Cousin Kate

by Джорджетт Хейер

  ’And what is your only talent?” he asked.

  ’Oh, dressmaking! I did think of seeking a post as abigail to a lady of fashion, but Sarah wouldn’t hear of it. She said it wouldn’t do for me—”

  “She was right!”

  “Yes, I think perhaps she was: I can’t imagine when a modish abigail finds the time to go to bed! So then I hit upon the idea of seeking employment in a dressmaker’s establishment, but Mr Nidd was strongly opposed to it.”

  “I said he was a downy one,” observed Philip.

  “Yes, but I still think I might try my hand at it, if all else fails. He says that unless one can afford to set up for oneself, or at .least to buy a share in a flourishing business, there is no possibility of making one’s fortune in the dressmaking line.”

  “None at all, I imagine.”

  “You can’t tell that!” she objected. “For my part, I shouldn’t wonder at it if you are both wrong. Consider! Even if I had to serve an apprenticeship in the workroom, and subsist for a time on a pittance, I should be bound to rise rapidly to a more elevated position, because I can do more than sew: I can design! I truly can, sir! I have been used to make all my own dresses, and no one has yet called me a dowd! On the contrary ! Mrs Astley’s odious mother said that she marvelled at my extravagance, and would like to know where I found the money to purchase such expensive gowns!” She chuckled. “And the joke was that when she said that, I was wearing a coloured muslin dress which cost exactly eighteen shillings! It was perfectly plain except for a knot of ribbons at the waist, but of excellent cut and style, which, of course, was what misled her. I don’t mean to boast, but doesn’t that show you?”

  “I should have to see the garment before I ventured to give my opinion,” he said, his countenance grave, but his voice a trifle unsteady.

  She burst out laughing. “What a shocking Banbury man you are, sir! How dare you poke fun at me? Did I sound like a bounce?”

  He shook his head gloomily. “Every feeling was offended!” he assured her.

  She laughed more than ever, but said: “Seriously, sir—”

  “Seriously, Kate, Mr Nidd is right: it won’t fadge!”

  She sighed. “Perhaps it might not. Lately I have been wondering if I could not obtain a situation with an old lady. I daresay you know the sort of thing I mean: as companion, or housekeeper, or even the two combined. It would be dreadfully dull, I expect, but at least Sarah wouldn’t kick up a dust, and say it wasn’t a genteel occupation.”

  “I suppose you wouldn’t consider being a companion-housekeeper to a gentleman?” he suggested.

  “I shouldn’t think so. Sarah would think it most improper, and it would be, you know. Unless he was a very old gentleman. Why, do you know of a gentleman who wants a companion-housekeeper?”

  “As it chances, I do. But not a very old one, I’m afraid! I mean he isn’t bedridden, or queer in his attic, or anything of that nature. Not a dotard?

  “I certainly shouldn’t consider such a post in a dotard’s house!” she said, amused. “In fact, unless I were offered a handsome wage, which, I own, would tempt me, I don’t mean to consider it at all! An old lady is the thing for me!”

  “You cannot have given enough thought to it, Kate! Old ladies are always as cross as crabs!”

  “What nonsense!” she said scornfully. “I have known several who were most amiable! And no female is commonly afflicted with gout, which most old gentlemen are, I find. It makes them insupportably cross!”

  “The gentleman I have in mind is not afflicted with gout, and I am persuaded you would find him amiable, and—and compliant.”

  “Indeed?” said Kate, stiffening. “And how old is this gentleman, sir?”

  “Nine-and-twenty. But very nearly thirty!” he replied.

  Since she knew this to be his own age, she could not doubt that he meant himself, and was making her an offer. But what kind of an offer it was remained a matter of painful doubt. He knew her to be friendless and penniless, and it was possible that he was offering her a carte blanche, meaning to set her up as his mistress; it seemed very unlikely that he wished to marry her, for (as she dismally reminded herself) she had nothing but a pretty face to recommend her. She felt suddenly that if that was what he meant it would be more than she could bear; and realized that it would be one more illusion shattered. She had not allowed herself to hope that he would offer marriage, for she knew herself to be ineligible; she was not even sure that he loved her. He had certainly revised his first, unfavourable estimate of her character; and when he looked at her she could fancy there was a warm, appreciative light in his eyes. But he was not a man who wore his heart on his sleeve: indeed, if it was possible to detect a fault in him, thought Kate, sternly resolved to do so, he had too much reserve. Not, of course, a stupid sort of indifference, but a coolness of manner, which made it hard to know what he was thinking.

  Doggedly determined not to betray herself, she said, in a light voice, which she hoped expressed contemptuous amusement: “I won’t pretend to play the dunce, sir. I assume that you are talking about yourself. I don’t find it diverting!”

  “I was talking about myself, and I am extremely glad you don’t find it diverting!” he said, with some asperity.

  Her heart began to beat uncomfortably fast, and she could feel the colour mounting into her cheeks. She turned her face away, saying: “This is quite improper, sir! I told my aunt that you showed no disposition to flirt with me, and I believed it!”

  “So I should hope! For God’s sake, Kate!—I’m not fluting with you! I’m trying to tell you that I love you!”

  “Oh!” uttered Kate faintly.

  Mr Philip Broome, indignant at being given so little encouragement, said in a goaded voice: “Now say you’re much obliged to me!”

  “I don’t know that I am,” responded Kate, almost inaudibly. “I—I don’t know what you mean!”

  With all the air of a deeply reticent man forced to declare his sentiments, he said: “Exactly what I said! I LOVE YOU!”

  “You needn’t shout! I’m not deaf!” retorted Kate, with spirit.

  “I was afraid you might be! I could hardly have put it more plainly! And all you can say is Oh! As though it was a matter of no consequence to you! If you feel that you can’t return my—my regard, tell me so! I’ve dared to hope, but I was prepared to have my offer rejected, and although it would be a severe blow, I trust I have enough conduct not to embarrass you by persisting!”

  “You—you haven’t made me an offer!” said Kate. She added hurriedly, and in considerable confusion: “I don’t in the least wish you to! I mean, I would far, far liefer you didn’t if you are trying to—Oh, dear, how very awkward this is! Mr Broome, pray don’t offer me a carte blanche!”

  “A carte blanche?” he exclaimed, apparently stunned.

  By this time she was crimson-cheeked. She stammered: “Is—isn’t that the right term?”

  “No, it is not the right term!” he said savagely, drawing his horses in to the side of the lane, and pulling them to a halt. “What kind of a loose-screw do you take me for? Offer a carte blanche to a delicately bred girl in your circumstances? You must think I’m an ugly customer!”

  “Oh, no, no! Indeed I don’t!”

  He possesed himself of her hands, and held them in a hard grip. “I am proposing to you, Kate! Will you marry me?”

  Her hands instinctively clung to his; a happiness she had never known before flooded her being; but she said foolishly: “Oh, no! Don’t! You can’t have considered—Oh, dear, how improper this is!”

  Mr Philip Broome, after one swift glance round, dragged her roughly into his arms and kissed her. For a delirious moment Kate yielded, but every precept that Sarah had drummed into her head shrieked to her that she was violating every canon of propriety, and behaving without delicacy or conduct. She made a desperate attempt to thrust him away, uttering an inarticulate protest. He released her with unexpected alacrity, ejaculating: “I might have known it!
” and set his horses in motion again. “That’s what comes of proposing in a curricle! Straighten your bonnet, Kate, for the Lord’s sake!”

  She had suffered a severe shock at being so brusquely repulsed, but she now saw that Mr Philip Broome had not experienced a change of heart. A couple of people had come round a sharp bend in the lane, and were advancing slowly towards them. From their attire, Kate judged them to be members of the fanning fraternity; and from the circumstances of the young man’s arm being round the girl’s waist, and his head bent fondly over hers, it seemed safe to assume that they were a courting couple. They were wholly absorbed in each other, and cast no more than cursory, incurious glances at the curricle.

  “Phew!” whistled Philip, as soon as the curricle was out of earshot. “It’s to be hoped they didn’t see!”

  “Yes, it is!” Kate agreed warmly. “And if they did, it serves me right for behaving like a—like a straw-damsel!

  “

  Chapter XIII

  Mr Philip Broome burst out laughing. “Oh, Kate, you enchanting rogue! Where did you learn that? Not from Mr Nidd, I’ll swear!”

  In consternation she said: “No, no! It was very bad of me to have said it! The thing is I couldn’t think of a more genteel way of putting it, and for some reason or other the expression stuck in my memory, and—and sprang to my tongue! I heard one of Papa’s men say it—oh, years ago, and asked Papa what it meant. He burst out laughing too. But he did tell me, and warn me not to say it, so I have no excuse, and I beg your pardon.”

  “You may say anything you please to me, my love. I hope you will.”

  She had been smiling, but these words brought her back to earth, and she said, in a troubled voice: “I don’t think—I don’t think you ought to make me an offer!”

  “No, it’s quite improper, of course,” he said cheerfully. “Before addressing myself to you, I ought to ask permission of your father, or your mother, or your guardian, but as you haven’t a father, or a mother, or a guardian, I do trust you’ll overlook the irregularity! Something seems to tell me that if I were to apply to Minerva she would send me to the rightabout! Do you feel you could, without sinking yourself beneath reproach, tell me if you could bring yourself to marry me?”

  “Not—not without sinking myself beneath reproach!” she answered sadly.

  Taken aback, he demanded: “Now, what the devil?—”

  She resolutely raised her eyes to his face, and managed to say: “I believe you haven’t understood my circumstances. You shouldn’t be proposing to a female of no fortune, or to one whose relations don’t own her! Your family must surely oppose such an unequal match! You see, I haven’t sixpence to scratch with. I am a pauper!”

  “I call that a very grandiloquent way of putting it!” he objected. “As for saying you haven’t sixpence to scratch with!—Well, that’s the outside of enough! A shockingly ungenteel expression, let me tell you, my little love, and one that I never thought to hear on your lips!”

  Kate was betrayed into retorting: “Considering you have just heard a much more shocking expression on my lips, you can’t have felt surprised! What a complete hand you are, Cousin Philip!”

  “And what an abominable little gypsy you are, Cousin Kate!” he said affably. “Let us be serious for a minute! You’re talking the most outrageous fustian I ever listened to in my life, you know—and that does surprise me, because you’re not at all addlebrained! If your relations don’t own you, so much the better! They sound to me a very disagreeable set of persons. As to mine, I have no closer relations than my Uncle Timothy, and you can’t suppose that he would oppose the match! I almost wish he would, if it were within his power to cut me out of the succession. I daresay my more remote relations don’t care a pin what I do: I know I don’t give a pin for their opinions! Finally, my little pea-goose, I understand your circumstances a great deal better than you seem to understand mine! I’m not a rich man, Kate. I can’t offer you the consequence of a large country estate, a mansion in Berkeley Square, and a handsome fortune. I am possessed of what I have been used to consider a comfortable independence. My wife will be able to command the elegancies of life, but not its extravagances. Broome Hall doesn’t compare with Staplewood, you know. I should describe it as commodious rather than stately, and my fortune won’t run to a town house—at least, not a permanent one.”

  He spoke apologetically, and was obviously sincere. Kate’s ever-lively sense of humour got the better of her, and she said, in the voice of one suffering a severe disappointment: “Not?”

  “Not!” said Philip firmly. “You would have to be content with a furnished house for a few weeks during the Season!”

  Kate sighed audibly. “Well,” she said, making a reluctant concession, “as long as it is in the best part of town!—”

  “I thought,” said Philip, glancing appreciatively down into her dancing eyes, “that we were going to be serious, my sweet wit-cracker?”

  “Yes, so did I, and so I would have been, if you hadn’t talked such fustian! Dear sir, when my father was serving, we lived for the most part in billets, which ranged from a very dirty, draughty cottage on the Spanish and Portuguese border, to rooms in a palatial, and even more draughty, chateau, north of Toulouse. When Papa sold out, and we settled in London, we lived in lodgings which varied with Papa’s fortunes. To be sure, at the outset, when it was high tide with him, we had an elegant set of rooms in Clarges Street; but we ended in far from elegant rooms in Thames Street. Poor Papa could never manage to be beforehand with the world for more than a few weeks at a stretch. You see, he was a gamester, and whenever he had a run of luck nothing would do for him but to—er—waste the ready as fast as he could! I can’t tell you how many times he has come home, and emptied guineas into my lap, or how many expensive trinkets he has given me! He had a great many faults, but no one could accuse him of being clutchfisted. He was the most generous man imaginable, and a great dear, but not—not at all reliable!”

  “Something of this I have learnt from Minerva. Did he leave you in debt, my poor child?”

  “Oh, yes, but nothing to signify!” said Kate sunnily. “Not gaming debts! He was very punctilious in all matters of play and pay. I sold my trinkets, and one or two other things, to pay the tradesmen’s bills, and came off all right.”

  “But without sixpence to scratch with?” he suggested.

  She smiled. “True! But I had the good fortune to please Mrs Astley, and she hired me to be governess to her children. And Sarah was there, in the background, ready to shelter me at a moment’s notice. I wish you might see the house she persuaded Mr Nidd to buy for his wagons, and horses, and stable hands! It is close to the Bull and Mouth, in the City, and was used to be an inn. It is the quaintest, most delightful place imaginable! It had fallen into a shocking state of disrepair, but Mr Nidd and Joe furbished it up, and turned one side of the yard into a snug home for the family. When I left Mrs Astley, I lived with the Nidds until my aunt came to sweep me off to Staplewood. They were so kind to me, Joe, and his father, and the grandsons!” Her eyes filled, and she was obliged to flick away the sudden tears. She continued hurriedly: “I was spoiled to death there, and enjoyed myself excessively! I know my aunt finds it impossible to believe that I could have enjoyed it, but—but she wasn’t reared as I was, and I must own that she is very high in the instep!”

  “What you mean is, insufferably top-lofty!” interpolated Philip ruthlessly.

  She was obliged to acknowledge the truth of this stricture, and could not resist confiding to him, with her infectious chuckle: “When she found me in chat with the coachman here, she said she hoped I hadn’t a taste for low company! But I’m afraid I have, though I didn’t dare to tell her so!”

  “So have I!” he said, hugely entertained. “I see that we were made for one another! How soon will you marry me?”

  “I don’t know! I haven’t had time to think! And should you not consider before you make me an offer?”

  “I did consider, very
profoundly, and I have already made you an offer.”

  “Yes, but you haven’t been acquainted with me for very long, and I don’t think you did consider profoundly.”

  “Well, you’re beside the hedge, my sweet! You don’t suppose that a man of my years, and settled habits, proposes marriage without consideration, do you?”

  She answered seriously, wrinkling her brow: “Yes, I think I do. There have been many cases of gentlemen, much older than you, proposing on the spur of the moment. And afterwards regretting it.”

  “Very true!” he said, rather grimly. “I know of one such case myself. But you are the only woman I’ve known with whom I wish to spend the rest of my life, Kate. I could never regret it, and I mean to see to it that you don’t regret it either! When will you marry me?”

  Before she could answer him, they were both startled by a stentorian shout behind them. Kate turned quickly, but Philip had no difficulty in recognizing Mr Templecombe’s voice. “The devil fly away with Gurney!” he said wrathfully. “Am I never to enjoy a moment’s privacy with you?”

  “Well, you can’t expect to be private with me in a curricle!” Kate pointed out.

  “No, and I can’t expect to be private with you at Staplewood either!” he said, checking his horses. “Minerva takes good care of that!”

  “There’s always the shrubbery,” she reminded him demurely.

  “Oh, no, there is not! Expecting every minute to see Minerva coming in search of you, and with two gardeners liable to look over the hedge at any minute!—Well, Gurney, what do you want?”

  Mr Templecombe, who was riding a good-looking covert-hack, reined in alongside the curricle, pulled off his hat, and bowed to Kate. “How do you do, ma’am? Happy to renew my acquaintance with you! Hoped I might have the pleasure of meeting you again, but you haven’t been out riding lately, have you?”