“What look? I didn’t know I have a look,” I replied.
“You totally have a look,” Ettie agreed. “You bite your lip and you scrunch your nose up like you’re trying to work something out in your head. I’d say poker is out for you, babe.” She smiled, though concern clouded her expression.
I was floored at how intimately these women knew me, maybe in some instances better than I knew myself.
“I got a threatening text from Tim, or at least I assume it had to be Tim,” I shared with a sigh.
A collective gasp sounded around the table.
“Cal is… well, he’s taking care of it,” I told them. “And I think I’m going to let him.”
“Finally!” Scarlet squealed, her beautiful green eyes bright with excitement. “Cole said he stayed with you last night.”
“What?” Sophie demanded, nearly bouncing out of her chair.
I held up a hand. “He did. On the couch,” I clarified. “Someone let the cat out of the bag that Tim disappeared.” I glanced accusingly around the table. When four sets of eyes looked innocently back at me I continued, “Anyway, he kind of pushed his way in. We spent the morning together and after the text, I agreed that Bubs and I would stay with him for a bit. Just until it’s safe.”
“Wow,” Kat breathed. “And Sal is trying to trace the text?” she surmised.
I nodded.
“I hope Cal gets his hands around that asshole’s neck,” Sophie muttered quietly.
I couldn’t say I disagreed.
“How are you feeling about things with Cal?” Scarlet asked gently.
I gazed at the expanse of the desert beyond. “Still confused. I guess we’ll just see. I have a lot on my plate and a lot of my past to work through. Hell, my past is still my present, as much as I wish it weren’t.”
I looked down at my hands in my lap.
“I’m not sure if he’ll want to handle it all once I tell him everything.”
Sophie reached over and squeezed my shoulder briefly. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to see,” she murmured.
I bit my lip and nodded. “Can we talk about something else? Where’s Connie? I know Piper and Ry are in San Diego visiting her dad.”
Ettie nodded. “Con’s at a doctor’s appointment with Wes. They’re finding out what they’re having.” She grinned.
I smiled, happy for my friend. “My bet’s on a girl. Poor overprotective Wes will be in deep with two women to look after.”
Scarlet laughed ruefully. As mother of a little girl and wife of an MC vice president, she knew exactly what I was talking about. “Cole dodged a bullet with this one,” she said, patting her pregnant belly. “He’s getting a boy this time.”
“Like he’ll be any less protective.” Kat snorted.
“True,” she agreed, just as Cole and Cal emerged from the building. “Hi, baby,” she greeted her husband, warmth permeating her gaze.
A slow grin spread over Cole’s face as he ambled over to drop a kiss on her lips.
With his blond hair and blue eyes, Cole was a gorgeous man and held a striking resemblance to his father.
But I’d only ever had eyes for Cal.
“Ready?” Cal’s deep rasp of a voice was like music to my ears.
“Yeah.” I nodded, watching as Cal walked over to Mason and picked him up, the movement so natural it momentarily floored me. “Uh, right, okay,” I stammered as I grabbed my purse. “See you guys later,” I added in parting, with a wave toward my friends.
“Let’s do a girls’ night soon—it’s been too long,” Scarlet called after us.
“Sure,” I agreed as vaguely as I usually did.
It was hard for me to find someone to watch Mason when everyone who usually watched him was part of the girls’ night. I usually skipped out on those plans, not wanting to put anyone out.
Cal’s warm hand on my lower back as he guided me out of the building and to his SUV was like an electric current running up my spine.
He opened my door for me. “I’ll get Bubs in,” he informed me.
The help was both welcome and terrifying.
I couldn’t get used to it.
I didn’t want Mason to get used to it.
I wasn’t sure how long Cal would be around. I didn’t know what was happening between us. I didn’t want to invite further instability into my son’s life.
Though I’d shielded him as much as I could when I’d been with Tim, I still worried about any impact my poisonous marriage could have had on him. I wanted the rest of his life to be filled with stability. I wanted him to know love and to be loved.
And I needed him safe.
Chapter 9
Cal’s home sat on the west side of town on a large plot of land. With the mountains as a backdrop, the sprawling ranch-style home was a gorgeous complement to the desert landscape.
When we walked inside, we were met with high ceilings and an open concept space with hardwoods floors that led to a gourmet kitchen.
“You cook?” I asked with a raised brow as my hand drifted over the granite countertops, eyeing the high-end appliances with envy.
“Ah, no.” He chuckled. “Bought the place that way. Microwave and grill work great, that’s about all I can say.”
“Few dust bunnies in the oven then?” I teased.
“A few,” he replied, watching me intently. “Do you like it? I want you and Bubs to be comfortable here.”
His concern warmed me and eased some of the nerves running rampant in my belly. “It’s a beautiful place, Cal,” I assured him.
He nodded, relief evident in his eyes. “Let me show you the bedrooms.”
He led me down a hallway, stopping in front of the first bedroom on the right. “My room’s at the end of the hall,” he explained, and I could swear his voice was an octave deeper. “Until you’re ready to sleep in there with me, I thought this room would be most comfortable for you.”
My heart hammered in my chest as I looked past him into a nice-sized room outfitted with a double bed.
“Mason can have his own room. I already have a crib set up for when Gracie spends the night. He should have everything he needs.”
“Are you sure we’re not putting you out?” I fretted.
He chuckled. “No, babe.” He took a step closer. “You should know by now, having you under my roof is exactly the way I want it.”
I was beginning to get that sense.
Mason squirmed in my arms and Cal reached for him. “Let’s show Bubs his room.”
****
I couldn’t sleep.
After a simple dinner, I’d put Mason to bed and disappeared into my temporary bedroom, desperate for some time to collect myself. Now, it was hours later and I’d been staring at the ceiling for longer than I cared to contemplate.
I needed air.
I padded quietly out to the gorgeous backyard Cal had shown me earlier, complete with a swimming pool.
Seated comfortably in one of his patio chairs, I knew the mountains sprawled out ahead, shrouded in darkness. I pondered the stars twinkling brightly above in the clear night sky.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting out there when the sliding door opened quietly behind me. I fought the urge to look over as Cal pulled a chair close to mine and sat beside me.
When he reached for me, his strong callused hand lacing with mine, I felt an immediate sense of calm. I looked over at him. Dressed in jeans that he’d clearly thrown back on and nothing else, his hair mussed with sleep, he was the most gorgeous sight I’d ever seen.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
I shook my head, looking back up at the sky. “Happens a lot,” I admitted.
His hand squeezed mine. I expected him to press, but he didn’t. Instead we sat in silence, comfortable to let the minutes stretch between us.
I was accustomed to spending sleepless nights alone when my darkest thoughts made themselves known. There was something immensely comforting to have his silent presence beside me a
nd his hand holding mine.
“This is a much nicer view than the ceiling,” I murmured finally.
He chuckled. “I’d imagine it is. Is that your typical view when you can’t sleep?”
“Usually.” I nodded. “Sometimes I just stare at Mason. He’s so peaceful when he’s sleeping.” I turned to him. “Do you think that’s strange?”
He looked back at me. “No, darlin’. I’d think it strange if a mama didn’t want to look at her boy.”
His simple words hinted at a much larger story to be told.
“And you know something about that?” I surmised cautiously.
He ran his free hand through his hair, his fingers catching on the tangles before he simply ran a palm over the top, leaving a path of unruliness that made him all the more handsome. He pondered my question as though searching for a way to begin. “Cole’s mom and I—we were so goddamned young. Not even out of high school when she got pregnant. I’d like to think I loved her, but I was a fucking kid.” He shook his head ruefully. “What I did know was that I wanted him. I never doubted that. I knew we could make it work. Our parents were both shit but I had a decent job at a garage here in town. I wanted to make a go of it. I needed to.
“After Cole was born—he changed my world. He gave me a purpose I hadn’t had before. It didn’t matter how young I was, I wanted to be the best father I could be. Unlike what I’d had.”
I held perfectly still, afraid if I moved an inch he’d stop talking, and I desperately wanted to hear more.
“Chrissy, she just wasn’t happy.” He sighed, looking up at the sky, his thumb tracing over the top of my hand. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to soothe me or himself. “I hadn’t had much exposure to loving parents but I knew the way she looked at him wasn’t right. She just never… took to him. When she up and left, I figured it was for the best.”
I sucked in a breath, my heart breaking for him and Cole.
He turned to me. “So, you stare at that boy all you want, honey. I know you have things in your past you’re not proud of. I know you’re harder on yourself than anyone I’ve ever met. But I’ll tell you right now—I’ve never seen a finer mother.”
I didn’t even try to speak, knowing it was impossible. Instead I gripped his hand like a lifeline, needing the connection as his words took root somewhere deep, somewhere long buried, if it had ever existed at all.
After another moment he stood up, reaching down to me. “What do you say we try to get some sleep?”
I nodded, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up. We walked back into the house, hand in hand, and down the hall.
When we reached my door his hands cupped my jaw, drawing my face upwards. His lips met mine in a soft, all too quick kiss. “Night, babe.”
“Night,” I managed to reply despite the racing of my heart and shaking of my knees.
Shit, if I reacted like that to a peck, what the hell would happen when he really kissed me?
Chapter 10
“Have dinner with me.” His voice sounded from behind me as I poured a cup of coffee the next morning. Mason sat babbling in his high chair, comfortable as could be in his new surroundings.
I continued to fix my coffee until the blush on my cheeks died down some. “Are you asking?” I demanded lightly, finally turning to face him.
He grinned. “No.”
“Well then, I can’t answer you, can I?” I replied with a shrug, trying to hide my smile as I took a sip of my coffee.
“Christ, woman,” he muttered. “Full of stubbornness and sass.”
“But it’s cute on me, right?” I reminded him. “I’ll have dinner with you,” I added, surprised at how excited I was by the prospect. “As long as I can find someone to watch Bubs.”
His slow grin returned. “Already taken care of. Axel will come pick him up on his way home from the club.”
“Wait, we’re going out tonight?” I replied in surprise.
“We have to eat, don’t we? Speaking of which, when are those muffins you have baking ready? I’m starved.” He sat back and rubbed his firm stomach.
“Soon.” I laughed. “You can’t rush perfection.”
“Oh darlin’, of that I have no doubt.”
****
I felt like a teenager getting ready that night. It had been years since I’d been on a date and this was with Cal. Axel had picked Mason up, planning to take him up to their house for the night.
After a long shower that didn’t soothe my frayed nerves, I contemplated what to wear. I settled on my gray skinny jeans with a white button-up blouse tucked into them. My chunky brown belt and ankle boots finished the look.
I regarded myself in the mirror. With my Native American roots my skin was a light caramel brown. The girls always said I looked younger than my thirty-two years. Being that most of my friends were younger than me, I’d take the compliment gratefully. My long black hair hung straight down my back. I debated doing something with it, but decided I didn’t want to look too overdone. I swept some eyeliner and mascara on my dark eyes and put a light gloss on my full lips. I rarely wore much makeup.
When I wandered out to the kitchen, Cal was leaning against the fridge eating another muffin. Dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, he was edible.
“I’m going to have to double the batch next time.” I laughed.
He shook his head, swallowing the last bite. “If you keep baking like this I’m going to have to double my workouts.” He chuckled.
I couldn’t imagine what more he could do to improve his physique.
“Glad you approve.” His eyes shone with delight.
Holy hell, had I said that out loud?
“Ready?” I asked, trying to push past my embarrassment.
He nodded, his eyes sweeping appreciatively over my frame. “We’re taking the bike.”
A thrill shot through me at the prospect as we headed for the garage.
He put my helmet on for me, standing a breath away. He dropped his head, delivering a quick kiss to my lips before he swung a muscular leg over the bike.
I shook myself out of the haze he’d created and swung up behind him, wrapping my arms around his torso.
We tore through town, the night air warm with a hint of summer. I hadn’t asked where we were going. I honestly didn’t care. I was content to ride with him, enjoying the rumble of the engine and the feeling of him in my arms.
We pulled up to a small, nondescript restaurant outside of Reno.
“What is this place?” I asked after I’d gotten off the bike and was working on my helmet.
“Best Mexican food in Nevada,” he replied, taking my hand and leading me inside. I hadn’t had good Mexican food in so long. My mouth watered at the prospect.
Inside, the restaurant was dimly lit with twinkling lights strung up to create an iridescent glow.
“Senor Jackson!” A cry came from the back before a man appeared, clapping his hands in delight. “Welcome!”
Cal shook the man’s hand. “How are you, Gustavo?”
“Wonderful, just wonderful,” the man replied, his gaze turning to me. “Ah, and who is the lovely lady?”
I blushed. “Jill,” I introduced, shaking his hand and looking at Cal inquiringly.
“I’ve been coming here for years,” he explained before he leaned down to murmur in my ear. “May have helped Gus here out of a jam or two.”
I nodded, following as we were led to our table toward the back.
“Best seat in the house.” Gustavo nodded. “A margarita for the lady?”
“Um, sure,” I agreed as I sat down across from Cal.
“Cal, the usual for you?”
Cal nodded and Gus rushed off to get our drinks.
“He’s eager to please you,” I noted, opening my menu.
Cal shrugged, his large hands clasped on the table. “He’s a smart man.”
I looked up at him. “Do you want people to be afraid of you?” I asked curiously.
He sat back, regardin
g me thoughtfully. “Fear can be a powerful motivator.” He shrugged again. “It’s served me well when I need it to.”
“That’s not really an answer,” I pointed out.
He grinned, sitting forward in his seat. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, how’s that?”
“I’m not afraid of you,” I answered him honestly.
“What about yesterday?” he asked, and I knew he was referring to my flinch.
“Reflex,” I murmured, looking down at my hands.
He reached across the table, taking my hand in his. We broke apart as Gustavo placed our drinks in front of us, along with some chips and salsa.
“I’m so excited to have good Mexican food, it’s been forever.” I sighed blissfully, changing the subject. “Wow, that’s good,” I added after I took a sip of my drink.
He took a drink of his beer. “Glad you like it.”
“Are you back from Vegas for good?” I asked after we’d ordered our food.
“I’ll have to head down there now and then,” he replied. “The Sinners needed help establishing a new chapter after we wiped out the Riders.”
I knew the Sinners were the club that Scarlet had been raised with. Her dad had been their president before being killed several years back.
“You didn’t want to expand?” I asked.
Cal chuckled. “You’re just full of questions tonight, aren’t you? No, I like to keep our territory small and run right.” He stared at me intently. “Plus, there’s too much here in Hawthorne for me. Or at least I hope to hell there is.”
I swallowed hard and nodded, taking a much-needed sip of my drink.
“But it serves my purposes to have friendly clubs close by. Don’t want another Riders situation.” He glowered.
I shivered at the very thought. When things had come to a violent head with the Black Riders, they’d tried to take Hawthorne over. It had ended in bloodshed, including one of the Knights’ prospects being killed.
“No, definitely not,” I agreed emphatically.
“So, how about you?” he asked as Gustavo put steaming plates of delicious-smelling food in front of us.
I cocked my head to the side. “How about me, what?”
“Are you staying in Hawthorne?”
Cal (The Ride Series Book 5) Page 6
