“Ummm…”
“Come on. I’m starving. Let’s get some breakfast.”
As quick as we could, we chucked all my shit back in the car and locked the doors before heading inside. My stomach rumbled painfully as we stepped through the door. There was food everywhere and it smelt so damn delicious I could feel my ass expanding as I breathed in the yumminess.
We were sitting around chatting, stuffing our faces in the most unladylike way when the door was flung open. It rattled the windows and almost came off the hinges, but no one cared. Standing there in all his smelly, soot-covered glory stood Derek with a tired smile on his face.
Mia was squashed in the corner of the booth beside me. That didn’t deter her, though. Her ear-splitting, mind-numbing squeal almost deafened me as she stepped over me and flung herself into his outstretched arms. That right there, that moment, that was love. Real butterflies in your stomach, tears streaming down your face love. Fuck me, did I want that.
“Miss me, did you?” Derek asked as I watched him press chaste kisses to her neck.
“Maybe,” Mia lied. The way her bright eyes were lit up gave away the truth. Ten minutes earlier she’d been yawning and complaining, and now, now there was no sign of tiredness. Only relief.
When the bell above the door tingled again, a dishevelled Nate fell through. Where Derek had come in looking happy to be there, Nate looked like he was about to curl up on the floor and sleep for a month. The weariness was evident.
Glancing over at Josie, I noticed the tears pooling in her eyes as she took her man in. Relief flooded her and her tears couldn’t be contained. “It’s okay, Josie. He’s here. He’s safe,” Payton assured her. I didn’t miss the way Payton’s voice wobbled. It was obvious to anyone looking, which right at the moment no one but me was, that although she was happy for Mia and Josie, she was desperate for Beau to hurry up and get his ass back here where he belonged.
“You going to go say hello?” I asked, not really sure what was going on. Josie hadn’t moved. While her sister Mia was wrapped around Derek like a vine, Nate and Josie just stayed exactly where they were, frozen to the spot, staring at each other. Not smiling, not scowling, just staring.
When a tiny foot stomped on my thigh, I remembered Matilda, who’d been quietly colouring, was here with us. Quickly I helped her down on to the floor, where she obviously wanted to be.
“Daddy!” she squealed as she raced across the bakery on her wobbly legs. She was usually pretty stable, but I think the excitement was getting to her ’cause she was running like I did when I was drunk.
I heard Josie’s hiccup and turned to look at her.
Holy shit! She was white as a ghost, and I was really worried she was about to pass out. Sliding a glass of water towards her, I wasn’t game to take my eyes off her as she picked it up with trembling fingers.
“D-d-did she just call him daddy?” Payton asked quietly.
I nodded.
What was the big deal? I didn’t get why everyone was looking so freaked out.
Nate had Matilda in his arms and he was hugging her so tightly I’d be lying if I didn’t hold a slight concern he’d crush her in his grip.
Payton scooted out of the booth and dragged Josie with her. “Go and say hi to your family,” she encouraged in the way only Payton knew how to. That was basically give you no other option than to do exactly what she said when she said it.
With a sharp nudge, Josie was on her feet and in Nate’s arms. Family. There it was, right in front of me. It was physically painful to watch. It wasn’t that I wanted Nate or Derek, it was more I wanted someone to look at me like they were looking at their partners. Their families. Their lives. I didn’t have that and it sucked ass.
Unable to sit there a second longer, I headed for the coffee machine and started pressing buttons. I needed another one, and I’m sure someone else wouldn’t say no either.
“You going to make me a cup there, sweetheart?” Adrian asked as he stepped up to the counter.
He looked like shit. Nate and Derek stunk, and were covered in dirt and soot, yet they still looked better than Adrian. He’d slept in his clothes and now he looked homeless. I wanted to send him upstairs to Payton’s apartment for a shower, but knew he wouldn’t go. He’d refused to budge from the moment he sat down. The deep worry lines etched into his forehead weren’t going anywhere any time soon. I couldn’t blame him. His home, and more importantly, his sons were still out there.
“Absolutely!” I replied, trying to sound as cheery as I could fake.
Payton shuffled past me and back into the kitchen. She was playing the supportive friend, attentive daughter-in-law role well, but she seemed to have forgotten I knew her better than that. While she might be putting on a brave face, I could see past all her bullshit and read her like a book. She was freaking out. Not some mild anxious moment either. She was about to start rocking in a corner freaking out. I’d give her a minute, then go check on her. I knew exactly where she’d be hiding.
I made Adrian a coffee and grabbed him a ham and cheese croissant from underneath the glass cover. After tossing it in the toaster, I shooed him over to what we’d quickly dubbed ‘his table’ in the corner. A moment later, I delivered his breakfast, and even though I’d just finished my own croissant and maybe a cinnamon scroll—not that I’m admitting to being such a pig—my stomach rumbled at the smell of delicious melted cheese.
“Need anything else?” I asked, wiping my hands on my butt. I really should go find an apron if I was going to keep this up.
“Just my boys safe and sound.”
“They will be.”
“You sound sure.”
I was. I had to be. There was no other option here. I wanted them to be safe more than I wanted to steal his breakfast and stuff myself. “Have you met your sons?”
“Yeah?”
“Then you know as well as I do how damn stubborn they are. They won’t let a little fire hurt them.”
He chuckled. Thank fuck! I needed him to not look so damn sad and miserable. It was hard enough keeping up with the emotions around here. I didn’t need a sobbing old man on my hands too.
“Yeah, you’re right about that.”
We stood there talking shit for a couple of minutes, pretty much taking pot shots at his boys, listing their flaws. I was surprised to see how well he knew them. Every time I’d heard Gage and Beau talk about him, they seemed to always make him sound so cold and distant. Like there was this wall between them that no one really understood or knew how to knock down.
I couldn’t help myself. I leant down and kissed his head.
“What was that for?” he asked, sounding slightly taken back.
“You look like you needed it.”
It was the truth. No point lying about it. From what Payton had told me, Adrian could be a down right asshole if he wanted to be. He was, in every sense of the word, a true blue Aussie bumpkin. He was stubborn as a mule, set in his ways and as demanding as hell. And I believed every single word. But right now, right here in this moment, I could also see the man behind the gruff façade. Behind the tough guy routine was a lovely old man who loved his family. It was such a shame he didn’t let everyone see it.
He had hold of my hand as he looked up at me with the most sad, soulful eyes I’d ever encountered. The photographer in me wished I had a camera in my hand so I could capture the moment forever. Instead, I’d just revel in his appreciative look.
“Why am I not surprised you’re chasing some skank?” a nasty, nasal voice screeched from behind me.
“I’m fine! Please stop fussing,” I begged as Jenna bandaged up my wrist.
Even though it hurt like a bitch I didn’t need to be babied. I’d be fine. It was just a sprain. And it was my own stupid fault. Connor had warned me, I just didn’t listen. The branch was coming down and I was too slow getting out of the way. By the time I realised it was going to hit me in the head, it was too late. All I could do was brace for the impact. That’s
why my damn arm was twice the size it should be. At some point I’d thought it was a good idea. Right now though, I wasn’t so sure.
“You’re a stubborn ass, Gage McIntyre!” she admonished as she secured the bandage with a metal clip that looked like it had teeth.
“Yes, ma’am.”
A minute later she let me go and I was free. Stomping out of the hall, I found Connor and Beau leaning against the fence of the desolate and kinda sad-looking football field. The once green, lush grass was now dead, and in some places, was nothing but dirt. Even though it’d come back to life once this hot summer ended, it was still kinda depressing to see it like this.
“You ready, precious?” Connor teased as I settled my sunglasses over my eyes.
With my good hand, I flicked him the bird. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his shit. I was tired, I was hungry, and I stank. The sooner I got home, the better. Truthfully, I was still pissed at them for dragging me into town to get my wrist checked. I knew it wasn’t broken. They knew it wasn’t broken. Why they were acting like such girls about it, I had no idea.
“Let’s get the hell out of here then.”
“You in a hurry, big brother?” I taunted. I knew exactly where he wanted to be. He’d hinted at it enough times over the past twelve hours. It was Payton this and Payton that. No matter how much I loved that girl, I was over hearing her name.
“Yeah, Beau. What’s the rush?”
“Anyone ever tell you that you two are assholes?”
Connor and I looked at each other before we turned back to Beau, who was climbing into the driver’s seat. “Yep!”
“Come on. I’m sure we can scrounge up some breakfast.”
“Payton’s scrolls?” Connor asked hopefully. I couldn’t blame him. Payton’s cinnamon scrolls were an out of this world experience. One I maybe drove the twenty minutes into town twice a week to indulge in.
“Maybe. I’m not sure what she’ll have. But if you get your stinking asses in the damn car we can go find out.”
“Ooooh. Someone’s cranky.”
While teasing Beau was fun, eating sounded better. Jumping in, we were off towards the main street. Holy crap! There were cars everywhere. It was not quite mid-day and the whole street was packed. I recognised most of the cars. Seems like everyone had come out today, which meant I’d have to talk to people. Deal with them. Pretend to be nice. Smile. I didn’t want to. I wanted to get in, get my food, and get out. As panic flooded me, I began to question if Payton’s scrolls were worth the effort. One look at the stupidly happy look on Beau’s face and I knew they were. I’d just have to suck it up. And if I was lucky, I might get to see that sexy ass friend of hers. After all, I had something pretty special to return to her. It was more than that, though. I had questions I was dying to get answers to. Questions that could change everything.
With my luck being the way it was—absolutely shithouse—I shouldn’t have been surprised that the moment I pushed open the door and hopped out, I could hear screaming. It was pretty full on. Whoever it was, they were going off like a cat that’d been stuck under the cold-water tap. Some of the language that was drifting onto the street would have made even the crudest sailor blush.
“How fucking dare you! Get your filthy hands off me, you stinking pig!”
“What the hell…”
Before Beau had a chance to finish, the bells jingled and the door to Payton’s bakery was flung open.
“Shut up!”
There was Derek with some woman tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She wasn’t taking it lying down, either. She was thumping her ineffective fists into the centre of his back, and wriggling about. She was actually pretty lucky he didn’t drop her denim-clad ass on the footpath with the way she was squirming. I probably would have. And if she dared to call me half the things she was calling Derek, I’d have done it deliberately.
“Enough!” Derek boomed again as he set her down on her feet.
It wasn’t until she turned around I recognised her.
“Fuck it!” Beau grumbled beside me as he ran a hand through his messy hair.
I didn’t have to say anything. I couldn’t find the words. That embarrassment was my mother. How the hell was I supposed to deal with this? More importantly though, why should I have to? She was my mother, not my child. She was an adult. She could deal with her own shit.
Derek spotted us and shook his head sadly. I hated the look on his face. Fucking pity. There was nothing I despised more than people feeling sorry for me. There was no reason to. Standing stubbornly between our mum and the front door of the bakery, he had his hands on his hips. He wasn’t moving any time soon.
Guess I wasn’t getting my shower in the foreseeable future.
“What’s going on?” I asked as casually as I could. I stepped up the gutter and headed straight into the line of fire. When I felt a nudge at my shoulder, I knew Beau was right beside me.
“Beau. Gage,” Derek greeted us, looking miserable.
“What’s going on?”
“Beau, you should head inside and check on Payton,” Derek suggested, not really giving him the option.
“W-what’s wrong with Payton?” As he stumbled over his words, I watched as his whole body went rigid.
Derek’s gaze dropped from where Mum stood, looking slightly sheepish. I didn’t need the details. The look on Mum’s face said it all. She’d done what she always did. Said the wrong thing. Been a bitch. “She’s just a bit upset, that’s all.”
I don’t think he even took a breath.
Beau was just gone. A moment later the bakery door banged closed. Payton was fine now. Or if she wasn’t, she would be in a second. Beau was a stubborn ass and wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Are you all right out here, Gage? I want to get back and check on Mia.”
“Yeah. Thanks for everything, Derek.” I shook his hand and watched as he followed Beau inside, leaving me alone on the street with Mum.
Out of nowhere I was suddenly exhausted. Like too exhausted to stand on my own two feet. Leaning back against the wire fence, I sank to the ground and sat there, staring at a twig near my feet. I didn’t even look up when I felt her reach for my shoulder offering it a reassuring squeeze.
After a long quiet moment, I heard Mum mumbling something incoherently.
“Sorry?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be a bitch!” The harshness in my tone surprised even me.
“H-how do you know I was a bitch?”
“Are you saying you weren’t?”
“No.”
“Going to tell me what happened?”
“Yo-your dad. He makes me crazy.”
“What’s Dad got to do with anything?”
I felt bad, but I couldn’t let it show. She’d take advantage of the situation again. It was her way of avoiding everything. Push the blame on someone else. If she could convince herself that it was their fault and not hers, then everything was okay. At least in her own head, anyway.
“He’s inside.”
“I know. We sent him here with the girls.”
“Oh, he was with the girls, all right. Especially the hussy with the underwear as clothes!” The bitterness was obvious as she snorted. “She was all over him.”
“I’m sure she wasn’t.” I didn’t know who she was referring to, but I didn’t need to. It didn’t matter.
“I saw her with my own two eyes! Don’t tell me I’m wrong, Gage!”
Wow! She really was in a pissy mood today. Sadly, I was too tired to tolerate it for long. “You’re jealous.” It was so obvious.
“No!”
“You are. You’re jealous someone was with Dad. Mum, you didn’t want him. Remember? You’re the one that left. You took off with some other guy. You don’t get to be jealous if he’s moved on with his life. You did.”
Fuck, telling the truth was draining.
I must have said something right, though. Mum stoppe
d arguing and started sobbing. At first it was soft, silent sobs, although it didn’t take too long before they racked her body. Seeing her this broken and in this much pain wasn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. Watching her like this broke my heart. We sat there for a while, my arm around her shoulders while she cried against me. Eventually it eased and I was able to pull her to her feet and lead her towards her car.
“Let’s go home.”
“D-don’t you want to go inside first?” she sniffed, wiping her nose.
“It’s fine. I’ll catch up with them later. I’m tired and I want a shower.”
“Oh okay.” The fight had gone out of her. Climbing inside, she slumped in her seat, closed her eyes, and sucked in some deep breaths. The rest of the ride home was thoughtfully silent.
After a shower and some breakfast, I felt almost human again. Even though I’d washed my hair twice, I could still smell smoke. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe it was just in the air. Flopping down on the couch, I laid back and closed my eyes. As soon as Mum was done in the bathroom, we’d talk. Figure some shit out. We couldn’t go on like this. At this rate, I’d be the only person in the family talking to her. I couldn’t deal with that kind of pressure. Something had to give. She had to ease up.
Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, I sat up and felt the pain in my back. Shit! I’d fallen asleep on the couch…no wonder I was aching. Glancing out the window, the sun was already fading. I’d slept the day away. What’s worse was, I didn’t feel any better for it. I was still completely knackered. After a good, long stretch, I found my feet.
“Shit, Mum! You scared me.” She was sitting quietly in the corner sipping from a glass. Completely silent in the fading light, I hadn’t even seen her there. Truthfully, I’d completely forgotten she lived here in my tired, delirious state.
“Sorry, sweetie.”
Suddenly I was wide awake.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
I couldn’t remember the last time Mum had actually acted like a mother. The ‘sweetie’ put me on edge. Grabbing a glass from the sink, I filled it with water straight from the tap and swallowed it down in one long gulp. After refilling it, I slumped into the chair opposite Mum and looked at her.
Picturing Perfect (Meet the McIntyres Book 2) Page 19
