Only His Touch: Part One (The Untouched Series Book 4)

by Lilly Wilde

  I knew I’d hate whoever it was, but I still wanted to know. I’d bet money it was Anja. She was a brazen bitch.

  “Aria, since the day you left up until now, my dick hasn’t been inside anyone but you. That’s all you need to know.” He looked at me as if he was deciding whether to say more. “Has anyone been inside you?”

  The detail I’d skipped and foolishly hoped he would let slide had finally crept into the conversation.

  “I noticed you conveniently left that part out of your story,” he said. “Why?”

  “Because,” I replied, and cleared my throat. “I don’t think we should go there.”

  “But just now you wanted to go there when it applied to me,” he said. “What’s the difference?”

  “I guess there isn’t one, but it feels different coming from me.”

  “It’s not. I assure you. Honestly, the thought of you sharing something as intimate as childbirth and raising a child with Kellan bothers me far more than you having sex with him. Don’t get me wrong, both scenarios cause a vast amount of contempt for that fuck—” He inhaled, and shook his head. “For that guy.”

  “I didn’t say I slept with Kellan.”

  “And you didn’t say you didn’t,” he said, becoming impatient. “Don’t play games with me.”

  “Aiden, you do know he and I were trying to be together—as a couple. And couples do tend to have sex.”

  “So, you did?”

  “Well…” How could I explain this to him?

  His eyes narrowed. “You let him touch you? You did, didn’t you?” He looked both disgusted and confused. “You were naked with him. Your bodies touched,” he said, more to himself than to me. He was letting his imagination get the better of him.

  Surely he knew Kellan and I had been intimate. Just a few moments ago, he said he’d figured I was in love with Kellan, so this was hardly news to him. But his assumptions were one thing…hearing his assumptions confirmed caused this to take on an entirely different face.

  His phone rang, but he didn’t move. His eyes were zeroed in on me.

  “You should answer that,” I said.

  “It can go to voicemail.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, so please answer it.”

  His eyes became hard as he reached into his pocket for his phone. “Yeah?” he answered the caller.

  I didn’t like sitting under the heat of his angry gaze, so I started to get out of my chair. He mouthed don’t move, and my heart thumped as I realized the details I’d intentionally bypassed were within moments of being revealed.

  “Can this wait?” He asked the person on the other end of the phone. Aiden listened to the caller, but his piercing green eyes didn’t leave mine. He didn’t appear hurt—he looked angry, but that was Aiden’s shield to disguise his pain, he’d just verified as much a few moments ago. He ended the call, and slowly lowered the phone from his ear. He looked down, and placed his phone on the table. His jaws flexed as he closed his eyes and then opened them, looking back up at me.

  “It was about a month after I’d moved to Belize. And again—a few days before you’d arrived.”

  He sank back in the chair. “A month? A fucking month?”

  “Aiden, you’ve got to understand where my mind was at the time. I was trying to do all I could to move on, and to accept the choices I’d made.”

  “You were six months pregnant with my child and having sex with that guy?”

  “Aiden, what did you expect me to do? Suddenly become celibate?”

  “You sure as hell sounded like that’s what you expected of me!” he accused in a raised voice. “But you, you get to do whatever the fuck you want, right? It’s okay that you went through these motions with him, right? That you left me? That you threw us away and jumped into bed with that guy?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” I said. “Don’t do this.”

  “Don’t do what?” he asked. “Feel?”

  “I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “You’re an extremely intelligent person. Surely you don’t expect me to believe that.”

  “If it were only that simple. I’m sure you can understand when I say this doesn’t boil down to intelligence. When the heart’s involved, education is irrelevant. And you sure as hell can’t compare it to work experience. I’ve learned in the last year that love is very different and often difficult, and we make all types of sacrifices for love. And I made a sacrifice for my child.”

  He abruptly left the table again, leaving me sitting there, not knowing what was next. Would this be the one thing that determined if we could move forward? Would this break us? Several minutes had passed and I didn’t know if he planned to return, so I went in search of him. I found him in Lyric’s room holding a picture of the three of us. I stepped beside him, and smiled at the family that was staring back at us.

  “Looking at Lyric, I understand. He’s the only reason I could ever give you up,” Aiden said, in a low voice. “After a child enters the picture, he should become the priority. I never had that as a child, and to a certain degree, neither did you, so I can understand how you didn’t want to repeat that with our son. But dammit, it cuts like a knife to hear about it.”

  “I’m so sorry. I know you realize the depth of my regret.”

  “I do. Just as you realize that I somewhat blame myself for your choices. You thought I was a piece of shit because of how I handled Nadia’s pregnancy.”

  When he’d told me about Nadia’s abortion and his part in it…I was disappointed, but that disappointment became something else when I’d heard the words you’re pregnant.

  “And of course, my family and my position with Raine Industries brought on an entirely unwelcomed layer.” He grasped my hand and led me to the chair near Lyric’s crib, and pulled me into his lap.

  I kissed his cheek and placed my head on his shoulder. After a few quiet moments, he told me of his work with his charities and Raine Industries. He told me about the dates he’d had. That part both hurt and angered me. In the end, when we’d had our curiosity satisfied, and let out all of the painful parts, I sat up and we just stared at each other.

  “I fucked up,” he said. “We both did. But I love you, and I don’t want to spend another day of my life knowing you aren’t mine.”

  I still didn’t fully comprehend what that meant, because I was his, and I wanted a life with Aiden and Lyric—like a real family. But we had a lot of growing and healing to do. “Do you trust me?”

  “I can actually ask you the same question. I haven’t always been honest with you.”

  “Then how do we go from here to that picture perfect family we were just looking at? It’s safe to say we both want it, but we won’t work if we don’t have trust.”

  “Aria, I think you were honest with me until you felt you couldn’t be, and that was in part due to some of my poor choices and my deceit, not to mention the prompting from my mother. I think we’ve had a very hard lesson, and I know you’ll do whatever you need to in order to protect Lyric and to protect us. Is my trust at one-hundred percent? No. But not because I think you’re untrustworthy, but because I know you’re prone to running.”

  “I’m getting better at staying, I think.”

  “I hope so,” he said. “Trust has been broken on both sides—repeatedly. We’ll constantly be in turmoil until we’re able to just relax and trust in what we have.”

  I wanted that, too. “I close my eyes and see that picture, and it looks like a dream…a dream I’d never want to awaken from…but can we do it?”

  “I know we can.”

  “And the trust part?” I asked.

  “My trust was broken. So was yours. But if our trust was totally destroyed, I wouldn’t dare attempt a relationship with you,” he said. “We can get there.”

  “Then what?” I asked.

  “Then you’ll close your eyes and make your Christmas wish. And when you open them…I’ll be right here.”r />
  Chapter Seven

  Our conversation left Aiden’s last words hanging in the air. I was both surprised and relieved when he didn’t push me to respond. I suppose our discussion was enough to digest at this point. We agreed it was best to step away from it all before coming to any final conclusions. If our being happy was a testament to our future, then no further discussion was really necessary, but us being us, I knew we needed to actually say the words, and one day soon, we would.

  I was relieved that our disclosure was out of the way and that we’d survived it all unscathed. Well, not entirely, but we were still intact and that was as good a sign as any. We still wanted us, and we were on the right track to get there. We were being honest and re-establishing our trust…both steps that strengthened Aiden’s resolve to secure our future.

  As the days rolled by and we basked in the joy of our newly formed family, Aiden and I established new routines. He kept busy with his foundations, and I was at home with Lyric while still bringing myself up to speed with RPH. It was uneventful in terms of family drama, and we couldn’t have been happier.

  We both felt strongly about moving back to Boston to place some distance between ourselves and his family, so I was looking forward to that. Aiden was typically out of the house every morning before or just as I was waking up. This morning, I’d overheard him on the phone, but I was half asleep at the time. From the sound of it, it had something to do with Raine Industries. He’d mentioned something about a necessary evil and making permanent changes. When he noticed I was listening, he lowered his voice and left the room. I’d started to doze off after that, but I was curious about the conversation and made a mental note to ask him what was going on. I hoped I was wrong and that it wasn’t anything involving that damned company, because I was dead set against him getting pulled in any deeper than he currently was.

  * * *

  It was a little after six o’clock when the doorbell rang. I dropped the RPH papers on the desk and headed to the foyer. I opened the door without asking who it was and was shocked to see a member of the Raine family smiling at me.

  “Connor. This is unexpected,” I said.

  “I apologize for dropping by unannounced, but I was hoping for a few minutes of your time.”

  What could he possibly want to speak with me about? “Come in.” I stepped aside to let him pass.

  “I see you’re somewhat confounded by my request,” Connor said.

  “You could say that.” I motioned for him to have a seat once we’d reached the living room. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Yes, scotch if you have it.”

  I walked toward the bar and considered the only reason Connor would be here—Raine Industries. I hoped Aiden wouldn’t be long, because I didn’t want to get mixed up with the two of them and their constant infighting.

  “Here you go,” I said, and passed the glass to Connor.

  “Thank you, Aria.” He studied me for a quick second and then took a sip.

  I sat opposite him and waited for him to explain his visit.

  “So, let me cut to the chase.”

  “Please.”

  “I was hoping you could tell me what my son is up to.”

  “That statement could yield a multitude of answers, so maybe a little more information could help me out here.”

  “In regard to my company.”

  “As far as I know, he’s out. But you already know that,” I replied.

  “It seems I don’t know as much as I should when it comes to Aiden these days,” he said.

  What the hell was going on now? I thought back to what I’d overheard this morning. Had Aiden really lowered his voice to avoid waking me, or was it to conceal his conversation? I did have my suspicions, but no way would I tell Connor that, not that I had very much to go on anyway. “I don’t think I follow you.”

  Connor eyed me, a suspicious glint in his eyes. “And here I thought we were all trying to make amends. Dishonesty doesn’t suit you, Aria.”

  “And I suppose you going behind Aiden’s back to pump me for information is more suitable?”

  “You are quite the feisty one. I can see why Aiden is so taken with you. You challenge him.”

  “I’m not trying to be feisty or challenging. I’m just being me.”

  “How’s my grandson? You know Sienna phoned Aiden to see if we could take him out this weekend,” he said, changing the subject.

  “No. I wasn’t aware of that.”

  “Perhaps Aiden forgot to mention it.”

  “Possibly.” Or maybe he didn’t mention it because he knew we both would say no.

  “I’m sure Aiden has told you some not-so-flattering stories about our family, more specifically me. And like him, I’m sure you won’t fully understand my position, so I’m not asking for that. What I am asking for is information I can use to stop Aiden from making a very foolish mistake.”

  “Connor, I’ve told you. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but whatever’s going on, or whatever you think is going on, is none of my business. If you feel that someone else can clue you in, I suggest you go to that person.”

  Connor sipped the scotch and then continued his inquisition. “You’re loyal to the man you love. I admire that.”

  “Then I’d better be careful. From what I’ve seen, the people you admire don’t fare too well.”

  He chuckled and reclined in his seat. “My, my. Your humor is quite refreshing. You know, I’m rather pleased you and my son have reconciled.”

  I knew Connor felt I was the reason Aiden was no longer his henchman, so his words were as insincere as the smile he was flashing at me. “Are you?”

  “Yes. And I’d hate to see anything halt that.”

  The mixed messages and his attempts to scare me were pissing me off. “I’m sure you don’t mean that as a threat, but it sure sounded like one.”

  “Of course not, Aria. That would be unwise—Aiden would have my head. That was simply a case of incorrect word choice.”

  “In that case, what did you mean?”

  “I will not lose my son, Aria.” Connor’s voice was cold.

  “I’m not the person you should be approaching. It’s your son.”

  “Could it be that you really don’t know what he’s up to? Maybe I was foolish to think Aiden would be open with you.”

  “He is open with me. Why would you think anything different?”

  “So, do you think he’s told you everything you need to know?”

  “About what?”

  “I should not have asked that. I’m sure you already know he’ll always keep certain information to himself.”

  “Just what are you trying to say?” I asked.

  “Aria, you can’t possibly think Aiden will ever tell you everything, can you? This family, just like any family, has secrets. And from what I’ve seen Aiden only lets you in on them after you’ve stumbled across them yourself.”

  “Why are you doing this? You were the only one who accepted me when Aiden first learned of Lyric, but you’ve done a complete one-eighty.”

  “I disagree—nothing’s changed in that regard. When you arrived with Lyric, I offered my complete acceptance and support. And despite the tension that surrounded your return, everything with the Raines was falling into place, but then Nadia lost control of her faculties and disrupted the delicate balance. And as a result, my son has rejected the role he was to assume at R.I.”

  “Of course, it always comes back to the damned company.”

  “That damned company, as you call it, is my life’s work. It’s what I dreamed of passing on to my children. It’s a tradition—a legacy I want to pass on to my grandchildren.”

  “And let me guess…you figure the only way to get Aiden back is for me to persuade him, or for me to just break up with him. Is that what you’re saying?”

  He tossed me a casual look, although this little conversation was anything but. “What
I’m saying, Aria, is I don’t think it’s beneficial for your recently renewed relationship to be tested so soon. Perhaps you should make Aiden aware of that.”

  Whatever Aiden and Connor had going on now, I wanted no part of it. “Connor, I have to get Lyric bathed and ready for bed. I’m sure you can show yourself out.” I placed my drink on the table and stood to leave. “And by the way, I resent you bringing this to me. I’ll make sure Aiden is aware of that.”

  * * *

  I’d fallen asleep before Aiden came home. The next morning, I awoke to find him getting dressed.

  “A suit?” I asked.

  “Do you object? I thought you liked me in a suit.”

  My eyes glided over him. “No objections here.” I actually loved seeing him in his perfectly tailored business attire. It enhanced his muscular, lean build, and it accentuated the dominance that drew me to him the first time I’d seen him. He was looking in the mirror adjusting his tie, but stopped when he saw I was still watching him.

  “What is it, Aria?”

  “Nothing. It’s just that you don’t wear them anymore since leaving R.I.”

  He pulled the collar over his tie and then turned toward me. “You’ve seen me in suits more than you have out of them. Well, maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration,” he added, with a smirk.

  “True, but not very much lately. Well…not at all actually. What’s the special occasion?”

  “Since when did you start analyzing my clothing choices?”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.” I sat up in bed and rested on my elbows. “And why are you so freaking defensive?”

  “I’m meeting with some investors.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s all you had to say, Mr. Elusive. So maybe we can meet for lunch,” I suggested.

  “I don’t think so. I have a very full day.”

  “And you can’t manage to squeeze me in?”

  “Not today, Aria.”

  I studied him as the conversation with his father echoed in my head. “I don’t think the charity work is as fulfilling as you’d thought it would be. Maybe you should work with me at RPH?”

  “I have to admit, I’m getting a little restless, and as much as I’d enjoy the perks of working with you again, RPH is not the big fish I’d like to catch.”