Always Close to Home

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Warmth crept up Lydia’s neck. Did Milton know that she had asked Uncle Henry to hire him for the fall? But how could he? Surely Uncle Henry had kept his mouth shut about the matter. She peeked up at Milton. Thankfully he seemed lost in his own thoughts.

  “Well, I’d best be going,” she said.

  Milton stopped her with a touch on her arm. “I’m glad you’re coming this fall to help out, Lydia. Your uncle’s been running me like a slave driver.”

  Lydia took a deep breath. “I’m sure you’re teasing me. Uncle Henry’s not a slave driver.”

  When she glanced up at his face, Milton’s grin was all the answer she needed.

  “I’ll be seeing you then,” he said. Then he was gone into the crowd.

  Lydia caught her breath. Did Milton suspect that she was in love with him? Did he feel some of what she felt? Did his heart beat faster at the thought of the fall spent together on Uncle Henry’s farm each day? Milton must, but she couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t like John, and she wasn’t like Laura. Not if being in love meant sneaking kisses behind a shed in the middle of a barn-raising. Now that was in love! But she must not compare herself with Laura or Milton with John. Everyone was different. Hopefully she would never have to go through what Laura had gone through this morning.

  And what about Milton’s question regarding Laura and John? Would Laura still accept John as her husband regardless of his injuries?

  Lydia shivered. Surely Laura would remain true to John regardless of how things turned out. That’s how Laura was, and Lydia, too, would stand beside Laura as a loyal twin.

  Lydia hurried back across the lawn. It was time she helped with the remainder of the work in the house before the day ended. She would drive home soon with the single buggy, since Mamm, Daett, and Laura were at the hospital. Mamm and Daett had gone to see to Laura.

  Nelson and Lester wouldn’t be home until almost dark as they helped complete the barn, so she would have supper ready for them. As she worked, she would think of this fall at Uncle Henry’s place, and the wunderbah door that had opened for her in the midst of today’s tragedy. She would pray and be thankful and find the courage to embrace the opportunity set before her.

  Chapter Seven

  The next morning Lydia awoke with a start. The clock by the dresser read a few minutes after five. Nelson and Lester would be up to begin the chores soon, and she should get up herself.

  At least she felt rested after yesterday’s turmoil. She had slept soundly all night and hadn’t heard anyone come in the house, but surely by now Daett and Mamm must be home with Laura.

  Lydia lit a kerosene lamp and dressed quickly before creeping across the dark hallway to crack open Laura’s bedroom door. She could see by the starlight that no one was under the quilt. So where was Laura? Was she still at the hospital? Were Mamm and Daett still there too?

  Lydia closed Laura’s bedroom door, retrieved her kerosene lamp, and made her way downstairs. Poor Laura! This could only mean one thing. John was seriously injured and Laura had stayed at the hospital while she had slept soundly here at home. Why hadn’t she felt her twin’s grief and been in prayer?

  “Forgive me, Lord, and please help us,” Lydia whispered. She approached her parents’ bedroom door and paused to listen, as the flickering flame of the lamp cast wild shadows on the walls. All remained silent in the bedroom. Mamm would have awakened by now, so no one had returned from the hospital. Lydia turned as the stairs behind her creaked and Nelson appeared with sleep-filled eyes.

  “They’re not back yet,” he muttered.

  “That must mean…” Lydia paused. “Oh, Nelson. What do you think is wrong? And I slept so soundly all night. How could I?”

  Nelson shrugged. “Don’t go beating yourself up. We didn’t know. They’ll send someone soon with information. Maybe they didn’t want us to worry.”

  As if in answer to Nelson’s hope, the headlights of a car bounced into the driveway.

  “There they are now,” Lydia said, hurrying into the kitchen to set the lamp on the table.

  Nelson grabbed his coat and bolted out through the washroom door. Lydia hesitated only a moment before she draped her shawl over her shoulders and followed Nelson. The air was brisk, but the dawn had begun to show in the sky. Mamm’s and Laura’s figures were huddled near the car as Daett spoke with the driver. Nelson stood a few feet away, his head bowed in silence. Lydia ran past him to embrace Laura.

  Laura fell into her arms, her voice trembling. “Oh, Lydia!”

  Lydia held her twin tight until the Englisha driver had backed up in the driveway and left.

  “It’s so awful,” Laura managed. “John is all—”

  “It’ll be a while before they know for sure how bad things are,” Mamm interrupted. “But it was time to come home.”

  “I didn’t want to!” Laura wailed. “John needed me.”

  “It’s for the best.” Mamm grasped Laura’s arm and steered her toward the house. “John isn’t conscious yet, and his parents are there. And don’t forget, you’re not his frau yet.”

  “But I’m his promised one,” Laura objected. “And it was all my fault. I told you this.”

  Mamm opened the front door with her hand still on Laura’s arm. Nelson took the chance to hurry off toward the barn. Lydia turned to follow Mamm when Daett’s voice stopped her. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get word back sooner. I hope you didn’t worry.”

  “I just woke up minutes ago,” Lydia said. “I was feeling quite badly about that. I know I should have been…”

  “This is just as well.” Daett’s smile was soft in the dim light. “There was nothing you could have done.”

  “So how is John?”

  “Not goot.” Daett’s gaze was fixed on the brightening horizon. “His back is broken and he has a serious concussion. He’s still unconscious. Poor Laura has been carrying on all night. I don’t understand why she thinks the accident was her fault. She won’t say why—or she can’t, I’m not sure which.”

  Lydia looked away. She knew part of the answer, and the other was easy to surmise now that Laura claimed she was John’s promised one. How like Laura to manipulate an engagement out of John right under the noses of the working men.

  “Do you know why?” Daett asked.

  “We don’t share the same brain,” Lydia said.

  But Daett wasn’t deceived. “Perhaps you’d best tell me, Lydia.”

  She took a deep breath. “Milton Beiler talked to me afterward. He told me that he heard that Laura was kissing John in secret only moments before he fell. Now Laura says she’s promised to John. Laura probably figures John was distracted when he fell. And she could be right.”

  “So that’s what’s going on.” Daett stared at the house where Mamm and Laura had vanished inside.

  “How bad is John?” Lydia asked. “I mean, really?”

  Daett sighed. “He will probably never walk again. But don’t tell Laura that. We shouldn’t destroy what little hope there is. You never know what happens after the doctors have done their thing.”

  “Can she still marry him if that’s true? Will you and Mamm let her?”

  Daett stroked his lengthy beard. “That’s a hard question, Lydia. I suppose the first thing we need to know is, would Laura still want to marry John?”

  “Oh, yah, she would,” Lydia said. “Out of guilt if nothing else. But she does love him very much.”

  Daett nodded. “That’s what I thought. Perhaps this is the Lord’s will for Laura.”

  “A crippled husband?”

  “Come.” Daett took Lydia’s arm and led the way toward the house. “Let us not decide things of which we are uncertain. It’s better to allow the Lord to light the path clearly before we make our choice.”

  Lydia pulled back from his touch. “I’ve decided I’m going to accept Uncle Henry’s offer to work for him.”

  “Now? In the middle of all this trouble?”

  Lydia met his gaze. “Yah. Am I wrong in going on with my plan
s?”

  Daett smiled. “I think the Lord has shed light on your path, so I would not discourage you. But…” Daett hesitated at the front porch step. “Your mamm is not well, Lydia. One of the nurses noticed her last night and had a doctor check her vital signs. They were not goot. Apparently she has not been well for some time, but she has said nothing.”

  Alarm filled Lydia’s voice. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “High blood pressure, for one thing. Beyond that, it’s hard to say. Your mamm is stubborn. She didn’t want to submit to any further tests.”

  “What can we do then?”

  “Just pray she’ll change her mind,” Daett said as he opened the front door. Laura looked up from where she was seated on the couch and tried to smile.

  Daett seated himself beside her. “Feeling any better now that you’re home?”

  Laura lowered her head. Daett gave Lydia a glance that said, I want to speak with her alone. Lydia hurried into the kitchen, where Mamm was busy with the breakfast preparations. Daett’s soft murmur came from the living room behind them as he spoke with Laura. Daett would help her sister through this crisis, Lydia told herself.

  “How was your night?” Mamm asked, her face drawn and weary.

  “I slept right through everything,” Lydia said. “But you…” Lydia stepped closer to touch Mamm’s arm. “Are you okay? Daett just told me about your health.”

  Mamm forced a laugh. “I’m the last person anyone should be worrying about right now, what with John lying in that hospital bed broken and bruised. I know the man will never walk again, even if the doctor tried to sound hopeful.”

  “You should have let a doctor put you through some tests,” Lydia said. “Maybe it will help to find out what’s wrong.”

  Mamm huffed. “I don’t want anyone poking and prodding me. What are they going to look for? The aches and pains of an old woman? That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. And high blood pressure? Of course I had high blood pressure last night. Anyone would have had high blood pressure under the circumstances.”

  “But something is wrong. It would be goot to know what, so the doctors can help,” Lydia urged.

  “There’s nothing wrong with me that a few hours’ sleep and a hard day’s work won’t fix. Now, help me with breakfast. Your sister won’t be worth much today. She’ll want to rush back to the hospital, but I’m having none of it. Laura is not staying with John unless one of us is with her. It’s not decent.”

  “But I think John asked Laura to marry him yesterday,” Lydia said.

  Mamm huffed again. “It doesn’t matter. Now, let’s get busy.”

  Lydia pulled out a pan to fry the bacon. Behind them Daett’s voice rose and fell in the living room, but Mamm didn’t seem to hear. Lydia opened the firebox to place several more sticks of wood on the fire. Mamm was silent, so Lydia left things as they were. She could explain later about her planned move to Uncle Henry’s place for the fall.

  A few moments later, Daett spoke from the kitchen doorway. “I’m leaving for the barn and the chores.” He turned to leave but then turned back and asked Mamm, “Do you have any idea why that Englisha nurse at the hospital seemed to know Teacher Nancy so well?”

  “Everyone knows Nancy,” Mamm responded. “She was just trying to make us feel comfortable with conversation about someone we both knew. That’s how the Englisha are.”

  Daett shrugged and left by the washroom door. Mamm stirred the pot of oatmeal in silence and then spoke out of the blue. “Did you know that your daett once dated Teacher Nancy before we were married?”

  Lydia nearly dropped the large fork she was using to stir the bacon. “Teacher Nancy? Daett?”

  Mamm frowned. “Forget I said that. Their relationship was a long time ago, and your daett is a decent man. A long sleepless night has befuddled me.”

  “Did Teacher Nancy come to the hospital?” Something didn’t make sense. Mamm wasn’t one to blurt out information at random.

  “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Mamm bent over to stare at the stove.

  “Mamm.” Lydia stepped closer. “What is wrong?”

  Mamm tried to smile. “Nothing is wrong. Just a backache from sitting in that chair all night. Don’t pay any attention to me.”

  Lydia turned back to the bacon pan, but her thoughts wouldn’t stop. “Tell me, Mamm,” she finally said. “I want to know about Nancy and Daett.”

  Mamm shrugged. “At one time Nancy was your daett’s steady girlfriend. Daett broke off the relationship, but he won’t talk about it, so I don’t know much.” She tried to smile again. “Not that I objected—or object now. Your daett was more than a decent catch for a girl like me.”

  Lydia put her arm around Mamm’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Mamm stood up straighter. “I’m fine. I don’t know why I brought this up. I guess I’m just thinking that Laura is going to want to marry John in spite of his condition. And there won’t be any talking her out of it. Let’s hope John has more sense than she does.”

  A soft footstep came into the kitchen and Laura spoke. “Yah, I will marry John. A promise is a promise.”

  Mamm stirred the oatmeal and didn’t answer.

  “I will!” Laura repeated. “And John will have me. Even after—”

  “It’s whether you will still have him,” Mamm said. She turned to face Laura. “That’s the question. You’re emotional right now and not in any shape to make such an important decision. Now, come help with breakfast.”

  “I’m not abandoning John,” Laura said as she sat down at the kitchen table. “Love is forever. That’s just the way it is.”

  “Couples break their engagements all the time,” Mamm said. “You wouldn’t be here if your daett hadn’t broken his.”

  Laura appeared befuddled, but Lydia wasn’t about to enlighten her twin now.

  Laura finally shrugged. “I know what my heart says. I’m sticking with John whatever his condition turns out to be.”

  The look on Mamm’s face said that the conversation was far from over. Lydia took a deep breath and changed the subject. “I’m leaving for Uncle Henry’s early next week. I spoke with him yesterday and with Daett this morning, and it’s decided.”

  Mamm looked at her for a long moment, but turned back to her oatmeal. That conversation wasn’t over either, Lydia knew. But she felt as sure about the matter as Laura apparently did about hers. How things had changed from only a few years ago. Neither of them would have dared challenge Mamm back then.

  “We will speak of this later,” Mamm said. “Breakfast must be prepared now. So set the table, Laura.”

  Her twin wearily stood, and only the tinkering of pots and silverware filled the kitchen as they worked.

  Chapter Eight

  Laura waited with clasped hands outside of John’s hospital room. Mamm sat next to her. Laura had wanted to come by herself, but Mamm had not allowed it. “It’s not seemly,” Mamm had said.

  “But there will be someone from John’s family there, too, so I won’t exactly be alone with him,” Laura had argued. But Mamm wouldn’t back down.

  So here they were—together. When Laura wanted nothing more than to be left alone with John. The words she wanted to say to John were not for anyone’s ears but his.

  “You can go in now,” a nurse said as she approached the two women. “Is this the first time you’re seeing him since he regained consciousness?”

  “Yah.”

  “Go ahead then.” The nurse motioned toward the doorway.

  Laura stood and walked slowly, Mamm’s footsteps close behind her.

  “Mamm, give us some time alone,” Laura whispered over her shoulder.

  Mamm didn’t reply as they entered the room. John was lying on the bed, his face the color of the white sheets. Laura gasped and hurried forward. “John!”

  John’s sister Clare was seated in the shadows, but Laura ignored her to touch John’s pale hand. “John,” she tried again. “Are you awake?”<
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  John opened his eyes, but there was no response.

  “He’s not speaking much,” Clare said. “We haven’t got a word out of him yet.”

  “How long has he been conscious?” Mamm asked from a few feet away.

  Clare shrugged. “I’ve only been here since around eight. We try to keep someone with him at all times. Mamm’s been doing that for the most part. John’s still on strong pain medication. The doctors will…”

  Laura shut out Clare’s words as she squeezed John’s hand and whispered, “I’m so sorry about this. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…” She couldn’t go on.

  How could she say that the kiss she had enjoyed with John behind the shed had been wrong? It simply wasn’t, and yet this had been the result.

  Laura studied John’s face as Mamm’s and Clare’s voices rose and fell behind her. “Do you know me, John?” she finally asked. A flicker of recognition seemed to cross his face. Laura squeezed his hand and a slight response came. “Can you forgive me?”

  John’s lips moved and Laura moved closer. “It wasn’t your fault,” he mouthed. The words were plain enough.

  “You’ll be better soon,” she said. “And everything will be like it was before.”

  John blinked and seemed to fade away.

  “He’s been doing that since I got here,” Clare said. “Don’t take it personally.”

  Laura looked away. This simply wasn’t right. She needed a private conversation with John. But what could be done? Mamm wouldn’t leave her alone with him, and even if by some miracle Mamm disappeared, John appeared to have drifted off to sleep.

  Mamm pulled on Laura’s elbow. “Come. You can do no more now. He’s not able to communicate.”

  Laura resisted, but the effort was useless. She wouldn’t make a scene in front of Clare. Besides, Mamm would still win.

  As they left the room, Mamm paused with her hand still on Laura’s elbow. “Goot morning, Hilda,” Mamm said.