The Green Fields Series Box Set: Books 1-3

by Adrienne Lecter

“Because we’re not exactly in the position to be picky about who we drag along with us,” I pointed out. “We’ll lose enough people that we can’t spare. Don’t be stupid enough to put someone out just because she screwed up.” I wasn’t exactly afraid of them exiling me, but it sounded like a good thing to point out.

  Pia gave a derisive snort. “You’re the last to call anyone stupid.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. I’m not even denying that I screwed up. I just don’t see how I messed things up beyond repair. I didn’t even get anyone killed.” At my reply, Nate raised his right hand, pushing back the sleeve, where a set of new bite marks stood out angry red against his skin. Swallowing thickly, I did my best to staunch my rising panic. “Hurt, yeah, but you won’t turn into a zombie. We all know that.”

  With Skip and Steve back in their car, Santos and Cho were the only ones who looked at me, flummoxed but not alarmed, making it obvious that this “secret” wasn’t really one. Neither of them asked for an explanation, though, making me guess that just the part that I was in the know was news to them. The current evening entertainment was likely too engrossing.

  “You disobeyed a direct order,” Nate said, his voice so cold that it made me shudder. But at least now we were talking.

  “You only told me not to go after Madeline. I went after the kids,” I pointed out.

  “I told you not to be a fucking hero!” he shouted, coming to his feet, eyes blazing with fury. The forcefulness behind it might have made me want to take a step back, but my defiance now reared its ugly head, steeling my spine.

  “I wasn’t trying to!” I replied, heat making my words louder than I’d intended. “I was talking to Erica, and suddenly they were gone, so I had to track them down. I didn’t expect that they’d be a good quarter mile away from the car by then.”

  My defense wasn’t a good one, judging from the way his nostrils flared as he inhaled.

  “You let them sneak by right under your ass? And you think that’s going to help you?”

  “Didn’t say that,” I grumbled, then sighed as I tried to rally my thoughts. “Look, I get it. Yes, I let them sneak by me. I screwed up. And I kept screwing up when I wasn’t careful as I went after them, and by the time I realized in how much shit I was, it was too late. I couldn’t just leave them there—“

  “Why not?”

  Nate’s question made me look at him bug-eyed. Was he seriously asking me that?

  “Because they are part of our group. Because they belong to us. Because they are two children who’ve been through enough already, and it’s not their fault that their mother is a fucking walking and talking health hazard!” I caught Pia’s eye roll, focusing on her instead. “I’m not talking about what else she does. But it’s pretty damn obvious that the kids didn’t just wander off and miraculously ended up sitting on a swing, far enough away from the car that they were both out of sight and earshot.”

  I’d had time aplenty in the car to mull over that little detail. I already knew that if I went to confront Madeline, she would sell me some kind of bullshit about the kids seeing the playground and wanting to go over there—or maybe even running off on their own—but I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that those lethargic meat bags were capable of doing any of that. And I wasn’t the only one, judging from the look on Pia’s face. It wasn’t surprise on there that I’d put two and two together. It was horror that any mother could do something like that. Another piece of the puzzle that was the Ice Queen, and nothing I could do about that now except file it away to ponder later.

  “I’m not looking for excuses for my behavior,” I offered, much quieter now as frustration gave way to something else, something much more bleak. “But I am asking you to give me another chance. And to not let me off the hook. I screwed up, so it’s only fair for me to suffer the consequences. Please. Don’t make me beg for this, because I already lost my dignity in that backyard, and there’s not much you can do to make this worse.”

  I thought I saw Burns’s lips quiver, but he reined himself in before it could blossom into a smile. Looking at each of them in turn, I did my best not to appear too defiant as I crossed my arms over my chest, likely failing catastrophically. Their silence went on forever, a torture on its own, until Pia spoke up.

  “You have to make amends, to each of us. If you’d just made a wrong decision, I would let you off the hook with the tongue lashing of your life, but you disobeyed a direct order. You endangered all of us. You have to bear the consequences of that.”

  I held her gaze, even though I could taste bile in the back of my throat.

  “Bring it on.” I knew I was so going to eat those words tonight, but I owed it to them not to cringe or cower now. I’d been around them long enough to realize that bravado was as much part of the deal as following up on it—and, more often than not, it was just that first step that was hard. Once thing were going, they just kept on rolling.

  I could tell that Pia was greatly amused by me, and all too happy to take me up on it. Getting to her feet, she walked over to me, stopping just inside my personal space. She didn’t need the extra inches she had on me to stare me down.

  “You sure about this? No one will hold it against you if you back out now. After all, you are just a scared little girl.”

  Swallowing, I did my best to smile up at her. “I’m sure. And I’m not—“

  That’s as far as I got, because her fist hitting my stomach hard made talking—or breathing—impossible as I cut off with a gasp, not enough air left in my lungs for a whimper. Pain exploded from my intestines out, making my knees weak, but I forced myself to lock them as I bowed over, panting.

  By the time I managed to straighten again, Pia was back at her previous place, idly munching on some sunflower seeds.

  I was suddenly very conscious of the fact that—Skip, Steve, Madeline, and her kids aside—there were twelve people in our group besides me.

  One down, eleven more to go. Shit.

  There wasn’t exactly an air of reluctance hanging between them, but no one seemed too fond of getting up next. Or they were just trying to give me more time to recover.

  “Just get it over with,” I ground out, trying not to wheeze too loudly.

  Burns and Andrej traded glances, and Burns got up next, stepping up to me with a hint of his usual swagger in his gaze.

  “Gut or jaw?” he asked, raising his brows at me.

  “Gut. You’re way too pretty to hit me in the face,” I offered, trying to steel myself. Like Pia, he was too quick for that, and I was already hunching over his arm as he caught me before I could even tense up, although I’d known what was coming. His other hand touched down lightly on my lower back, supporting me until I managed to get my feet back under me.

  “I respect you too much to pull my punches,” he whispered into my ear, that teasing note making it just a little better. The emotional sting, at least; the physical pain was still roaring through my body, sending tears into my eyes.

  “Let’s just hope you’re the only one,” I breathed, forcing my back to straighten again.

  I needn’t have bothered, because as soon as Burns stepped away, Andrej’s fist hit me in the stomach, just as hard, this time actually sending me to my knees. I remained hunched over, trying to breathe through the pain, both arms locked over my stomach.

  “Want help?” Burns offered, still standing next to me. I shook my head. “It’s not a sign of weakness, ya know?” he went on. “And might actually go quicker that way.”

  That wasn’t an offer I felt like I could refuse, or else we wouldn’t get this over with before the storm broke. Already, thick rain drops were pelting down on me, doing little to cool down the hot pain my entire lower torso had morphed into. At my nod, Burns and Andrej each put an arm underneath mine, crossing them at my back, heaving me back up onto my feet. They were both more than a head taller than me, pretty much leaving me hanging between them, but I didn’t care.

  Bates was a little gentler—probably becaus
e he hit a spot higher up that had passed unscathed so far—but Martinez got me hurling up my dinner in the most undignified way possible. At least they let me drop so all of it went into the grass rather than down my front, leaving me with a shred of dignity intact. Six more times they dragged me back up to my feet, although Moore and Campbell were feigning more than actually punching me. I wasn’t sure if that was a show of mercy or plain disrespect. I didn’t care right then, but I knew I would tomorrow. Or a year from now, which was a more likely time frame for when I would be able to breathe again without pain exploding through my body.

  And then only Nate was left, looking grim as he stepped up to me. Catching and holding his gaze, I forced myself not to cringe. Some of the others had pulled their punches, but I knew that he wouldn’t. By then, I was so out of it that I wasn’t sure I’d remain conscious after this. Being out cold certainly sounded like a good idea.

  I knew it was coming when I felt Andrej and Burns tense around me, but instead of hitting me, Nate grabbed my head and kissed me, stunning me enough that it took me a moment to relax. Burns let out a stupid snicker while Andrej just grumbled something under his breath that sounded vaguely obscene as he helped Burns transfer my weight from them to around Nate’s neck. It was less of a romantic gesture than me sagging into his arms, ending with us both laughing—him softly, me in pain.

  “You’re such a fucking asshole,” I told him, still blinking tears out if my eyes.

  “I’m in best company then,” he told me, briefly setting me down so he could get a better grip on me. Thunder rolled overhead, the rain drops increasing, and without further ado he lugged me back to the car, setting me down once we were there so he could grab our packs from the back row and transfer them to the front, leaving somewhat more space for us there. I crawled inside, groaning softly as the motion upset my bruised stomach muscles. Nate followed on the other side after closing the door behind me, pulling me against him once he’d gotten as comfortable as he was going to get, leaning against the door with his shoulder.

  “Why didn’t you take that punch?” I asked, my eyes already closing. It was too dark to see much, anyway. “Don’t tell me you weren’t itching to hit me.”

  His chuckle shook my body where I lay across his chest, my cheek up by his shoulder.

  “What you actually deserved was getting spanked over the knee like a squealing little girl, but I figured I’d just make the others too uncomfortable if you’d start to moan and grind yourself into me halfway through that.”

  “Asshole,” I repeated, smiling.

  “You keep saying that like it’s an insult,” he replied, sounding drowsy himself.

  Silence settled, but although my body was screaming for rest, I couldn’t let myself drift off yet.

  “I won’t do it again. Promise.”

  Nate was silent long enough that I started to wonder whether he’d fallen asleep already, until he replied.

  “Yes, you will, because that’s the kind of person you are.”

  Looking up, I tried to catch his gaze in the darkness, finding him still smiling down at me.

  “How can you say that? I just said—“

  “You’ll likely think twice about it, but making it a deliberate decision rather than a knee-jerk reaction doesn’t really change it,” he pointed out. And yet, there was no scorn in his tone.

  “Are you making fun of me?” Supporting myself like this was getting too painful so I sagged back onto his chest, his arm rubbing gently over my back now.

  “Never,” he teased, but got serious with his next words. “But I mean it. I am aware of what kind of person you are. And I’m not holding that against you. Just…” He paused, the sigh he let out heavy enough to make me sag down a little before he inhaled again. “Just learn how to pull yourself out of the shit you get yourself into first, okay? There’s only so much I can do, and next time I might just be too far away to come running to save you.”

  While I appreciated the sentiment, I didn’t like that last part

  “You didn’t save me. By the time you got to me I was already well on my way to shaking the zombies.”

  It took a while for him to reply.

  “Do you always have to emasculate me? Isn’t it bad enough that I had to watch my entire team reduce you to a sobbing mess?”

  “Your fault for not taking that punch,” I griped back, snuggling closer.

  “Yeah, I’m starting to rue that decision,” he replied, already drifting off. And with that cleared up, I could finally fall asleep myself.

  Chapter 25

  I slept like the dead through the night, but with the first beams of sunshine tickling my face, I was wide awake—quite unhappily so. Nate grinned sleepily as I pushed myself off his chest, my muscles stiff and sore, my lower torso and abdomen a war zone. Wincing, I hunched over, needing a few minutes to be able to breathe deeply again.

  “You wanna drive today? Because I’m not sure how much use I’m going to be,” I said, my voice pressed.

  “Fat chance. I’m not going to pick up the slack just because you screwed up,” he replied, trying to stretch as much as possible without getting out yet.

  “What’s for breakfast?” I asked, looking outside to where Andrej and Martinez were setting up some water to boil for coffee and tea.

  “Pork rinds. Unless you want some more beans? But for the sake of both our olfactory systems I’d go with the pork rinds.”

  I glared at him before I reached for the door and heaved myself out of the car, not even trying to hide my discomfort as the motions forced my stomach muscles to contract and relax again. I’d never before realized just how much core musculature was involved in simply leaning against a car, my weight not even fully supported by my feet. Andrej sent me a cursory glance but Martinez was grinning at me as I stumbled into the middle of our makeshift camp, ignoring how wet the grass was with residual rainwater and dew.

  “You look particularly well-rested this fine morning,” he offered, ignoring my glare as I trudged by him and into the bushes on the other side. No one had bothered with digging a latrine last night, but I was beyond caring right now. Almost five weeks of this—or were we already going on six? I didn’t even know what day it was supposed to be today—and still I missed the comfort of a separate bathroom with a toilet seat the most. Maybe we could pick up one of those portable camping toilets somewhere?

  Upon my return, the campsite had started to fill, although it was barely past five. The aforementioned pork rinds were passed around, and while my stomach did something upsetting, I wasn’t sure if I actually was hungry.

  “You’re looking a little green around the nose,” Bates noted as I passed him the open package without doing more than sniff at it.

  “Yeah. Maybe you need one of these?” Martinez offered, holding out a small brown paper bag to me. Despite myself, that made me laugh, something I instantly regretted when new pain shot through my stomach, causing me to hunch over just a little more. At least Burns was nice enough to pass me my tea—without further comment. That made me instantly suspicious, but if they’d laced it with something, I couldn’t taste it. The twang of third-grade sencha was too strong. Too good to waste it on anything else.

  Whatever had happened yesterday, the usual mood seemed to be restored, and that was definitely worth feeling a little under the weather. And it wasn’t like I didn’t deserve some of the ribbing I got now. It just felt good to be alive, and back to how things were supposed to be.

  The mood tanked immediately as soon as Madeline walked from her car over to get some hot water. Before, I’d noticed a slight hitch in conversations—jokes were cut off, profanity toned down a little—but today the change was obvious. Half of the guys fell silent, while the others were suddenly incredibly busy with tremendous tasks like scraping mud off their boots. No one even looked at her—and there was no way she didn’t notice, judging from how she stiffened as she returned to her children. I didn’t exactly expect anything from her, but that she snubbed
me in turn was just one more slap in the face that I wasn’t ready to let go.

  “Hey, Madeline?” She turned at my call, taking her time to find me with her haughty gaze that I held with ease. Anger boiled alive inside of me, but was surprisingly easy to quell. “Need help with something?”

  Her lips compressed, and she didn’t even pretend like it was supposed to be a smile.

  “Even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t ask you,” she replied. Martinez sent me a look that almost made me laugh, a true, “Why do you even bother?” if ever I’d seen one. Any other day I would have let it slide, but yesterday hadn’t just been my great day to shine.

  “I don’t know,” I said, casually drawing my Beretta out of its holster, yet keeping it pointed down, as non-threatening as any gun could be. “But you can always count on me if you need help euthanizing your children.”

  The fact that only Skip and Steve shied back made me even more pissed off than I already was. How long had the others known? Was I really almost the last one to figure that out?

  Coming to my feet in as smooth a motion as I could, I held out the gun to her. Madeline recoiled, hot water sloshing over the side of her mug. Her eyes took on that panicked, deer-caught-in-the-headlights quality, and she backed away further as I took a step toward her.

  “What, now you get a guilty conscience? What about all the candy you’ve been feeding them? I stepped on the wrappers that you forgot near the swing yesterday. And do you really think that anyone believes you when you say that they just wandered off?” I didn’t know if she’d tried to claim that—or if anyone had even asked her—but I so didn’t care right then. It wasn’t just anger that made my grip on my gun tighten, but fear. “Did you really think you could just hide the fact from us that they are infected?” I had no idea why none of the others had spoken up so far, but yesterday had been the one drop too much for me that tipped the scales. And now that all the pieces of the puzzle had fallen into place in my head, it was impossible to just let things go on as they had.