Why Not Tonight?

by Jacquie D’Alessandro

  With the music playing softly in the background, Adam sat on the bed, close enough so that their knees bumped. He poured two glasses of wine, while Mallory opened the bag of chocolate.

  “Wow,” she said, unwrapping the silver foil that covered a drop-shaped morsel. “You give orgasms, then provide music, food and drink-and not just any food, but my favorite chocolate? If that’s not from some fantasy catalog, I don’t know what is. The only thing that could make it better would be if this chocolate was calorie free.”

  “Glad you’re pleased. I’ve also provided entertainment.” He waggled the deck of cards he’d brought.

  “You want to play canasta?” She bit her chocolate kiss in half and offered him the other piece. Leaning forward, he clasped her wrist and drew the morsel and her two fingers into his mouth.

  After licking the last bit of chocolate from her fingertips, he said, “This is not your standard deck of cards. This is a Truth or Dare deck.”

  “Uh-oh. I’m not good at that game.”

  “Why? I never thought you’d have trouble telling the truth.”

  “Oh, it’s not the truth part. It’s the dare. I can’t do all that ‘eat a bug’ or ‘drink sour milk’ stuff.”

  “Not to worry. This is the Truth or Dare Lovers’ Edition.”

  10

  Sunday, 1:00 a.m.

  ADAM WATCHED INTEREST kindle in her eyes and he inwardly smiled. When he’d seen the game during his quick shopping trip before driving to her house, he’d figured she would like it. That they both would like it.

  “Truth or Dare Lovers’ Edition,” she repeated. “Sounds like fun.”

  While he shuffled the cards, she fed him another candy kiss then unwrapped one for herself. When he finished mixing the deck, he set it on the bedspread between them. With a grin, he drew the top card. “Ladies first. You want Truth or Dare?”

  “Oh, boy. I’ll take Truth.”

  “Chicken,” he teased. Holding the card toward the candlelight, he read, “What is the first thing you notice in a member of the opposite sex?”

  She pursed her lips and considered. “Depends. If he’s smiling, his smile. If he’s not, then his eyes.”

  Some inner devil made Adam say, “Oh, c’mon. You look at his ass first. Admit it.”

  “Nope. Well, not unless I happen to be behind him, in which case I guess the ass would come first.” She shot a pointed look toward his butt. “Come to think of it, it was the first thing I noticed about you. Your ass looked mighty fine while you were mowing that lawn.”

  “Thanks. And you noticed my smile next, right?” he teased.

  “As a matter of fact, yes. And then, after you took off your sunglasses, your eyes.”

  “And what did you think?”

  Her eyes brimmed with mischief. “You fishing for compliments?”

  “No, just the truth.” He grinned. “Of course, if the truth happens to be complimentary, I won’t complain.”

  “I liked your smile. It was friendly, yet just a little…naughty. Like you had a good sense of humor and didn’t take yourself too seriously. But it was your eyes that really got me.”

  “Got you how?”

  She took a sip of wine, studying him over the rim of her glass while she swallowed. “You really are fishing. I can’t be the only woman who’s ever told you that your eyes are…lovely.”

  No, but he couldn’t recall the name of even one of those women. He shrugged. “I’m not fishing. I guess I’ve just never understood what was so great about them. I mean, they do what they’re supposed to do and they’re blue. Big deal.”

  “For me, it didn’t have so much to do with their color-although I’ve always liked blue eyes.”

  “Then what?”

  “I don’t know exactly how to describe it. I guess it was a combination of their teasing expression-but teasing in a nice, friendly way-and how they sort of crinkled up at the corners when you smiled. I was the new girl in town and you immediately made me feel at ease. Made me laugh. I suppose the best way to say it is that your eyes were…are…kind.”

  He sat there, wineglass in hand, without a clue how to respond to her unexpected words. Words that touched him and washed deep pleasure through him.

  Before he could think of a reply, she shot him a saucy wink and smiled. “Of course, the fact that they’re a bedroomy blue didn’t hurt, either.” She reached out for a card. “Truth or Dare?”

  He took a swallow of wine to wet his dry throat, then said, “Dare.”

  Her gaze scanned the words and a slow smile curved her lips. “Massage your lover’s shoulders for one minute while talking about how much you’re enjoying it.” Chuckling, she shifted around to present her back to him. “Works out well for me.”

  “And hardly a hardship for me.” Setting his glass aside, he reached out and lightly kneaded her shoulders, smiling when she let out a long sigh of pleasure. In keeping with his dare, he said, “I’m enjoying this because of that sound you make when you like something. That breathy vibration that’s sort of a sigh, but deeper. Sexier. Like a growl. And the way your skin feels…so soft. Smooth. Makes me wonder what you put on it to make it feel so good beneath my hands.”

  He shifted closer and massaged her with a slightly stronger stroke. Her head fell forward and she groaned. “Now that’s a sound that could make a man drop everything and devote himself to making you groan like that again. And presenting the back of your neck like this…” He brushed her hair aside and kissed her beauty mark. “Very enjoyable.” After dropping another kiss to her fragrant neck he sat back.

  “That wasn’t a minute already,” she protested.

  “Actually it was more like two minutes.”

  “Oh. Darn.” With a sigh, she turned around to face him. “You’ve got great hands.”

  “You’ve got great shoulders. Among other things.” He smiled and drew a card. “Truth or Dare?”

  “Since you called me a chicken last time, I feel the need to recapture my honor. Dare.”

  Adam scanned the card then shook his head. “Man, you’re getting off easy with this one.”

  “What do I have to do?”

  “You’re a fashion critic,” he read. “Critique your lover’s outfit.”

  She made a great show of slowly looking over the towel wrapped around his hips. Then she cleared her throat. “Dressed in the latest in white terry cloth from Bed, Bath & Beyond, my lover makes those Calvin Klein underwear models look like rank amateurs. The way this particular outfit leaves his chest bare…” Reaching out, she slowly dragged her fingertips over his shoulders then circled them slowly around his nipples. Her fingers continued lower, over his abdomen, to tickle across the skin just above the towel’s edge, causing his muscles to spasm involuntarily beneath her feathery caress.

  “Very nice,” she said in a throaty voice that could only be described as a purr. “As is the way the material hugs his hips and legs.” Her hand trailed over the terry cloth, then slipped beneath the material to run up his inner thigh. When she cupped him in her warm hand, he sucked in a sharp breath.

  “The easy access to his…attributes is definitely a plus. All in all, a very sexy fashion statement that he wears very, very well.”

  She slowly withdrew her hand, smiling first at his very obvious erection that tented his towel, then raising her gaze to smile at him.

  It took a few seconds to find his voice. “I thought you said you weren’t good at this game.”

  “Maybe I was wrong.”

  “Sweetheart, there’s no maybe about it.”

  Still smiling, she drew a card. “Truth or Dare?”

  “I think I’d better try a Truth this time.”

  “Finish the poem. ‘Roses are red, violets are blue…’”

  He didn’t even have to think about it. “I want to make love again with you.”

  She clapped. “Wow, and it rhymed and everything.”

  “Sure did. Now pay up.”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “We
haven’t finished the game.”

  “Fine. But consider this fair warning-I’m not going to last much longer.” He drew a card. “Truth or Dare?”

  “Truth.”

  “Who was the first person to break your heart?”

  Her smile faltered, then slowly faded. Her gaze skittered away from his and after what felt like a long and somehow awkward silence but was surely no more than ten seconds, she finally met his gaze and said, “You.”

  He made no attempt to hide his surprise. “Me?”

  “You.”

  “I broke your heart.”

  “Yes. You did.”

  “When? How?”

  “What difference does it make now? I answered the question truthfully, so let’s move on.”

  “It makes a difference because I didn’t know. Tell me.”

  She shrugged. “Let’s just say I was pretty crushed when you said you thought we should free each other up to date other people.”

  A weird hollow feeling invaded his chest. “You were?”

  She shrugged again and smiled. “Hey, no girl likes to get dumped.”

  His eyebrows jerked down in a frown and he stared at her. “I didn’t dump you, Mallory.”

  “No? What else do you call it when your boyfriend says he wants to be friends? Wants you both to be free to date other people? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to read between the lines.”

  “We mutually agreed, given our ages and situations that it would be better to cool things off. Not to tie each other down.”

  “It was painfully obvious there was more to it than that, Adam. But since that was the only explanation you’d give me, I had to go with it. What you call ‘mutually agreed,’ I call ‘you decided.’”

  “But you agreed! Wholeheartedly, as I recall.”

  “What did you expect me to do? Clearly you wanted freedom or you wouldn’t have broached the subject. Unless I wanted to come off as desperate and clinging-which I wasn’t about to do-I didn’t have much choice. I might not have had much pride, but I had a little. I’d already been dumped once that summer by my Chicago boyfriend. Twice was just a bit too much humiliation to take.”

  “Wait a minute. Your Chicago guy didn’t dump you-you broke up with him.”

  She shook her head. “No. I’d intended to break up with him. Because of my feelings for you. But before I had a chance to tell him, he called me. Told me he’d met someone else. Not that I was heartbroken, or even surprised, but still. But with you…well, I was both.”

  “Heartbroken? Don’t you think that’s an exaggeration? I mean, you sure regrouped fast enough.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “Meaning when I called you your second week at school, you were already dating some other guy. You told me how great he was. How much you liked him. What a terrific time you were having together.” And even after all these years, he still recalled how deeply her words had hurt.

  She nibbled on her bottom lip, then shifted her gaze to look down at her hands. “I might have overstated things a bit.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She blew out a long sigh, then raised her head to meet his gaze. “I made him up. I wasn’t dating anyone.”

  He felt as if everything inside him shifted. “You weren’t?”

  “No. But when you called, the thought of having to listen to the man I loved tell me how many sophisticated women he was meeting at his new high-powered Wall Street job…well, I couldn’t stand to hear it. Especially since all I’d done for those two weeks was cry into my pillow. So I beat you to the punch.”

  He went perfectly still. Had she just said…? “The man you loved? You were in love with me?”

  She made a self-conscious sound. “I was crazy in love with you.”

  It took him several erratic heartbeats to find his voice. “You never told me that.”

  “I never said the words. But I tried to show you in every way I could.”

  He cast his mind back and he realized that she had shown him. In dozens of ways. With thoughtful gestures. Home-baked cookies. Handwritten notes. With countless smiles. And with her body…

  “Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked, his voice a gruff rasp.

  She took several seconds before answering. “I was afraid. Of scaring you off. Of being rejected. Afraid it was too much too soon. Believe me, I was very conscious of our different situations-you’d already graduated college and were starting your career and I’d just graduated from high school. The last thing I wanted was to come off like some lovelorn teenage coed. So I decided I’d just wait for you to tell me first.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips. “Except you never did. Instead you told me we should be friends and see other people.” She winced. “Ouch.”

  Before he could say anything, she huffed out a laugh and shook her head. “I have no idea why I told you all that. It’s not like it matters after all these years.”

  “You told me because I asked.” But she was right. It didn’t matter after all these years.

  Did it?

  No, of course not.

  Still, he felt like he owed her the same truth she’d given him. “When I called you at school, Mallory…it wasn’t to tell you how many sophisticated women I was meeting at my new job.”

  “Oh? Why had you called?”

  “Because I’d realized I’d made a mistake.” He raked his hand through his hair. “That I loved you and was miserable without you. And that I didn’t want to be with anyone else.”

  Her eyes widened and even in the dim candlelight he saw her face pale. “Oh…my. Why didn’t you say something when you phoned?”

  “What was I supposed to say after you’d waxed poetic about your incredible new man?”

  She stared at him for several long seconds, looking stunned and slightly dazed. Then she made a humorless sound. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

  “Yeah. I’ll be damned.” His head was spinning, trying to wrap around what she’d told him.

  She’d been in love with him. Crazy in love with him. God. He briefly squeezed his eyes shut, experiencing a strange sensation that felt like some sort of internal malfunction.

  “How long had you been in love with me?” she asked, her voice sounding hoarse.

  Since the minute I saw you. Since the first time you smiled at me. From the moment I touched you. “Awhile.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He shook his head. “Same reason you didn’t tell me. What I felt for you, the depth of my feelings, scared the hell out of me.”

  Reaching out, he took her hands and entwined their fingers. “I’m sorry, Mallory. I didn’t realize you cared that much. I should have, but…what can I say? I was an idiot. I thought putting some distance between us would help me get my head back on straight, but all it did was make me was miserable. And then it was too late. I never meant to hurt you.”

  She swallowed. “Seems like I hurt you, too, and I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t claim to have a new guy in order to hurt you. I only did it to protect myself. Because you didn’t want me anymore.”

  Didn’t want her anymore. He felt as if he’d been turned inside out. “God. Mallory, nothing could have been further from the truth. The problem was that I wanted you too much.”

  And all he’d accomplished was to break her heart. Hell, it hurt just to think about that. And break his own heart in the process. It hurt to think about that, too. Which was ridiculous. It shouldn’t hurt after all these years.

  Damn. He wasn’t at all sure he was happy to know all this. Especially since the knowledge set up a rapid-fire sequence of questions in his mind, all of which started with the words what if?

  What if he hadn’t suggested they give each other their freedom?

  What if she hadn’t agreed?

  What if he’d told her he was in love with her?

  What if-

  She lightly squeezed his hands, cutting off his thoughts. Then sliding her fingers from his, she gave a light laugh. “Look at us, so s
erious and caught up in the past. It all happened so long ago and what’s done is done. The good news is that we managed to remain friends. How many former lovers can make that claim?”

  He didn’t know. He didn’t care. All he knew was that he felt…undone. And couldn’t shake this profound, disturbing sense that he’d lost something very, very special.

  The silence between them was broken by the radio announcer’s smooth voice. “Here’s the latest blackout update-technicians are working to restore power, but there’re still no estimates as to when the system will go back on line. Hopefully you’re somewhere you can light a few more candles and make the most of the dark. Give us a call here at Sensuous Songs and Decadent Dedications and we’ll play something to help you set the mood for seduction. Our next dedication goes out to Mallory from Adam. Mallory, Adam requested this song because it’s always reminded him of you.” The announcer chuckled softly. “Guess we can all figure out what color eyes Mallory has. Here’s Van Morrison’s ‘Brown Eyed Girl’…”

  Mallory stared at the radio and her heart performed a slow somersault. She still hadn’t recovered from Adam’s mind-boggling confession that he’d been in love with her, had cooled off their relationship not from lack of feeling but out of fear, and now this romantic gesture. She turned toward him and even though she knew he’d requested the song, she asked, “Is this from Adam to Mallory as in from you to me?”

  “You know any other Adam and a brown-eyed Mallory?”

  “When did you call in?”

  “When I went to the kitchen.” Without taking his gaze from her, he stood and held out his hand. “Wanna dance? For old times’ sake?”

  Not entirely trusting her voice, she nodded, then shifted to the edge of the bed and stood. She put her hand in his and he drew her closer, setting their joined hands against his chest and wrapping his free arm around her waist. She skimmed her other hand up and over his shoulder to encircle his neck then closed her eyes and rested her temple against his jaw.