Seeking Hope: Book 2 in the Seeking Saga

by Becky Poirier

  “She’s nothing compared to Michelle,” Kaia replied with a genuine smile. “If I can handle Michelle, then I can handle your sister.” Jack tensed beside me at the mention of Michelle’s name. I’d only had one encounter with her, but I already didn’t like her, and it wasn’t like me to instinctively not like someone. That was more April’s thing.

  “What’s with Michelle anyways? I know why April is the way she is, but I can’t get a read on Michelle. She was nasty to me, and it felt like the kind of nasty you’d experience with a long-time rival at school. It was weird.”

  Neither Kaia nor Jack answered me right away, but they did exchange this knowing glance. And by the way Kaia looked at Jack, it was like she was waiting for him to explain her to me. But he simply brushed off the subject as our elevator came to a stop. He opened the metal door and we walked off onto the small platform area they had for the guards.

  The guards acknowledged Jack with a polite nod. He was busy explaining who I was and what we were doing here. I’d given up on an answer to my question when Kaia leaned in and whispered to me. “She’s easily jealous of anyone new. She’s an attention seeker, especially when it comes to her father. She likes to think she has more power than she does. And while she has some influence on her dad, it’s not much. He mostly ignores her.” That didn’t really explain her to me, beyond saying that she was a spoiled brat, but maybe that really was all there was to her. At any rate, I hoped to keep my encounters with her to a minimum.

  I could see Jack watching me out of the corner of my eye. It was like he was waiting to see how I’d respond to what Kaia said. There was also something else there in his eyes. It was like he knew something more but didn’t want to tell me. I decided to let the subject go. Not because I wasn’t still curious, but rather because I was now completely distracted by what I saw below us as we approached the edge of the wall.

  Below was a moat and not some tiny little moat, but a huge one. As I leaned over, I could see that it went off in both directions, as far as I could see. “It goes around the whole village and it’s over ten feet deep,” Jack explained. The moat spread out just to the edge of where the draw bridge lowered onto the solid earth again. There was something odd about it though. It wasn’t filled with water or at least not completely with water. The liquid below had a strange slick sheen to it.

  Jack pointed to where one of the guards stood and beside him was a metal torch, which sat in holder attached to the wall. It wasn’t the only one either. They ran along the entire wall, every ten feet. The little walkway that the soldiers guarded from, also ran around the entire wall. I eyed the torch curiously and then looked back down at the moat.

  “Is that oil down there?” I asked. Jack smiled.

  “Your sister didn’t catch on as quickly. And when we explained it, she certainly didn’t look as impressed as you do right now.”

  “She probably was, but just didn’t let it show. She doesn’t like to give anything away. Have you ever had to light that stuff?” I asked.

  It was one of the soldiers who answered my question. He looked to be in his forties, with slight greying hair. He was a little shorter than Jack, with a bulky frame. “We were prepared to once. There were several dozen of the beasts surrounding our camp. We sat waiting with our torches lit, prepared to drop them.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We still can’t figure it out. But they just stared at us through the night, with their red eyes glaring. They’d scrape their claws at the ground, approach the moat and then back away. We’re not sure if it was because they didn’t like the oil, or maybe they can’t swim. Whatever the reason, they left before dawn and while they’ve come back occasionally in smaller numbers, the same thing has happened every time. Only now when they show up, they don’t spend much time here. They attempt to scare us a bit, but they don’t make any move to try to attack us. Now if we were caught on the outside after dark, that would be a different story. But in here, we’re completely safe.”

  Completely safe. I hadn’t felt that way since the beginning of the pandemic. It was going to take some getting used to.

  As we descended in the elevator, Jack asked me, “Do you think you could see yourself staying here?”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I replied with a smile. Now all I had to do was work on April and her attitude, to make sure she didn’t get us kicked out.

  Chapter Nine

  April’s mood didn’t improve after Jack dropped us back off at our cabin. She wasn’t impressed with the list of products the commander had, in her words, ‘demanded’ I make. I didn’t have a problem with getting to work right away. It wasn’t like I considered knitting to be a chore. To April of course, any domestic task was a chore. She was never the type to sit still and knit, cross stich, sew. She was the girl who ran in the mud races back in our hometown. You could count on her to help you paint a fence. She loved those things. To me those were work.

  I knew if she could just relax and let go of her worries, she would be able to see how wonderful this place really was. The whole communal living thing wasn’t really a new concept. Our ancestors had done it, literally. Our grandmother after all had been Amish, until she met our grandfather. She always said leaving her community had been the hardest part. She didn’t care for the world’s dog-eat-dog mentality.

  I personally always thought that, in many ways, the community lifestyle did have its appeal. I wasn’t all for the whole Amish style of dress. But if I could have my jeans and the community, then that worked for me. Everyone had exactly what they needed. Everyone worked together for the greater good of the community. It wasn’t a perfect system, but was there ever really a perfect system?

  By the time we needed to head to the dining hall, I’d already completed two small children’s hats, even with my sister’s annoying pacing and grumbling comments to distract me. Her mood only seemed to darken as the day went on. I didn’t think the teasing she endured on the tour, had been bad enough to warrant her current behavior. There had to be something else bothering her. I knew better than to question her. Sooner or later, she’d end up letting it come out. You couldn’t force her into anything, let alone sharing her feelings.

  April and I couldn’t have been at more opposite ends of the mood spectrum. While she wore her irritation all throughout her body, I was practically jumping up and down with giddy excitement. I tried to contain my enthusiasm, but it was difficult. Jack was coming back with the cart to drive us to the dining hall. April only agreed because she didn’t want me pushing my recovery too fast. I agreed because it was an excuse to spend more time with Jack. April knew exactly why I was so happy. I only hoped I was a little better at hiding my emotions from Jack.

  It was strange how fast I was falling for him. And it was kind of scary. While I knew he liked me, I didn’t know if he liked me like I liked him. And in a place like this, it wasn’t like you could get away from a person if they rejected you. You’d be forced to see them every day and that would just be awkward. I liked Jack too much to risk that. I was determined to do my best to hide my growing attraction for him. If he liked me back, he was going to have to make the first move.

  When he came knocking at our door, despite how badly I wanted to be the one to answer it, I sat on the couch and let April be the one to open the door. She waited for a minute for me to get up and when I didn’t, she huffed off the couch to let Jack in. He acknowledged April with a polite smile, which she did not return. But when he saw me, his smile reached all the way up to his dimples. I never realized how cute dimples could be. It took all my strength not to giggle.

  “You ladies ready to go?” He asked.

  With a great deal of effort, I managed to keep my response casual. “I think so.” I pulled myself up off the couch awkwardly, while placing as much weight as possible on my cane. Jack moved to help me, but April was right by my side before he could reach me. I cursed her out in my head. Jack looked a little disappointed as he l
ed the way out of our cottage.

  “I could have driven her over to the dining hall myself, if you’d just left the cart here you know,” April said as she helped me into the passenger seat. I groaned internally. Why did she have to be so awful to him? I didn’t care how she treated the others, but couldn’t she see how much I liked this guy? She was going to send him screaming in the opposite direction if she didn’t stop this soon.

  Jack didn’t let her get to him thankfully, instead choosing to ignore her snide comment as he sat down in the driver’s seat. “There are only a few of us who have permission to use these things…mostly construction crew. I had to get special permission just to use this for the day. They don’t like us wasting them. We have no idea how long they’ll last, and we really don’t have the spare parts to repair them if they break down.”

  My sister didn’t respond as Jack started the engine and drove along the grass to the dining hall. The tiny cart was completely silent and not the good silent. It was the completely awkward kind, that made me feel like I was crawling out of my skin.

  I wanted to try and start up a conversation, but I was afraid April would just ruin it. So, I kept my mouth shut. But the longer I stayed quiet, the more my temper flared. I didn’t know how much longer I could suppress it. April wasn’t the only one capable of blowing up at people. I prided myself on my control, but I wasn’t sure that control was worth it anymore. She’d promised me she’d give this place a chance, but she wasn’t doing that at all.

  I was sure that when we went inside, Jack would find a table as far from us as he possibly could. When we sat down at the table closest to the serving area, for my convenience, I was surprised when he sat down across from me. April’s hostility next to me only intensified. It was almost like one of those old cartoons where you could literally see the steam pouring out of her. I did my best to ignore her, and I wasn’t the only one. Jack was acting like she wasn’t even here. I liked him more with every passing minute.

  When it came time to go get the food, Jack offered to get mine for me before April could say a word of protest. As he rushed off after the food, my sister stomped her foot as she stood up. “This is getting out of hand,” she said. She was just about to leave to get her own food when I grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her back down to her seat. “Ouch! That hurt.”

  “I hope so,” I replied as calmly as I could between gritted teeth. “You need to stop this. Jack is just being nice. You need to stop being such an ass.”

  “Did you actually just swear?” My sister asked with a smile. She almost looked like she might laugh and like she was a little bit proud.

  For some reason, her smile only intensified my irritation. “Yes, I did. You’re really starting to piss me off.” I looked over at the food counter. Good, Jack was still dishing up, and his back was to us. There was no way he could overhear me. I leaned in closer to April whispering. “I really like this guy. And maybe it’s stupid. This world is crazy and having a silly crush is a ridiculous thing to even consider. But I can’t help it. And I want him to like me back, but you’re ruining it. Why won’t you just let me be happy for once?”

  She stumbled, at a loss for words for once. It was so unlike her. She was just about to respond when something or rather someone standing behind me, caught her attention causing her whole body to suddenly become rigid. The humour fled her face as her features grew hard once more. My stomach twisted inside. She didn’t really like anyone here, but there was only one person that could make her react like that.

  Slowly, I turned around to confirm my worst fears. I looked up and to my horror I saw that Billy was standing way too close not to have overheard our conversation. By the way he was smiling at me, I was positive he’d heard every word. My cheeks grew hot, my palms sweaty. I was going to kill April for forcing me to out my feelings in such a public place.

  “How’s my patient?” Billy asked coyly as he sat across from me taking what had been his brother’s seat. He placed his tray of food in front of him and immediately dug into what appeared to be some type of roasted meat and veggie dish.

  It was my turn to stumble over my words. My cheeks were growing redder by the moment. While he made no attempt to bring up what he’d overheard. The way he was looking at me, with that goofy grin, only intensified my embarrassment.

  April was the one to answer. “She’d be better if she’d been given real pain medication.”

  “April please…” I started to protest. This constant need to pick a fight was not only annoying, but horribly embarrassing. And I already felt mortified. I doubted that Billy was the type of guy to call Jack’s attention to my feelings right here and now, but he was his brother. I wasn’t sure what the brother code for this situation was, but as far as sisters went, you didn’t keep this kind of information to yourself.

  “No Summer, I’m not going to let this go. You’re hurting. And if he really wants you to be able to succeed with rehabilitation then he needs to give you something stronger than Tylenol.”

  Billy, instead of looking angry with my sister looked sympathetic. He didn’t respond to her though, but rather to me. “I wish I could give you something stronger. I did try to get an exception made for you, but Commander Tate isn’t budging on this. The stronger meds are for emergent cases, and he no longer considers you that. We have a limited supply since…”

  “Since what?” I asked.

  He shook his head as he leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “Not many people know this and if it got back to the commander, I’d get in serious trouble for saying anything.”

  “You can trust us,” I promised.

  Billy looked at me and then my sister. He was positive I could keep a secret, my sister, not so much. My sister just rolled her eyes. He sighed. “About a month ago a couple of our people decided they’d had enough of the rules here in the village. They thought they could make it out there in the open. They raided our supplies before leaving. Mostly they took a lot of food and a vehicle, but they also managed to ransack our medical supplies. They made off with a lot of Morphine, and Dilaudid. The one guy had been a junkie when we met him, and we’d helped him get sober. I’m not sure he really appreciated our help. I think he wanted to survive this world high. Anyways, thanks to them, we’re back to rationing our medical supplies until we manage to come up with some new inventory.”

  April and I looked at one another, having the same thought. They weren’t likely to find any of the good stuff again. We could barely make out with cough syrup when we got the flu last winter. The pharmacies were one of the first places people raided. I know my brother-in-law had gone out, against my sister’s wishes, to secure a large supply of inhalers for me. We ran out a couple of years back. Thankfully, I’d apparently outgrown my breathing issues. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have lived long enough to even get my leg infected.

  Jack joined just as Billy was finishing up his story. He slid my tray in front of me and then looked down at his brother. “You’re in my spot.”

  “I don’t see your name on it. Besides, I like this seat, it’s comfortable.” Jack sat down on the edge of the bench and forcibly shoved his brother over, all while delicately balancing his tray. “Okay no need to be so pushy. I’ll move over.” Billy moved over the rest of the way, which was only like two inches. This placed him right across from my sister. She glared at him.

  “I’m going to go get something to eat,” she huffed as she rushed away from the table, leaving me alone with my crush and his brother, who now knew about my crush.

  The two brothers ignored my sister’s departure. They were already beginning to figure out that the best way to deal with April’s moods, were to disregard them altogether.

  “What did I miss?” Jack asked looking from me to his brother.

  “A lot,” Billy said smiling at me. My cheeks flushed again.

  Billy didn’t elaborate on what he meant by his comment, despite Jack trying to pull it out of him. But the way he kept looking back at me, on
ly let his brother know that whatever the secret was, it had something to do with me. Between Billy’s insinuations. Jack’s continued prodding at the subject. And April’s horrible mood. I couldn’t wait to get back to our cabin.

  Chapter Ten

  I watched and waited by the window, with the curtains pulled back, so I could see when Jack and Billy pulled out of sight. Billy had insisted on coming back to our cabin, so he could check on my leg and of course Jack had to accompany him. Billy kept up with the sideways glances the entire time. I tried to insist that my leg could wait, but of course he didn’t listen. I was starting to find Billy annoying.

  My sister was also irritated by Billy’s presence, but for a very different reason. She was starting to take her disliking of him to an absurdly, obsessive level. It was like she needed to seek out a fight with him. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she’d reverted to her childhood and was hell bent on yanking out his hair, to show him her affection. But that was silly. She clearly couldn’t stand the guy. Then there was also the fact that she was still mourning the loss of her husband. I didn’t know if she would ever fully recover from that.

  By the end of the short visit, I was tired of all of them. My ability to keep my temper in check was at an all-time low. What I desperately needed, was some alone time to release my frustrations, but that wasn’t about to happen. Instead, I was trapped in a room with a person that was driving me crazy.

  Once I was sure that Jack and Billy were out of hearing range of our cabin, I let loose on April. If I shocked her earlier by my outburst in the dining hall, this was nothing in comparison. And unlike before she wasn’t smiling.