I narrowed my eyes at him, trying like hell to find his arrogance annoying rather than sexy as all hell. “What makes you so sure I’ll come around?”
He stood up and in two strides was back in my space. His large hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me close so that my body was flush with his. His head dipped to my neck as he inhaled. “I can smell how much you want me.” His fingers trailed down my chest, swiping with a featherlight touch across my right nipple, which was beaded to a painful point.
I gasped as my entire body coiled tight with desire.
“Your body wants me. Of that I have no doubt,” his gravelly voice declared as his hand returned to my chest, pressing over my heart. “Now this, this will take more time. But I’m willing to work for it.” He stooped, lifting my chin so that my eyes met his. “You’re worth it, baby.”
I stared up at him, overwhelmed by the emotion his words and touch incited. I dropped my gaze to the ground as I took a very necessary step back. I’d never desired a man as I did Cal.
And that scared the hell out of me.
“Right,” he muttered, not sounding so much frustrated as resigned with the distance I constantly put between us. “I’ll give you that for now, babe. You’ve been through a lot. I don’t know the details but I know that much. Someday, I want you to tell me about it. No good bottling all that away. Trust me, I know.”
I looked up at him in surprise.
“We’re not there yet. And because of that I can move past the fact you didn’t tell me that motherfucker has disappeared, that I had to hear it from one of my men. This time,” he clarified before continuing. “I want you and Mason to come and stay with me.” He stared down at me. “I’m firm on that, Jill.”
“You’re firm on that,” I repeated through barely moving lips.
He nodded.
I straightened my shoulders, forcing myself to look him in the eye. “My baby is in there sleeping peacefully.” I cocked my head toward the closet. “I haven’t slept in twenty-four hours and I’m not leaving this apartment. I’m firm on that,” I retorted.
A slow grin spread across his handsome face. “You’re lucky stubborn is a cute look on you.”
I glared at him.
He continued to grin. “All right, honey. What’s important to me is that you’re safe—not what roof you’re under.”
Why did his statement make me feel like I still hadn’t won the argument? When he sat on the couch and began to remove his boots, I knew why.
“You’re not staying here!” I sputtered.
He placed his boots next to my cowboy boots, which sat by the door, as though I hadn’t spoken. I tried like hell to ignore how something so seemingly simple as having his boots beside mine invoked something so powerful in me.
He prowled toward me, removed the cut that still lay across my shoulders, and hung it on a nearby chair. “I’m beat, babe. I’ll sack out on the couch if that’s what you want, but I’ll tell you right now, nothing I want more than to sleep beside you.”
It felt as though all the air left the room as I grappled with my next breath.
His gaze softened as he clearly observed my predicament. “Get to bed, baby. I’ll lock up.”
“B-but,” I sputtered, staring in wide-eyed shock as he moved around the room, locking up like he owned the place.
He ignored my protests and I knew there was no winning this one, especially with how exhausted I was.
Accepting my fate for the evening, I headed back to the bathroom to finish my nighttime routine, feeling like my life had tipped on its axis in a matter of minutes. I regarded myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. I was still the same person and yet I had a feeling everything had just completely changed.
When I came back into the room all the lights had been turned off and Cal was sprawled out on the couch, his large frame nearly swallowing the furniture.
I found him a blanket, handing it over without comment.
“Night, baby,” his deep voice rasped.
“Uh, night,” I replied, feeling awkward and out of my depth as I crawled under the covers.
I lay on my back, unsure if I could sleep despite my exhaustion. Having Cal Jackson sleeping on my sofa was surreal at best. “This is bizarre,” I murmured.
“It’s not bizarre, babe, you just haven’t been paying attention.”
Maybe he was right. Hell, everyone else certainly seemed to think we were inevitable.
I stared up at the ceiling, listening to the sound of his subtle shifting on the couch, to his hands raking over the whiskers on his chin. His presence calmed me. He made me feel safe. It was with that thought—so polar opposite to how I’d spent the past five years—that I finally drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 7
I woke up to the sound of my son’s sweet giggle and Cal’s deep rumble as he spoke in hushed tones to Mason.
I sat up in bed, finding the two of them eating a quiet breakfast. Cal had Mason in the high chair as he sat on the barstool handing him pieces of banana.
How the hell had I slept through him getting Mason out of the crib?
“There’s your mama.” Cal spoke to Mason though his eyes were on mine, his expression warm as he took in my rumpled appearance.
“I can’t believe I slept through you getting him up. I’m sorry—how long has he been up?” I asked, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.
“Not long, and it’s no problem. Bubs and I had some catching up to do and you needed to sleep,” he replied, moving toward the kitchen to grab me a mug. “Coffee?”
I dropped a kiss on Mason’s head. “Please.” I nodded gratefully as I tried to comprehend the scene in front of me. It was so… domestic, and unlike anything I’d ever pictured when it came to Cal.
“What’s that look?” he asked as he handed me my coffee. Dressed in his jeans and white t-shirt from last night, his hair mussed from sleep, he looked delicious.
There weren’t enough words to explain everything going on in my head. Instead, I busied myself by taking a sip of my coffee in lieu of a response.
He stepped into my space, towering over me as his hand ran over my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. “Ah, babe, you’re the most delicious puzzle. I can’t wait to piece you together.” His slow grin had my knees shaking.
“I’ll get you something to eat,” I murmured, stepping past him toward the refrigerator. “I’ll make it quick. I’m sure you’ve got plans,” I added hastily.
He sat at the bar watching me as I busied myself at the stove. I still had some leftover muffins from the day before and heated them up as I whipped up some eggs. “I do have plans. With you and Bubs.”
His answer had me whirling to face him. “W-what?”
He chuckled, shaking his head at me. “I want to spend the day with you. After that I’m hoping you’ll agree to stay with me. I’ll sleep another night on that couch, but babe, tellin’ you right now I’d really rather not.”
“You really think I’m in that much danger?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not sure. If I was, I wouldn’t be askin’. I just want to spend time with you.”
I looked at him then, and his beautiful blue eyes regarded me from across the bar. He took my breath away, always had. My conversation with Sophie came back to me. Was I really going to continue to push him away when I wanted him so goddamned much?
After a moment more of hesitation I nodded. “Okay,” I agreed. “We’d like that.”
He grinned. “Good.”
As if on cue, Mason squealed. Cal chuckled, handing him another piece of banana.
“You’re good with him,” I commented, placing a steaming plate of food in front of him. “My niece and nephew, too.”
“I love kids—always have,” he rumbled, taking a huge bite of the muffin. “That’s fuckin’ good.”
I made a mental note to whip up another batch.
“Cole doesn’t have any siblings,” I hedged carefully. I knew next to nothing about Cal,
and my curiosity was hard to contain. Aside from being able to piece together that he’d had Cole young, I didn’t have much to go on.
“Would have had a busful of kids.” He shook his head ruefully. “Cole’s mama didn’t feel the same. But that’s a story for another day.”
“Okay,” I agreed readily. If anyone understood not wanting to unearth the past, it was me.
He cocked his head toward Mason. “He’ll nap in the car?”
I nodded.
“Got someplace I want to show you.”
****
After loading up Mason’s car seat in his SUV, he’d driven us to a beautiful lake outside of town. I was amazed at how hands-on he was with Mason. In many ways I’d always been a single mother. Even when I was married to Tim, he’d traveled a lot of the time and when he’d been home he’d never taken much of an interest in Mason.
Watching Cal now, his jeans rolled up as he lifted a squealing Mason in and out of the water, I was in a state of shock that I could actually sit for a few minutes. The gift of being able to watch my son from afar was priceless—plus watching Cal wasn’t half bad either.
As if he could read my thoughts, his gaze turned toward me as I sat soaking up the sun on the rocky shore. “He loves the water.”
I smiled. “I guess so. This is a first for him.”
My phone pinged then, the message eradicating any bliss I’d channeled over the last few hours.
You’re mine and so is he.
The blood drained from my face as I read the message from Tim more than once, hoping like hell I’d conjured the words. When they remained on the screen, I wanted to cry and scream at the same time.
Instead, I fought for composure. I’d learned over the years to harness what control I could. I could control how I reacted. I could control how I played the cards I’d been dealt. I’d been doing it all my life.
Tim could hit me—but I could choose not to cower. He could threaten me, and I could choose to be angry instead of afraid. I looked up, watching my beautiful child squeal with joy, and wondered how in the hell his own father could threaten him.
Cal looked up again, the grin dropping from his face immediately. He picked Mason up and stalked toward me, his expression tense. “What happened?”
I stood up and reached for my boy, needing to hold him. Cal handed him over without hesitation. “Babe,” he pressed.
I handed my phone over with a sigh, rocking Mason, giving myself comfort in loving him.
“Motherfucker,” Cal growled.
I glared at him. “I’d really rather not have Mason’s first word be the f-word.”
His gaze zeroed in on me. “We need to get your phone to Sal. He might be able to track the source.”
I nodded.
“Jill, this text? It means I’ve stopped fucking asking. We’re going to your apartment and packing your shit. You’re staying with me.”
We stared at each other in a silent standoff.
“Okay,” I agreed finally. The minute Tim had threatened Mason he’d taken any hesitation to accept Cal’s offer out of me. Any reservations I had could wait; they weren’t as important as keeping my son safe.
“He’s asleep,” Cal noted, looking in the rearview mirror as we hit the highway, headed back to my place.
I turned in my seat to find Mason’s head dropped to the side, fast asleep. “That was quick.”
Cal nodded. “He had a big morning.”
“Yeah,” I agreed turning to watch the landscape flash by. “That was fun.”
I realized then that “fun” was such a foreign concept to me. I had so few carefree moments.
“I’m glad,” he replied, reaching over to squeeze my thigh briefly before returning his hand to the wheel. “Babe, I’m gonna take care of this. I’ve been itching to get my hands on that piece of shit for longer than I care to admit.”
I looked over at him in surprise.
He turned briefly to meet my gaze before his eyes returned to the road. “He’s gonna regret threatening you until the end of his days.”
With Tim it had been a lot more than threats.
I realized then that Cal had no idea what my life with Tim had really been like. Sophie was one of the few people who knew and by association, Axel. He must have kept those details to himself. Otherwise something told me that Cal wouldn’t be so composed.
The details of my married life would be for me to divulge, if I ever found the nerve.
Would he think differently of me if he knew? Would he judge me for staying for as long as I had?
Suddenly my palms felt clammy as I fought for calm.
“Okay, honey?” His quiet concern came only a moment after my heart rate spiked. He was so in tune with me—I had no idea how he did that.
“Fine,” I rasped.
“He’s threatened you before,” he deduced.
“That’s a story for another day,” I murmured, throwing his words from earlier back at him and hoping like hell they stuck.
After a moment he nodded. “All right, babe. I’ll give you that. But that day? It’s coming soon.”
Of that I had little doubt.
Chapter 8
The dust kicked up on the unpaved road as we headed out of Hawthorne. I’d never been to Cal’s house but I doubted he lived out this way. There wasn’t much out here except desert and….
“We’re headed to the club.” He spoke up, answering my silent query. “I want to meet with the guys. I’ll keep it quick. I also need to get your phone to Sal.”
I nodded, watching the landscape fly by as we bounced along the road. Mason still slept soundly in the back. He’d slept through me packing up our belongings as well while Cal had waited in the car with him.
I’d been to the club a few times. I’d never felt comfortable there—it was a place for the members and their women. I was neither.
“I’ll just wait with Bubs. I don’t want to wake him,” I told Cal when we’d arrived at the club and he’d cut the engine.
As though he knew I was searching for an out, Mason’s eyes opened at my words.
“Looks like you can come in after all.” Cal winked as he climbed out of the SUV, walking around to my side to open my door for me.
“Oh good,” I muttered as my feet hit the ground.
He stepped into my space, his hand cupping my jaw gently, forcing my gaze up. “You’ve always avoided the club. Why?” he asked, his eyes staring intently down at mine.
In typical Cal fashion, his question cut directly to the point.
“I haven’t avoided the club, Cal. I just don’t belong here.” I shrugged.
“That’s a load of bullshit,” he clipped.
I took a step back, surprised and taken aback by the sudden frustration in his tone.
“Darlin’, serious as shit—after everything you’ve been through with us? That’s fucked,” he growled angrily.
His large frame towering over me as he glared down at me had me flinching back, my eyes squeezed shut, ready for what I’d become accustomed to coming next.
I heard his deep indrawn breath. “Babe.” His tone was notably softer as I opened my eyes, forcing myself to straighten my shoulders. “What was that?” His expression was laced with anger of a different tenor. “Christ, Jill. Did you think I was going to hit you?”
His incredulous tone sent an embarrassed blush over my cheeks. “I need to get Mason,” I murmured, angry at the wobble I felt in my chin.
His large hands grabbed my upper arms in a gentle hold as he stooped to look me in the eye. “We can talk later about why you’d ever think that. Until then I need you to know, I’d never hurt you. Never, Jill.” The vehemence in his voice had my gaze drifting up to meet his. “I’ve never raised my hand to a woman. I never will. I’ve enjoyed putting any fucker in his place who has.”
I nodded, eager for space. His frustrated growl told me that we weren’t done, far from it, but he allowed me to step away from him and to get Mason.
“Prez,�
�� Sal greeted with a chin lift as we entered the club. “Brothers are in the back, ready to meet.” His tone was serious as his eyes held Cal’s.
You only had to spend a few moments around the Knights for it to become clear how much they respected and revered Cal. He was a man who commanded respect but he’d also earned it many times over.
“Jill, you’re here!” Kat grinned as she stood beside her husband, Sal. She cradled their baby girl, Wren, in her arms. “Finally, some estrogen—it was getting a little alpha crazy in here today.” She winked as Sal slung an arm around her, bringing both his girls close. “But then again, I don’t know when it’s not like that,” she added with a laugh as Sal mock growled at her.
“I can imagine.” I smiled.
“The girls are out back, why don’t you come join us?” she offered, cocking her head toward the back of the club where a large outdoor area lay with the desert as its backdrop.
“Jill, your phone, babe.” Cal held his open palm toward me.
I gave it to him without argument. I was just as eager to see if Sal could track the source of the text. As the security specialist for the club, Sal could work all kinds of magic.
“Go on with the girls, baby. I’ll come get you when we’re done. Do you have everything you need?”
I blushed crimson as every eye in the room watched us with avid curiosity.
“I’m good.” I nodded, turning to follow Kat, Mason cradled in my arms.
We found the girls lounging out back with Gracie running around while Maddox tried to keep up.
“Hey, girl!” Ettie greeted, her curls bouncing as she rose from her chair to give me a hug.
“Hi.” I smiled, putting a wriggling Mason on the ground. He was eager to play with his buddies and toddled over to Mad.
I took a seat next to Sophie, feeling overwhelmed by the events of the day.
“What happened?” Sophie asked with concern.
I laughed tiredly. “How can you tell?”
“You have that look.” She shrugged.
Cal (The Ride Series Book 5) Page 5
