Come Home, Cowboy

by Cathy McDavid

He was a fine man. And a wonderful father. Whatever he lacked in experience, he made up for in heart and effort. And he was so very considerate of her feelings.

  Was that enough? Only a man with incredible patience and a huge capacity to love would be right for her. From what she’d seen of Josh, he had those qualities. He was also the father of two young children who required his patience and love. They were his priority, as they should be.

  “I finished.” Nathan pushed his breakfast plate away and tried to climb down from his booster seat.

  The instant Cara lowered him to the floor, Kimberly wanted down from her high chair. Squealing, she slapped the tray, spilling her bottle of apple juice. That triggered a crying fit.

  Cara righted the bottle. “Tia Raquel, I have to go.”

  “Me, too. Service starts in ten minutes.” She’d want to find her friends and sit with them.

  After clearing the table and washing the dishes, including the mugs from last night’s hot chocolate, Cara figured the children could use a bath. Portions of their breakfast had dried to a hard crust on their faces and hands.

  She kept them with her, not daring to let them wander. They went to the bedroom, where she selected clean outfits for the day. In the apartment’s small bathroom, she turned on the tub’s spigots and adjusted the temperature of the water.

  To Nathan’s delight, she found some bubble bath in the cabinet beneath the sink, a remnant from when she’d lived here, and added it to the running water. He immediately hung over the side of the tub and thrust his hands into the bubbles.

  “Careful.” Cara reached for him. “Get back.”

  He did, for two seconds. Long enough for Kimberly to crawl off.

  “Come back.”

  Caring for two children was hard. Cara had her hands full every moment. Literally, had her hands full.

  It was overwhelming and challenging, yes, but also exhilarating. She was ready for more. At least, she wanted to be ready for more.

  Deciding rambunctious Nathan was probably too much for delicate little Kimberly, Cara chose to bathe them separately. With the water at the right level, not too deep, she sat Kimberly in the safety seat, sticking the suction cups to the tub floor. The baby laughed and kicked her feet, splashing water and launching bubbles into flight.

  “Aren’t you silly?” Feeling as if she was bathing an octopus rather than a girl, Cara wet a washcloth, added a dab of liquid soap and cleaned Kimberly’s crust-covered face.

  Nathan wasn’t happy about being excluded. He threw a plastic dinosaur into the water. It landed on Kimberly’s foot, and she squealed.

  “No, no. Be good.”

  Nathan tried. His version of being good. Cara no sooner finished washing Kimberly than he was back to shoving his hands in the water. By now, his pajamas were soaked.

  Cara released a long breath. Shampooing Kimberly’s hair would have to wait. How did Josh manage? He had less experience than she did with children.

  Perhaps she’d underestimated him. Recalling their night together and his willingness to respect her wishes, she realized she might have underestimated a lot of things about him.

  Lifting Kimberly out of the safety seat, she toweled her dry, put her in a clean diaper and pink T-shirt, then deposited her on the rug for a moment. Freshening the water and adding more bubble bath, she undressed Nathan. He was old enough and big enough that he didn’t need a safety seat. The rubber mat would suffice just fine.

  He insisted on more toys. Along with the dinosaur, a plastic yellow duck and colorful floating blocks provided handy obstacles around which he could navigate a boat and submarine.

  “Let me wash your face, mijo.”

  Kimberly busied herself crawling from one end of the bathroom floor to the other, investigating the vanity cabinet door and the space behind the toilet. Nathan didn’t mind the tear-free soap and giggled when Cara tweaked his shiny clean nose.

  “This isn’t so hard.” She’d no sooner spoken the words than Kimberly let loose with a loud cry. Cara twisted sideways. The little girl was trapped behind the laundry hamper. Okay, trapped was an exaggeration, but to her very young way of thinking, the hamper held her prisoner.

  “I’ll get you,” Cara said. “Hang on.”

  Making sure Nathan was fine, Cara moved the hamper aside, freeing Kimberly. The experience had apparently scared the baby, for she wouldn’t move and continued crying.

  “Now, now,” Cara said in a soothing voice and picked her up. “Nothing happened. You’re fine.”

  Kimberly’s wails increased. Was she hurt? A quick inspection revealed no obvious injuries. Maybe she was hungry. No, she’d eaten a good breakfast. A wet diaper? Not that, either. Tired? Possibly, but she’d been awake only about an hour after sleeping through the night.

  This was perplexing. But weren’t babies like that, often crying over nothing? Because they couldn’t talk, adults were left with the task of trying to deduce what was wrong.

  “Come on, little one.” Cara reached for a tissue from the box on the back of the toilet and dabbed at Kimberly’s tears.

  The tissue fascinated Kimberly and, like that, her crying stopped. She grabbed the tissue with a chubby hand. Cara let her have it.

  “Oops. No!”

  Big mistake. Kimberly had shoved the tissue in her mouth.

  “Give it here.” Cara removed the tissue, which resulted in renewed cries. “It’s not food.”

  Thump!

  She turned her head, not seeing Nathan. Where was he?

  A jolt blazed through her. “Oh, God!”

  Her realization was followed instantly by his shriek of terror. Nathan had slipped and fallen onto his side in the tub. Impossible! The rubber mat was supposed to prevent accidents.

  Cara lunged for the tub. Hitting her knees, she put Kimberly on the floor and hauled Nathan from the tub. His shrieks escalated, and Cara saw the reason at once. He sported a large, angry red welt on his forehead that was already swelling.

  “No, no, no!”

  This couldn’t be happening. Not again. She’d been right there the entire time. Nathan wasn’t out of her sight for a moment.

  Except, that wasn’t true. She’d looked away to help Kimberly.

  It had taken Javier a minute to climb the shelving unit in the laundry room and fall, hitting his head and fatally injuring himself.

  “Please, not again.” Cara squeezed Nathan to her, then released him in order to examine the welt more closely.

  He squirmed in protest. “Want down!”

  “Let me see, mijo.” She didn’t like the looks of the welt. What to do, what to do?

  Wait, where was Kimberly? Cara twisted around, going weak with relief when she spotted the baby once again behind the toilet.

  “Think,” she told herself. Nathan’s wails in her ear didn’t help her concentration.

  Standing, she retrieved Kimberly with her free arm. Somehow, she managed to wrap Nathan in a towel and carry both children to the kitchen. There, she put Kimberly in her high chair. The baby girl wasn’t happy about being confined, but Cara decided the chair was the safest place for her. She needed to focus her attention on Nathan.

  Should she call his pediatrician? Did he have one? She inspected the welt again. Had it swollen more? Hard to tell.

  She studied his pupils, remembering how often the doctors had done that with Javier. Nathan’s appeared normal, but what did she know? She had no medical training.

  “Nathan, are you okay? Please, tell me.”

  He didn’t answer, merely stared at her with tears running down his cheeks.

  Ice. She should put ice on the welt. Wait, that wasn’t enough. She should take him to the medical clinic in town, just to be on the safe side. Were they open Sundays? She didn’t know or couldn’t remember. Her thoughts were t
oo jumbled.

  Raquel would know. She’d taken August to the clinic on several occasions. Locating her cell phone, Cara started to dial, only to disconnect. Raquel was in church, and she’d have her phone shut off.

  Another glance at Nathan’s welt made Cara’s concern shoot through the roof. It was definitely swelling. What if he had a concussion or, worse, a fracture?

  “Want down,” Nathan insisted.

  He was active and alert. That was a good sign.

  Josh. Should she call him? Let him know what happened and that she was taking Nathan to the clinic? If it was closed, she’d drive into Rio Verde. All the way to the nearest hospital in Scottsdale if necessary.

  “Damn,” she muttered when the call went straight to voice mail. He was probably out of range. Reception was iffy on many parts of the ranch. She left a message, but didn’t hold much hope he’d get it before she left.

  Cara hurriedly finished dressing Nathan, then put him in the crib to keep him contained while she attended Kimberly. He objected fiercely and tried to climb out.

  “Stay,” she admonished, for all the good it did.

  Luckily, the diaper bag was packed and ready to take. Cara grabbed it, the children, their coats, and Josh’s truck key and was off.

  Barely holding herself together, she loaded the children into the truck. Thankfully, the clinic was just opening when they arrived. Nathan was their first patient for the day, and the nurse practitioner on duty saw him immediately.

  “I think he’ll be fine,” she assured Cara after examining him.

  “Does he need a CAT scan?”

  The matronly woman in scrubs shook her head. “Let’s see how he does. Watch for any symptoms of concussion.” She listed them. “If you’re the least bit worried, take him to the emergency room. But in my opinion, it’s no more than a bump.” She touched Cara’s arm. “Kids are resilient.”

  They weren’t. They were fragile as fine china. But Cara didn’t argue.

  In the truck, with everyone loaded and the paperwork in her purse, Cara sat behind the steering wheel. She couldn’t bring herself to turn the key in the ignition. Her hands were shaking too badly.

  “I hungry,” Nathan said from the backseat.

  If he wanted to eat, he must be feeling better.

  Every ounce of strength Cara possessed instantly drained from her body, leaving her light-headed and boneless. Resting her forehead on the steering wheel, she cried great racking sobs. She didn’t stop until someone knocked on the window. Through the glass, she heard a man’s muffled voice asking if she was all right.

  She hadn’t been all right for over two years. She was a fool to think one night in Josh’s arms could heal her.

  * * *

  JOSH PUSHED OPEN the back door and stormed into the kitchen. “Cara! Where are you?” He’d gone to the apartment first and discovered it empty. Fear propelling him, he’d raced to the ranch house. “Cara!”

  “In here.”

  The response came from the family room. Only it wasn’t Cara’s voice, but Raquel’s.

  Josh covered the distance in three seconds flat. Raquel sat on the couch with his children, Nathan in her lap, drinking from a sippy cup, and Kimberly beside her, curled in a ball and fast asleep.

  “How is he?” Josh headed straight for Nathan, who stopped drinking and raised his arms in a bid for attention.

  “Fine,” Raquel said, stroking his hair.

  “Daddy! I fell.”

  “I heard, buddy.” He lifted Nathan up and held him close, relief coursing through him.

  When he’d finally gotten a signal on his phone, the display showed two messages, both from Cara. The first one frantically summarized what had happened and informed that she was taking Nathan to the clinic. The second one let him know Nathan was pronounced okay by the nurse practitioner, and they were headed home.

  While all appeared good, the odd quality in Cara’s voice had alarmed Josh. Was she holding back? Waiting to deliver the bad news until he got home?

  “Look.” Nathan showed Josh his bump and told the story of what happened, much of his baby talk hard to understand.

  “That’s some goose egg you have.” He patted the boy’s back.

  The bump didn’t look too bad to Josh. A little worse, he supposed, than others his son had sustained. Likely there would be a lot more in his future, along with scraped knees, bruised elbows and maybe a broken bone or two.

  Nathan hooked an arm around Josh’s neck and resumed drinking his juice. Josh relaxed. His kids were safe, and the crisis had passed. Now he could concentrate on Cara.

  Come to think of it, where was she? Raquel spoke before he could ask.

  “I’ve been keeping an eye on him. Cara told me what to look for. I haven’t noticed any signs of concussion but, to be safe, we have to watch him for the next twenty-four hours.”

  “Thank you, Raquel.”

  “You know I’m happy to help.” Her expression softened as she gazed fondly at each child. “Cara mentioned the sitter you hired didn’t work out.”

  “She was nice enough, but the kids didn’t warm to her. Me, either, for that matter.”

  “I’d be happy to keep watching them. For as long as you need me.”

  Josh shook his head. “I can’t impose.”

  “It’s my pleasure. They’re your father’s grandchildren. Taking care of them makes me feel closer to him. It also gives me something to fill my time. I spend too much of it with only myself for company since August passed.”

  Josh studied the woman who had shared his father’s life and owned his heart, wondering if he’d be able to make the same kind of sacrifices for love his father had. Though, to be fair, his father had been put in a difficult, almost impossible, situation.

  The actions of Josh’s mother and Raquel’s father had affected so many. Did they know or even care?

  “Where’s Cara?” he asked.

  “At the sanctuary.”

  Josh should have guessed. “Is she all right? Her voice mail message sounded strange.”

  “Nathan falling, hurting his head...it was hard on her.”

  “But he’s fine.”

  “She was reminded of Javier.”

  His birthday! Of course. Josh should have remembered. “She must be a wreck.”

  Raquel smiled. “Why don’t you go see her? I’ll take Nathan.” She held out her arms as if Josh had already agreed.

  “I won’t be long.” He kissed Nathan’s head and passed the boy to Raquel.

  “Abuela,” Nathan happily said as he plopped onto the couch. “Read Rabbit and Fox.”

  Grandmother. Josh’s brows rose.

  Raquel blushed guiltily. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  He discovered he didn’t. Not in the least. His kids already had two grandmothers, but, considering the unusual blending of their families, Nathan calling Raquel by Abuela seemed to fit right in.

  “I promise I won’t be long.”

  “Take your time,” she called after him as he headed through the house and out the kitchen door and leaped over the puddles left by the rain.

  Cara was in the feeding station, unloading hay. She didn’t appear to have heard his approach. No surprise. Rain pelted the metal roof like a thousand hammers. There was less need to supplement the mustangs’ feed these days. Forty fewer head made a difference. Besides those adopted out and the one raffled off at the fair, Rusty had taken three in exchange for farrier services and Josh had his two, Wind Walker and Hurry Up.

  Soon enough, Cara would have more to take their places. She never turned away a mustang in need. It wasn’t in her nature.

  He walked through the gate. His movements must have alerted her, for she stopped in the middle of tossing hay into the feeder and turned to stare at him.r />
  Not the welcome he was expecting and far different from their parting this morning. Still, he flashed her a warm smile.

  “Hey, honey.”

  “Hi.” She resumed loading hay.

  He came up behind her and, slipping an arm around her waist, pulled her against him. He wanted her to know he understood and was there for her. “I’m sorry you had to go through that with Nathan.”

  She didn’t move, every muscle tensing. “Don’t.”

  Don’t what? Hold her?

  He let his arm drop. “What’s wrong?”

  “Not now.” She walked away, in the direction of the flatbed trailer, which was hooked behind the ranch pickup.

  Okay. She was obviously more distraught than he’d first realized. He probably should have started out talking rather than touching. But he’d missed her and been worried.

  Following her to the trailer, he grabbed a bale of hay by the twine binding it together and carried the bale to the next feeder. He let go, and the bale dropped heavily to the ground. Three cuts to the twine with his brand-new pocketknife freed the flakes.

  He loaded the feeder. Several minutes passed in silence with neither him nor Cara talking.

  Finally she paused, hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”

  “Helping you.”

  “Not that.”

  He also paused. “I’m waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing.” She loaded more hay.

  “Cara, Nathan’s fine. The bump is no big deal.”

  She froze and gaped at him. “No big deal? I was scared out of my mind. He could have died.”

  “Don’t take this wrong—I’m not minimizing your feelings—but he slipped in the tub and hurt his head. That’s all.”

  “That’s all! Javier died from a fall.”

  “Six feet. He fell six feet onto bare concrete. Nathan slipped in the tub.”

  “You are minimizing my feelings.”

  Josh advanced. At her frown, he halted. Three feet separated them. “I’m simply trying to put things into perspective.”

  “Now I’m insulted.”

  “Then help me understand.”

  Cara’s chin trembled making it hard for her to speak. “I lost control.”