She didn’t even look like the woman I’d come to know in the past few weeks. Her face was scrubbed clean of the makeup she usually packed on, and her hair was pulled back in some kinda of messy top knot. She looked almost, well, normal. It was kinda disturbing.
“What’s going on?” I tried to ask casually, but inside I was freaking out. My stomach was turning and my heart racing. Waiting for the bad news wasn’t much fun. I hoped she wouldn’t stuff around, and instead just put me out of my misery.
“I’m leaving.”
The way she said it was so calm. So final. And so emotionless. This woman sitting beside me was not the same one who, only hours before had been carried kicking and screaming out of the bakery.
“What?”
“I’m leaving.”
“When?”
“Now pretty much. I packed everything while you were asleep.”
How did I not hear this? I must have been really out of it. Pushing that aside, I tried to focus. “Where are you going?”
“Shepparton.”
“That’s hours away.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“Why there?”
“I’ve got a job there. And a friend I can stay with.”
“Huh. What’s his name?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth I found myself wishing I could take them back. They were hurtful, and the look on Mum’s face showed the sting my stupid thoughtlessness had caused. It was official. I was an asshole.
“Do you remember Maggie?”
Maggie? The name was familiar, but I couldn’t place it. When I was living at home before I’d taken off for Uni, I tried to avoid Mum’s friends as much as possible. They were all so fake. And quite frankly, the way some of them looked at me like I was a hunk of fresh meat was more than a little scary.
“She used to stay with us.”
“The cleaner?”
“Yes.”
Holy shit! How far the mighty have fallen. Mum went from having it all, the farm, Dad, a family who loved her, the best clothes money could buy, and Dad putting her on a pedestal to crashing on the cleaner’s couch. If it wasn’t so damn funny it would be truly sad.
“Why?”
“I need to get out of here, Gage. I hate the person I’ve become. I need to make some changes. Some of the things I’ve said, some of the things I’ve done…I can’t…I can’t believe that was even me. I don’t even know if Beau will ever talk to me again. And I don’t blame him if he doesn’t. I deserve it.”
Abandoning my chair, I was next to her, squatting down with my hands on her knees. Her eyes were filled with tears and I was afraid she was going to cry. Again. I hated tears. Why the hell women cried so much I’d never know. If I could solve that riddle I’d be a millionaire. Especially if I could figure out a way to make it stop. “He will. Just give him some time.”
“I hope so.”
“He will.”
A stray tear escaped down her cheek and she swatted it away as quickly as it appeared. “Well,” she sighed with a deep breath, “I should be heading off. I just wanted to wait ’til you woke up so I could tell you.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I couldn’t understand why this hurt so much. I was an adult. It wasn’t even like I lived at home, but for some reason saying goodbye to my mum was making me feel like a kid again.
I rocked back on my heels and gave her room to stand. After a quick look around, she scooped up her handbag and flung it over her shoulder. “I guess that’s it.”
Finding my feet, I followed her out the door. Her car was full of crap. There was barely enough room on the passenger seat for her bag, but she didn’t seemed fazed. It took a moment, but once I managed to pull my head out of my ass and look past the sadness of the situation, I realised that this was probably a good thing. Mum was just like how I’d been when I’d left for Uni. She was looking for something. Looking for herself. She might have led a pretty charmed life up until this point, but right now she had no idea who she was or where she belonged. I hoped no matter where she went, she found it. Found that something that made her happy again. That’s all I wanted for her. And I knew, in time, the others would too. Once the rawness of the pain dulled.
“It’s getting late. Should you stay tonight and go in the morning?”
“No, sweetheart. I need to go now. I’ve booked a hotel a couple of hours from here. I’ll be fine.”
“Oh. Okay then. I guess you should get on the road then.”
Mum leant down and stuffed the keys in the ignition. The radio cackled to life, some sad slow song murmuring into the early evening. Around us birds chirped nosily while I heard a cow moo in the distance. Mum stepped into my arms and wrapped her skinny arms around my waist. Resting my chin on her head, I held her tight. For some reason this felt like a real goodbye. I didn’t understand it.
“I love you, Gage.”
“Love you too, Mum.”
Kissing her hair softly, I unwrapped my arms and took a step back. With one last look, she sunk behind the wheel, adjusted her seatbelt, and took hold of the steering wheel. “Be good, Gage.”
“Always am.” I couldn’t help but to be a smart ass. It’s who I was. “Let me know when you get there.”
“I will.”
“Drive safe.”
“Love you, Gage.” With that she blew me a kiss, put the car in drive, and headed down the driveway and out of my life.
I didn’t know when I’d see her again. I knew I would at some point. She was my mother, after all. And she wasn’t a bad mother. Not really. Somewhere along the way she’d gotten so lost she couldn’t find herself. All I could do now was wish her the best and hope one day she’d figure it out and come home again.
Standing there with my hands on my hips, I watched until she was out of sight. I didn’t realise I was crying until the salty tear touched my dry, cracked lips. Once she was out of sight, I headed back inside, changed into my running gear, and took off for the creek. I knew if I sat down now, I’d be asleep in minutes. It was way too early for that. I’d go for a run first.
***
It was nearing midnight and I was still lying here wide awake. I should have been tired. Physically I was exhausted. The issue was I couldn’t turn my damn brain off. I’d run twice as far as I usually did. I ran until my lungs were burning and my legs felt like jelly beneath me. When I’d eventually stumbled home, I’d checked in with Beau.
He was still livid. It was like he hadn’t yet paused to take a breath. Even after I’d explained Mum had left for a while and I wasn’t even sure if she was coming back, he still didn’t calm down. I mean, I understood why he was so angry. Some of the things Mum had said to Payton were frankly down right disgusting. Whether she liked it or not, Payton was one of us now. She was Beau’s wife, and from the way he looked at her, like she was a Princess who could walk on water, she would be for a very long time. It wasn’t Mum’s decision on whether or not she was around. She was a McIntyre.
What really got to me though was when I spoke to Holly. Some of the hurtful and horrible words Mum had tossed in her direction had me very glad Mum had already gone before I found out. It was one thing to call your daughter-in-law a gold digging whore, but when you turn on your own daughter and tell her that she’s nothing more than an ugly, unlovable disappointment, you just needed slapping. There wasn’t an excuse in the world for that. I’m amazed Holly managed to restrain herself, actually. That girl had more will power than her brothers. I didn’t have to check with the others to know if we’d witnessed that outburst, Mum wouldn’t be in the shape she was right now. We may not physically hit her, but she’d be shredded.
Lying down on the floor, I stretched my arms out above my head. My wrist was still aching. My shoulders were tight and there was something weird going on with my stomach. Clicking on the TV above my head, I watched a bit of the news, trying to figure out if I was needed tomorrow. Hopefully I wasn’t. I didn’t have the energy to drag my sorry ass up from the floor right now.
It didn’t take long before the update came on. Thankfully no houses were lost to today’s fire and it seemed, at least for now, they had the blaze under control. Hundreds of acres of land was scorched and crops decimated. Animals were homeless and a few sheds hadn’t survived, but thankfully everyone had. No one was homeless and no lives lost. All in all, it was a good day. The worst was a couple of people had been hospitalized for smoke inhalation and one fireman had a broken leg, but that was it.
My phone beeped and I considered ignoring it. Briefly. With everything going on I knew better.
Work.
Dammit! I should have stayed on the floor. But I was up now.
“Hey,” I said unenthusiastically as Alice answered.
“Hey Gage. Sorry to call and bug you so late.”
“It’s fine, Alice. What’s up?” I was being short with her and she didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t her fault I was needed. In reality, I wasn’t surprised. I think if I admitted it, in the back of my mind I’d been waiting to see how long it took before I was summoned.
“Can you come in and give us a hand for a couple of hours? This fire’s caused chaos.”
I didn’t want to.
My wrist was still throbbing and I knew I wasn’t going to be entirely helpful. Even if I ended up just watching from the sidelines or nursing a homeless koala. I couldn’t say no though. I never could. Not when someone needed help. Especially when Alice was the one asking.
I wasn’t a selfish asshole though. At least not today.
“I’ll be there in twenty.”
“You’re a gem, Gage!”
“Yeah, yeah. There better be coffee.”
“I’ll make sure there is. See you soon.”
And like that my restful evening was over. But this was what I’d studied for. This is the reason I’d endured all those boring nights poring over textbooks rather than out partying and getting laid. After splashing some water on my face, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt and headed in. Even though I had no idea what was going to be waiting for me when I arrived, I knew it was going to be another long night.
***
The place was chaos. Absolute bloody bedlam. I shouldn’t have been surprised. There were terrified cats, dehydrated dogs, and a few horses around which had gone into premature labour. It was all hands on deck.
It was just after two in the morning when I finally found a moment to have a break. After a quick visit to the bathroom, I washed my face and hands, trying to clean off the grime. Some days it felt as though no matter how many times I scrubbed them, they weren’t coming clean. My jeans were caked in crap, and there was some kind of goo on my shirt that I actually preferred to remain oblivious to what it actually was. Ignorance was bliss some days.
“Here. Thought you could use this.” Alice smiled as she slid a plate in front of me piled high with toasted ham, cheese, and tomato sandwiches. The smell of melted cheese made my stomach grumble. I didn’t think I was hungry. Now though, now food was in front of me, I was suddenly ravenous.
I don’t know how many hours went past, but when I looked up again the sun was shining through the windows, blinding me. I’d caught possibly an hour’s sleep, although I doubted it was even that long. And it wasn’t good quality, refreshing and recharging sleep, either. It was hunkered over my desk, leaving a pile of drool on the paperwork and getting a crick in my neck type of rest.
When Alice woke me it took longer than it should have for me to figure out where I was. I was almost damn delirious.
“Morning, sunshine.” She looked awfully good for someone who’d been going all night.
“Morning,” I grumbled.
Even though I was tired and miserable, Alice didn’t need to deal with my cranky ass. She deserved better than that.
“Are you free to look at Mr. Sullivan’s cat, Missy?”
“He has a cat?”
Now I was wide awake and genuinely stunned. Sullivan was a grumpy old ass who had no time for the world. I don’t think I’d ever seen him smile or heard him say a single nice word to anyone. He was the sort of guy who, if he was going to have a pet, it would be something like a goldfish or maybe even a python. Something cold and emotionless. I struggled to picture him curled on the couch petting a pussy at night.
“Yeah. It’s his daughter’s.”
“Katie’s?”
“Yes, Gage. It’s Katie’s cat. Is there something I should know about you and Katie? I can go try and find Logan, see if he’s busy. He might be able to swap…”
“No!” My voice boomed through the almost deserted office space. Even the piles of abandoned papers and hastily slung aside boxes didn’t muffle the noise. “I got this.”
“Are you…sure?” Alice asked nervously.
Straightening my back, I ran a hand through my hair and wiped my face. “Absolutely.”
***
“Alice! I’m heading out. I’m done for the day.” I’d had enough. I couldn’t take a minute more. On top of being tired, hungry, and aching, I’d had all the bad news I could take. I needed to get out of there before I exploded and poor, innocent Alice took the brunt of my frustrations.
“Oh, okay. How did Missy go?”
Turning to Alice, I saw the heavy black bags beneath her eyes, the way her hair wasn’t quite in place, and the pink lipstick on her teeth. She looked as exhausted as I felt. The difference was she was just dealing with it. Not bitching and moaning, she was just getting on with it.
“Not good. Old thing looks like she’s got some kind of lump in her abdomen. Not sure what it is yet. Sullivan said he didn’t want to operate. Just keep her comfortable. They’ll need to come back in a couple of days for some scans. See what we’re dealing with.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, shitty all around.”
“I’ll book them in again then later in the week. Are they seeing you or did you want me to see if I can fit them in with Logan?”
There was a loaded question if ever I’d heard one. She was giving me an out. The perfect excuse to walk away and not have to deal with it. I couldn’t do it, though. I wasn’t a coward. I’d see this through…again. I’d just make sure this didn’t keep happening. I couldn’t keep being the bastard who stood by and watched Katie’s animals die. Deep down I knew it wasn’t all my fault that bad shit kept happening, but after the cow debacle, watching as her heart shattered as Sullivan told her they hadn’t made it, it was enough to turn even the toughest guy to mush. And I, unfortunately, was no exception.
“I’ll do it.”
“Okay then,” Alice agreed with a smirk. Bitch knew I wouldn’t walk away. Damn, I hated being predictable.
“But next time they call or come in, find someone else. Anybody else. Please, Alice, no more.”
“Okay, Gage.”
Alice shuffled away, leaving me standing there twirling my keys around my finger. With a heavy sigh, I bolted out the front door before someone called me back. I needed a break. And coffee. And not just any coffee either. Good coffee. Not that instant powder shit. Jumping in the truck, I took off headed for Payton’s. It was late in the morning, and with every passing minute, I found myself praying my favourite sister-in-law had a few of those delicious scrolls left. I was craving big time.
Pulling up to the bakery, I was surprised to find it empty. Thankful, but surprised.
“Be there in a second!” a high pitched, sing-song voice called out from somewhere in the back. I didn’t have to see her to know that voice belonged to Payton. I may not have known her for very long, but I knew well enough that when Payton was in her happy place, there was bound to be ass shaking and singing happening.
Not bothering to wait, I walked around the corner and poured myself a cup.
“Gage Stewart McIntyre! What exactly do you think you’re doing?”
Spinning around too quickly, I splashed coffee on my hand, burning my fingers. Carefully placing the cup back on the counter, I licked the sticky liquid off and looked up. Damn, thi
s girl was adorable. It was no wonder Beau was so quick putting a ring on it. A ring that hung on the chain dangling between her boobs. Standing with her hands on her hips, her hair wild, her pink apron tied around her waist and biting her bottom lip, Payton looked as sweet as the goodies she baked.
“Payton…”
“Oh no! Don’t ‘Payton’ me in that tone. I know exactly what that means.” She was trying to be tough. The only issue was the stubbornness didn’t reach her eyes. They were giving everything away. I’d bet my car on it that inside that soft curvy body of hers, laughter was dying to explode.
“What?”
“Nup! Don’t even bother. You McIntyre boys are all the same.”
“Men, Payton. McIntyre men.”
“Fine. Men then.”
With her huffing and puffing in the corner, I figured I was already in trouble, might as well dig a little deeper. Crouching down, I snagged a napkin and stole the last scroll from the cabinet. I saw Payton’s eyes widen, but was surprised she remained silent. I couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or a bad one. In my experience, when a female fell silent, hell’s fury was about to be unleashed. Throw in the obligatory ‘fine,’ and if I had even half a brain, I should have been diving under the nearest table and waiting for the chaos to pass.
Shame I was brainless.
I was blaming the lack of sleep.
“So, did you just come in to drink my coffee and help yourself to my baked goods?”
“Pretty much.”
“Nice.”
“And see my favourite sister-in-law, obviously.”
“Obviously.” Payton rolled her eyes as she poured herself a glass of water before slumping into a booth.
Something wasn’t quite right with her. She looked exhausted. Stressed even. “Everything okay, Pay? Beau already stopped putting out? I mean, I heard that happens once you’re married. But hell! Even I thought you’d get more than a couple of days in the honeymoon phase.”
She offered me a half smile which was total bullshit. She didn’t mean it. It was all fake. Her eyes didn’t light up and her smile looked weird. Creepy even.
Picturing Perfect (Meet the McIntyres Book 2) Page 20
