The River's Edge

by Tina Sears

  “No, I’m not. I just don’t like smoking.” I stared at her, my anger rising. I was doing everything she expected me to do to be part of the group, but I was getting fed up. “And stop calling me New Girl, my name is Chris.”

  “Calm down, New Girl. You don’t have to be so touchy.” She clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth and went back to talking to Tommy. Everyone else stopped looking at me too and continued with their conversations.

  “Wendy and Owl are cute together, don’t you think?” I said, trying to break the tension.

  “Yeah, I guess.” Reds shrugged.

  I reached in my pocket and pulled the penny out that my mom gave me. I rubbed its smooth surface with my thumb and index finger. I did it so often I didn’t even think about it anymore.

  “What’s that?” Reds asked.

  “It’s a penny,” I said.

  “What? It doesn’t look like a penny,” Reds said, unimpressed.

  “Well, no. Not anymore. But it used to be a penny. Now it’s something else I guess.”

  “It’s worthless.”

  I quickly put the penny back in my pocket and changed the subject.

  “Does Freckles have a girlfriend?” I thought about the black-haired girl at the pool.

  “No. Says he wouldn’t want to be with just one girl, but maybe he just feels like the girls are too young for him here. He’s fifteen, you know.”

  “Fifteen!”

  “Yeah, he failed a grade, but we still hang out.”

  “What’s Tommy’s story?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Just your typical all-American boy. He plays for the football team during the school year. He’s had a crush on Julie ever since I can remember.”

  “What are you two whispering about over there?” Julie asked, walking toward us.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  She was pretty, I’ll give her that, but I looked at her feet, and they had mud on them just like the rest of us, and her painted toenails, well; they just looked like drops of blood in the earth.

  Tommy followed her and put his hands around her waist from behind. She leaned back into him; her head nestled against his neck. Then she turned toward him and they embraced, his hands around her waist and her hands around his neck. There wasn’t any sunlight between them as they kissed, long and hard. It was a private moment and I looked away.

  After a minute, Reds shuffled his feet and stood up. “Ahem.”

  “Oh, sorry, we got carried away, I guess,” Julie said proudly. She was claiming her territory and we all knew it.

  I stood up next to Reds and reached for his hand. I didn’t have painted toenails, but I had a winning smile, and I used it on Reds. He took my hand. Julie wasn’t the be-all and know-all that she thought she was.

  I looked at Julie. I wonder if she was getting my anti-Julie vibe because just then she walked over to me.

  “What?” I said.

  She touched my hair.

  “Hey, New Girl. Why do you always wear your hair up?”

  “I don’t know. It’s easier than wearing it down, I guess.”

  “You and Wendy are coming with me.” That was definitely an order.

  “Why?” Wendy asked.

  “Come on. Follow me. We are going to have a make-over at my place.”

  We said bye to the guys and followed Julie up the path. Once clear, we headed toward the pavilion with Julie leading the way.

  A few minutes later, we turned down the dirt road toward the playground. Julie’s cottage was the second one on the right.

  Julie burst through the screen door. We followed.

  She stopped at the entrance to the living room. “Mom, I’m home.”

  Her mother was in a chair, facing the TV.

  “I got a couple of friends over,” Julie said.

  She didn’t turn around to greet us. She just continued to watch TV. “Okay, honey.”

  Julie flopped down on the edge of her bed and Wendy sat beside her. I sat on the chair at her desk, looking into the mirror above it. Makeup was scattered over the top of it. I had never seen so much makeup in my life! No wonder Julie always looked so good.

  There was a poster over her bed. It was a kitten holding onto a tree branch. On the bottom of the poster it said, “Hang in There Baby.”

  Julie walked over to her record player and put a forty five on the turntable. I watched the warped record spin and the needle rode the grooves like a car over a hill. I always thought that music breathed life. The beautiful notes mixed with the emotion of the singer could change a mood so fast that the sun and rain would harmonize, giving birth to rainbows.

  Her bedroom was painted light blue and her bedspread and curtains were white with yellow flowers on them. There were also splashes of tiny purple flowers here and there. I envied her delicate, feminine surroundings. Everything but the makeup was put neatly in its place. At my house, we were clean, but not everything was in its place.

  “My mom is always in front of the TV, watching her soap operas,” Julie said quietly. “I don’t even think she knows where I am half of the time and the other half, she just doesn’t care. Like I’m invisible.” There was a sadness in her voice. Her mom was so far away, even in the same house. My mom was two states away and I still felt close to her. I felt bad for Julie.

  She shrugged and came up behind me and plugged in a curling iron. “First, we’re going to do your makeup.” She turned the chair so I was facing her. She reached over to the messy pile of makeup and picked up the mascara. A few quick swipes of the wand on my eyelashes, and wa-la, my eyes looked brighter and bigger somehow. Next, she patted a brush over the powder foundation and applied it all over my face. Bold brush strokes over and over, like I was a picture she was painting.

  “Purse your lips,” Julie said.

  “What?”

  “You know. Pucker. Like you’re going to kiss someone.”

  “Pretend you’re going to kiss Reds,” Wendy said.

  I puckered my lips and Julie applied lipstick like she had been doing this her entire life. She reached into her makeup pile and grabbed some blush, which she applied to my cheeks.

  “That looks good on you, Chris.” Wendy picked up the blue eye shadow and turned it over in her hand, examining it like she was a scientist. “Here, do this next.” She handed the eye shadow to Julie.

  I tried to see myself in the mirror again, but as I turned my head toward the mirror, Julie put her hand on my face, forcing me to look back at her. “No. Not yet. Not until I’m finished with you.”

  “Okay, okay,” I said. “Jeez.”

  “Close your eyes.”

  I closed them and Julie started with my right eye, applying the eye shadow. It tickled, but it felt good too. I felt important. Like I was finally someone other than “The Loser” me that existed back in Virginia.

  After she finished with my left eye, she said, “Okay, you can open your eyes now, but don’t look in the mirror yet.”

  “Okay, but I can’t wait to see it,” I said.

  “Next, we’re going to curl your hair.” Julie took the elastic band from my hair and ran her fingers through it to fluff it out.

  Wendy busied herself by looking through all the makeup while Julie curled my hair.

  After a few minutes, Julie said, “Okay, you can look now.”

  I turned the chair and looked in the mirror. I was surprised. Amazed. My face seemed softer. All of my red splotches were now invisible. I looked at all the colors on my face and I really did feel like I was a painting. I had transformed from the awkward Skipper doll into the beautiful Barbie doll.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe it.”

  “I know,” Julie said. “That’s how I felt the first time I wore makeup. You feel different huh?” She paused. “You get noticed.”

  That seemed like a strange thing to say about makeup. I wonder if she started to wear makeup to get the attention she seemed to love so much. Then I thought about what she said about her mother, and how invisible
her mom made her feel. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed by her mother. I was beginning to understand Julie a little.

  “You look great, Chris,” Wendy said.

  “Yep. Reds will really notice you now,” Julie said. She turned to Wendy. “Now it’s your turn.”

  Chapter Ten

  Dancing the Night Away

  AFTER JULIE FINISHED Wendy’s makeup we headed back to the cottage. Excitement welled in my heart and threatened to burst out. Wendy talked me into painting my fingernails, but I refused when it came to painting my toenails like Julie’s. My toes weren’t the prettiest of things and that would just draw too much attention to them. At least I didn’t have dirt caked under my nails anymore. Wendy talked me into discarding my tomboy clothes and into wearing one of her dresses. With my makeup, dress, and painted fingernails, I felt grown up.

  When Uncle Butch saw us, he smiled so big I thought his cheeks were going to fall off of the sides of his face.

  “Well, don’t you two young ladies look nice,” he said.

  Wendy did a little bow. “Thanks, Dad. Julie did our hair and makeup.”

  As Wendy bent over to take her bow, he looked directly at me.

  “So pretty, too!”

  I don’t think he meant to emphasize the word, “pretty” so much, but that’s how it came out.

  “Aw, Dad,” Wendy said, brushing the compliment away.

  Aunt Lori came onto the porch. Paige followed behind. They were also wearing dresses.

  “Well, look at us girls. We’re all dressed up and ready for the dance,” Aunt Lori said.

  We walked with Uncle Butch, Aunt Lori, and Paige, but planned to spend the evening with the gang.

  On our way to the pavilion, I heard the hot bugs singing their high-pitched song of summer. My feet skipped because I couldn’t wait to show Reds that I had learned to dance.

  Uncle Butch put his bottle, wrapped in a brown paper bag, on the table. “Wendy, go get us some pop and ice, please.” He handed her money and we headed for the snack bar.

  I looked for Julie and the guys as people spilled into the pavilion, but they were nowhere to be found. “Wendy, do you see them?”

  She scanned the place. “No,” she said, disappointed.

  She kept her eyes on the picnic table we had claimed for ourselves last Friday and would claim again tonight. That seemed to hold true for the adults, too. People sat at the same tables as they did last week. I imagined that they had done this for years.

  We got to the snack bar and waited our turn, but the teenage boy behind the counter was ignoring us. It was the same boy as last week.

  “We’ve been here forever,” Wendy said, stomping her foot.

  The black-haired girl was also behind the counter. She smiled and waved to me. One pool game with Freckles and she thought she was my friend. She was going to have to go through an initiation like I had to, to be part of our group. I realized then that I was becoming as stuck up as Julie. I remembered Wendy’s words. “Popularity changes people.” She was right. I did feel different. I felt special.

  “Well, don’t say it too loud. He’ll never wait on us,” I said. “It helps if you smile and look him right in the eyes.”

  I was watching the back of the pavilion and noticed Julie walk up the back steps with her loyal subjects behind her. I expected to see Freckles bringing up the rear, but he was missing in action. I nudged Wendy, and she waved to them. Finally the boy behind the counter approached us.

  “What’ll you girls have tonight?” the boy asked.

  “Two bottles of pop and two buckets of ice, please.” Wendy said.

  He handed us the order and we dropped off one of the bottles of Coke and a bucket of ice at Uncle Butch’s table, then made our way through the growing crowd to our friends with the other bottle of Coke and bucket of ice.

  “Hey,” Julie said nonchalantly as we approached. Then she noticed our dresses and painted nails and smiled. She tapped my shoulder. “Hey, Chris.”

  “Yeah?” I said. It was the first time she called me Chris, and I finally felt like I belonged. I guess she didn’t feel so threatened by me.

  I never belonged in any of the cool groups at school. It was just me and Lisa, The Loners. I couldn’t wait to tell Lisa that I was a bona fide member of the COOL group. I felt popular for the first time in my life.

  “Nice.” Julie was wearing a hip-hugger mini skirt and a halter top, which showed off her flat stomach. Wearing a dress was one thing, but I drew the line at showing my belly button.

  Reds came over to me. “Wow, Chris, you’re prit-a-ful.”

  “What?” Did I hear that right? He thought I was pitiful. This was a disaster.

  Reds stuttered. “I mean, you look pretty. I wanted to say pretty, but I also wanted to say beautiful. Sorry. It came out wrong.”

  “Thanks,” I said shyly. I didn’t realize one little dress and some makeup would make such a big impression.

  Julie leaned close to Tommy and whispered in his ear. She swiped her hair from her forehead. Then she leaned toward Wendy and whispered something I couldn’t hear. Was she saying something about me?

  I tugged on Wendy’s dress for the translation. She obliged. “We’re all going to the river after the dance. We’re going to sneak out early to avoid the adults.”

  Our plan was to leave at seven thirty before the DJ kicked us out, and before the adults could ask us to babysit.

  “Is that allowed?” I don’t know why I asked. It seemed that everything we had done so far wasn’t allowed, but I kept doing them anyway, like some foreigner in a new world, following blindly.

  The DJ tested the microphone and the crowd quieted down. I could feel the buzz all around me like a high voltage wire, vibrating down to my bones.

  Then, as if on cue, Freckles appeared at the table and touched his backpack with confidence. “I got it.”

  “Finally. We were afraid you would let us down,” Julie said. She opened the bottle of Coke and poured it into the cups filled with ice while Freckles lowered them under the table and filled them with whiskey.

  The DJ played the first song and shy looks passed between the girls and boys. The adults jockeyed for position on the dance floor. Couples were already dancing by the time Aunt Lori and Uncle Butch got on the floor, but everyone made room for them as they moved toward the center.

  Our group hung at the edges for what seemed like hours but it really wasn’t that long. I took a few sips of whiskey and Coke, waiting for someone to make the first move. Finally, hands connected, feet shuffled, and the old wood floor buckled and swayed underneath me. Julie and Tommy made the first move, which didn’t surprise me. Julie loved the attention and Tommy liked pleasing Julie. Owl and Wendy slipped in beside them, dancing the swing like everyone else. I’m glad Aunt Lori and Uncle Butch had given us dance lessons.

  A few sips later, Reds put his drink down and innocently tucked his hand into mine. He took my drink from my hand and coaxed me onto the dance floor. As we were dancing, I felt the sweat under my arms, and my footwork was jumbling together.

  “Just relax and follow my lead,” Reds yelled over the music.

  The music was intoxicating, or maybe it was the whiskey, I couldn’t tell and didn’t care. Then something extraordinary happened. I relaxed and remembered the dance lessons my aunt and uncle had given us. I couldn’t dance particularly well, but I could follow easy enough. Excitement raced through my veins, and I smiled at the concept of having a boyfriend. Everything was so new to me, like the sparkling stars I saw on the river my first day.

  By the end of the dance, everyone had paired up the same as last Friday night. Reds pointed to Freckles, who was standing by the black-haired girl in the corner. Then he grabbed my hand and led me off the dance floor to them.

  “Hey, man, what’s up? We’re ready for another drink. How about you?” Reds asked.

  “Been ready,” Freckles said.

  “I’ll pour the pop and you take it from there,” Reds said.
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  “Cool.” Freckles was a soul of few words. Owl and Wendy soon joined us.

  We finished our drinks and as the night continued, we got louder and my head got lighter. We were all dancing together in a circle, each one of us doing our own thing. I liked dancing with a partner, but this was fun too. The music felt like it was coursing through my veins, banging in my heart. Suddenly I was in the middle of the circle. I had become like Julie after all, and I felt like the queen of the dance. When the DJ played a Roy Orbison’s song I started to sing to the words, and pretty soon, I felt both pretty and like a woman. I was twirling and moving and raised my hands up to the ceiling.

  There were other kids at the dance, but they remained on the outskirts because we were the popular group. We were The Untouchables. I had arrived!

  Julie tapped my shoulder. “Okay, dancing queen. Let’s go.”

  I looked over at Aunt Lori and Uncle Butch to see if they were paying attention to us, but they were too busy dancing to notice us.

  One by one we left and waited until the last person was safely out of sight before we headed to the river. The moon was high and bright and the night air was hot and humid. I felt perspiration bead down my back. It was hard to breathe. Julie, who was walking next to Tommy, didn’t seem to sweat like I did, she glistened. But Wendy looked as hot as I felt, and the guys all had wet spots under their arms and down their backs.

  Freckles pulled a flashlight out of his backpack and led the way. After a few minutes, we reached the top of the path and started down single file.

  “Snake,” Freckles said.

  I jumped back, my happy feeling gone. “What? I hate snakes!” I looked down the path and sure enough, there it was in the middle of the path, its head reared up, warning us to keep back. “I’m not going down there.”

  My eyes adjusted in the moonlight. Reds walked toward it.

  “Chris, it won’t hurt you, it’s just a harmless little snake.” He gently grabbed it around the head and held it up, its body curling around his arm. He was a magic snake charmer, and he carefully placed the snake off to the side of the path. It quickly disappeared into the brush. “It’s not even poisonous.” He was gentle with the snake and I knew I could trust him, just like I instinctively knew I could trust Crazy Mary.