Coveted

by Mychea

  “Naima I was just asking a question. No need to get defensive. It’s not like I asked who you went out on a date with.”

  “Oh, so that is what this is all about? You found out that I was on a date, and now you are stuck in your feelings. I do not have time for this. I am going to bed. If you wish to stay, you can eat dinner with Namiyah and put her to bed if you like. You know Kalani cannot hang; he will be knocked out until tomorrow. Good night.”

  “Wait…don’t leave.” I say as I reach for her. “There’s something that I have been meaning to ask you.”

  She takes a deep breath and asks, “What is it?”

  “I want to know if you think that there may ever be a chance of us working this out, and maybe, if we took it really slow, be able to be together again?”

  “Kaden let’s not do this. I gave you everything I had to offer, and you just took, took and took. You never gave me anything in return. You never gave me your time or your affection.” She pauses and her eyes start to water. “There is nothing left in me to give to you. No more, time, no more affection, nothing. I am done. Love was enough to get us together, but it was not enough to keep us together. I wish you no ill will. I will not stand in the way of you seeing your kids, but there will never be anything else between you and me besides co-parenting. Good night.”

  Then she retreats up the stairs. I sit on the couch and put my head in my hands. I lost. She was not coming back.

  Mrs. Cynthia came back in the room and saw me with my head bent down in my hands.

  “Kaden are you staying for dinner? Namiyah wants you to. She’s almost done with her bath and should be joining us shortly.” She takes a closer look at me. “You doing okay?” she asks.

  “Mrs. Cynthia I messed up. I messed up real bad. I do not think I will be staying for dinner. Can you tell my little muffin that I will see her next week when I come to visit?” I did not listen for a reply. I grab my keys off the table and head for the door.

  Damir 11

  Naima walked out of the bathroom, in an indigo towel with her long, black hair dripping down her back. I like the way it waves up at the ends and sticks to her caramel skin. Everything about this woman excites me. From the way, she looks up at me with those hazel eyes, all the way down to her perfectly pedicured toes.

  I can tell she is nervous by the way, she flips her hair over her shoulder and gives a little giggle, almost as if she is unsure of herself. My job is to make her feel as comfortable as possible. I reach for her hand and she takes a deep breath and slowly reaches for mine in return. As I sit down on my bed, I gently pull her to stand in between my open legs. I bring her close and hug her as I bury my face into her flat stomach. She smells so good. She hesitantly brings her arm up, lays her hand on top of my head, and slowly begins to caress my scalp. I think that I am going to explode right here on the spot.

  I gently grab her hand, stand up, sweep her up into my arms, and slowly lower her onto the bed. I have to force myself to go slow. I want her so badly and the anticipation is killing me. The way she keeps looking up at me, I know that if I do not do something fast, this is going to be a premature night. I decide to distract myself by concentrating on getting her out of that wet towel that she is clutching rather tightly.

  She astounds me. Everything about Naima is perfect the way that she breathes, and the way that her symmetrical, copper nipples rise and fall with each breath. I am enchanted. She has a naval ring that says Naughty, and a bikini wax that I cannot wait to kiss.

  I swear this woman is going to kill me if I did not do something soon. My insides are screaming for release, aching for her. I look into her eyes, slowly lower my head, and suck on her bottom lip. The way that she responds to my touch is amazing.

  Her breathing is growing shallow as she starts to arch her back and moan. No woman had ever been this responsive from a solitary kiss from me. I decide to explore her body more to see what type of reaction I can ignite from her. I begin kissing her neck and lightly bite her collarbone and she continues to moan softly as my mouth closes around her nipple. I softly tug at it and she let out a sigh and a little whimper. I did not think it was possible, but I immediately grow harder from the sounds she is making.

  Brrrrrrrrrrring!

  I jump up in surprise. The sound of the phone ringing startled me out of my sleep. Damn I was dreaming. Naima felt so good, and too real. I could still feel her heartbeat pulsating under my tongue as I caressed her…

  Brrring! Brrring!

  I slowly let the daydream vanish as I leap for the telephone; I really have to start focusing more on my surroundings and less on my fantasies.

  “Hello?” I say to a dead receiver, as whoever was on the other end of the line hung up.

  Damn, so now, I have been awakened from my dream, and I missed the phone. I guess I could go and check the caller ID. It is just that I feel that if the call was that important, whoever it was would leave a message. On second thought, it could be Naima, and missing all of that lusciousness would be a crime. I make my way over to the caller ID. I scroll through my missed calls and realize that Amber was the missed call. I wonder what she was calling for. We have not spoken since dinner that night several weeks ago. I am also a little ticked that she interrupted my dream about Naima. I sit and think for a minute and decide to call her back.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Amber, I just missed your call. What is going on with you? Long time no hear.”

  There is silence on the other end.

  “Hello?” I say.

  “Damir, we need to talk. When will you be available to see me?”

  “My time is limited. Why can’t we talk now?”

  “I just think that it would be better if we talk in person.”

  “Amber.” Once again like so many times before, I find myself trying to keep the impatience out of my voice. “Will you please just tell me what is on your mind?”

  “Damir, I’m pregnant…and it’s yours”

  I drop the phone. She cannot be pregnant. This is a nightmare, and I know that I will be waking up soon. I have to. I hear her saying my name and I feel as if I am in a trance. I bend down to retrieve the phone.

  “Damir are you there?”

  “Yes Amber, I am here. I am trying to figure if I am dreaming or not. How can the baby be mine? We haven’t been intimate in over two months.”

  “I know but I didn’t want to tell you until I knew that I wouldn’t miscarry. I am exactly 15 weeks.”

  “How did this happen? You were the one that did not want children. You told me you were on birth control pills. I am confused. So you’re telling me that the last time I saw you at the restaurant you were pregnant, and you didn’t even tell me. What type of games are you playing? You must take me for a fool.”

  “Damir it’s not like that. I was listening every time that you said you wanted children, and somewhere along the line I decided to stop taking my birth control and let fate take its course.”

  “Woman you must be crazy. I wore a condom every time that I was with you.”

  “I know,” she stops and clears her throat. “I guess one of those times it didn’t work,” she says so softly I could barely hear her. “You want children and I want you. So if I have to have a baby to keep you then so be it.”

  I run my hand down my face. My head is beginning to throb. I cannot believe this. I have always been one of the good guys. I never lead women on. I am always honest about my feelings towards them and yet I still get caught up in drama. What the hell?

  “Amber this is crazy. As much as I want children, did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I did not want them with you. That is why I took the necessary steps to protect myself. You don’t even like kids. Do you think that having one for me will make you instantly gain motherly instincts?” Damn, I wish I were anyone other than myself at the moment.

  “Damir, I did this for you - for us.” I could hear her sobbing on the other end of the phone.

  “Amber I’m not b
uying the crying crap, so cut it out. You not wanting children was not the only problem in our relationship. I told you that.”

  “I know, but I figured if I gave you what you wanted, then you would give me what I want…you.”

  “You’re psycho. I cannot deal with this right now. I never took you for the conniving, devious type. Why did you do this? Then you conveniently wait three months to tell me. This is foul. I can’t believe that you would stoop so low.”

  “Damir, I love you. Please love me enough to forgive me. We can make this work. I’ll try to love the baby.”

  “See that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I do not want a woman that has to try to love my baby, her baby. I want a woman who does not think like that, and loves our baby automatically and unconditionally with no equivocations. Amber you are not the woman for me. I will be there for my child, but it does not change what has transpired between us. I have moved on with a life, and that does not include you. You should not have played these games.”

  “Damir…I’m giving you one last chance.”

  “Amber, it’s over. It has been over. I have tried to be nice to you, but obviously, that does not work. As of right now, I am done. I want to be there for my child, so please call me when you go on doctors visits. Other than that, we have nothing to talk about.”

  “You told me that you loved me.”

  “I did love and respect you as a friend, but you have lost my respect now. Congratulations on our baby. I have to go.”

  “You’ll be sorry Damir, I promise you that.” With that, the line went dead.

  What in the hell had gone wrong in my world? One minute I am sitting here dreaming about Naima, and the next, I find out I am going to be a father. Amber is psychotic.

  I sit on my chaise lounge and drop my head into my hands. Why me? Why now? Don’t get me wrong, of course I want children, but I always took the necessary precautions to prevent a pregnancy with Amber. I wanted all my children to be by the same woman, my wife, and in the blink of an eye, Amber has turned my whole world upside down.

  Haven 12

  “She won’t accept my phone calls, petty heifer. The least she could do, out of common courtesy, is call me back and let me explain. I mean really. It is not that deep. Plus we need to decide how to tell the children about what is going on. Kaven keeps asking about his god brother and god sister and why we haven’t seen them.”

  I was actually at work today. I had to stop being trifling and calling in sick every other day, before they up and fire my ass. I work as a sales consultant; a majority of my salary comes from commission sales, and if I do not come to work, I’m not making any sales - not that I’m hurting for money, mind you. Kaden pays me more than enough to take care of Kaven.

  “Haven I really don’t know what to tell you. You made your bed now you have to lay in it.”

  Amber, my direct manager, had the audacity to try to give me advice. I look at her out the corner of my eye. Shoot, her man just dropped her less than two months ago and here she is about four months pregnant. She has some nerve. She is pretty much in the same boat I am. She obviously did not have what it took to make that relationship work, so how is she going to stand there and try to school me on my friendship with my best friend?

  “Uh, excuse me? Aren’t you the same person that stopped taking your birth control pills, and started poking holes in condoms? Now look at you walking around here carrying a baby that you do not want by a man that does not want you. Let ye without sin, cast the first stone. Since that obviously ain’t you, I advise you to shut it.”

  “Could you lower your voice and stop putting my business in the street? I am still your immediate supervisor, and this is a work environment. I am tired of hearing about your problems. You are not the only one going through something.”

  “Yeah honey but the difference is you brought your problems on yourself.”

  “Last time I checked, so did you. Do not let this pregnancy fool you Haven; I am not in the mood for your shit, okay? I am not your friend Naima. I will do more than slap you. I will drop you on your ass.”

  “Why such vulgar language Amber? How ever did you manage to fool your high and mighty baby daddy into thinking you had class?” I ask with a look of exaggerated surprise.

  “Haven please, I didn’t have to act. No man has ever told me that I did not have class, unlike your nasty ass baby daddy.”

  “Okay you took it there,” I say looking at her through squinted eyes. “You know what? Let’s end this conversation before I say ‘fuck you and your pregnancy’ and slam your head into the wall, and get brought up on assault charges for attacking a pregnant woman.”

  “What does it matter anyway?” Amber said as she hung her head down and a tear escaped her eyes. “He doesn’t want me. Hold me so, point blank.”

  “I know. You know what? I’m tired of our no-good baby daddies getting away with treating us this way. I mean the least they can do is be courteous. They owe us that much.”

  “I’m just so mad,” Amber says as she stares right through her glass of water. “He told me he wanted kids. I cannot stand kids. I never wanted to have kids. All I ever wanted was him, and this is the thanks I get. I am so pissed at myself for thinking he would come around. What am I supposed to do with a baby? I damn sure do not want to have to raise it. I have already gained 20 pounds. I cannot believe that women actually enjoy this. I can’t wait to get this baby out of me so I can move on with my life.”

  “What do you mean move on with your life?” I look at her incredulously. “Kids are forever, Amber. You don’t just have them and they go away. I swear you are stupid.”

  “Well, what am I supposed to do with it? I don’t want it.”

  “Then give it to your baby daddy. He is the one that wants the kid anyway. Let him raise it. Or you can keep it, and have him pay you child support out the ass to raise his child. Then you can send it to boarding school or something. Shoot, either way you look at it, it’s a win-win situation.”

  “I never thought about it like that. Is that what you do to deal with being a mom?”

  “No honey, I don’t deal with being a mom. I love being a mom and I love my son. I don’t see how you can carry a child and not love it. I may be many things, and Kaden has called me quite a few, but I’m a damn good mother, and I know it.”

  She looks over at me then as if a thought has just crossed her mind

  “Does it upset you when I say I don’t want my baby?”

  I shrug my shoulders with indifference “No, why should it? It is your body and your baby. You are inclined to feel however you want. Unlike you, I am not casting any stones. Live your life however you want to live it.”

  “I guess I can respect that.” she takes a hesitant pause. “What are you going to do about your friend?”

  “I don’t know. I keep trying to imagine if I were her, how I would feel, but I just cannot seem to do it. Naima has always had everything handed to her. It seems so unfair that she got Kaden too”

  “Did you ever stop to think that maybe you were being a little selfish in this whole ordeal? I mean she was your best friend, and you have been screwing around with her husband pretty much as long as she has. Then you had the nerve to have a baby by him, and continue the affair to present day. Shoot, that’s a lot to swallow. If I were her, I would have put your ass six feet under. No doubt about it.”

  “Yeah, but Naima is soft. She does not have the heart. We’ll be friends again. I guarantee it.”

  “You know what I have learned in life?”

  I turn and glance at her “No. What?”

  “You should never underestimate anyone, and always expect the unexpected. That is what Damir did wrong. He thought I was an angel, and totally underestimated what I am capable of, and still does. He’ll see. I will have the last laugh.”

  I give Amber a look and cannot help thinking that this chick is psycho. I mean really psycho. Her eyes look like a crazed lunatic.

  She sees me star
ring at her.

  “What? Why you looking at me like that?”

  “Because I’m thinking about how psychotic you sound. It almost gives me chills. You’re not thinking of doing something stupid are you?”

  “Stupid? Like what?” She says with a twisted laugh, “I was just talking out loud and messing around. I would never do anything to Damir. Never.”

  It sounded more as if she was trying to convince herself than me. I give her one last look, then turn and walk back to my cubicle.

  Emeri 13

  I can barely contain the hurt that I am feeling. I buried my mom a week ago. I have a variety of emotions consuming me. I knew that my mama’s time was limited, but no matter how prepared you think you are for the death of your parent, the truth is, that you never really are. It is like the SATs. Nothing truly prepares you, except for experience. The sad part is my grandparents actually had the audacity to show up. They have not cared two cents about my mother since she got pregnant with me, but they decided to come to the funeral and actually try to forge some form of relationship with me out of thin air. They must have really bumped their heads, the bastards. I will not have anything to do with them. I have wondered about them my whole life. They have never tried to contact with me - not even once. No birthday cards or phone calls to say hi, nothing. So trying to reach out to me at my mothers’ funeral is disrespectful and rude. They can kiss my ass for all I care.

  I am at the house in my mama’s room trying to go through her things. I have finally gotten up the nerve to rummage through the trunk that she was so adamant I go through to discover information about my father. I never knew that my Mama had so many photos. For the life of me, I cannot recall her being into taking pictures that much. Going through them, I come across one where she must have been in her late teens. She is sitting at a bar with a very handsome Black man. I bring the photo up to my face for a closer look, and my hand begins to shake. I almost drop the photo. I turn the photo over, and sure enough, it read Blanca and Kenneth, Happy 18th to me, in my mama’s handwriting. I turn the photo back over to the front and study the guy in the shot. I have seen this man before. He was at the funeral. I am in shock. I cannot believe that I was in the same room as my father and did not even know that we had been breathing the same air.