For the Birds

by Angela Roquet

  I considered his words for a moment, and then I had to ask. “How likely is she to attack me again?”

  Bub reached across the table and rubbed the top of my hand. “I’m sure she’ll keep to herself. She’s made her point. I’m truly sorry that you were dragged into this mess.”

  “I’ve been in worse fixes.” I bit my lower lip and braced myself. ”In fact, I was in one today. A winged siren tried to sabotage my morning harvest.”

  Bub’s fork clattered onto his plate. “What? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “Well, I was going to call, but then I was whisked off to be interrogated by the Fates. It all happened so fast, and then I had to get ready for our date. I just figured I’d tell you at dinner, like I’m doing now,” I said, kneading my napkin in my lap.

  Bub was quiet for a minute. “It was winged?”

  I nodded. “You don’t think Eurynome would be employing winged sirens, do you?”

  “It’s doubtful, but then, we really don’t know why else it would have shown up at your harvest, now do we?”

  “I didn’t really take the time to ask. I did kill it though.”

  Bub’s eyes widened. “Well, I suppose it’s anyone’s guess then.”

  I shrugged. “I could always call a timeout next time I’m attacked. Say, pardon me, but would you mind telling me whose dirty work you’re doing?”

  Bub snorted. “Well, I’d like to say that I’m relieved at the possibility that this attack isn’t my fault, but that relief is a little stunted by the fact that we’re now blind.”

  I sighed and went ahead and took a bite of the raw trout. It was better than I expected.

  Bub sipped at his wine with a frown, his brow shifted up and down as he thought over our conundrum. “Limbo City has been rebel free for months now, but obviously someone is able to gain access to your schedule.” His English accent came through thickest on the word schedule, and he said it like the c wasn’t there at all. It tickled me and I had to hide a smile behind my napkin.

  “What might their goal be?” Bub mused. “Did the siren make an attempt on you? Did you fancy her an assassin? Or did she seem more interested in the souls you were harvesting?”

  “I really don’t know. She surprised me. So I threw a spear through her chest and set her on fire.” I didn’t want to go into the finer details of my near heart attack. The siren hadn’t seemed too interested in anything until she noticed that her song didn’t affect me or the girl I was there for.

  I’d managed to surprise Bub again. He was struggling to look concerned, but pride kept slipping through his expression. “Did you use one of the Latin incantations from the demon defense course?”

  “I did.”

  Bub beamed and scooped up a spoonful of caviar. “You vixen you.”

  I patted my napkin over my mouth again. My lipstick was done for the night, but I was hoping it had been dark enough to leave a nice stain behind.

  “So.” I leaned in closer, lowering my voice again. “Any special after dinner plans?”

  Bub winced. “I have to get back to Tartarus and see if anything is missing.”

  “Still waiting to see if the thieves will strike again?” I jutted my bottom lip out, disappointed that our fancy date was still half business.

  Bub’s phone buzzed softly in his pocket. He pulled it into his lap and frowned at the screen. “Well, the good news is that no one seems brave enough to make an attempt on our lives tonight.”

  “And the bad news?”

  “We’re going to have to skip desert if we want to make it out of here without getting trampled by paparazzi. They’re already piling up outside.”

  Camera flashes flickered off the windows, confirming the update he had just received. I groaned.

  The sidewalk was slick when we stepped out. The sea was churning roughly, and it sprayed a fine mist over the city. Two photographers in raincoats were arguing at the foot of the stairs. One was a nephilim. I could tell by the feathers sticking out of the yellow collar of his jacket. The other looked like he could be a soul. Some of them had side jobs in addition to working at the factory. They stopped when they spotted us and began clicking off pictures in between barking nosy questions, one after another.

  “Captain Harvey, over here!”

  Four or five camera flashed blurred my vision, and I lifted a hand up to shield my eyes.

  “Ms. Harvey, look this way!”

  “ How true are the allegations that you stole Atropos’ shears?”

  “Has Meng Po brainwashed you into doing her bidding?”

  “How’s the Lord of the Flies in the sack?”

  Bub took my free arm and helped guide me down the marble stairs. Two horned bodyguards moved in to flank us as we climbed inside the limo.

  “The nerve of those ghouls!” Bub’s nostrils flared as he pounded on the privacy class between us and the driver. The car eased forward, warning the vultures before taking off down Market Street.

  “Atropos shears. Of course! No wonder she was such a wreck.” It made perfect sense now. Although, it did seem odd that the city news rats knew about it.

  “The Fates are a noisy bunch, and the souls like to talk,” Bub sighed, answering that question.

  When the limo stopped outside Holly House, Bub walked me to the front door of the building.

  “I’ll call you,” he said, giving my cheek a quick peck before I slipped inside.

  Charlie, the deskman, gave me a friendly wave as I made my way to the elevators. It took all of my will to smile back at him, and even then, I knew it was a weak one. That was by far the most expensive and most disappointing date I had ever been on.

  Chapter 12

  “Don’t cling to fame. You’re just borrowing it. It’s like money. You’re going to die, and somebody else is going to get it.”

  -Sonny Bono

  The picture on the cover of the latest Limbo’s Laundry was not a flattering one. My mouth was gaping open in horrified surprise. One of my eyes was squinted shut from the harsh flashbulbs, and there was a spot of red wine on my pretty white dress. Bub was standing next to me, looking like his usual delicious self, even with the grimace. The headline read “Reaper de Jour: Is Beelzebub’s new beauty a brainwashed burglar?”

  I dropped my forehead on the edge of my desk and groaned. It never ceased to amaze me how many accusations and lies they could squeeze into a single headline. I couldn’t even enjoy the fact that they had called me a beauty, not while they were insinuating that I was bespelled by Meng, and worse yet, a thief. The de jour part wasn’t very nice either. I wasn’t some new fling of Bub’s. We had been out in public together plenty of times.

  “Seriously?” Grim was standing in my doorway. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

  “Seriously?” he repeated. His face was nearly purple, but his voice was even. I could almost hear him counting to ten in his head. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  He slapped a stack of tabloids down on my desk, and I jumped. I had a vision of the guy at the paper stand pissing himself as Grim cleaned out the bin.

  “Harvey.” Grim sighed tensely and closed his eyes. “If you so much as even think about going back to that factory, I will personally terminate you. Are we clear?” He opened his eyes to pierce me with them.

  I swallowed and nodded.

  He straightened the lapels of his jacket and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before opening my office door.

  I wanted to cry. I hadn’t even seen what the article had to say yet. I was contemplating whether or not I should even read it when Ellen slipped into my office.

  She was dressed down for the weekend, wearing a pair of navy capris with matching loafers and a cream blouse with navy polka dots. A cream headband held back her springy curls. She peeked down the hall, making sure she hadn’t been spotted and then closed the door softly behind her.

  “Lana, Lana, Lana!” she said in a whispery squeal, bouncing over to sit on the edge of m
y desk with a couple candy bars in hand. She tossed one to me and picked up a magazine off the top of the stack with a giggle. “My god, that is a sassy dress.”

  “Yeah, and how ‘bout that headline?” I rolled my eyes.

  “Oh, pish, everyone knows they’re full of baloney,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “The only reason anyone buys these anymore is for the pictures, and they definitely put the best one on the cover. You’ve got your hottest accessory on your arm.” She turned it around for me to see and tapped a finger on Bub’s chest. “Of course, the one of you in that green scarf was pretty spiffy too.”

  “There are more pictures?” I stood and snatched up one of the magazines, flipping to the article in the back. The headline articles were always in the back. That’s how they made sure all the other bogus stories about sea monsters and premature council predictions stood a chance at being seen.

  When I found the article featuring me I had to sit back down. It took up six pages in the book. There were pictures of me talking to Amy and a group of her demon friends outside of Purgatory Lounge. Another spread showcased Meng and me leaving the factory in a hurry. The last set of pictures was of the night before, outside the Hearth with Bub. I felt sick. I didn’t even have to read the article to know the direction the anonymous so-called journalist was trying to lead everyone in. I really hoped Ellen was right and that everyone knew they were full of baloney.

  Ellen admired the pictures and nibbled on her candy bar from her perch on my desk. She rotated the book around again and pointed at the picture of me in the scarf. “Athena doesn’t carry those. Please tell me you got that at the market. I totally want one!”

  I nodded, still speechless as I gawked over the skewed story of my life.

  Ellen sighed. “Chin up, pretty. Next week they’ll be picking on someone new, and you’ll be old news.”

  “God, I hope so.” I picked up the candy bar she brought for me, wishing I had a cup of coffee to go with it, but absolutely certain that I wasn’t brave enough to risk going out in public yet. “How’s the break room coffee?”

  “You wanna cup?” Ellen hopped off my desk. “I’ll go grab us some more chocolate too. You look like you could use it.”

  I’d never seen Ellen bring any of the other captains coffee before. If any of them saw her, it would probably just add to the long list of reasons they detested me. Today, I really didn’t care. It was Saturday. I’d come in early to file some paperwork, but it could wait. I didn’t have to be down to the harbor for another hour or so.

  Ellen came back with our coffee and a stationary box under one arm. It was stuffed full of fat, caramel-filled truffles wrapped in pink and gold paper. She had the best hiding places. We sat on my desk and commenced to get high on caffeine and sugar. Ellen chattered on and on until she almost had me convinced that my life wasn’t totally ruined. She had a human vibe about her, and I liked it. It was like the only things that mattered to her were the things that didn’t really matter at all. Our conversations revolved around food, shoes, and unattainable men, but mostly unattainable men.

  Ellen didn’t have anyone special in her life, well, except for a pet toy phoenix named Duster. The breed was a rare mix that reduced the size of the traditional phoenix down to the size of a parakeet and enhanced it with the speech intelligence of an African Grey Parrot. Most of the features were still true to a regular phoenix, except for the gray belly and thicker, curved beak. The thing also experienced a shorter life cycle between resurrections.

  Duster hated everyone who wasn’t Ellen. The factory soul Ellen paid to come clean her apartment at Reapers Tower twice a week wouldn’t go near his cage, so Duster was constantly covered in his own resurrection ash, which meant Ellen was often covered in ash too. She kept a lint roller in her desk to clean the little talon and tail prints off her clothes during the cuter, more youthful days of his life cycle.

  It was easy to feel sorry for Ellen sometimes. She didn’t have a lot of friends. She didn’t have a career that would allow her to grow or advance, and she had to work in close proximity to Grim every day. I wasn’t sure how she managed to always be in such a good mood. It couldn’t just be the chocolate, though it was some really good chocolate.

  When the time finally came for me to go, I began to panic. “Maybe I should just play hooky today. I could have Kevin pass out the harvest lists.”

  Ellen put her hands on her hips. “You’ll just lend credit to that tabloid crap. Hold your head high, lady. You haven’t done anything wrong. Heck, act like you haven’t even seen it. If your unit knows what’s good for them, they’ll keep their mouths shut anyway.”

  “Kate Evans never passes up an opportunity to open her big mouth.”

  “Ha! Like she has any room to talk after the article they published about her last year.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Ellen giggled and then lowered her voice. “You musta been too busy with that special harvest Grim sent you on to hear about it, but she and Artemis had a little too much fun at that dive bar on the west side, and someone snapped off a picture of them with their lips locked. Oh, Apollo was in an uproar! It was just after the Oracle Ball, and he was still in town. That poor Alex still took the harlot back, even after the public mockery. It’s a wonder they’re still together.”

  I grinned, feeling better about the day, until Grim interrupted our girl talk by barging into my office.

  “Ms. Aries, I don’t pay you to gossip. Get back to work.”

  Ellen gasped and hopped off my desk. “Yes, sir.” She circled around him and rushed out of my office.

  Grim watched her with a scowl that he turned on me once she was down the hall. “Change of plans. You’re going to have to merge your harvest list for today with tomorrow’s. The Recovery Unit is getting hit pretty hard this year with all the natural disasters, and they could use a hand harvesting an earthquake in Indonesia today. Paul Brom will be there with a few of his team members to recover the souls that are out of your team’s reach, but you should be able to handle the rest.”

  He tossed a file on my desk and left without another word. And just when I was starting wrap my mind around facing Kate. Now I was going to have to spend the whole day with her. Super.

  Chapter 13

  “A single death is a tragedy;

  a million deaths is a statistic.”

  -Joseph Stalin

  I could tell Kate wanted to say something once we were all gathered together on the ship. She was fidgety and kept pressing her lips together. I hardly stopped to take a breath, not wanting to give her an opening, as I made the announcement about Indonesia and sent everyone off to double check the holds of their ships. We’d be collecting around a thousand souls today, which was actually quite a bit lighter than our usual daily intake, but I needed the break from Kate already.

  Josie stayed above deck with me while Kevin went to arrange the picnic tables and couches downstairs in our own hold. Josie and I hadn’t spent much time together over the summer outside of work. Between the new paper pushing captain duties and dating Bub, my extracurricular activities had become a distant memory. There was no time for shopping or coffee dates, poker games or all-nighters at Purgatory Lounge. I felt like I hardly knew how to talk to her anymore. She was struggling to find words for me too.

  “So, what was Kate’s problem?” she said finally, taking a long pull from her travel mug.

  “You mean you haven’t seen the cover of Limbo’s Laundry yet today?”

  “The bin was empty, and I was running too late to make an extra trip to the one on the north side. I needed to stop and grab a cup of coffee. Jenni ruined another pot this morning,” she grumbled.

  I dug through my duffle bag and handed her the one copy I had saved. The rest had gone through the industrial shredder in the copy room at Reapers Inc.

  I’m not sure that I’d ever seen coffee come out of Josie’s nose before, but I wouldn’t be forgetting it anytime soon.


  “Those bastards! I’m writing a letter to the editor.” She flipped through to the article and gasped. “No! I’m going to pay them a visit in person. Who the hell do they think they are, publishing crap like this!”

  I laughed. “I imagine Kate is just waiting for an opportune moment to crack a joke at my expense today.”

  Josie scowled. “Let the bitch just try.”

  “It’s okay. Just drop Artemis’s name. That should shut her up.”

  Her eyes went wide. “I’d almost forgotten.”

  Josie was a tabloid whore. She pretended that she only picked up Limbo’s Laundry when there was a review in there for one of the Muses’ theater productions, but I’d seen the stash she kept under her and Kevin’s bed, and she was constantly updating me on the latest rumors circulating through the city.

  We stood on the deck together in silence for a few minutes, glancing out over the fog-frosted sea or looking down when the hounds tromped past us as they chased each other around the ship. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, but it did bring a cloud of melancholy with it. We’d gone through spells before, losing each other to the excitement of a new lover or to the annoyance of our differences. This time was different. This time there was a wall of resentment she was trying to hurdle over on her way back to being good with me. For the first time, I ranked higher than she did in the reaper hierarchy.

  There were so many other little things widening the distance between us, but most of them were of the mundane human variety that we all liked to pretend didn’t affect us. I got to spend more time with Kevin, since I was his mentor. I dated more powerful men, whereas she had only been a fling for the likes of Horus and Apollo, eventually settling for the puppy love of a fresh academy graduate. Kevin was great, but he was still more tabula rasa than tall, dark, and mysterious. He was a safe choice, and maybe that’s what Josie needed right now. She hadn’t talked much about it, but there was plenty I hadn’t talked to her about too. That alone was probably the biggest factor deteriorating our friendship. She had stopped asking questions, but it didn’t matter. I heard them hanging in the air between us, like so many hopeful bubbles that I popped each time I rushed out the door for nothing so urgent that I couldn’t have taken ten minutes to sit down with her and come clean.