A Mother's Conviction (Secrets Series Book 3)

by Karen Lenfestey

  After she opened the garage door, a cool blast of air greeted her. She marched out into the thick snow and began clearing a path behind her car.

  As she scraped the pavement and heaved the snow into the yard, she kept glancing at the road. No plows so far. The longer she worked, the more concerned she became that it wasn’t going to matter.

  Did she dare take Zoe out in this and risk getting stranded somewhere? She’d been looking forward to seeing her brother again. He had a way of lightening her burdens and making her laugh. And Zoe loved playing with her cousins. Melodie hated to keep her from them since she didn’t have any siblings. A baby brother or sister was just one more plan that hadn’t come to fruition.

  Pushing away the thought, Melodie surveyed the drive. Already the wind had blown white powder over the blacktop. Soon it wouldn’t look like she’d done anything. Another glance at the main road showed a wall of snow. She brushed the powder off of her gloves and headed inside. Zoe was no longer in the kitchen, but she’d left her tower of cereal boxes behind. Melodie loved that Zoe got her love of building things from Paul. Maybe she’d grow up to be an engineer or an architect. Anything would be better than a lawyer.

  After she removed her outdoor apparel, Melodie grabbed the phone and dialed. “Hey, Mom. How much snow did you guys get?”

  “More than a foot.”

  She wiped the sweat from her forehead. Man, shoveling was exhausting. She needed to figure out how to fix the snow blower. “So, are you still going to Johnny’s?”

  “I think so. Your dad is out clearing the drive as we speak. How about you?”

  “We got about twice what you got.” If Paul were alive, they’d probably throw a shovel in the trunk and take off, but since she was alone, she didn’t feel so brave. She glanced out the window again and didn’t see any vehicles. The place felt so isolated. “I’m worried that Zoe and I might get stuck somewhere.”

  “Oh, that wouldn’t be good. But I don’t know if I can handle not seeing my granddaughter for one more day.” Her voice sounded playful yet tinged with sadness.

  “I know. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’ll be able to make it today. Maybe if they plow, we can make it tomorrow. At least it’s a long weekend.”

  “That’s true. I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Take care!”

  “Bye, Mom.” She hung up and dialed her brother. “Hey, Johnny. Bad news.”

  “Don’t tell me. You’ve decided to deny us your green bean casserole.”

  “Something like that. I’m afraid we’re not going anywhere today. Maybe we can dig ourselves out tomorrow and pop by for a visit.”

  He sighed. “I cleaned my house for nothing. Or what I mean is that I made those four little munchkins clean the house for nothing.” He chuckled.

  She knew he was just joking. Ever since the divorce, he’d been spoiling his kids. “It won’t be for nothing if we come tomorrow.”

  “Ha! There’s no way this place will still look decent 24 hours from now. You, silly mother-of-an-only-child. You’re clueless.”

  Melodie laughed a little. “Yeah, I suppose I am. Zoe is pretty easy.”

  “My kids are easy, too. They’re just messy.”

  “Well, we’ll miss you guys today. You’ll be eating turkey and pie while we’re stuck eating beans.” She tried to remember how much milk was in the fridge. Why hadn’t she paid attention to the weather forecast? Why hadn’t she stocked up on groceries? She felt like a bad mother, which was unacceptable since that’s all she was anymore. A mother. Nothing else. She decided to get off the phone before melancholy overtook her. “Gotta go.”

  “Bye, sis.”

  She disconnected the line and stared at the snow. The way it surrounded her house made her feel trapped. The fact that she’d had to cancel seeing her family weighed her down.

  Zoe ran into the room still in her long johns, but barefoot. “Which should I wear?” She held up a yellow chiffon dress in one hand and a lilac one in the other.

  “It doesn’t matter. We’re not going to see your cousins today after all.”

  “Awww. But I wanted to build a snowman with them.”

  Melodie nodded. “I know. It’s disappointing. But we can build our own snowman.” It would be a good distraction from her blues. “Why don’t you see if we have a carrot for the nose?”

  Zoe draped the dresses over the couch, went to the fridge and opened the vegetable drawer. “Nope.”

  “We’ll just have to improvise.” Craning her neck toward the open fridge, Melodie saw that they had half a gallon of milk, a carton of orange juice, a loaf of bread and that was about it. It certainly wouldn’t feel like Thanksgiving when they were going to be all alone eating sandwiches.

  After Zoe put away her dresses, they bundled up and went outside. The snow was perfect for rolling into spheres, so they had good luck forming their snowman base. Zoe even tossed a few snowballs at her, which made her laugh at her daughter’s terrible aim. She threw a few back, purposefully hitting Zoe’s body and not her face. Soon the snowman was complete with a matching argyle scarf and hat. He had rocks for eyes and a smile. They stood back and considered him.

  Zoe scratched her head. “He’s missing something.”

  “I think he looks good. Maybe we can find something else in the house for a nose.”

  “Yeah, but Frosty has a pipe, too. Did Dad smoke a pipe?”

  The question knocked the wind out of Melodie. Was Zoe already forgetting what her dad was like? He believed hard work was the best exercise and ate only organic food. “No, your dad didn’t smoke.”

  “Too bad.” Then Zoe dropped on her back and started making a snow angel. “You make one, too, Mommy.”

  The sun twinkled off of the waves of snow, inspiring her to embrace the weather. She lowered herself to the ground and flapped her arms and legs like she had as a child. It’d probably been twenty years since she’d done this and it was more fun than she remembered. When she stood, she brushed some of the snow off her legs.

  “Hey there, neighbor,” a male voice came from the road. She looked over to see Conner, wearing his motorcycle jacket and ear muffs, walking toward her. “I see you’re making the best of this winter wonderland.”

  Melodie laughed. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “About that. . .” He kept his hands in his coat pockets. “Do you have plans?”

  “We were supposed to go see my family, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.” She gestured toward the white hills where the road should’ve been.

  “I wanted to invite you over to our house. I have a turkey in the oven and there’s no way the two of us can eat all of it. We’ll be eating turkey sandwiches for the next three months if you don’t help us.”

  “Oh, no. We’ll be fine. We don’t want to crash your family dinner.”

  He shook his head. “The only family we have is each other. I know Bella would love to see Zoe. We have a good hill for sledding out back.”

  Zoe started throwing snow up into the air. “Yea! Can we go, Mom? Please?”

  She took a deep breath and considered her answer. Spending the holiday with her neighbors sounded better than eating PB & J and missing her family. “As long as we’re not imposing.”

  He smiled. “Not at all.” He surveyed their snowman. “He’s pretty handsome.”

  “Thanks,” Zoe said.

  He pulled a carrot out of his pocket and stuffed it where the snowman’s nose should’ve been. “That’s better.”

  Zoe looked at the snowman. “Do you have a pipe, too?”

  “Not with me. But we might be able to find one in my grandfather’s things.”

  Zoe clapped her mittens together and chunks of snow fell to the ground. “This is gonna be the best Thanksgiving ever!”

  A couple of hours later, Melodie had showered and put on a burgundy cashmere sweater and dark-washed jeans. She and Zoe sat around the Walkers’ dining room table, draped with an autumn-themed tablecloth, and enjoyed a feast to rival Ma
rtha Stewart’s. Melodie was pleased she’d at least had a bottle of white wine to bring along.

  When Conner reached for seconds of her green bean casserole, she held up her hand. “Don’t feel like you have to pretend to like my meager contribution to this meal.”

  “I’m not pretending. I love green bean casserole. Doesn’t everybody?”

  She shrugged. “It’s a tradition in my family.”

  “Mine, too. My grandmother would always play around with the recipe, adding Cajun seasoning one year and capers another.”

  Zoe made a face. “Yuck.” That’s what Melodie thought, too, but she was too polite to say anything.

  Conner laughed. “Yeah. Sometimes you just shouldn’t mess with the original.” He took a bite of the casserole. “Mmm.”

  At this point, Zoe’s plate was clean and Bella had left some sweet potatoes in a pile. Bella looked at her dad. “Can we go play?”

  Eyeing the uneaten vegetable, he lowered his brows. “You didn’t touch the potatoes.”

  “You know I don’t like them. Pleeeease don’t make me eat them. It’s a holiday. Can’t we skip the clean your plate rule today?”

  “All right.”

  The girls both jumped up and Bella led the way to her room. Soon they were arguing about who got to pretend to be the cat and who got to play the vet.

  Melodie smiled at Conner. “This should be interesting. Two only children used to getting their way.”

  “It’s not easy, is it? Being a single parent, raising an only child.”

  “I remember, growing up, there was one girl in my class who was an only child. I thought she was so spoiled. She had her own bathroom and a telephone in her bedroom. Nowadays, it seems everybody’s kid has a cell phone, but back then, it was a big deal.”

  He nodded. “I know what you mean.”

  “Zoe’s been begging me for a smartphone, but I just don’t know. With all the crazy stuff kids do, I’m nervous.”

  “Sure. I find it comforting, though, to know that Bella can reach me whenever she needs to. If she misses the school bus or if there were ever an emergency. . . .”

  “I hate to even think about that.” She took a drink of the white wine Conner had poured her. It had helped loosen her up when they’d first sat down at the table. She raised her glass. “Why aren’t you having any?”

  He ran his hand through his wavy, dark hair, then lowered his voice as if he didn’t want the girls to hear. “I can’t. I’m an alcoholic.”

  She set her glass down with a thump. “Oh. Sorry. Is it hard for you to watch me drink?”

  “No. It’s fine.”

  Words escaped her. She appreciated his revealing something so personal, but she also didn’t know what to say. “I’m not a big drinker myself.” Well, that wasn’t exactly brilliant. In the background, she could hear one of the girls meowing and then two sets of giggles. “I guess they worked things out. Sometimes I worry she doesn’t play with other kids enough.” She could feel herself babbling to fill the silence, but the alcohol made it difficult to stop. “I had hoped to have more children. To give Zoe either a baby brother or sister. What about you?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed beneath his scruffy throat. “The truth is, when Bella was born, I wasn’t ready to be a father. I still wanted to party on the weekends and unfortunately, her mother did, too. I never even considered having more kids.”

  Again, Melodie felt as if she’d stepped in it. “Sorry. So, where’s Bella’s mother now?”

  “She died.”

  “Sorry.” That’s all she seemed to be saying. “We can talk about something else.”

  He took a deep breath as if to transition topics. “I saw the For Sale sign in your yard. I take it your last interview didn’t go so well.”

  “No, it did not.”

  “I thought that motorcycle ride would do the trick. It always helps free my mind when I’m stressed.”

  “The ride was great. I was definitely less nervous than usual. But the guy interviewing me was a total jerk. He said stay-at-home moms don’t have any value.”

  “What? I think it’s great you gave up a big paycheck to be there for Zoe. And I know I’m loving this opportunity to be a stay-at-home dad for Bella. Now, that’s a job that doesn’t get much respect. A man who doesn’t work in this society is seen as a loser.”

  “I don’t think so. I think a man devoted to his child is attractive.” As soon as she said it, she felt her cheeks warm.

  Thank goodness Zoe and Bella dashed into the room just then. Bella put her hands on her dad’s shoulder. “Can I take Zoe out to the barn to check on the kittens?”

  He made eye contact with Melodie to see if it was all right with her, which it was. “Sure. Just make sure you put on your hat and gloves.”

  From the way he said it, Melodie could tell it was something he’d had to repeat many times. She admired his involvement with Bella. It reminded her a bit of Paul. He’d been a great father, too. Something squeezed her heart and she forced herself to look away.

  Zoe bounced on her toes. “Did you find the pipe for my snowman?”

  Conner shook his head. “I haven’t yet. As soon as I clear these dishes, I’ll see if I can find it.”

  Melodie stood. “Why don’t you look while I put things away?”

  “No, you’re the guest,” he said.

  They had eaten on plain white dishes, not china. “You have a dishwasher, don’t you? It’s no trouble. You’ll make Zoe’s day if you find the pipe, which means you’ll be making my day, too.”

  The girls zipped out of the room as quickly as they’d arrived. Conner hesitated, but then walked down the hall. “I’ll be right back.”

  While he was gone, Melodie loaded up the dishwasher. Once the table was cleared, she put the left-over food in the refrigerator and since Conner was still gone, she ran hot water in the sink. She looked below and found some Dawn and squirted it in, creating a few tiny bubbles in the air. After opening several drawers, she located a dish cloth and washed the serving dishes that were too big for the machine. By the time she finished, she figured Conner had been gone at least twenty or thirty minutes. Slowly she wiped off the counters and then headed down the hall where she’d last seen him.

  At the first door on her left, she saw him sitting on a double bed. She stepped inside. “Hey, don’t worry if you can’t find it.”

  He held up a pipe, but didn’t speak. He seemed to be in a daze of some sort. Then she noticed his brown eyes had a sheen to them, as if he’d been fighting back tears.

  She sat down next to him on the bed, careful to keep some distance between them. “Are you all right?”

  “I love the smell of pipe tobacco. To me, it epitomizes my grandfather. When I was a kid, I thought if I smoked a pipe, then I’d be a man, too.” A faint smile pulled at his lips. “I remember stealing this pipe and hiding behind the barn. But I didn’t know how to pack it or clean it, so I just shoved some tobacco in it. My grandfather smelled my clothes as soon as I came back and grounded me for a week.”

  “He was basically a father to you, wasn’t he?”

  He held the pipe near his nose for a whiff. “My real dad wasn’t ready to be a father and I swore I’d never be anything like him. Yet I grew up, became a drunk and ignored my kid just like he did.”

  “From what I see, you’re a wonderful father to Bella.”

  Blinking rapidly, he shook his head. “Maybe now, but not always.” They sat there in silence for a while. He held the pipe close to her face so she could inhale the aroma. “Isn’t that amazing?”

  She nodded. “My great-grandfather smoked a pipe. Whenever I pass a tobacco shop, it makes me think of him.”

  “What about you? Did you ever smoke?”

  “A pipe?”

  “Or cigarettes or pot.” He smiled mischievously.

  She laughed. “Definitely not.”

  “You were such a goody-two-shoes, weren’t you?”

  “I was just too chicken to break th
e rules. Looking back, I wonder if I missed out.” Now she was too old. She was a mother. The chance for adventure was long gone.

  “Don’t regret not being stupid when you were young. I have a million more regrets than you’ll ever have.” He took a breath and handed her the pipe. “Here.”

  When his fingers touched hers, a current vibrated through her body. “No, I couldn’t take this. It means too much to you.”

  He pressed it deep into her palm and the zapping continued. “Zoe’s snowman needs a pipe.”

  She looked into his gray eyes. He’d obviously overcome neglectful parents and his own addiction in order to become a better man. To become a loving father. She admired him for that.

  He gazed back at her and her heart pounded. What was she doing sitting next to him on a bed? What was she doing wishing he’d touch her again?

  Time seemed to slow down as his head moved closer. Soon, she felt the warmth of his lips on hers. Her heart exploded like a firecracker. God, it had been too long since she’d felt like this. She reached up and touched his prickly five o’clock shadow. He wrapped his arms around her back and part of her wanted to give in to this. She knew she should pull away, but she didn’t want to.

  Outside the window, she heard a loud engine approaching and then lingering nearby. Conner broke off the kiss, much to her disappointment.

  He looked through the glass pane. “Who could that be?”

  She turned her head to see someone on a snowmobile in the yard. The engine stopped and a female figure lifted a ski mask, revealing a mass of blonde locks. It was Sunny. The woman that had interrupted her and Conner once before. The woman whose nose was pierced, who was younger and wilder than she was.

  Twisting her wedding band, Melodie stood. “I’d better go.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Before Conner could catch his breath from that amazing kiss, his sexy neighbor was off the bed and headed for the exit.