw herself off the top of the keep. Her father’s men and her lover, hiding in the woods below, saw it all. So the first day Finlay rode out of the keep after that, was be his last. Isela’s lover took his head, starting a war that has lasted a generation. From that day on, the Gowans and Buchanans hated each other.’
‘That’s a horrible story, Cormac.’
‘Aye, it is, but my grandmother told me it is true, every word. Ravenna, you were given to a Buchanan and dragged into his bed. You didn’t come up here to throw yourself off the top of my keep, did you?’
‘No,’ she laughed, ‘because I am a bad woman, who values her life more than her virtue.’
Cormac smiled, and it was a rare and glorious thing, warming his face to handsome instead of fierce. There was a tender look in his eyes as the sunlight softened their blackness to a warm bronze.
‘Cormac, all I ever knew growing up was that the Buchanan’s were evil monsters who would steal us from our beds and slit our throats, filthy ugly barbarians, little better than wild animals.’
‘And are we?’
‘Aye, you are in every way, but I don’t mind it.’
‘So, I’m not a monster then?’
‘I tried to think of you like that, for a long time, but somehow, I could not.’
