Always Close to Home

by Jerry S. Eicher

  John seated himself before he whispered back, “How are they doing?”

  “I don’t really know,” Laura said. “I’ve been thinking about other things.”

  John chuckled. He understood perfectly. John had also been thinking about her and the vows they had exchanged. She could tell by the expression of deep joy written on his face.

  “You’re my frau now,” John said. “My dear, precious frau.”

  Laura blushed deeply. “Someone might hear you.”

  From Lydia’s smile she could tell that her twin had overheard the exchange. Thankfully Milton was deep in conversation with a cousin who had come up to speak to him.

  Laura leaned toward Lydia and whispered, “I hope you don’t despair today, regardless of how things turn out.”

  Lydia glanced at Milton before she answered. “You can pray for me. That’s about all that can be done right now.”

  “Then you’ve not given up?” Laura lowered her voice when Milton glanced at the two of them. She smiled sweetly at him.

  Milton smiled back and continued his conversation.

  “He’ll hear us next time,” Lydia warned.

  “You shouldn’t give up.”

  “I guess I should tell you I went to see Teacher Nancy in Ogdensburg the other day,” Lydia admitted.

  Laura gasped.

  “Teacher Nancy helped you and John in your dark time,” Lydia explained. “Why wouldn’t she know what I needed also? Especially since it involves her brother.”

  Laura pressed her lips together. “Nancy’s in the…you know what. What if someone had seen you?”

  “They didn’t,” Lydia said. “Nancy gave me goot advice. I will always be thankful for her wise words.”

  “What did Nancy say?” Laura leaned in closer to Lydia.

  “I can’t tell you here, but just know that I’ll be okay,” Lydia said.

  John had obviously been eavesdropping and entered the conversation. “And so will you and Milton. You love each other, and love leads to the best outcome.”

  Lydia blinked. “You have a very wise husband, Laura.”

  “Thank you,” John replied. “We’ll be praying for you.”

  Lydia nodded and turned away, but not before a tear glistened in her eye.

  Laura leaned against John’s shoulder as Bishop Ezra stood up to lead out in the thanksgiving prayer for the meal. The Lord had given Laura a wise and goot husband who cared about her and her family. She had to follow His lead and place Lydia in the Lord’s hands. She looked up at John’s face and he smiled down at her. She had not forgotten that she was John’s frau, and neither had John. Tonight a warm fire awaited them in Nancy’s old house, which was now theirs. They would get down on their knees in the living room, and offer a prayer of thanks.

  Chapter Forty

  Nancy sat fidgeting in Dr. Hag’s office. Why was this taking so long? And why was she so nervous? She hoped her instincts were correct, and that her prayers were answered, but she wanted confirmation.

  Dr. Hag entered the office the second time and gave her a look she couldn’t read.

  “Well, was I right?” she asked with impatience. “Is it what I suspect?”

  “Should be here in about seven and a half months.” Dr. Hag broke into a smile but then sobered. “You know that complications can occur readily at your age.”

  “The Lord will be with me,” Nancy said. “At least I won’t be having a half-dozen children.”

  Dr. Hag chuckled. “I heard that you left the Amish community. Will you have support here in our world?”

  “Charles, my husband, has many friends. I’m involved with him at the Baptist Church. Yes, we will have plenty of support…though, of course, I miss my Amish friends and family from the community.”

  Dr. Hag nodded. “That’s understandable. Well, I’m certainly happy for you and your husband. You’re in good health, so we really don’t anticipate any problems. Of course, we’ll monitor your progress with regular appointments until your delivery.”

  Nancy dressed and paid the receptionist, Mrs. Brinkman, on the way out. The strangeness of writing the check as Nancy Wiseman still stirred her, but in a goot way. “Thank you,” she told Mrs. Brinkman.

  “And congratulations on the news,” Mrs. Brinkman replied with a smile. “We’ll see you next month. Here’s your appointment card.”

  Nancy tucked the card in her purse and left the doctor’s office. She drove out of Heuvelton toward Ogdensburg and soon pulled onto a side road. She parked by the edge of a small wood and climbed out of the car. Only a short trek into the woods was needed. There she found what she looked for: wildflowers in fresh bloom. With the snows almost gone and the days much warmer, she had been sure the trilliums were out, and her faith had been rewarded.

  Back in her car Nancy placed the wildflowers carefully on the passenger’s seat, and when she arrived home, she placed them just as carefully in the blue Ming vase on the dining room table. She bent low over the flowers and took a long breath. The wild fragrance filled her, and joy bubbled up from inside of her. She was carrying Charles’s child.

  Charles must be told tonight when he came home. Lisa had returned to college after the wedding, so only the two of them were in the house. She might as well act like the Englisha did. An announcement at supper would be perfect.

  Nancy took another long breath of the flowers’ fragrance. In spite of her joke to Dr. Hag about her half-dozen children if she had married an Amish man, this would likely be her only child either way. A woman in her forties could only bear so many children. She was blessed to be expecting one at all. To think that the Lord had given her love so late in her life—and now a gift that came from such love. She would bring the child to a healthy birth.

  “Choose the best,” she had told Lydia all those weeks ago.

  Lydia had understood, although Lydia’s choice would likely be different from hers. She had no regrets about leaving the community. Yost had been an attempt to recapture a love that had long since died. She had lived on a memory. The inspiration had been enough to fuel her love for school teaching and for the kinner of other parents. But the freshness and the newness were gone, like a trillium flower from twenty springs ago whose white blossoms had withered. Yost would have been satisfied with what was left, but she would not have been. Now Yost could experience a new happiness with Deacon William’s cousin Sherry.

  Charles had told her last week, “I ran into that deacon again, and he told me your old boyfriend is marrying in late May.”

  “Oh,” she had said. “That was kind of Deacon William.”

  “Regrets?” Charles had teased.

  “No regrets,” she had said, followed by a kiss.

  Nancy smiled at the memory and ran her fingers lightly over the tender white of the silky wildflower. Yellow bloomed from the center, reaching skyward with all the joy of spring written on its face. She was glad the wildflowers were in bloom. As a young girl she had gathered them often in her fingers, but knew it was useless to carry them home.

  “You can plant some along the fence row if you like them so much,” her mamm had told her. “But you can’t bring them in the house.”

  Of course she could have taken them inside the house, but Mamm had meant she couldn’t place them in a vase as the Englisha did. The community didn’t subject what the Lord had made to such a display in their homes. Flowers brought pride too close for humans to resist temptation. But there was nothing prideful about this vase of flowers. There was only joy and laughter and hope and faith in the future. She would bear a child who would be here after she was gone. She would name her…

  Nancy paused and smiled. Her child would be a girl. She was sure of that. She would call her Sunshine or Flower, maybe. Nancy chuckled in the still house. How wild her imagination had grown. Even among the Englisha such names weren’t acceptable, and she wanted her child to grow up accepted. Her girl must feel at home. She must know she would be loved and appreciated. Charles had raised Lisa like t
hat, and he would show the same consideration to her girl.

  She had never been a mamm before, but the Lord would be with her. She would raise this daughter with the best of herself. With the Lord’s help that would be sufficient. If they were given another child, the same grace would be supplied again.

  Nancy took a deep breath. She must not expect too much. That she would be a mother even once was a miracle beyond anything she had dared dream only a few years ago. The community’s teachings said that love came once the wedding vows were said, but she had risked all for a love that had come before the wedding, and her faith had been rewarded. It was not as the community saw fit, but her heart had seen the fingerprints of the Lord plainly enough.

  Along with Charles had also come the opportunity to pursue her hunger for knowledge. The Lord had made the world, and her heart longed to see more of His beauty and glory in creation. Charles hadn’t hesitated in supporting her desire to learn. A new computer was installed in the spare bedroom—a faster one, Charles claimed, than his old one. Fast enough to connect to the website of a Christian college in Virginia. She had never been to Virginia, but the wonders of Englisha technology had taken her there in spirit. The online classes were the best available, the website said, and Charles had nodded his agreement.

  “It’ll be a decent education,” he had said.

  To pay for it all, she had taken a part-time job at the tractor supply in town.

  “That’s not necessary,” Charles had told her.

  She had returned his smile and applied for the job, which mostly involved restocking shelves. She would be offered a higher position soon. She could tell by the approval in the manager’s voice. She had planned to accept the promotion, which would mean more hours. Now with the child on the way she would have to postpone all that, but she didn’t want to live off of Charles. She was his frau, but this was the Englisha world. Things were done differently.

  Nancy took one last look at the white wildflowers and began to make supper. Thankfully, Charles liked her Amish cooking—which was good, since that was all she knew.

  Nancy pulled dishes from the cupboard so that they clattered and banged. Those were the sounds of home, and she loved them. In the past, such sounds reminded her of the emptiness of her house—and life. But now when she was alone in the house, Charles’s presence lingered. Charles was a husband to love, and he loved her.

  Nancy gave the recipes only a quick glance. She knew them by heart. If she hurried the meal would be ready in time for Charles’s usual arrival. The evening darkness would be upon them soon, but joy would fill their home tonight. Happiness was already in their hearts, but shared news, when it was goot, made the delight increase by leaps and bounds. She had always known this, but she had never shared such tidings with a man before. A man whose child she was carrying.

  Nancy stirred the gravy as the scent of the wildflowers drifted past her. Behind her the timer went off, and Nancy dropped her stirring spoon to pour the hot water from the potatoes, leaving them in the sink to cool.

  An hour came and went, and steam rose from the prepared dishes. Everything tasted like it should. The samples were taken in route to keep her confidence high. Not that she hadn’t done this before, but there was news tonight. Charles would be home soon. A man who was her husband would eat the food she had prepared. That made a difference—a mysterious difference. She cared deeply, profoundly, in a way a hundred generations of women had done before her. She was part of a whole, a continuation of what had always been and what she would not complete.

  All the dishes were on the table when the front door opened. Nancy stood by the table with the scent of the wildflowers stirred by the breath of air that moved from the open door.

  “Hello?” Charles called out. “Anybody home?”

  “In the kitchen,” Nancy called back.

  His footsteps came quickly, and he soon appeared in the doorway. “Flowers on the table? And you look lovely.” He waited, taking in her odd smile.

  “Something’s up,” he said. “What gives? What’s the occasion?”

  “Does there have to be an occasion?” she asked, stepping closer to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

  “But there is one,” he said. His arms pulled her tight for a moment. He knew her too well.

  “Maybe,” she allowed, “but the food is warm. Let’s sit and eat.”

  He sat without protest and with bowed head, offered a blessing. Then he looked up and said, “Okay, now tell me what’s up.”

  Warm flashes raced up her neck. She was Englisha now, but old Amish habits died hard. How would she share the news if this had been Yost? Certainly not here in the kitchen, even if there were no other ears to hear.

  “Is something wrong?” His voice dripped with concern, and he reached his hand over to touch her face. The uncovered food steamed in front of them, but he ignored it.

  Nancy smiled broadly. “There’s nothing wrong. Everything’s right. So right, in fact, that …” She paused and was surprised to feel tears emerging. “I’m carrying your child.”

  “You’re expecting?” he said. “That’s wonderful!” Then he saw her tears. “You did want this to happen, didn’t you?”

  “Yah.” The old word slipped out. “With all my heart.”

  He reached for her with both hands. “Dear heart,” he whispered. “What a wonderful woman you are, and now a mother—or soon to be. When did you know?”

  “I’ve wondered for a week or two,” she said. “But I went to Dr. Hag this morning to make sure.”

  Charles still smelled of his morning cologne, fresh and exotic—a scent she had picked out for him after the wedding. “It will be a girl,” she finished. “I just know.”

  “The child will be precious either way.” He held her close.

  She pulled away from him. “You must eat. The food will be cold.” She dished out the first portion for him.

  When he had taken his first bite, she asked, “Is it okay?”

  “You know it is,” he said. “Like you. Perfect!”

  She looked away as a waft of the flowers’ fragrance drifted above the smell of the food.

  He smiled. “Eat,” he said. “For you and for her. For us and for our life together.”

  She nodded, unable to speak.

  Chapter Forty-One

  With the warm afternoon breeze on her face, Lydia slipped through the crowd of wedding guests in Sherry Yoder’s front yard. All of them were strangers to her, as were most of the guests. Lydia had traveled down to Ohio from the North Country with a hired van for Daett’s wedding two days ago, along with Laura and John. Nelson, Lester, and several others from the community had also come with them. Daett had been here for a month to spend time with his bride and to help with the wedding preparations. The group would return home tomorrow with the hired van, while Daett and Sherry would follow in a week or so on the Greyhound bus.

  The Mast house would feel empty when she returned home. Nelson and Lester would be there, and she would keep house for them. They would attend the youth gatherings and the Sunday services together, but nothing would be the same. Not with Laura married and living with John, and now Daett married too. Sherry would want things her way when she returned to the North Country with him—which was Sherry’s right. Sherry would be the new mamm of the house. There might even be a young one arriving by this time next year. All of which meant that Lydia should make plans of her own…but what? Milton had vanished. He hadn’t been at any of the youth gatherings that she had attended in the past month. She had no right to know how and where Milton spent his time. And yet…

  Lydia climbed the front porch steps, where a group of young girls were lingering along the railing, deep in conversation. A few of them gave Lydia a quick glance and waved.

  Lydia waved back and said hi, pasting on a smile as she moved closer to the girls. The porch swing was unoccupied. Everyone apparently preferred to stand after the three-hour church service and hearty meal afterward, but the seat appeared invit
ing to her. Lydia sat down and the chains squeaked.

  One of the girls glanced her way.

  “You’re Lydia, aren’t you? Yost’s daughter.”

  “Yah, that’s me.” Lydia forced her smile to widen.

  “I’m Esther, Sherry’s cousin.” The girl offered her own smile. “I hope you feel at home in Ohio.”

  “It’s nice,” Lydia said to be polite. “And Sherry’s folks put us up well for the night. Even my two brothers didn’t complain.”

  Esther’s eyebrows rose. “Two brothers? I must have missed them in the bustle at the noon meal.”

  Several of the girls giggled. “Don’t be so obvious, Esther.”

  “I’m sure they’re quite handsome with a daett like Yost.” Esther sent another smile Lydia’s way. “Your daett got himself a decent frau this morning. Sherry’s my favorite aunt!” Esther glowed with approval. “And your daett’s quite a catch from the things I’ve heard. Sherry couldn’t stop talking about him at the family gatherings these past months.” She searched the gathered crowd on the front lawn. “How many of your community people came down with you besides your two brothers?”

  There was choked laugher from the railing. “Why don’t you just come out and ask the real question, Esther?”

  Esther colored and Lydia hurried to answer. She knew what these insinuations meant. “A few,” she said. “My brother Nelson brought his girlfriend Emily along, but Lester’s still available. He’s the tall one.”

  The laughter was more subdued this time.

  “Looks like your daett started a trend, Lydia,” one of the girls said from the railing.

  “We should speak of something else!” Esther declared.

  “Now you want to change the subject?” the girl shot back. “Maybe I’ll be one of the lucky ones and be taken to the dinner table tonight by a North Country man.”

  The laughter was louder this time, and the conversation was soon buzzing again.