The Demon Inside Me

by Christopher Nelson

  "You look different," I said. "I don't think I've seen you with hair this short before."

  She reached up. Her golden hair hung loose just above her shoulders, having lost at least three or four inches of its length. It also looked a little lighter than before. "Shut up, demon. I don't want to hear your shit."

  "I wasn't giving you shit!"

  "You were going to comment on how bad it looks."

  "I was not!"

  Caleb was already reclining on my couch, a smirk curving across his face. "Anna's a little annoyed with the world today," he said.

  Tink pushed me out of the way and sunk down into her favored chair. "Shut up, Caleb."

  I exchanged glances with Hikari. "Lover's quarrel?" I whispered.

  "Ask me," Tink snapped.

  "You heard that?"

  "I'm not deaf."

  "Why are you such an angry little fairy today, Tinkerbell?"

  "Haven't I told you not to call me that at least a hundred thousand times by now?"

  Hikari snickered and walked into the kitchen. I heard plastic crinkle as she started to get snacks out. I walked over the couch and sat opposite Caleb, who was already working his way through his first bottle. The angel could certainly hold his alcohol, which I had found out much to my chagrin after a poorly timed bet a couple of months back. "So, what's the story?" I asked Tink.

  She looked like she wanted to break something, preferably me, but then her anger seemed to bleed out. "Just bullshit at the conclave meeting today."

  "I thought the rebuilding was going well?"

  "It is and it isn't," she said. Hikari had told me that it was going well enough, but slow due to all the talent that Deshavin had murdered. Tink obviously felt otherwise. "I'm just annoyed because my promotion to adept hasn't been approved yet."

  "Is that all?"

  "It's all because of Rashid," she snapped. "Asshole doesn't accept the fact that I jumped to the top of the journey ranks faster than he did. Since he's the highest ranked survivor, he has an absurd amount of influence. Keeps blocking me."

  I heard a whisper in my ear and looked up. Hikari stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a tiny drop of blood standing red on her fingertip. "Her attitude rubs a lot of people the wrong way," she whispered, magic bringing her words to my ear only. "Julian and Chrissy don't think she's ready yet either."

  I nodded and she casually wiped her finger off on a napkin before joining us and spreading snacks across the table. "So why is Rashid blocking you?" I asked.

  "He says I'm not ready for the weight of authority."

  "Well, you are pretty small," I said. "No one wants you to get crushed."

  "You're a funny demon. Funny looking. Like a winged monkey."

  Hikari pushed a bowl of chips toward Tink and flopped down on the couch between me and Caleb. "You know, you're being pretty bitchy, Anna."

  Tink glared at her, but didn't say anything, simply grabbed a handful of chips. She rarely talked back to Hikari. I didn't know why, but I suspected Hikari had pulled her aside one day and made a few pointed comments. She had a certain way with words.

  "It also annoys me how slow the apprentices are coming along," Tink said, changing the direction of her complaints. "I know none of us were that slow when I was an apprentice."

  "Blame Deshavin," I suggested.

  "I blame you."

  "Of course you would."

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  Caleb leaned forward. "So, how's the new job working out, Hikari?"

  Hikari leaned forward as well. The two of them effectively cut eye contact between Tink and me. "I'm not a big fan of night shifts, but it pays well enough. Still looking for something with consistent hours, though. Did that lead you have ever pan out?"

  "Sorry. They have a hiring freeze. They said try again in the fall."

  "Damn."

  "I'm still surprised you took such a terrible job," Tink said. "Don't you get all sorts of freaks late at night at a gas station?"

  "Sure," she replied. "But they don't bother me. If they try anything funny, funny things happen to them. The last guy who tried to expose himself found out that he was missing something important. Maybe the most important part."

  "You didn't."

  "I didn't, but he thought it was missing. The expression on his face was priceless. Caught on the security camera, too. I asked for a copy, but they didn't give it to me."

  I snickered, then wiped my face clean when she glanced over at me. She was a little sensitive about her current job, but did a good job of hiding it. It covered her half of the rent and then a little on top, but she was relying on me for many things. I didn't mind. I was making enough to support both of us. The more she brought in, the more we could save, and the sooner we could move out.

  "Becky coming tonight?" Caleb asked.

  "She's stuck at a job," I said.

  "A real job?"

  "I didn't ask." Becky still didn't tell me, and Lionel never told me anything about what she did when she disappeared for days at a time. At least she hadn't shown up at my door with any unnecessary bullet holes.

  "She doesn't invite you out on her little excursions?" Tink asked.

  "I get the feeling she doesn't think it'd be fair."

  "She does have that sort of personality, doesn't she?"

  "That's why she didn't join the conclave in the end."

  Tink snorted. "That disappointed me. She has enough talent to make apprentice. More talent than most of the current crop."

  Conversation turned to lighter topics for a while, then after a couple of trips to the kitchen and one to the bathroom, Tink finally asked me a question on a topic I didn't want to think about. "So, what's up with the Gates? Heard anything from your House?"

  I shook my head. "Situation's slowly unraveling."

  "How so?"

  "The Choir refuses to deal with us. Their people show up, stand their shifts, then leave. Most of the Houses don't really give a shit, but Leviathan's already got a complaint in with the Consortium and the Syndicate. House Amon's also made their displeasure with the situation known."

  "Why don't the angels lighten up?"

  I looked over at Caleb. "Ask him."

  Caleb winced, finished his beer, set it down on the coffee table. "Well, think of it this way. Why do you still call Isaiah a demon?"

  "Because he is one," she said promptly.

  "And you don't have too many good feelings toward demons, right?"

  "Right."

  "How do you think the Choir feels? Five hundred years of tension building up." He shrugged. "With that hit by Belphagor a few months back, and then more recent events, the Choir is almost uniformly unhappy about the situation."

  "And since the Choir tends to strong groupthink, it reinforces itself," I added.

  "Watch it, now."

  "It's true, though," I said. "Get individual angels away from the mass and they can be decent, as present company shows."

  Caleb picked up his empty bottle and raised it to me. "And individual demons, removed from their Houses, are less obnoxious. Present company excluded, of course."

  I raised my bottle to him. "It's a gift."

  "So what are the imps and archons doing about it?" Tink asked.

  "Last I heard, not much," I said. "There's nothing in the Pact that prevents us from being assholes to each other. They came down hard on the skirmish, though."

  "Skirmish?" Caleb and Tink asked at the same time.

  "That's why Leviathan's so pissed," I said. "I guess their people were getting a little complacent. The Choir sent someone over to complain. Leviathan sent him back with bruises. The Choir response was a little over the top. The imps and archons reacted quickly, but not quickly enough. One demon dead, several injured. The Choir came out substantially better off."

  Caleb ran his hand through his hair. "Not good," he said.

  "Not at all."

  "What about Lucifer?" Tink asked.

  "Good question."


  "Why?"

  I didn't like what was going on. It made me nervous. Paranoid. I hadn't told anyone else, not even Hikari, because I didn't want anyone to get worried. I could do enough worrying for everyone. "They haven't showed up for their last two shifts."

  "What?"

  "We rotate weekly," I said. "Each House contributes for a week, so every seven weeks. Long enough between shifts to not drain House resources, short enough shifts that the poor souls at the Gates don't go insane with boredom. When Belphagor goes off shift, Lucifer's supposed to come on, but for the past couple rotations, they haven't. We've just moved the schedule up, but no one's happy about it. Not the other Houses, not the Choir, not the imps and archons."

  "They're planning something," Tink said. "That son of a bitch Azriphel is up to something. I knew I should have capped his ass that day when I had a chance."

  "You wouldn't have had a chance without a bit of hellfire," I said.

  "Maybe, maybe not," she said. "But I should have taken the shot. Damn."

  "But didn't he agree to drop his plan to open the Gates?" Caleb asked.

  "He did," I said. "But he didn't agree to not make new plans."

  "Shit," Caleb said.

  "We've got to do something, then!" Tink said. "Can't we tell the Chairman or Prince Opheran? Make them stop whatever they're doing?"

  "That's exactly the problem," I said. "We don't have any proof they're doing anything. They don't respond to inquiries anymore, not even to the Consortium directly. Whatever they're doing, they're keeping it quiet. They have to, otherwise they'd be in breach of the Pact."

  "So-"

  "Without any proof," I said, cutting Tink off, "we've got nothing to go on."

  "We'll just have to find some proof," she snapped.

  "Good luck with that," I said. "If the Consortium can't prove anything, how do you think we're going to find anything? It's not as if we can drive back to that building where the trial was, knock on the door, and ask if Azzy is available for a consultation. Even if we do find them, they'd just kill us out of hand, vendetta or justification or not. Who'd come looking for us?"

  "Becky," Tink pointed out. "Rashid. The conclave. Your prince, your mom."

  "And they'd be too late, and we'd still be dead," I pointed back.

  "You're too worried about this dying thing."

  "Life's too short to waste time dying."

  She stared at me for a moment. "That doesn't make any sense at all."

  "It sounded better in my head," I admitted.

  "Zay," Hikari said. "What do you think they're up to?"

  I spread my hands helplessly. "I have ideas, but no proof."

  "You've had good ideas in the past," Caleb said. "Let's hear them. If we can build on them and come up with something, maybe we can talk someone else into listening."

  "I've got two general ideas," I said. "The first one is that they're waiting for something to happen so that they can take advantage of it. Pulling out is a catalyst. If a significant number of the Houses pull out, the entire agreement is going to collapse. Amon and Leviathan joining them would break everything down. If the Host breaks the agreement, the Choir will walk as well, and then the Consortium and Syndicate will either punish everyone for breaking the Pact, or revoke the amendments. I'll give you one guess as to which one is more likely."

  "And with the Pact amendment revoked, that means the Gates are undefended again," Caleb said. "Letting them have free reign to assault them."

  "Not to mention, Azriphel could demand his vendetta against me be reviewed and made legitimate," I said. "If he kills me, he'll kill you too, Tink."

  "Or we'll kill him," she snapped.

  "I wouldn't count on it," I said. "He's seen what we've done now. Do you want to try shielding against that sort of attack?"

  That thought even gave her pause. While she considered it, Hikari jumped back in. "And once our group is out of the picture, they win, because no one else is concerned about what will happen."

  "Except for the imps and archons," Caleb pointed out.

  "Against a House of full demons, they wouldn't stand a chance," I said. "I mean, they can fight, and they can use their influence over all the typical services to pressure them, but when push comes to shove, they'd lose. Not to mention, if it gets to that point, it could be an alliance of multiple Houses. The Consortium won't stand against a united Host."

  "What's the second idea?" Caleb asked.

  I shook my head. "It's similar to the first one, except Lucifer isn't waiting for something to happen. They're preparing to hit us first."

  "That doesn't sound good," Hikari said. She leaned back and crossed her arms. "In fact, that scares me."

  "It's good reason to be scared," I said. "I've already asked the Consortium to keep an eye out for that sort of thing, but it's not likely that Lucifer will telegraph their move ahead of time. I also took it to Opheran. He thinks it's likely too."

  "That's good, isn't it?" Tink asked.

  "Good in that he agrees it's likely, but the House's hands are tied," I said. "Asmodeus can't move openly without starting a civil war, and they'd be on the losing side."

  "So we're bait," Caleb said quietly.

  I nodded. "It's starting to feel familiar."

  "Zay," Hikari said, a tiny tremor in her voice. I glanced over at her. "If you were on House Lucifer's side, what would you do?"

  "Divide and conquer," I said. "Our strength is that we're connected to a strong group of mages, plus Caleb's a theoretical link to the Choir. Of course, using that connection would not go over very well. High treason comes to mind. Again."

  "So you'd attack the mages first, wouldn't you?" she asked.

  "It would make sense," I said.

  "And the mages you would attack," she said, her voice shaky, "would be strong mages, especially those with connections to an even stronger group. Sever those bonds. Right?"

  "You're too close to me to be vulnerable-"

  "Not me!" Caleb and Tink were staring at her, and so was I. I felt a tingle run down my spine. "Not me, Zay!"

  "Chrissy and Julian," I said.

  "They were supposed to be here by now."

  "Shit." I pulled my phone out and called Julian. "Pick up. Pick up, you wide bastard."

  The phone clicked. I waited for him to say something. Julian didn't say something. He didn't say anything. "You're late, halfbreed."

  "Where's Julian?"

  "Is that his name?"

  "Where is he?"

  "He is losing weight." The voice on the other end, so familiar, so hateful. "You'd agree, wouldn't you, that he was in need of some exercise?"

  I ground my teeth and stood up. "Answer me."

  "Would you like to speak with him?"

  "Yes."

  There was a pause, and then I heard heavy breathing. "Sorry," Julian said. Pain was evident in his voice. "Sorry, Zay. For everything."

  "Where are you?"

  "Home," he said. "Never made it out the door. Got distracted before we left. Tell Hikari I'm sorry."

  "What's going on?" I demanded. "What happened? Where's Chrissy?"

  "Gone."

  "What?"

  "Don't know," he said. "Stormed our apartment. Grabbed her, dragged her away. Screaming, all I heard was her scream, and then stop."

  "Julian-"

  "They took my legs." He laughed. "Sorry. In shock. Below the knees, gone."

  I pounded my fist against my thigh. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and squeeze. I didn't turn around to see who it was. "Can you hold on until we get there?"

  "You kidding me?"

  "No, I'm serious."

  "That's what they want," he said. "Don't bother. Look. Sorry. Never liked you much. Been an ass. Did stupid shit. Had sex in your bed. And on your couch. Sorry, Zay. Sort of."

  "Just hold on-"

  Anything I had left to say was cut off by a gasp, then a gurgle. I flinched. There was no scream, no words, nothing. He was there, and now he was gone. "Julian," I
said. I didn't expect an answer.

  "An interesting choice of last words, wasn't it?"

  "You fucking-"

  "I fail to hear the proper respect in your voice, halfbreed."

  "You're not going to get away with this," I said.

  He only laughed, and the phone went dead. I let my hand drop to my side, clenching my fist around the phone. The grip on my shoulder tightened, painfully. I slowly turned. Hikari stood there, her eyes searching my face. I couldn't hide it, couldn't say anything. Just shook my head. She bowed her head and stepped into me. I put an arm around her and looked over at Caleb. His expression was cold fury.

  "That was Azriphel," Tink stated.

  I nodded. "That was Azriphel."

  "I'm going to kill him."

  "I'm going to help you."

  Hikari sobbed silently against my chest. I held her closer, and even as I did so, the phone in my hand rang. I lifted it to my ear, picked up. Didn't say anything.

  "Isaiah."

  "My Prince."

  "We've just received word that Amon and Leviathan have withdrawn from the honor guard. They're demanding the amendments to the Pact be withdrawn," he said.

  "Lucifer is moving," I said. "They just killed two members of the Northeastern Regional Conclave."

  "They're moving? No shit they're moving! Where are you?"

  "My apartment?"

  "What in the most unholy hell are you doing there?"

  I nearly dropped the phone. Opheran never got that loud. "What?"

  "Amon and Leviathan are just a cover to keep everything in chaos," he said. "What do you think their real target is, Isaiah? Who?"

  I slapped the phone closed and looked around the room. "Get moving! We're getting the hell out of here before it's too late."

  "It's already too late," Caleb said. He was on his feet, eyes silver and shining, his sword popping into existence in his hand.

  My poor front door, only months old, blew open.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Christina stood framed in the doorway, hand outstretched, streaks of blood striped across her palm. Caleb's sword faltered, but then the point rose back in line with her heart. She didn't flinch. She didn't react at all. "This is a problem," he said.