Always Close to Home

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Don’t worry,” Nancy assured him. “They need to know.”

  Charles chuckled. “Wow. You have definitely changed.”

  “Yah, definitely,” Nancy agreed.

  “You will marry me today then?”

  Nancy smiled up at him. “Give me some time. I have to take the proper steps. Say my good-byes and let the community go through their process. But in a few weeks I’ll be ready.”

  Charles didn’t appear convinced. “Are you sure?”

  Nancy gave him her best smile. “Yah, I am. In the meantime you can stop in whenever you wish. Does that convince you?”

  Charles glanced at Emil, who still hadn’t moved. “I suppose so. You did kiss me in front of that Amish man. You’ve never done that before.”

  “See?” Nancy climbed out of the pickup truck. She turned before she closed the door. “And there’s another kiss waiting for you when I see you next.”

  “Is that a promise?”

  “A promise,” Nancy said.

  She closed the pickup door and waited until Charles pulled away. She waved and was ready to climb in the buggy when Emil hurried up to her.

  “Who was that?” he demanded.

  “Charles Wiseman,” she told him. “My future husband.”

  Emil gasped. “You were kissing him right here in public. You, Teacher Nancy!”

  “Yah,” Nancy said. “Kissing is common, isn’t it, when two people plan to marry?”

  “Does Yost know about this?” Emil glared at her.

  Nancy shook her head. “But I’m on my way to tell him now.”

  She untied Floe and climbed in the buggy. Emil stared after her as she drove out of the parking lot, but she ignored him. She had other things on her mind. Like the conversation ahead of her. She must speak with Yost and his daughters. The talk would not be easy, but she was determined. As determined as she had ever been about anything.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Later that Saturday morning, Lydia swept the last of the crumbs from under the kitchen table in her family home. Breakfast had been served well over an hour ago. Laura had helped with the dishes, but she had fled upstairs at the first opportunity.

  At the breakfast table, Lester had joked, “Looks like somebody has a lot of Saturday work ahead of her.”

  No one had laughed. They all knew Lester wasn’t referring to their regular Saturday housework, but to Laura’s humiliation of Wendell Kaufman at Bishop Ezra’s this past week. That Laura had dared to openly sit beside John had caught even Lydia by surprise when the news reached her at Uncle Henry’s.

  Uncle Henry had proclaimed at once, “You need to go home for a weekend visit, Lydia. Be with your sister.”

  She had known that dark days lay ahead of them, but this? To defy Wendell so openly? Her twin, who had spoken so bravely of the Lord’s hand at work, had resorted to brazen actions that couldn’t help in her quest to marry John.

  Laura indeed had plenty of work ahead of her if she wished to repair Wendell’s wounded pride—but she really didn’t. They hadn’t discussed the issue yet, but she would have to approach Laura soon. What should she say? Should she encourage Laura to apologize?

  That had been Daett’s advice when Lydia had met him out by the barn. “Tell your sister to straighten things up with Wendell, Lydia. She can start by going over tomorrow and telling the man she’s sorry. By herself, preferably, but you can go with her if you wish.”

  Uncle Henry likely meant the same thing when he spoke to Lydia before she left the roadside stand yesterday afternoon. “You can help your family, if anyone can. A little humility expressed by your sister will go a long way, I’m thinkin’.”

  Even with the rush of the busy Christmas season upon them, Uncle Henry had insisted that she go home for the weekend and help bring Laura to her senses. But she was the wrong person for the task. She should have been honest and told Uncle Henry that she was on Laura’s side—at least when it came to Laura’s hope for a miracle. But the words had stuck in her mouth, and Uncle Henry had taken her hesitation to mean that she didn’t want to leave the roadside stand in the middle of a busy time.

  “We’ll manage,” Uncle Henry had assured her with a kind smile. “Sometimes there are things in life more important than business.”

  So now she was home. But how she was to help was beyond her. She could comfort Laura and maybe suggest that she could have chosen a subtler way to cut off her relationship with Wendell, but that advice was a little late.

  The truth was, Laura had taken a serious step. One from which there probably was no going back. John’s parents had forbidden the relationship between their son and Laura. Brash actions like this from Laura would only cement their determination. Things had become dark and difficult indeed. If ever Laura needed help from the Lord, it was now.

  But there was no indication any such aid was forthcoming. One comfort at least was that Lydia’s relationship with Milton was still on an even keel. They hadn’t progressed further or fallen back.

  The dustpan shook in Lydia’s hand as she deposited the crumbs in the oven. A burst of flame licked out of the round opening before Lydia slammed the oven lid and hung the wire holder back on the wall. How explosive things were in life, especially in human relationships—and in love, of course. Laura had followed her heart again and likely destroyed any hope she had of marriage. Wendell would see to that. No unmarried man would dare ask for Laura’s hand—at least not until this current crop of single men had found partners. From there the only choice would be some widower who dared launch his ship into her sister’s emotional waters. Laura would have to settle for second-best, but then again, Wendell had been second-best.

  Lydia sighed and replaced the broom in the hall closet. The time had come for a long talk with Laura. She might make things worse and drag her own spirits down, but Laura was still her twin sister. If only Mamm were here, or even Nancy. Maybe she should make a trip over to Nancy’s and bring her soon-to-be mamm back with her. Nancy might know where to go from here.

  But she wouldn’t bother Nancy this morning. Instead, she slowly made her way up the familiar stair steps. She didn’t knock on Laura’s bedroom door, but walked on in. When Laura looked up, woe was written on her face. Lydia sat on the bed beside her and slipped her arm around her.

  “We need to talk,” she said.

  “About what? I did what I did, and I don’t regret it.”

  “But maybe you shouldn’t have,” Lydia ventured.

  “Do you really think so?”

  The words stuck in Lydia’s throat and she could say nothing.

  “See then? There is nothing to speak about,” Laura said.

  “You know there is,” Lydia insisted. “Daett and Uncle Henry have opinions about it, and there is the future, and what will happen to you, and what Wendell will say, and…”

  Laura forced a laugh. “Let him say what he wishes. I’m not going to wed him. I’m going to marry John.”

  Lydia pressed her lips together.

  Laura’s voice was firm. “I’m going to marry John. If I have to wait a hundred years and am old and withered and haggard.” Then Laura giggled. “You should have seen Wendell’s face, Lydia. I didn’t look back but once, and it wasn’t funny then, but it’s funny now.”

  “It’s not funny now,” Lydia told her.

  “But you should have been there, Lydia. I got to sit beside the man I love, even if it was only for the rest of the evening. I got to remember what once was. How John used to look at me with such passion in his eyes, such joy, such…Oh, Lydia, I want to feel his arms around me again. I want John to hold me and tell me everything will be all right. That we will build new memories together. Blind people have their ways, I’ve heard. Other senses develop. We certainly wouldn’t have to learn to love again, because we already know how. John wanted to reach for my hand the other evening. I could tell, but he barely dared speak to me. I just sat beside him and helped him work on his toys.”

  “I can imagine,”
Lydia said.

  She could see the scene clearly even now. Tension would have been thick enough in the old barn to cut with a butter knife, yet no one would have said a word. What could they do—drag either John or Laura away? Even Bishop Ezra hadn’t said anything. He was a wise man, and he hoped Laura would come to her senses without a further public display of humiliation.

  “I will marry him,” Laura repeated.

  Lydia pulled her sister close. “Maybe we should both stop dreaming and face reality.” Her heart sank at the words, but she had to say them. This was what Daett and Uncle Henry expected of her.

  “We? Has Milton rejected you?” Laura gasped.

  “No! But you know there are dark days ahead for me too, Laura. Milton hasn’t joined the baptismal class, and…” Lydia stopped. She could say no more.

  “Dear heart. You must keep up hope. Miracles still happen. I know they do. Hasn’t John started walking? I should never have allowed Wendell to take me home from that youth gathering or agreed to a date. I only made things worse. I tore John’s heart to pieces. I wanted to explain everything the other evening, but I couldn’t speak plainly with everyone around us. But he understood, Lydia. I’m sure he did. Why else would I have gone to sit with him with Wendell right there in the room? John’s blind, but he knew Wendell was there.” Laura glanced at Lydia as the sound of buggy wheels came from the driveway. “That must be Nelson leaving for town, or perhaps Daett.”

  Lydia shook her head. “That was a buggy coming in, not leaving.”

  Laura sat up straighter. “You don’t think…?”

  Lydia got up to look out the window. “It’s Nancy. She just drove in, and she is talking with Daett by the barn door.”

  “See?” Laura’s face brightened. “That’s a goot sign. Nancy has been given her miracle after all these years.”

  Lydia didn’t take her eyes off the two figures beside the barn door. “Yah,” she agreed, “but Mamm had to die for it to happen.”

  “Don’t be so negative,” Laura chided. “The Lord makes goot things come out of even bad things. Look at me and John. How much better would life have been if John hadn’t fallen? But he did, and we still love each other. That’s a miracle in itself. I wish Mamm hadn’t passed, but she did, and now Nancy has her chance at happiness.”

  Lydia glanced at her sister. “I can’t imagine Nancy sitting around waiting for Mamm to…” Lydia stopped. The words were too awful to say. Of course Nancy hadn’t waited for Mamm to die. Nancy had fallen in love with an Englisha man. Everyone seemed determined to sweep that truth under the rug.

  “She’ll be our mamm, even if she doesn’t feel like our mamm,” Laura said. “Nancy will be something different, but a miracle nonetheless.” Laura came over to stand beside Lydia. “See, they love each other. Look at them talking.”

  “By the way Daett’s waving his arms around,” Lydia said, “it looks like Nancy is giving him bad news.”

  “Oh, that’s just love,” Laura said before she went back to sit on the bed.

  Lydia looked out of the window again. Nancy and Daett were now coming toward the house, but they didn’t walk close together as lovers should. She was right, and Laura was wrong. Nancy and Daett had run into a rough spot. Maybe Nancy had some doubts about the wedding and had come over to discuss the matter. Daett would not take well to a postponement of their wedding date. Daett wanted a frau in the house soon, and a mamm for his daughters.

  “They’re coming in,” Lydia said.

  Laura bounced up from the bed. “Oh, and we haven’t cleaned!”

  “Nancy won’t blame us for talking instead of working,” Lydia said. “But we should get busy.”

  The two girls made their way downstairs and found Nancy near the front door with a slight smile on her face. Daett, however, was nowhere to be seen.

  “Have you come over to help us out for the day?” Laura chirped. “We were just upstairs talking, but we’re getting busy now.”

  Any hint of a smile on Nancy’s face faded. “I’m afraid not. I need to speak with you girls. Can we sit on the couch?”

  “Sure,” Laura said, seating herself. “You can have the rocker.” She motioned with her hand.

  Nancy took the offered seat, but Lydia stayed on her feet behind the couch.

  “This is going to be hard to say, girls,” Nancy began, “as it was to tell your daett. But I wanted you to hear it from my own lips. I won’t be marrying your daett after all.”

  “You won’t?” Laura half rose to her feet.

  “No, I won’t,” Nancy said. “I’m sorry. I had hoped things could be worked out, and I wanted to tell you that I haven’t been pretending these past weeks. I tried to love your daett the way I used to. I did truly plan to marry him—but in the end, I can’t. Sometimes you can’t recapture the past.”

  Nancy paused and the hint of a smile returned. “There was a time when your daett and I loved each other deeply. At least, I loved him in that way. But he chose to marry your mamm—which I don’t hold against him. On my part I stayed single because my heart wouldn’t open to another man.” Nancy stared out of the window for a second. “But now a man has reached my heart, but it isn’t your daett. We’ve all been avoiding the subject, hoping the feeling would go away. But my love for Charles Wiseman hasn’t gone away. I know the community thinks this doesn’t matter, that I should marry your daett anyway, and that love would grow between us again. But I can’t leave what I truly love for what I hope might happen. I’m not asking you to understand. I just wanted to tell you myself that I’m going to marry Charles.”

  The floor spun in front of Lydia’s eyes. She hung on to the back of the couch as Nancy stood. Laura jumped up to give Nancy a hug, but Lydia couldn’t move. This was the end of her miracle. Now Milton would leave the community along with his sister. This was the nudge he would need, since he was already teetering on the edge of the fence.

  “I’m so sorry, Lydia,” Nancy said, as if from a long distance away.

  Lydia couldn’t move, but she nodded. The front door opened and closed. Lydia was still clutching the back of the couch when Laura returned to embrace her, and the two clung silently to each other.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Late on Christmas Eve, Lydia climbed into Milton’s buggy. Uncle Henry had closed his roadside stand in the morning, and she should have left for home after lunch when they had brought up the last boxes for storage in the barn. Aunt Millie would have driven Lydia home if she had asked her to, but she hadn’t. Instead she had asked Milton to drop her off on his way home.

  Lydia settled into the buggy seat but avoided looking at Milton.

  “Getup!” Milton called to his horse, Red, and off they went down Uncle Henry’s lane and out onto Highway 184.

  Lydia gazed at the scenery as they drove past the familiar fields. She had begun this season with such hope in her heart, and much had happened at Uncle Henry’s this fall—both goot and bad. A lump formed in Lydia’s throat. She wouldn’t be back after Christmas, and neither would Milton. Would he then slip away…into the Englisha world? If so, she could not, would not, go with him. In which case, she saw her life slipping away as well. How could she hang on? Somehow she must get Milton’s attention. But how did one grasp at hope when things were dark? Laura believed in miracles, and she was inspired by that belief. But Milton no longer seemed possible, nor did his love seem attainable.

  “It was nice working for your uncle,” Milton said.

  Lydia looked away. She couldn’t speak. Thankfully Milton seemed to understand as he let out the reins again. Red settled into a steady trot on the blacktop.

  “Thanks for taking me home,” Lydia finally managed.

  Milton’s smile was thin. “It’s a pleasure. Don’t think twice about it.”

  That’s all he has to say? The question eating at her heart made her want to cry out in protest, but she stifled the urge. There was no sense in making a scene.

  “I suppose you heard that Nancy’s excommuni
cation happened last Sunday in your home district,” Milton said, his voice bitter. He didn’t look at her.

  “Did you go?” Lydia asked.

  “She’s my sister,” Milton said, as if that answered everything.

  Lydia took a deep breath. “I could be bitter too,” she said. “Our family has its own troubles, you know. My daett had planned to marry your sister. Now with Nancy marrying an Englisha man, Daett will take a while to get over that blow.”

  “But Nancy loves Charles! What else was she to do?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply…That was just my way—”

  “It’s okay,” Milton said, cutting her off.

  She didn’t respond. Milton didn’t expect her to. They were two hearts wounded in their own ways. That was clear enough. Cautiously she slipped her hand around Milton’s arm. He gave her a gentle smile, and Red’s hooves beat a steady rhythm on the pavement.

  Was there hope for them yet? Milton didn’t pull away from her touch. Did he also miss the close times they had once shared and wish things could be different? How could Milton have shared such precious moments with her, only to forget all about them?

  Lydia ventured a quick look up at his face. “Did you know about Nancy’s plans?”

  “Not before anyone else did,” he said. “I thought she was settled on your daett.”

  Lydia’s heart raced. Did she dare ask? She had to. “Haven’t you missed our times together at Uncle Henry’s, Milton? You planned such sweet things for us to do this season. Can’t we go on the way we once did? You and I?”

  His arm twitched. “I’m sorry, Lydia. Things change.”

  “But why?”

  He didn’t answer for a long moment. “Because I’ll be leaving the community soon. With Nancy excommunicated, I can’t stay. And unless I miss my guess, you aren’t coming with me.” He hurried on without waiting for an answer. “So I might as well take the big step right after Christmas. I have my car now, and I can get a job in Ogdensburg. I’ll get an apartment and leave all this old stuff behind for a new life.”