A Child of Jarrow

by Janet MacLeod Trotter

‘No,’ Alexander protested, ‘he just fusses.’

  ‘Well, I won’t hear of you going anywhere until you’re quite better. Dr Lawson is just the man to take care of you. Henry’s valet will stay with you too.’

  ‘There’s no need,’ Alexander said. ‘Kate here can nurse me. She has a gentle touch.’

  Lady Emma looked at Kate with interest. ‘My singing maid,’ she smiled in recognition. ‘Very well.’

  Kate was astounded at the bold request and caught the look of disapproval on the housekeeper’s face. She did not want to be the cause of tongues wagging around the castle staff, however much she wanted to stay with Alexander. But the housekeeper made no protest and soon after Dr Lawson arrived and they were all sent out of the room.

  Complete bed rest was ordered and no more energetic trips on horseback. For the next few days Alexander slept for hours on end, often fretful in his sleep. Kate would steal in and watch him toss restlessly and cry out. At other times he lay pale and peaceful, his brow smoothed of worry like a small boy’s.

  On one occasion while he slept, she was drawn to the table in the window where pieces of paper spilt out of a leather folder. Making sure he still slept, Kate opened the folder and looked through the drawings. She was curious for some proof that Lady Ravensworth meant more to him than being a kind hostess and patron. But there were no more pictures of Lady Ravensworth. Instead there were dozens of drawings of ordinary people at work and rest. Kate gasped in shock. One of the sketches looked like her holding Alfred in her arms. But flicking quickly through the others, the same young woman appeared again and again in different poses and settings - places to which she had never been.

  Perhaps she was an artist’s model or his lover? With a stab of jealousy, she pushed the pictures quickly back into the folder. She should not have looked. Lady Ravensworth might not be the target for his affections, but some other woman clearly was.

  Kate tried to be more distant. After three days Alexander was taking an interest in the meals of liver and beer that she brought up for him to build up his strength. He would smile, thank her and try to engage her in conversation, but she would say little and withdraw quickly.

  The next day the calm was shattered by the unexpected arrival of Jeremiah Davies to see his son. Having heard Alexander had left Newcastle the week before, he guessed where he had gone.

  ‘You should have told me sooner that you were ill,’ Davies scolded. ‘Lady Ravensworth’s letter arrived yesterday. Were you ever going to tell me yourself?’

  ‘Don’t fret, Papa,’ Alexander replied. ‘I didn’t want you worrying.’

  ‘Of course I’m worried! We must get you home at once. You shall see our own physician.’

  ‘I’m perfectly well looked after here. Dr Lawson has called every day - and I have Kate here to tend me.’

  Davie: looked round and noticed the maid for the first time. ‘Are you a nurse?’ he demanded.

  ‘No, sir,’ Kate admitted.

  Davies turned back to Alexander. ‘I will arrange a proper nurse to care for you until you are quite fit again. And you shall go to see a specialist - in London if needs be. These attacks are getting worse.’

  ‘No, Papa, I’m staying here. Lady Ravensworth’s orders. Can’t be disobeyed.’ He sank back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

  Kate tried not to laugh at his cheeky defiance or Davies’s blustering. She could see that the elderly white-haired man was concerned for his son, yet angry not to get his own way. She imagined the plain-talking coal agent was not used to being thwarted by people saying no to him. But short of hauling Alexander down the stairs himself, there was little he could do.

  Davies cried, ‘Have it your own way! But I want you home as soon as you can travel. I can’t imagine why His Lordship allows you to spend so much time here,’ he added peevishly.

  He threw a disparaging look at Kate on his way out. She showed him to the door and curtsied. When he had gone she heard Alexander call her back.

  ‘Did I look suitably near death’s door?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, sir,’ she smirked.

  ‘Good,’ he smiled, closing his eyes again. ‘It could be days before I’m able to travel, don’t you think?’

  ‘Maybes weeks, sir,’ Kate agreed.

  As she closed the door to let him rest she heard him chuckling to himself.

  As if Davies’s visit had spurred him to defiance, Alexander was abruptly better again. Kate came in with breakfast one day to find him up and dressed. He took the tray from her.

  ‘Think I’ll eat this downstairs today,’ he told her.

  She nodded, suddenly disappointed. ‘You look much better, sir. Colour in your cheeks.’

  ‘I feel it. Thank you for looking after me. I’m sorry for causing such a fuss. It can’t have been very pleasant for you.’

  She had the impression he was embarrassed. Perhaps he regretted asking for her help and being seen in such a weakened state.

  ‘Was no bother, sir,’ she told him. ‘Shall I carry the tray for you?’

  ‘No, I can do that.’

  ‘Do you need anything else, sir?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ll attempt some fresh air later.’ He hesitated. ‘I hear the lake can look very beautiful in the evening.’

  She shot him a look. ‘Aye, sir, it can.’

  ‘Think I might take a stroll down there after dinner,’ he said, holding her gaze.

  Her heart lurched.

  ‘Then I might see you on me way home from Aunt Lizzie’s,’ she dared to say.

  ‘I’d like that,’ he smiled.

  Kate hurried out ahead of him, barely able to believe that they had made a tentative assignation for the evening. She could hardly wait, yet part of her told her not to be such a fool.

  Chapter 14

  When Kate strolled down the woodland path from the walled garden, Alexander was already waiting by the lakeside. The sky was streaked with dark purple clouds and a chill breeze stirred the water and rustled the reeds, making a sound like the sea.

  ‘You came!’ he said, relief on his face.

  Kate was surprised that he should have been worrying too. Her heart was pounding with excitement and nerves.

  ‘Let’s walk, Kate,’ he said, offering his arm. She slipped her arm through his, unable to speak, and they began to follow the path that skirted the lake. With the trees in full leaf and the grass high, they were hidden from view from the castle and any of the surrounding cottages. The lake was set apart and no one came here after dark, except to poach.

  ‘Tell me about yourself, Kate. I want to know all about you.’

  ‘Nothing to tell, sir. I’m just a lass like any other.’

  She had no intention of telling him what her life had been like in Jarrow. It was a different world and she would be ashamed for him to know of her past poverty or her life with her ignorant stepfather.

  ‘You’re not like any other,’ Alexander protested. ‘You are as charming and beautiful as this place.’

  ‘Sir!’Kate laughed.

  ‘And as mysterious.’

  ‘That makes two of us then.’

  ‘Me, Kate? I’m just a simple man of business.’

  ‘And a good horseman - and an artist.’

  He looked pleased. ‘Is that what they say about me in the servants’ hall?’

  ‘That’s what I’ve noticed. They say all sorts of nonsense among the staff.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘That you’re a fortune-seeker - and close to Her Ladyship.’

  Alexander flushed. ‘Then they are impudent!’

  ‘That’s not my belief, sir,’ Kate said hastily.

  He stopped and looked at her intently. There was something dangerous in that look. ‘But I am close to Lady Ravenswo
rth. She is a remarkable woman.’

  Kate felt uncomfortable. ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘Perhaps the gossips speak the truth. Maybe I am a seeker after fortune - the Liddell fortune. Why shouldn’t I be? Don’t I have a right to some of it? I’m a Liddell too!’

  He leant over her, eyes glittering with anger, and Kate felt fear.

  ‘It’s not for me to say, sir,’ she gulped. ‘But you don’t strike me as a man who sets any great store by wealth - or silly gossip.’

  For a moment they stared at each other. Alexander had a sudden desire to kiss her, but something held him back. He had ruined too many friendships by his impulsiveness and he did not want to spoil this moment with Kate. Deep inside he knew there was something special about this girl, something that he craved more than quick satisfaction. He stepped back and laughed.

  ‘You’re right, Kate. Let the gossips go to the Devil.’

  He took her arm and they walked on, Kate relieved that his anger had gone as quickly as it had come. She would keep castle tittle-tattle to herself in future. Instead she listened to him talk of his travels abroad and marvelled at the places he described: dark endless forests frozen in snow and dazzling stars over ice-bound seas. They had the magical ring of folk songs.

  ‘I once went to the Lake District with the Patersons - folk I worked for in Shields. Apart from that, this is as far as I’ve ever been,’ Kate mused.

  They stopped and gazed at the shadowed lake, the light almost gone.

  ‘You don’t need to go any further. This is as beautiful as anything in the world,’ Alexander murmured. ‘Sometimes it’s the things right under your nose that bring you the greatest happiness - but you have to go away before you can appreciate them.’

  ‘Yes,’ Kate whispered, thinking of her unhappy trip home in March and how it had made her love Ravensworth all the more. ‘I’d be sad to have to leave here.’

  He took her hand and pressed it lightly to his lips. ‘And I would be sad too.’

  Kate’s heart hammered. Could he really mean it?

  ‘You’re very kind.’

  ‘It’s the truth,’ he smiled. ‘You are my Florence Nightingale. You saved my life.’

  ‘Hardly that, sir!’

  ‘And you must stop calling me sir - at least when we are walking alone by the lake. In future you will call me Alex.’

  ‘Will there be another time, sir?’

  ‘I hope so, Kate. If you would like it?’

  ‘Oh yes, sir, I would.’

  ‘There you go again. My name is Alex,’ he laughed. ‘Next time, can I draw you sitting by the lakeside?’

  ‘What you want to do that for?’

  ‘Because you are my pretty wood nymph and I will have the excuse to gaze on you for as long as I like.’

  Kate spluttered with laughter. ‘I never heard such talk!’

  ‘It’s true. I’ve been trying to draw other people for weeks, but you keep appearing on the page.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Yes, you’ve bewitched me and the only way to break the spell is to draw you. So for the good of my health you must say yes.’

  ‘Well, just for your health’s sake - Master Alex.’

  ‘Not “Master Alex” - that makes me feel like a schoolboy in britches.’

  They laughed and continued their way round the lake, parting at the walled garden and agreeing to meet the next evening if the weather was fine. Kate thrilled at the thought, going over in her mind all the amazing things he had said to her. She imagined Suky’s worried fussings. He ‘ll just be after one thing! Stop now; you can’t shut the stable door once the horse has bolted.

  But Kate knew she would go - couldn’t stop herself. She wanted nothing more than to be in his company. She didn’t care if he sought her out merely to paint her picture. She knew he couldn’t possibly care for her the way she did for him, but it was enough just to sit close to him and gaze at his handsome face while he drew her own.

  So she met him the following evening and they sat behind the boathouse in the twilight of midsummer while he sketched. They met several times over the next couple of weeks, secret trysts among the trees like pastoral lovers, though they did nothing more than talk and laugh and briefly touch hands in between his bouts of drawing.

  When they parted, Alexander would raise her work-roughened hands to his lips and gently brush them with a kiss. Then her heart would pound and she would feel almost sick with longing. At night she lay sleepless in the stuffy attic bedroom, thinking of him lying in the east tower and wondering if he lay awake too.

  By July, Hannah was giving her suspicious looks when she came in late, as if she did not believe she stayed so long at her aunt’s cottage. Kate knew she must not start any rumours that would get her into trouble, for the housekeeper made no secret of her resentment that Kate had been brought from Farnacre without her approval and she would relish an excuse to be rid of one of Lady Ravensworth’s favourites.

  Alexander did not think beyond the day. He dwelt on little else but his meetings with Kate; she entranced him with her fresh looks and good humour. She was friendly and open and eager to please him. He liked to think that she might be the daughter of the kind Jarrow woman who had taken him to the circus and visited Ravensworth with her babies on that distant golden summer. He had long forgotten her name, but Kate reminded him of the pretty, generous lady who had shown him friendship.

  Alexander thought of Kate as he rode the Durham hills and each evening was impatient for dinner to end so he could walk to the lake. The secrecy of their meetings only heightened his impatience and excitement. Perhaps Lady Ravensworth suspected there was a purpose to his late evening walks for she did not insist on coming with him.

  ‘Henry’s looking tired - we’ll retire early,’ she would say, and wave him off.

  He had filled a whole sketchbook with drawings of Kate. He knew her features so well he could draw her from memory, but still used it as an excuse to meet. He had no idea where the liaison would lead; he just wanted the summer to continue like this for ever and not to have to think of the future.

  One evening an impulse struck him.

  ‘Kate, I’d like to go back to Jarrow - see where I used to live. In all these years I’ve never been back - never wanted to. But now, knowing you, it’s something we share. Would you come with me and show me? I could meet your mother - see if she’s the woman I remember.’

  Kate looked at him appalled. ‘No! I mean - what for? There’s nothing much to see - just the new town hall - and the old vicarage is gone. You wouldn’t recognise the place. And Mam doesn’t live in Jarrow any longer. Moved out to the country a couple of years back with our Jack.’

  ‘That sounds more pleasant.’ Alexander was astonished by her agitation.

  ‘Aye, but she doesn’t take to visitors. Health’s not good.’

  ‘How does she manage on her own?’

  Kate winced. ‘Our Jack’s still at home.’ Why had she not mentioned John McMullen before? It seemed too late now.

  ‘Well, we could still pay a visit to the town - look round the old monastery.’

  ‘Why bother when you’ve got all this bonny countryside round here?’ Her look was pleading. ‘Any road, I wouldn’t get the time off. Best if you went on your own.’

  Alexander was dashed by her refusal, but he could see by the stubborn set of her mouth that she would not be persuaded. Perhaps the notion was a foolish one, to want to see the place of fleeting happiness with his Cousin Edward. He thought it might have pleased Kate to be taken to see her mother, show off her acquaintance with a Liddell. But she was more practical than he. It was fanciful to think they could go about in public as equals or friends. People would rush to the wrong conclusion and condemn such a liaison.

  ‘You’re right,’ he said with a rueful smile. ‘Let us
drop the subject.’

  He saw how Kate at once regained her cheerfulness. He must remember to keep their relationship simple - and secret.

  ‘But maybe we could spend your day off in another way?’ he suggested. ‘A walk in the hills, perhaps?’

  Kate eyed him. She would like nothing more, but could not see how it could be achieved without discovery. She had promised to meet up with Mary the following Sunday.

  ‘I can’t,’ she said reluctantly. ‘I’m meeting someone.’

  Alexander looked away in disappointment. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve no right to stand in the way. A girl like you must have no end of suitors wishing to court you.’

  Kate gawped. ‘It’s not that—’

  ‘No, don’t apologise.’

  ‘It’s not a lad I’m meeting!’ Kate burst out, then blushed furiously.

  ‘It’s not?’ Alexander brightened.

  ‘No,’ she laughed, ‘it’s a lass - me sister Mary. She’s working at the Ravensworth Arms.’

  ‘I see. That’s good,’ Alexander grinned.

  They gazed at each other. Kate wondered whether he was courting but would never dare ask. He might already be married, for all she knew. She could be endangering her mortal soul by continuing to see him. But at that moment, the flames of Hell seemed a distant punishment.

  ‘Have you ever ridden, Kate?’ he suddenly asked.

  ‘A donkey on the beach once,’ she laughed.

  ‘I’ll take you riding then.’

  ‘I couldn’t!’ she spluttered.

  ‘I’ll arrange it.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘After you’ve met your sister. Get away early - I’ll meet you beyond the church at Lamesley. Say yes, Kate.’

  Her heart jolted at such daring, but when he looked at her with those intent eyes, she would risk anything.

  ‘Aye, I will,’ she smiled.

  He leant forward as if he would kiss her, then hesitated.

  ‘Splendid! Sunday it is - about three o’clock?’

  The next three days it rained continuously and Kate was kept indoors in the evenings, frustrated at the weather and wondering if it would prevent their ride on Sunday. She glimpsed Alexander twice with Lady Ravensworth, but he made no show of recognising her. They looked preoccupied. A ball was being planned for the middle of the month, but the earl was confined to bed with a cold, and rumours came back from the parlour-maids that Her Ladyship was fretting the event might have to be postponed.