Forever Red

by Carina Adams

  “Happy birthday, babe.” His eyes moved over me as he said the words, sending a creepy shiver down my spine. I glanced down, even though the sharp movement killed me, checking to make sure I was dressed properly. I still had on the Johnny Cash shirt I’d worn to the concert, but it was crooked. My jeans had been kicked off and in their place was a pair of boy short panties that were only visible on one side where I’d tucked my shirt into them. Because everyone tucks their tee into their panties. At least all the cool kids do.

  Satisfied that I was at least decent enough to have a conversation with the ex from hell, I looked back up. “My eyes are up here ass-hat,” I mumbled when I realized he was staring at Johnny’s face, which just happened to be where my girls were hanging foot-loose and fancy-free. Ben had the audacity to laugh and continue to stare for a few seconds more before he met my stare. “Why are you here?”

  The douche canoe actually had the balls to smile at me. “It’s your birthday. I promised we’d do something special on your thirtieth.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “So I have the entire day planned out.”

  If I’d felt even a fraction better than I did, I could have controlled my reaction and disguised the hatred in my voice. Unfortunately for him, the hangover from hell was just too much and I couldn’t deal with anything else. So I just let my natural reaction flow. My mouth dropped open in surprise and I gaped at him before I could piece a coherent thought together. “Listen, you trust-fund twat. My birthday is tomorrow. If you paid attention to anything I’d ever said, you’d know that.”

  The hard look I used to hate, the one that said I was acting too white trash and should be ashamed of myself, settled on his face. The face that I once told my friends would stop traffic. Hell, the face would still stop traffic. Or cause one helluva pileup. He was just that pretty.

  His looks hadn’t been the first thing I’d noticed about the giant ass clown, although they certainly didn’t discourage me. But no, I’d been drawn to his laugh. It was a great laugh, one that was contagious and made you want to smile along with him or be included in whatever joke he was telling. I’d been in the travel section of Barnes and Noble, skimming through the books, trying to decide what romantic destination I wanted to plan a trip to when I’d heard it. Like a moth to a flame, I’d gone to find the man that beautiful sound belonged to.

  I’d found Benjamin Jordan the third. Heaven forbid you leave off the last part of his title. It was extremely important to distinguish between them, don’t you know? Although, if I was Benjamin Jordan the first, or even Benjamin Jordan, Jr., I’d want to make sure people didn’t confuse me with the dipshit that was standing in front of me.

  “Cecelia!” he snapped angrily. “Watch your language.” And there it was. The ugly that his pretty face and perfectly toned body tried to conceal. Most people never saw the hideous parts of him. Unless you were me, and then that’s all you saw.

  I laughed, even though it hurt my very sore throat and sent stabbing pains through my head. “This has been such a lovely visit, but it’s time for you to go fuck off now.” I took a step back into my apartment. “Goodbye, Ben.” I started to close the door when he stuck his foot out, stopping the door, and his hand wrapped around my wrist.

  I inhaled sharply, instantly beyond pissed. He knew better than to put his hands on me. I’d made that perfectly clear the last time he’d done it. I had no problem giving him a repeat, even as lousy as I felt.

  “Ce?” Courtney came around the corner of the kitchen, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw we had company. “Everything okay?”

  Ben immediately released me and stepped back into the hall. He eyed my roommate, I’m sure not missing last night’s makeup smeared over her face or her tangled hair or the way she acted like every word she spoke caused her extreme physical pain. “Looks like you two had fun last night.”

  I couldn’t even bring myself to give him a rude response. Instead, I shut the door in his face and turned the lock before turning to my friend. “How in the hell did he get in?”

  “What in the hell did he want?” she asked at the same time.

  I didn’t have a chance to answer. Instead, I ran for the bathroom, thankfully making it just in time. In true amazing roommate fashion, Cort followed me, holding my hair and rubbing my back while my body expelled the toxins I’d consumed just a few hours ago. When it was over, she handed me a cold washcloth and sat on the edge of the tub.

  “Booze or Ben?” She didn’t say more, but I knew she was asking what had made me sick. I shook my head, truly not sure. The alcohol had been brutal on my empty stomach, but being near Ben in any capacity made me nervous. “Why was he here, CeCe?”

  It was a rhetorical question, but I felt the need to answer it. She was my roommate and needed to know she wasn’t going to come home and find our apartment trashed and me with a nasty split lip. Again. “My birthday.”

  She groaned and sank onto the floor so she could wrap her arms around me. “I wanted this weekend to be great for you. Instead, you’ve had the bad boy of country tell the world you broke him, and now the pretty boy pissweasel show up at our door. That’s not what I had planned when I said it would be full of men.”

  I smiled as I leaned back into her shoulder. “As long as you promise there won’t be any more, I think we’re good. Technically, my birthday isn’t until tomorrow, so maybe we can get away and not see anyone I know?”

  “Absolutely!” She stood up and then reached a hand down to pull me up. “You take a shower, and I’ll start some coffee.”

  A shower did sound delicious so I nodded. Before she left, she grabbed me some migraine pills, filled the bathroom glass with cold water, and started my shower. God bless her. It took me three attempts, but I got the pills down and then pulled my clothes off, stepping into the shower. At first, the spray was too painful on my skin, but then it became relaxing and I just stood under the warm water, staring at the tiled wall. This day had to get better, because it sure as hell couldn’t get any worse.

  I don’t know how long I’d been in there when I heard the door open. The great thing about living with other girls is that you can leave the door unlocked while you shower and if they have to pee, they come in, do their business, and then leave without trying to peek. And they never flushed.

  “I only peed,” Nina assured me through the curtain. “Can you flush when you’re done?”

  “Absolutely,” I assured her. The door closed behind her and I started working through the knots in my hair so I could shampoo it.

  The door opened again, and a few seconds later, Cort stuck her hands in the shower, washing them so she didn’t draw water into the sink. I loved that woman. Then she was gone. I was halfway through conditioning my hair when the door opened again.

  A few minutes later, as I rinsed my hair and the lathered soap from my body, I realized I hadn’t heard anyone leave. It had to be Cort because the other two weren’t used to living with me and would never do more than pee with me in the shower. I turned around in the water, knowing I couldn’t leave until she was done. “I was going to masturbate,” I told her jokingly, “but I can’t do that with you in here.”

  “Why in the hell not?” came Nate Kelly’s reply. “I’ll sit here quietly and listen.”

  I pulled the curtain open angrily, not caring that I was naked or that water started to go everywhere. “What are you doing here?”

  His slow, sexy smile – the one that I remembered all too well – transformed his face as he looked at me. I had to give him credit, though; his eyes never once left my face. Always the gentleman, he knew when he could look at a woman and when he should politely ignore the fact that one was naked, wet, and obviously cold right in front of him.

  “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

  I groaned, annoyed. My stomach was still churning, my head – while marginally better than it had been – was still pounding, and I just didn’t have it in me to deal with one more annoying thing right now. Especially when that anno
ying thing was Neil. Damn it! Nate. I turned in the shower, shutting off the water and when I stepped out of the tub, Mr. Kelly handed me a towel. My favorite towel, the soft and fluffy one that I always hoped was clean so I could use it.

  I didn’t even bother to wipe off, wrapping the cotton around me instead. Placing a hand on my hip, I faced him once again. This was my chance to apologize. To air all of my dirty laundry and ask for forgiveness. It was the perfect opportunity.

  I opened my mouth to tell him how sorry I was, but the look on his face had me snapping it shut again. There was a longing in his eyes that I hadn’t seen in years. The bathroom was filled with steam, but that wasn’t the reason my breath was quick and shallow and my heart was beating a mile a minute.

  When he reached out, grabbing the edges of the towel and pulling me into the gap between his legs, I should have been surprised. Or I should have resisted. Instead, I stood there like an idiot, staring into blue eyes with green flecks that I hadn’t realized I missed until that very moment. “I didn’t get to say goodbye,” he repeated slowly.

  I stared down at him, hypnotized. This man, with more ink visible than bare skin and a piercing under the middle of his lip, was a stranger. I didn’t know him anymore. Yet, everything about him was familiar. My hand moved on its own, cupping a scruffy cheek. “I missed you.”

  His sharp intake of breath, as if what I said had hurt him, made me regret it instantly and I looked away, studying the rack of towels. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn’t make myself look back. It had been too long. I should have told him years ago.

  “Red?” His voice was low, gravely. “I missed you, too.”

  With all the finesse and perfect timing that she’s known for, Cora burst through the door, slamming it behind her. With wild eyes, she looked from me to Nate and then back to me. “I sleep in for an hour, one hour”—she held up a single finger—“and all hell breaks loose? Do you realize that there is a young man, an actual kid, out there?” She turned the finger she was holding up toward the door, stepping further into the room and dropping her voice.

  “Do you know how I woke up?” Her eyes were wide, her hands moving animatedly. “That kid? He was next to me on the bed. Playing with my hair!” she whisper-shouted. “I’m old enough to be his mother!”

  I slid my eyes to Nate; he was watching my best friend with an amused expression, his mouth twitching as if he was fighting a smile. I didn’t know who he’d brought with him, but whoever it was obviously wasn’t shy. I turned back to Cora, but before I could say anything, the door flew open again.

  “Ugh. Sorry to interrupt whatever it is the two of you are doing”—Nina smirked at me—“but you do realize you are in the only bathroom, right? After a night of drinking?” When we didn’t move fast enough, she crossed her legs and hopped up and down. “Dude, I’ve gotta go!”

  That did make Nate laugh. He let go of my towel and stood up, sliding against me as he did. I stepped back a little too quickly as if the idea of his body touching mine was appalling when, in reality, it was anything but. His hand found the small of my back and he kept it there until we were in the living room.

  Cort and Cora were watching us closely and Noah seemed suddenly too interested in the fact that I was barely covered. “I’ll go get dressed,” I told the room as a whole.

  I’d taken two steps toward my room when a large hand captured my upper arm, halting me in my tracks. Nate moved his body in behind me, not touching, but so close I could feel his heat. Leaning close to my ear so that only I could hear his words, he whispered, “This conversation isn’t over, Lia. Not by a long shot.”

  I wasn’t sure what conversation he meant, but there was no way we were continuing it. I’d get dressed, come out of my room and be civil, apologize for being an asshole, and then Nate Kelly would be out of my life for good. I’d have the closure I had needed for years. That was a good thing. But the idea made me sad.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  ~ Nathaniel ~

  “Hey, bro,” Noah walked toward me, breaking the awkward silence that had engulfed the room after Lia rushed out. “This is Courtney”—he gestured to the tall brunette that had let us into the apartment—“Lia’s roomie.”

  I nodded in her direction, moving my eyes back to the door that Lia had just disappeared through. I heard Lia’s friends whispering to each other, but I was too distracted to listen. Noah spoke to them, and even his words were a murmured jumble. I wasn’t sure what in the hell had just happened in that bathroom, or even how I felt about her, but I knew I needed just fifteen uninterrupted minutes alone with Red.

  “Nate?” Noah’s fingers snapped in my face. “Earth to Nate.”

  I jerked back, eyes focusing on his face. “What?” I snapped, irritated.

  The little puke only grinned. “These ladies”—he moved his eyes to them quickly before looking back at me—“have decided to come with us.”

  “What?” I asked again, this time more confused than anything. I hadn’t even asked Lia yet so I wasn’t sure how they knew what I wanted.

  Courtney cleared her throat. “I feel like I should be fangirling right now.”

  I only lifted an eyebrow at her dull, unexcited tone.

  She took a deep breath. “Nate Kelly – the Nate Kelly – is standing in my living room. But”—she shook her head once and I wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic—“I’m just too fucking worn out so I’m gonna give it to you straight.”

  She paused, running her tongue along her lips. “Your boy says you want us to come to your concert. I told him that we were taking CeCe away for a couple of nights, but he insists that you have a ginormous house and that we can crash there for the rest of the weekend.” She stared into my eyes. “It’s her big birthday and we need to get her out of here, especially after this morning. So that’s the only reason we’d even consider it.” Courtney paused for a second, glancing at the short one. “Well, that and we think it’s pretty obvious that you two have some shit to work through. So we”—she moved her hand in front of the three of them—“have decided to come.”

  I looked over each woman closely. I’d been here maybe twenty minutes and hadn’t said more than a few short sentences to them. No way in hell it was that easy. Either Noah had said something pretty damn convincing or they were fame hungry and I’d wake up tomorrow with my face plastered all over social media, along with an unflattering story for the world to buy. It had happened before.

  Fuck it. If it gave me time with Lia, I’d take whatever fallout came. It was worth it to get the answers I needed. Something felt off, though.

  I glared at Courtney. “Just like that?”

  The blonde that had walked in on Lia and me crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me as if I disgusted her. “No, not just like that.” Her voice was hard and there was no mistaking the dislike she held for me, even though she was whispering. “I’ve heard stories about Neil Kelly for years. So many that I feel like I know him. CeCe told us what really happened and who you are. But don’t think for one second that this is your chance to get even with her.” Her eyes lit up dangerously. “You fuck with her, we’ll destroy you.”

  If she hadn’t looked so goddamn serious, I would have laughed. The idea was hilarious. What were they going to do – beat me up? Sell my picture to the highest bidder? Have Lia wreck my heart and leave me? Been there, done that, decided not to buy the tee shirt ‘cause it wasn’t as fun as it should have been.

  She was dead serious. She reminded me of a mother hen with her feathers all ruffled, ready to peck the eyes out of the fox in her hen house. How wrong she was; I wasn’t the fox. Oh, no. I was the mother fucking big bad wolf.

  Before I could say anything, Noah snorted, standing up a little straighter and crossing his arms over his chest, mimicking her stance. “He isn’t going to fuck with her,” he shot back, defending me. Then he smirked. “He might fuck her—”

  Blondie growled – actually growled – cutting him off.

 
; Leave it to my kid brother not to leave well enough alone. “And if he doesn’t want to, I’ll volunteer.”

  The short one burst out laughing, making Courtney and I groan; me in frustration, her in obvious disgust. I pinned him with my eyes, letting him know that if he even thought about it again, I’d kick his ass into next week. No one was touching her. The idiot grinned again as if saying that he was going to do a hell of a lot more than think about getting Lia in his bed. I wanted to knock his teeth down his throat.

  I closed my eyes, forcing my hand to uncurl, fighting the urge to beat on my brother. Then, something that Courtney had said hit me. “What happened this morning?” I demanded, as soon as the homicidal urge was gone.

  “Huh?” This time it was the blonde’s turn to look confused.

  “You said that Lia needed to get away after something happened this morning. So what happened?”

  Three faces went blank, all of them avoiding my eyes, giving each other knowing looks as they had a silent conversation. Whatever it was, they felt it was important enough to get Lia out of town. My imagination ran wild; she didn’t seem like a criminal, but I really didn’t know anything about her anymore.

  Hell, I didn’t even know what she did for work. I glanced around the apartment quickly, hoping maybe some clue would pop out. It was decent but extremely tiny. There was one large room that held both the kitchen and the living room, if you could even call it large. There were three doors off that room; one I knew led to the tiny bathroom, so that must mean the other two were bedrooms. It was a hell of a lot better than the trailer she’d grown up in, but everything about this space from the stained couch to the decade-old television told me that she struggled financially.

  It shouldn’t have bothered me. Her finances were not my concern; hell, her life and how she lived it was none of my business. But it pissed me off.

  I moved away from her friends and strode to her door. She’d had enough time to throw clothes on and it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen it before if she hadn’t. I wasn’t surprised when the handle turned in my hand; there was a lot about this woman I didn’t know, but some things, like her hatred of locked doors, I knew would never change. Unlike Lia, I liked my privacy, and I flipped the lock as soon as I closed the door behind me.