Light After Dark: Gansett Island Series, Book 16

by Marie Force

  “I bet this steak was good five hours ago,” she said, enjoying the view of him in the light of the single candle she’d placed on the table.

  “But the potatoes wouldn’t have been as crispy.”

  “Very true. I’m actually a much better cook than this meal would indicate.”

  “This is the best dinner I’ve had since the last one I had with you.” He sat close enough to lean in for a kiss. “Thanks for cooking for me.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “And thanks for letting me stay here.”

  “You’re very difficult to have around, but somehow I’ll cope.”

  “Gee, thanks.” He took another bite of crispy potato before he put down his fork and sat back in his chair to take a scrutinizing look at her.

  “Do I have potato on my face or something?”

  Quinn shook his head. “I just like to look at you.” He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “I meant what I said before.”

  “What in particular? Lots of things were said ‘before.’”

  “That this could be something amazing—and important. To me, anyway.”

  “To me, too. It already is.”

  “Why do I feel a gigantic ‘but’ lingering in the midst of it?”

  “No buts.”

  Raising a brow, he said, “None at all?”

  “Not for today or tonight or tomorrow. Beyond that, I don’t know. I’m taking things a day at a time right now until I figure out a plan.”

  He rubbed his lips on the back of her hand, and that was all it took to make her want him again. “I hope you’ll keep me informed of your plans.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “I’m totally remiss in not asking how the first day at work went before now.”

  “It was good. I liked it.”

  “Any good calls?”

  “Only one today, for an elderly woman who had fallen at home, but Mason said that’s a rare day. We’ll usually get at least two or three calls in a shift before the season begins in earnest, and then it’s anyone’s guess.”

  “They must be thrilled to have someone with your level of experience working with them.”

  “They are. Mason asked me to do some training for the team, which I’m happy to do.”

  “Mason this, Mason that. Are you sure you’re just friends with that big guy?”

  “You sound like a jealous boyfriend.”

  “Maybe I am.”

  “What? Jealous or my boyfriend?”

  “Could I be both?”

  “Do you want to be?”

  “I could live without the jealousy, but I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

  “I haven’t had one in a long time.”

  “That works out well, because I haven’t been one in a long time.”

  “Have you ever been in love?”

  “Twice. Once in college and once when I was first in the army and thought I might get married.”

  “What happened?”

  “The college romance fizzled after we graduated, and the army romance fizzled when she married someone else while I was deployed.”

  Mallory winced. “Ouch.”

  “That was a low point, but I learned a big lesson not to let myself get too involved with anyone, which was the beginning of another low point of too much sex and not enough humanity.”

  “I admire the way you talk so freely about your shortcomings. Not a lot of guys will do that, especially badass army trauma surgeons. Usually, there’s more swagger than introspection.”

  His eyes sparkled with amusement. “And you’ve known a lot of badass army trauma surgeons?”

  “A few here and there.”

  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from AA, it’s humility. I’m a badass in the OR—or I was at one time—but when it comes to life, I’ve been somewhat of a fuckup. I’d like to think that phase is behind me now.”

  “No one gets to almost forty without a few hard knocks along the way.”

  “True.” He continued to hold her hand and kiss the back of it and basically distract her with only his lips brushing up against her skin. “We ought to do something really cool for our fortieth birthdays. How often do you meet someone who was born on the exact same day as you?”

  “Not very often. What would count as something really cool?”

  “I don’t know. Like a trip or a big party or… something.”

  “You’ll be getting ready to open your facility right around the time of our birthday.”

  “We could work around that. I’ll make the time. Turning forty is a big deal. It ought to be celebrated.”

  “Ugh, do we have to? I’d prefer to forget all about it.”

  “One thing that surviving a serious injury teaches you is to enjoy every moment and celebrate the milestones.”

  “When you put it that way, forty doesn’t look so bad. Ryan didn’t even make it to thirty, so I guess I shouldn’t complain.”

  “Being forty definitely beats the alternative, and besides, if you let me, I’ll hold your hand through it and make it not so bad.”

  Mallory looked down at their joined hands and then up at his handsome face to find him gazing at her with true affection. “That’d be nice.”

  “See? You do like me. You want to keep me around until August.”

  “I never said that,” she replied with a teasing smile.

  “Yes, you did.” He yawned dramatically and released her hand to stretch his arms above his head. “I’m exhausted. You’d better get me back to bed, nurse Mallory.”

  Rolling her eyes at him, she got up to see to the dishes and cut up the leftover steak for Brutus, who devoured the pieces she put in his bowl. She was standing at the sink when she felt Quinn behind her.

  Propped on the crutches, he hooked an arm around her waist and kissed her neck, sending goose bumps down her spine. “Thanks for such a great night.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I didn’t do anything.”

  “Um, I seem to recall you doing a few things.”

  His low laugh rumbled through his chest and vibrated against her. He pressed his cock against her back. “I might need you to refresh my memory.”

  She would be sore and tired tomorrow, but that didn’t stop her from abandoning the dishes to follow him back to bed.

  Chapter 24

  The following week, Quinn led Jared and Lizzie on a tour of the now fully renovated building that would open to patients in a few short months. He was finally off the crutches and walking, albeit carefully, on his prosthetic leg again. His stump still hurt, but not like it had at first.

  “Everything looks so good,” Lizzie said, taking in the new plaster, paint, tile, crown molding, doors and windows. “Mac and his company did a beautiful job.”

  “They certainly did. They were on budget and on schedule.”

  “Mac had the incentive of needing to be free and clear by the time the marina opened for the season,” Jared said.

  “Where are we with hiring?” Lizzie asked.

  “I met with the recruiter last week, as you know, and I’ve offered the director of nursing position to someone we’d be very lucky to have.”

  “Anyone we know?” Jared asked.

  “Maybe,” he said, smiling as he thought of Mallory. After seven nights in her bed, he hadn’t begun to sate the desire she stirred in him. He told himself the longing he felt for her had no resemblance whatsoever to the past, when he’d been all about the sex and had no regard for the women he did it with.

  This was totally different because it was all about her. He didn’t just love sleeping with her—and having sex with her. He also loved their conversations about life and loss and figuring out the way forward when your whole life had been upended. They had far more in common than their birthdays and their alcoholism, and he’d found comfort in being with someone who understood what it was like to stand at a crossroads and not know for certain that you were taking the right path. He liked that they wer
e figuring it out together one day at a time, the way they’d been taught in AA.

  “Are you going to tell us, or keep us in suspense?” Lizzie asked.

  “I know better than to try to keep you in suspense.”

  “You’re learning, bro,” Jared said. “She’s worse than a CSI investigator when someone holds out on her.”

  “I suppose that’s better than when he says I’m like a dog with a bone,” Lizzie said with a long-suffering sigh. “Now spill the beans, Quinn.”

  He smiled at her feistiness. “I asked Mallory if she’d be interested.”

  “Mallory, as in your girlfriend, Mallory, who you are currently living with?” Jared asked.

  Quinn wasn’t sure if his brother was expressing approval or disapproval, but he honestly didn’t care either way. “One and the same.”

  “She’d be fantastic,” Lizzie said. “I heard she ran the ER at one of the big hospitals in Providence for years.”

  “She did,” Quinn confirmed. “Not only does she have management-level nursing experience, but she’s also a medical school graduate and a certified paramedic. In fact, she’s probably overqualified for the job.”

  “We can make it worth her while, can’t we, Jared?” Lizzie asked.

  “Of course, my love,” he said indulgently. “Whatever you want.”

  “Seriously! We can’t let someone like her slip through our fingers.”

  “I’ve made the offer, and she’s asked for some time to think about it. She was laid off in May and is still getting her bearings while she works on the rescue for the summer. I’m trying not to push her to decide anything before she’s ready.”

  That was true for their personal relationship, as well. In all the time they’d spent together recently, they hadn’t once spoken of what would happen at the end of the summer. He kept thinking they had plenty of time to figure that out, but with every minute—and every night—he spent with her, he wanted more. He wanted to know that what they were building together was more than a summer fling. However, as much as he wanted those answers, he knew better than to push her to make decisions before she was ready.

  Patience, he thought. This situation required more patience than he’d ever needed before, except for after he lost his leg and wanted to be back up and at it right away, even if that wasn’t possible. He’d gotten through that and could be patient for her, because that was what she needed, but it wasn’t easy. After so many years on his own, he’d finally found someone who made him not want to be alone anymore, and he wanted to go all in with her.

  “How are things going with you two?” Lizzie asked in a deceptively casual tone.

  “Careful, bro,” Jared said as he wandered over to check out the view from one of the future patient rooms.

  “Hush, Jared. I’m talking to Quinn, not you.”

  Jared chuckled under his breath, but they both heard him.

  “It’s going well, if you must know. I like her. She likes me. We have fun together.”

  “Is that all it is? Summer fun?”

  Her question struck at the heart of his insecurities where Mallory was concerned.

  “I guess we’ll find out in September, won’t we?”

  “Quinn…”

  “It’s okay, Lizzie. I’m happy with it the way it is.” For now, he thought. Mallory had been a great help to him at the meeting with the recruiter and had been an excellent sounding board for questions he had afterward. At some point, he’d have to hold her feet to the fire about the job—and what was happening between them. Neither had to happen today or even tomorrow. But he hoped he had answers sooner rather than later in both cases.

  *

  Mallory took the stairs to the second floor, where her uncle Kevin had rented office space over the South Harbor Diner to open his psychiatry practice. She’d called to see if he had time to chat since today was one of her days off from the rescue. He’d told her to come right over, which had set off a flurry of nerves. She’d expected to make an appointment for next week, but apparently family had head-of-the-line privileges.

  She knocked on the door to his office, and he called for her to come in.

  “Hi there,” she said to her uncle, who was the youngest of Big Mac’s two brothers.

  He jumped up from his desk to greet her with a hug and a kiss. “This is a nice surprise.” Ushering her to a seating area that included several easy chairs, he encouraged her to have a seat and then sat across from her.

  Mallory was still getting used to the easy affection that her family members doled out, as if they’d known her all her life rather than just a year. “Thanks for squeezing me in.”

  “They’re hardly lining up at the door—yet,” he said with a chuckle.

  “I’m sure they will be once the word gets out.”

  Kevin shrugged. “Either way, it’s fine. I’m happy to be partially retired and working when I feel like it rather than because I have to.”

  “That sounds like an ideal existence.”

  “It is for me. I get to spend lots of time with Chelsea when she’s not working and can pick and choose my hours here.”

  “So you’re here to stay, then?”

  “Looks that way. My ex-wife and I are selling our house in Connecticut, and I’m looking to buy something here. My brothers are here, my sons are here, my nieces and nephews are here. Why would I want to be anywhere else?”

  “So Riley and Finn are planning to stick around, too?”

  “Mac’s construction company is keeping them so busy that they haven’t mentioned going back to Connecticut in a couple of months now. I think the island is starting to feel like home to them.”

  “I’m beginning to feel the same way myself.”

  “Ohhh, your dad will be so happy to hear that.”

  “Don’t tell him quite yet.”

  Kevin ran his fingers over his lips. “I would never repeat anything we talk about, Mallory. I hope you know you can trust me with anything that’s on your mind.”

  She smiled at him. “So you’ve figured out this isn’t a social call?”

  “I had a sneaking suspicion. What can I do for you?”

  “Linda actually suggested I talk to you a while ago about some unresolved issues I have with the way my mother handled telling me about my father.”

  “She told you in a letter after she died, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Had you asked her about him?”

  “Only my entire life. I always wanted to know who he was, but she was evasive and said she’d tell me when the time was right. As I got older and busy with school and work and life, I asked less often, but I still wondered. There was always a huge hole where he should’ve been, you know?”

  “I can imagine.”

  “She did everything for me. She was the best possible mother I could’ve had, and when I think of her now, I seethe with anger. It’s like the anger is all that’s left of her now that I’ve met my dad and all of you. Now that I know what I missed out on my whole life, I’m so, so angry with her for keeping me from him. And I hate myself for feeling that way toward her.”

  “You can’t help the way you feel.”

  “I know, but it still makes me feel guilty when she’s not here to defend herself.”

  “What do you think she’d say if she was here?”

  Mallory thought about that for a moment. “She’d probably apologize.”

  “Would that help?”

  “Not really. It wouldn’t change anything.”

  “Why do you suppose she didn’t tell you?”

  “She was afraid I’d choose him over her, and she’d be all alone, or so I assume. Her family rejected her when she got pregnant, so it was really just her and me. I wouldn’t have left her alone. I would’ve wanted both of them in my life.”

  “But she couldn’t know that for sure, right? When you were say, ten, she might’ve thought, this would be a good time to introduce Mallory to her father, but what if she decides she’d rat
her live on Gansett with him and his family than here in Providence with me? Maybe I should wait a little longer…”

  “How does a little longer become almost forty years?”

  “That I can’t tell you, and neither can she, thus your anger.”

  “I keep thinking I should get over it. We all know you can’t change the past, and she did what she did for reasons that were valid to her. I get that. But every time I hear my siblings talk about things that happened years ago, the anger comes surging back to the surface again.”

  “Let’s talk about that. You know that you wouldn’t have been with them all the time. Even if your mom had told you about your dad sooner, they’d still have stories and family things that you weren’t part of, right?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “You would’ve been with your mom at least half the time, if not more. You would’ve missed out on half of what went on with your siblings.”

  “At least I would’ve known them,” she said, blinking back tears. “I would’ve liked to have known them. And the rest of you, too, especially my dad.”

  “I know,” he said gently, “and what I think might be happening is in addition to grieving the loss of your mother, you’re grieving the loss of what you should’ve had with your dad and the rest of your family. Do you think that’s possible?”

  “Probably.” She wiped away tears. “I tell myself that what I have now is enough. It’s more than I ever could’ve hoped for when I came looking for my dad.”

  “And yet you’re still angry.”

  Mallory laughed even as she wiped away new tears. “And yet I’m still angry.”

  “You know what might help? If you wrote her a letter and told her everything you’re thinking and feeling about what she did. Maybe if you got it all out there and off your chest, you might be able to get past the anger.”

  “That’s an interesting idea.” Especially in light of her habit of writing things down, Mallory thought.

  “It might also help you to know that you’re not the only one who has had some anger with how this was handled.”