For Love or Country

by Jesse Jordan

  I give Tammy a high five, and sit down, laughing. It's a lot better than worrying about Cade Edwards. “So... do you think?”

  Tammy shrugs. “After nine months here, my gaydar is so on the fritz I can't tell. But hey, even if she isn't, a hot chick wants to wrestle with me and let me roll around with her. Uh, yeah, awesome time!”

  We just girl talk for a while, happy as we've got a week now with no upperclassmen. It’s just a chance to let off some stress and breathe again, to get comfortable with the new reality of the Corps. When lunch comes, we relax going out, where I see Simon, reminding me of what I told the Captain. I do hope it's just a misunderstanding, but I'm ready to live with it either way.

  “Hey Ashley?”

  I'm heading up the stairs, but Simon's coming down. It's the week after Spring Break, and he's looking better than even the week before. “What's up, Simon?”

  “Well, I was just heading out to do some free running in the woods. Wanna join me?”

  I think about it, and grin. “Sure. To be honest, going back to normal workouts has kinda gotten boring. Gimmie ten minutes to change into my shorts and long sleeve shirt?”

  “Okay, I'll stretch,” Simon says, smiling. There's more than just a desire for a good run in that smile, and I'm blushing as I pull my shorts on. When I get downstairs, Simon's stretching, his compression shorts stark white underneath his shorts. I noticed that last semester too, and I've wondered why a few times. It's not common among cadets, even if it is allowed under our PT gear. “Hey, you ready?”

  “As long as you don't mind walking up towards the woods instead of just running off like a deer, I'm a bit stiff after classes,” I tell him, swinging my arms. “How was your day?”

  “Good. I got my summer assignment, I get to do CTLT with an Aviation unit. Four weeks of shadowing an actual Aviation unit, that's sweet,” Simon says, chuckling. “How about you?”

  “Not bad at all,” I reply, bouncing some on my toes. I've always had the tightest calves and ankles, it's the last part of me to loosen up. Thankfully Simon agrees with my idea of walking, and after we pass Arvin and start heading up the hill towards the pond, I'm loose. “Do you mind if I ask you a question? For a friend.”

  “Sure,” he says as we reach the dirt trail and start off. “Figure we can take this for a quarter mile, then cut up the side of the mountain. If you're up for it, there's even some rocks we can climb.”

  “We'll see,” I answer, enjoying the warm sun and the feeling of the nature surrounding us. “Anyway, Cara King....”

  “Ah, I see where this is going,” Simon says with a laugh. “Your bestie's crush isn't exactly top secret to me.”

  “Really?” I ask, shocked. “Nobody ever said anything to me about her.”

  “That's because I'm the only other person she's said anything about her sexuality to,” Simon replies. “She came out to me in Beast. I'll tell you, I think your friendship is the whole reason she's been able to make it this far. Now, as to your question, Cara and I have never discussed her love life. She's quite honestly like a total mystery when it comes to that side of her around other cadets. That picture in her room is her brother, by the way. But if you're asking if Cara's hanging out with Tammy because she's interested, I have no clue at all.”

  “Okay. Thanks. Just... I'm not into Tammy that way, but I do like her, you know? It's like...” I start to say, but I should have been keeping my eyes on the trail. Maybe it's a tree branch, or maybe it's a rock, but I trip over something and go sprawling, tumbling to the dirt hard. The impact on my shoulder and chest hurts bad, but I can't say anything as the wind is driven out of my lungs and pain makes everything go white.

  “Ashley?” Simon says, and I realize he's kneeling down next to me in the leaves and dirt of the trail, his face filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

  “Y... yeah,” I groan, trying to sit up but instead just floundering. “Little help?”

  Simon puts his hands on my shoulders and carefully helps me to a sitting position, sitting down next to me. “That looked like it sucked.”

  “Pretty much,” I agree, stopping when Simon brings his hand up, brushing my hair. I see a leaf tumble to the ground, but his hand stays there, and I like it. We both go quiet, and I see the look in his eyes, we've exchanged them during Sandhurst practice, I know that he thinks I'm attractive. Still, we're in a no PDA area of post, and... and... “Simon....”

  I want to say no, not here, but he doesn't give me a chance, pulling me in and kissing me. I resist at first, but maybe only a half second before I'm kissing him back, his lips and tongue invading my mouth and tasting me. He's aggressive, but not disrespectful, and when I kiss him back, he hums happily, both of us just leaning into each other, the kiss going from hard to soft, to the point that when we part, we're both smiling, and looking for another. “I've wanted to do that since... well, since about September.”

  I hum, nodding. “I could tell, maybe. I didn't think you'd make a move, though. Thought that Mitchell was more your type.”

  Simon laughs, then blushes. “She and I... we used to fool around, so you're not that far off. But I haven't been fooling around in a while now. Someone... you've been on my mind too much to fool around. I'm a player, but not a dog.”

  I cup his cheek, and nod. “Okay. I can live with that.”

  Simon's hand drops from my cheek to the top of my right breast, brushing away a little more dirt but at the same time, the way his fingers mold and caress me, I'm biting my lip, trying not to groan as my nipple becomes so tender and I want him here, in these woods, right now. “Simon... please....”

  He stops, shaking his head. “No, not yet, Ash. I... I don't know why, but I don't want to just play with you. Uh, I know this is a weird thing to ask here on this trail, but would you like to go out with me? On like, well, what passes for a date in the Corps?”

  The humor of it all makes me laugh, and I nod, taking his hand from my breast. “Tell you what. Friday night, we can go down to Grant Hall and share a pizza, and then after that... well, I've heard that Flirty Walk is quite nice in the moonlight. You're paying though, I'm just a Plebe still, they don't pay me jack squat.”

  “I like that idea,” Simon says, getting to his feet and helping me up. “If you don't mind though, how about a walk together for now? You've got a scratch on your forehead, you might want to clean that later.”

  I touch my forehead, and wince a little. “Yeah, it's not too bad though I think. You've got a....”

  Simon stops and raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Go ahead. I know that I've got a scar on my face. I'm not ashamed of it, it's not like I caused it.”

  I blush and nod, then laugh. “Okay. And... I guess that means get comfortable with my boobs.”

  Simon laughs again, and reaches over, taking my hand. “I know you've gotten some flack for them. Kinda like my face, we can't exactly get rid of them.”

  “Well, I could have them cut off, you know,” I tease, laughing. “No, I get more flack for my bitch face, at least from the other Plebes. I know I have one, can't help it. I am smiling, you know.”

  “I know. And I saw that it was RBF way back in Beast. Even when you sleep, you've got it. Not that I mind, I think you've got a pretty face.”

  I stop, pulling Simon to a stop too. “Say it again.”

  “What?” he asks, surprised. “That I think you've got a pretty face?”

  I stand on my tiptoes and give him a kiss, smiling. “Yeah. I like being a cadet, but it's nice to feel like a woman, too. Kinda hard most days.”

  “You are both to me,” Simon says. “But right now... yeah, I like you being a girl. Sandhurst, I like you being that kickass cadet. We'll figure out the balance.”

  Simon

  Watching the Yearlings come in from Camp Buckner, ready to start their second year at the Academy, I have to admit that I'm looking for one in particular, the long red ponytail that Ash wears when she's in her PT gear. Instead of marching in this year, the Superintendent decid
ed that the Yearlings would run in from Buckner.

  I'm chilling out in my room, looking out towards Central Area, most of my stuff put away after getting in two days ago. It's the start of my last year at the Academy, and I'm feeling good.

  “Hey Simon, she's not going to be back any time soon,” Cara King says, sticking her head in my room. She's the Company Commander this semester, and I'm the Executive Officer, so my room is right next to hers, very convenient.

  “Hey C-K, what're you talking about?” I ask innocently. “Besides, you're looking for a friend to come in, too.”

  Cara laughs and sits down in the other chair, my roommate isn't in yet, he's out at Beast and won't be in for two days. “Come off it, Simon. You and Carlyle were practically joined at the hip for two months last year, and from what I hear from a friend who was her CO out at Buckner, you two were swapping phone calls on the regular.”

  I shrug, admitting it. “Okay, okay, we're a confirmed couple. The player isn't playing any more. What about you?”

  Cara's eyebrows knit, then relax. She's kept herself under wraps for a very long time, and I wonder if she's letting me in to see something nobody else knows. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  I nod, not pushing it. I don't know what it's like being a woman at the Academy, but I do know that it's stressful. “You know Cara, Tammy looks up to you as well as likes you.”

  “I know. And I'll let you in on a secret, I kinda like the attention. She doesn't overlook me like most people do around here,” Cara says, smiling wistfully. “Half of the Corps dismisses me because I have a vagina, while the other half and the TAC department wants me to be some sort of transsexual MacArthur. With Tammy, I get to be Cara.”

  I hum, nodding. “And Ring Weekend? You have plans for that?”

  “Why? I thought you had a date?” Cara teases, and I know she isn't going to let me in any more. That's okay, I don't need to pry. “Unless you think you can finagle some sort of three way with me and Carlyle.”

  I shake my head, laughing. “No plans there, Cara. Actually, Ash and I... well....”

  Cara stops, and gives me a surprised look. “Simon Lancaster, you are one hundred percent in love with this girl, aren't you? Admit it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I knew your rep even when I was in G-2 and you were in H-3 as Plebes and Yuks. We girls talk, you know. If you had an itch that needed scratched, and you didn't mind not having your emotions mixed up, talk to Simon Lancaster. You even tagged my squad leader, if you didn't know. Ronnie Mitchell.”

  I nod, humming. “Actually, Ronnie was my last fun time before I just... well, I started seeing Ashley for who she is. I didn't know you knew Ronnie.”

  “She and I weren't buddies, probably why. I respected her, she did it her way, and she let me do it mine as one of the Yuks in her squad. Still, point stands... the player ain't playing any more.” Cara looks past me, and a smile comes to her face. “Well, they let the Yuks outta formation early. Look who I see.”

  I turn around in my chair and my heart jumps, I admit it, to see Ashley crossing Central Area, and I'm sticking my head out the window of my room. “Ashley!”

  She waves, and while she looks tired, she's smiling when she comes up the steps to me. We stop, a foot apart, and I feel the frustration of being part of a cadet relationship. Inside cadet area, I can't even hold my girlfriend's hand. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she replies, the sweat glistening off her skin like droplets of diamond. Her PT shirt is dark and clinging to her skin, and her hair is nearly blackish red, it's been a warm day today. She’s absolutely beautiful. We finish our walk up the stairs, and head down the hallway towards my room. “How're you doing?”

  “Good,” I tell her lamely, feeling shy until Cara laughs from behind us. I glance over, and she just shakes her head before pulling her head back and disappearing back into her room. “How about you have a seat and we can chill a little, then we'll start to get your stuff unpacked?”

  Ashley smiles and lets me lead her over to my footlocker, the cool metal feeling good on her legs I’m sure. “So you enjoyed CTLT?”

  “It was awesome. A Blackhawk unit, so not what I'd like, but it was still awesome. And I got to do quite a few ride alongs, the warrant officers were cool that way,” I admit. “But....”

  “But what?” Ashley asks, and I look over, embarrassed.

  “I missed you. I mean, I know you were at Buckner, and we talked a lot, but...”

  Ashley shuts me up by putting her hand on top of mine, and giving my fingers a squeeze. “I missed you too, Simon. You would have enjoyed watching me do the Recondo course. I kicked some ass.”

  “Really?” I ask, impressed again.

  “Best female time in my battalion,” Ashley says with a little excitement. “So thanks, Sandhurst boss.”

  I laugh. “I hope I'm more than that. Say, Cara reminded me... I haven't formally asked you to go to Ring Weekend with me. So... Ashley Carlyle, would you be my date for Ring Weekend?”

  Ashley hums happily, nodding. “I'd love to. First though, lets get my stuff unpacked from downstairs, and see where I'm staying.”

  “Oh, that's easy. I'm the XO you know, I got to assign rooms. You and Tammy are rooming together again, you can pick the room you want.”

  “Oh my God, sir! What a beautiful ring! What a crass mass of brass and glass! What a bold mold of rolled gold! What a cool jewel you got from your school! See how it sparkles and shines? It must have cost you a fortune! May I touch it, may I touch it please, sir!”

  The new Plebes mob us, reciting the traditional “Ring Poop” that they all do after we've gotten our class rings, another of the little petty games that lets us get through life at West Point. There's no way in hell I can avoid the Plebes, who get to harass us and make the Firsties all run around like idiots in order to avoid the next Plebe who's going to orgasmically expound over our rings. It lets everyone get a little steam out.

  I play along with the tradition, knowing that in a half hour all of the Plebes will be back at doing their Plebe stuff, while I'll be getting ready for the Ring Weekend Dinner. I'm already in my white uniform, prep won't be too damn hard, but still, I want to look good for tonight.

  “Okay, okay, enough!” I laugh as a fourth group of Plebes finishes. “I've got a dinner to get ready for!”

  In my room, Reggie Stroud, my roommate this semester, is already brushing his hair. “They let you off easy, man. They're still chasing Cara around Central Area last I saw, some of them are pretty fired up today.”

  “She'll outrun them,” I reply, wiping my forehead. “When's your date getting here?”

  “I'm meeting her in forty five,” Reggie says, glancing down at the clock we put next to our shared sink. “Is Ashley getting ready?”

  “She went to the ceremony, but stood in the sallyport so she could get a better view,” I said. “We walked back to the barracks together, but she peeled off, said she was going to let me run the smack gauntlet by myself. Besides, she's got her stuff ready, I'm sure. A lot less complicated than what your date has to choose from.”

  “True,” Reggie replies, taking out some hair spray and spritzing. I have no idea why a man with a cadet haircut feels the need for hairspray, his hair's an inch long on top. “Hey, anyone given you shit about taking her to the dinner and dance?”

  “You mean have I heard any comments about Firstie Brass, Yearling Ass?” I ask, and Reggie nods. He's a good guy, and it'll be a fun semester rooming with him. He's already been cool with Ashley hanging out in the room all the time when we're not studying. “Of course. Same joker in G-1 who called Ash 'JR' last year, actually. Had to really get on his ass. Thankfully, Captain Franklin was there and backed me up. I've talked with Ash about it, we don't really care. Besides, everyone in the Ironside knows they talk shit about Ash, and they'll have me and Cara on their ass. Cadet power might be play power, but still, XO and CO on your ass? Nobody wants that.”

  Reggie finally gets his h
air the way he wants, and puts his brush down, turning to me. “Want my opinion man? You won't hear a damn thing from any Ironside, not because of you or Cara, but because Ashley's got a lot of respect around here. The Firsties and Yuks know she held her own last year. Well, Lawton's hatin' on her, but that's because she got showed up. The Cows are cool, and the smacks... well, the smacks are smacks. But tonight, we'll just have some fun.”

  I hear the Plebes outside, Cara's decided that instead of them calling minutes, the minute callers will go around to the Firstie rooms and just give us a quick ten minute normal voice announcement. When Justino, Ashley's Plebe, knocks on our door, I'm ready. “We got it, Justino. Thanks.”

  “Huah sir,” he says, stepping back quickly and knocking on Cara's door. I grab my hat and glance in the mirror, nodding. “Okay Reg, how do I look?”

  “I'd kiss you,” Reggie jokes. “I'll see you at dinner.”

  I feel a little nervous going over to Ashley's room, but she meets me at the door, and I feel my heart stop. The 'dress mess' uniform that female cadets are issued is certainly old fashioned, but there's a certain classiness to it, and Ashley looks beautiful in it, her body not highlighted but still evident underneath the jacket, and the full skirt looks nice. “Wow.”

  “Wow yourself, Mr. India Whites,” she says, smiling. “You ready?”

  Since this is a 'social' occasion, I'm allowed to actually escort Ashley down the steps and across Central Area, with her slipping her hand through the crook of my left elbow as we walk towards the Mess Hall. I hear a few whistles, but I ignore them, I know it's just part of the Plebes letting off tension. Most of them haven't seen a dressed up woman in two months, and they're sort of half tamed monkeys right now. Besides, let them. I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend on my arm, regardless of if she’s uniform or a civilian dress.

  “The natives are restless,” Ashley jokes as we mount the steps to the mess hall. “Guess it's my perfume?”