Bad Teacher

by Clarissa Wild

  ***

  Now

  “Oh, my god …” Hailey murmurs as I tell my story. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I don’t know what to say either except for the fact that I don’t talk about this easily.”

  She swallows. “I’m sorry. About your wife … and that you have to tell me like this.”

  I smile at her. “It’s okay. I guess it had to come out sooner or later. This time, it was too late. I should’ve told you sooner, considering what happened.”

  I rub my hands together and touch my finger where my ring used to be. I threw it in the casket when I buried her, but the mark is still on my finger.

  “I was married. And then, I suddenly wasn’t. And it broke me. It broke me into a million pieces, which I slowly glued back together over time, but they never became whole again. And now you know why I never tried to get past the flirting phase ever again.”

  “That’s why you were … pushing me away,” she says tentatively.

  “Yes. I kept ignoring my growing feelings, thinking they were wrong. I kept pushing away the fact that my wife died. But now, I realize that wasn’t the right way to deal with it at all.” I sigh. “After all, I’m still here, alive, breathing. She’d want me to move on.”

  She smiles gently. “She’d want you to find someone to love again.”

  “Exactly,” I say, nodding. “And I found it in you.”

  ***

  Hailey

  I rub my lips together to try to understand, but it’s coming slowly.

  He didn’t want to commit because he was afraid he’d hurt me. Because he was afraid to lose me too.

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s sad, I know. Pathetic, how I handled life after what happened to her.”

  “No,” I say, grabbing his hand. “I get it now. It’s not pathetic.”

  “Really? When I made the one girl I truly cared about think I was cheating on her? Yeah, that’s pathetic.”

  “But you weren’t …” I say. “I just saw you two together.”

  “And you put two and two together,” he continues. “I know.” He looks me deeply in the eye. “But I promise you, Natalie and I are not fucking. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I wouldn’t even touch her with a ten-foot pole.” He shakes it off. “Like I’d ever want to date my sister-in-law. Nope. Not sexy. She’s also my boss, so that would only make it more awkward. Well, ex-boss.”

  “What?” I stammer . “Your boss? You mean to say she hired you to teach us?”

  “Yup. Look, I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but you have to believe me. This is the truth. She’s a friend. Albeit, one I didn’t want.” He chuckles. “When my wife died, everyone around me blamed me for her suicide, except Natalie. But she was mad … understandably. And even though part of her hated me for what had happened to her sister, she still tried to help me. Got me a job here at the college so I could move on. I got an apartment and tried to move past what happened. I drowned myself in work … and with alcohol and women. I was in a shitty place.”

  I swallow away the lump in my throat when I hear him say that.

  “Well, you know the rest.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, she only drove me to school that one time you saw her because my car was at the garage. And that time she wanted to talk to me was because I was messing up again. I have a history, you see …”

  “Of what? Chasing school girls?”

  “No … just, drinking … and maybe a lot of random sex.” He sniffs. “The point is, she was looking out for me. Granted, it was mostly done through scolding.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  “Because she didn’t want you to get hurt.” He looks up at me. “And because I’m not supposed to hook up with students.” He clears his throat. “When she found out about you, she fired me.”

  “Fired … you got fired?” I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel bad. Guilty. I knew it was gonna happen, but still, it’s tough to hear.

  He shrugs. “Yeah, but I don’t really care. Besides, it’s not like she could keep me on after finding out. I understand.” He smiles at me again. “It was worth it, though. I got to have you in my life, even if it was only for a little while.”

  He gets up and stares ahead. “You know, I once thought I was unlovable. That I should stay away from everyone because I could only hurt them. I didn’t want a relationship because I’d always end up hurting the people that I love. Turns out I was right.”

  When he tries to walk away, I grab his hand.

  He stops and glances at me over his shoulder. “I hurt you, Hailey. I know that. I wish I could turn back time, but I can’t. I made the wrong decisions. I put more value in keeping my job than keeping you, and it cost me both. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  I nod and rub my lips together. “I never wanted to lose you,” I say. “But when I saw you with her, I thought … I thought …”

  “That I was a cheating bastard.” He raises a brow. “Yeah, I know. And I had it coming. I should’ve told you about her before.” He cracks his knuckles. “But talking about my past is difficult for me. It makes me feel weak, and I don’t like feeling weak.”

  He leans in and caresses my cheek, then tips up my chin. “You also made me weak.”

  My brows furrow, but when I try to speak, he places a finger on my lips.

  “Weak from your love.”

  Love.

  That word.

  It’s all I wanted to hear but never got from him.

  He pulls me up from my seat with just the tip of his finger. “I know it’s too late to say this, as I’ve already ruined my chance, but I just wanted to say it to make you feel good again because you deserve it. Because it’s the truth. I love you, Hailey Walters. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  I freeze as he leans in and presses a delicate kiss on my cheeks, smiling after. He turns around and starts to walk away. I want to call out for him to stop, but then a door opens, and my mom steps out. I’m torn, but I know I can’t go after him and leave my mother here.

  So I stay, staring at him as he opens the door, goes down the steps, and disappears from my view.

  Blinking a tear away, I gaze at my mom and ask, “And? How did it go?”

  She smiles, tears welling up in her eyes. “They’re going to press charges, and I’m hoping he’s going behind bars for a long time.”

  “Really?”

  She nods, and I rush to her, hugging her gently as I don’t want to hurt her. Finally, justice has been served.

  “I’m sorry for all those years …” she mutters, but I shush her.

  “It’s okay, Mom. It’s finally over now.” I brush the tears from her face and peck her on the cheek. “Let’s go home, okay?”

  She nods as I grab her hand and walk out the door with my mother by my side.

  With the sun shining brightly, I breathe a sigh of relief and stare up at the sky.

  Each second we spend on this earth is another one we should cherish. I know that now.

  We shouldn’t get stuck in a place we don’t wanna be, or do things that go against our hopes and dreams. We should chase the things we love, and more importantly, never, ever look back.

  My life is falling into place at last. And I know exactly what I wanna do.

  Chapter 28

  Hailey

  A few days later

  “Are you sure about this? If you leave, there’s no going back,” Lesley says as she watches me pack.

  “Yes,” I say. “I’ve already filled out the forms. There is no going back.”

  “What about your mom? Is she okay with it?”

  “Yeah … now that my mom’s boyfriend is finally behind bars, she’s free to bug me with questions instead.” I chuckle. “But she says she’s happy as long as I am.”

  She smiles, but it’s followed by a sigh. “Well, I’m sure she’s proud of you, and so am I.” She hugs me awkwardly from behind, making me laugh.

  “Thanks,” I say. �
��But it’s really just because I suck at studying.”

  “True, but you could’ve fixed your grades easily,” she says. “There was still time.”

  “I don’t want more time here,” I say. “I want more time out there in the real world. This place isn’t for me. I’m not cut out for this—I know that now.”

  “It’s a bit of a waste of all those months you already did finish, though,” she says, fetching my clothes from the drawers for me and placing them on the bed next to my suitcase.

  “All the more reason to quit now.”

  “What are you gonna do next?” she asks.

  “I don’t know …” I say, smiling. “Maybe I’ll get a job somewhere in an ice-cream shop.”

  She grins. “They’d lose money over you because you’d be stuffing your face all the time.”

  “Shhh!” I nudge her with my elbow. “Don’t ruin the plan.”

  “You could always start up your own business, you know?” she muses. “You’d be able to eat all the ice cream you wanted.”

  “Hmm …” I mull it over a bit. “That’s not even a bad idea.”

  “What? Nah …”

  “Yeah. Why not?” I shrug.

  She laughs. “I didn’t really peg you as the type to go boss people around.”

  “No, but I know just the guy for it …”

  Her jaw drops. “Him?”

  “You never know?” I wink.

  “Oooh … so that’s why you’re quitting college.”

  I frown and drop my panties in the suitcase. “No, of course not.”

  “But he was fired too because he was seeing you,” she says. “He doesn’t blame you for that?”

  “No, he blames himself more than anything, actually.”

  “Strange.”

  “He and I just … talked it over.”

  “And?”

  I think about it for a second. “I think we can finally move on. It’s good.”

  “Hmm … well, as long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters.”

  “I am.” I look her way. “I mean it, I really am. And it’s been a long time since I was last able to say that.”

  “Yeah … when was it? Oh yeah, last time I saw you with that dildo.” She snorts, and I give her another shove with my elbow. “Speaking of … you almost forgot it.” She holds it out to me.

  “Where’d you get that? I was lookin’ for it.” I snatch it from her hand.

  “Under your bed. Where you always put it.” She raises her brow. “You’re gonna need it now that he’s … gone?”

  I grin. “I’ll see about that, but it’s none of your business.”

  She laughs. “Good. Keep it that way. I really don’t wanna know what my best friend and former teacher are doing. Yuck.” She sticks out her tongue.

  “But you’ll come visit me, right? Even if he could be there?”

  “Of course,” she says, putting her hands against her side. “Like you could survive without me.”

  I laugh. “True.”

  “That’s nothin’ but da tru tru.”

  I make a face and snort from her reference to a movie we once watched. I think it was Cloud Atlas. Not that it matters.

  “Wait, aren’t you forgetting something?” Lesley holds up a packet of cigarettes.

  For a moment, I’m tempted to grab them, but then I don’t. “Nah, keep them.”

  “You sure?” She frowns. “You’re quitting?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” I shrug it off and grab my suitcase, waltzing to the door.

  “So … I’ll see you around then?” she says, folding her arms.

  I turn around and drop my suitcase, opening my arms. “C’mere, bitch.”

  She runs into my arms and hugs me, and I slap her on the ass, laughing hard. “Make the boys go crazy for you, but be careful, okay? I’m not gonna have your back anymore, so you gotta have your own.”

  “Oh, I’ve had enough parties to last a lifetime now. I’m just gonna settle for studying for a while,” she muses, winking as we stop hugging.

  “Good. And I don’t wanna see you away from this campus unless it’s to visit me. You have to succeed.”

  “Of course. Someone’s gotta set the right example,” she jokes, and I roll my eyes.

  “Right, Les … bye!” I grab my suitcase and turn around.

  She slaps my ass so hard it makes me jolt. “Go get ‘em, bitch.”

  “Yeah, yeah! You’ll be hearing from me. Don’t worry. My name will be everywhere, just you wait.”

  “Good, I’ll check the newspaper every day.”

  “You’d better,” I shout as I walk through the hallway.

  “See ya!” she yells.

  “Love ya!”

  And as I take my final glance, I can’t help but brush my cheeks. Fucking stray tears messing with my epic escape from college.

  But I’m gonna miss that girl … no doubt about it.

  All the more reason to see her soon. And from the sound of her shouting, she’ll be checking up on me every day of the week, so I don’t think we’ll be separated for long.

  ***

  I’ve been staying at my mom’s house for a few days, at least, until I find my own place. She doesn’t mind because now she gets to squash me with love every five minutes. Plus, I’m paying rent now that I’ve finally gotten a proper job.

  Well, ‘job’ … I’m washing glasses and cleaning floors after closing time for a club near the campus. It’s not ideal, but it pays nice, and this way, I get to build up some experience in the field I wanna work in. It’s also very close to Lesley, which she finds very convenient. She keeps face-planting the window in the middle of the night to scare the living crap out of me, and it works every single damn time.

  Damn her.

  Not that I mind.

  I kinda like this newfound freedom. Going out into the world. Not giving a shit what anyone thinks. Just living my life.

  That, and lounging on the couch while scrolling through my Facebook timeline to see what everyone is up to, like I’m doing now. It’s nice to watch them do what they love. And to finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be too.

  Suddenly, my phone buzzes and a message pops up from a familiar guy.

  Thomas: How’s the free life going?

  Hailey: Good, very good, actually. How did you know?

  Thomas: I asked Lesley when you weren’t at your dorm room.

  Hailey: Stalker. :P

  Thomas: I never give up.

  Hailey: I know you don’t.

  Thomas: Unless you want me to, of course.

  I pause and think about it for a second, but all I can do is grin like a teenage girl.

  Hailey: Don’t ever stop.

  Thomas: Oh, I won’t. I’ll be here, lurking in the shadows, waiting until you’re ready. I know you needed a break. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I have to, even if it’s forever.

  I suck on my bottom lip and smile.

  Hailey: Creeper. :P

  Thomas: Sorry. I can get a bit overenthusiastic when it comes to the things I want to keep.

  Hailey: Keep? As if you ever had me.

  Thomas: Not yet … but I will. Someday. And you know, I think that day’s coming pretty soon.

  Hailey: Oh, really? When?

  Thomas: How about Saturday at eight? You know where.

  Hailey: Hmm … You mean that place you said you’d never visit again?

  Thomas: Just like that mistake I’d never make again.

  Hailey: You sure do like things wrong, don’t you?

  Thomas: Shaken, not stirred. You?

  Hailey: We’ll see …

  Thomas: Yes, we will.

  God, he’s such an arrogant prick.

  But I love him for it.

  I can honestly say I do.

  Well, not in a get-a-fucking-ring-and-stand-in-front-of-the-altar way, but just the part where I’d say I could give it a shot.

  Thomas: You know I’ll wait forever. Even if you don’t show up
. I’ll be there the next Saturday too. And the one after that. I’m an eternal party animal. #PartyHard

  Hailey: As long as the party is for two.

  Thomas: I don’t share. You know that.

  Hailey: I don’t either.

  Thomas: So fiery. … I like that. Just like your hair color.

  Hailey: Maybe I’ll dye it blue.

  It takes him a while to respond.

  Thomas: Blue … almost the hottest part of a flame. #Chemistry

  Hailey: You really don’t give up, do you?

  Thomas: Not when it comes to you. And you know why? Because the more time I spend away from you, the more I realize that I don’t want to be anywhere other than right next to you. In whatever way possible. Because nothing’s going to change the fact that I’m madly in love with you, Hailey Walters. So … would you go out on a real date with me?

  I’m smiling from ear to ear.

  Hailey: I thought you’d never ask …

  Epilogue

  Thomas

  As I walk through the club, I know exactly where to go.

  It’s familiar ground, and this isn’t my first rodeo.

  But it may be my last.

  When I spot her across the room, my heart practically bounces out of my chest. Crazy, huh? How within a few weeks, a man can go from his dick bursting out of his pants to this. A weak pile of mush at the sight of her.

  She’s just as beautiful as ever with her red bob, which now fades to blue at the bottom. But her physical appearance isn’t what attracts me the most. It’s her spirit. Her will to live and to defy everything and everyone around her.