What I Fight For: A Bad Boy Military Romance (Easy Team Book 1)

by Gemma Hart

  I could think of a handful of reasons of keeping this man around but none of them were appropriate to say out loud. But I appreciated how he tried to put me in a position of power—as if my needing him made him important and more necessary than he already was. I knew he did it to make me feel less resentful towards the fact that I had no choice in the matter. I needed an escort and he was going to be that escort, no matter what.

  “So…you’re a soldier,” I said after a beat. He was clearly not going anywhere and it did feel nice to sit somewhere cool and quiet for a moment.

  “I was a soldier,” Cooper corrected. “Now I’m…well, what you would maybe call a freelance soldier.”

  “A mercenary.”

  “That too,” he said with a curled smile.

  “You didn’t…umm…follow me here, to Qunar, did you?” I asked, voicing out what I knew was a ridiculous notion but couldn’t help but ask.

  He seemed genuinely startled by my question before giving me an amused stare.

  “You mean, did I fly out here weeks in advance, bringing all my men, fake a contract with a NGO, set up a whole base, mission outline, and protocols, hire a man to contract doctors from your very hospital, fly all of you out so I could lure you out to this tree that you were already heading towards by yourself?” he said dryly. “Uh, no.”

  “You could’ve just said no,” I said throwing him a dirty look to cover up my blushing cheeks. I knew it had been a stupid question but the coincidence of us meeting again was just too crazy not to ask.

  Cooper chuckled at my embarrassed annoyance.

  Another beat of silence fell between us as we took in the moonlit desert. This time, Cooper broke the silence.

  “You’re a good doctor,” he said.

  He said it simply, without any emphasis, as if stating a common fact. His unembellished tone made the remark seem somehow even more complimentary.

  “What makes you say that?” I asked, surprised.

  He shrugged casually, leaning still on his arms. “You’re good at talking to people. Anyone can ask someone where it hurts. But you seem to have a knack for connecting with people.” He paused, then grinned at me in something akin to admiration. “Even when it’s not even in your own language.”

  I could feel a warm pool of something fine and good spread through me, making me feel like I was soaking in a tub of melted chocolate. Four words and he made me feel like a Nobel Prize winner.

  So he had been watching me work throughout the day. Just as I had been watching him.

  I bit my lip as I stole a sideways glance at him. This man was dangerous. In more ways than one.

  “Plus, it’s always impressive to meet a doctor who claims to be able to treat her own concussion,” he said, his eyes glinting with teasing humor.

  “Huh?” I looked up at him in confusion. “Who said that?”

  A smile definitely tugged at his lips. “You did, doc,” he said. “I think you would be the only doctor in the world who could treat herself even after knocking herself unconscious. Or at least, so you claimed you could.”

  “I did not!” I said. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I pretty much thought as well,” he said, his lips twitching.

  “I would never say something so ridiculous,” I persisted. But judging by the look he was giving me, I had a sinking feeling that I had said something that ridiculous that night at Reggie’s.

  Well, no one ever said genius would come from the bottom of a tequila bottle, I thought, trying to remind myself that I couldn’t be the only idiot in the world who said such stupid and outlandish things when flat out drunk.

  His easy humor and teasing made me feel more comfortable in his presence. He began to lose a little of that odd familiar-yet-strange vibe which had put me off when meeting him again in Qunar. He instead seemed more familiar than strange. But not just familiar….

  He felt good. He felt good to be around.

  Swallowing, I said, “You wrote on my arm that night.”

  Cooper nodded slowly before swinging his deep gaze towards me. There was no embarrassment from my mentioning that night. Those were the eyes of a man who was completely confident in himself. He knew he could babysit a drunk woman just as easily as diffuse a bomb or rescue a hostage.

  “I did,” he agreed but said no more.

  Screwing up what courage I could muster, I pressed, “I called the number you wrote.”

  I could see his shoulders stiffen momentarily before relaxing back into his casual pose. “Did you?” he said, looking back out at the darkness. “I’m going to bet that the number didn’t work.”

  “No, it didn’t,” I said.

  He nodded. “That’s my civilian number. It’s only active when I’m in town. Literally right after I put you in your friend’s car, I got the call for this mission. That number was deactivated before you probably even woke up the next morning.”

  “Oh I see,” I said, finding nothing else to really say. I had hoped that he had taken the hint. You had tossed the ball into my court and I had responded. Deactivated phone or not, I was pretty sure it was his turn now. But when he said nothing further, I looked down at my feet, giving a small pebble a kick. Clearly, he was going to let the ball just roll right out the court.

  “Maybe it was for the best,” he said suddenly, jerking me out of my reverie.

  “What?” I said, confused.

  “Maybe it was for the best that your call didn’t go through,” he said, keeping his eyes fixed on some point in the dark horizon.

  I stared at him. “If you thought that, then why would you have written on my arm at all?”

  He looked down at his lap with a rueful huff of a laugh. “Right,” he said. “Well, maybe that night I had thought differently. But now…after getting this mission….”

  “I thought absence was supposed to make the heart grow fonder,” I said, taking my turn to tease.

  Cooper snorted in appreciation. “Well, it does. But there’s also another saying,” he said. He looked up, pinning me with impenetrably dark eyes, made darker still by the night.

  “‘Ignorance is bliss,’” he said flatly.

  I bristled a bit, offended. “Are you calling me ignorant?” I said, my voice taking on a clipped tone.

  Cooper didn’t blink. “Yes,” he said without rancor. “Most people are when it comes to what my occupation entails. Even I get surprised sometimes by what I deal with.”

  “And what is it you deal with?” I asked a little breathlessly. I couldn’t move out from under his gaze if a bulldozer were to run me over.

  “Death,” he said promptly. “Torture. Kidnap. Murder. Corruption.” His face twisted for a moment before adding, “Betrayal.”

  “Easy Team is called only when absolutely necessary. So you can imagine how many levels of shit the situation must be under for me to be involved,” he said. “That means we see the absolute most base, primal form of men. I’ve seen true bravery but I’ve also seen the lowest, dirtiest fucking point a human could sink to. This is not a life for everyone. It can be a difficult life even for the ones that lead it. And it is definitely not a life for a partner. A significant other.”

  He shook his head, looking back down at his lap. There was an expression of sardonic resignation on his face. “I’ve shot more men than you’ve shaken hands with,” he said. “Lead a life like that and you’re bound to make enemies. Both kinds of enemies—the ones in the real world and the ones in your head.” He shook his head again, as if a little depressed by the truth of his own argument.

  “No,” he said. “You said it yourself—I’m a mercenary. I go where there’s a contract.” He gave me a humorless smile. “No contract, no me. That night in L.A. was the anomaly.” He gestured to the dead expanse before him. “This is my normal.”

  I stared at him, speechless. Colliding feelings of confusion, embarrassment, desire, anger, pity, and fear roiled within me. I hardly had time to organize any of thes
e emotions before Cooper suddenly rose to his feet, startling me.

  He stretched out his hand. “It’s getting late,” he said. “I can walk you back.”

  Without thinking, I put my hand in his, watching it get swallowed up in his large and capable grip.

  What was that you said, Em? About him losing that mysterious/stranger vibe? I sighed as we crossed the perimeter stakes. Maybe I am an idiot.

  Chapter Seven

  Emilia

  “This is a good space for a medical station,” I said, smiling at the town official. “This could definitely work.”

  The old man, who looked to be in his sixties, smiled and nodded. “I’m glad,” he said in halting English. “We are small but this is our biggest building.”

  I shook my head. “No, no, this is plenty big enough for us,” I assured. “Once we work out a schedule, my team can come in and do good work from here.”

  The official nodded and shook my hand. I shook his hand gently as his arm looked to be no bigger than a twig. He wore threadbare clothes and a patched up skullcap.

  He was one of the few town government officials who had stayed after the refugees had come flooding across the border. The town was now a shell of its former self but he and a few others had stood their ground against predatorial gangs and the like to keep the city alive.

  I gave one final look around the long meeting hall before following the official back to his office.

  The town needed medical attention as much as the refugee camp but the advantage a town had was that it had actual buildings. It had electricity. Running water. All of those things made medical care so much easier to provide.

  I had been called upon to visit the city and to check out the area for a suitable place to set up our workstation. Mr. Carew had called me on a sat phone, giving me the information I needed.

  I was about to head over to the large meeting tent to ask one of the men there if they could drive me into town when I saw Cooper walking out from behind a smaller tent.

  Without even thinking, I just instinctually turned on my heel and began walking in the opposite direction. Last night, whatever was said, in the end I had made my move. By admitting I had called him in L.A., I had essentially admitted my interest. It had been a nerve wracking admission but one I had swallowed my fears to make.

  But instead of pleasure or even surprise at this admission, the mercenary had seemed disappointed. He had seemed displeased. He had looked like he had regretted giving me his number at all.

  So regardless of how dangerous a mercenary was or how risky his life was, all I really felt was embarrassment. The same kind of embarrassment a thirteen year old me would’ve felt in passing a note to a boy, only to have it callously rejected.

  “Doc?” I heard him call out behind me. I continued walking. “Hey! Doc!”

  I sighed when I felt his large hand fall on my shoulder. I gave some resistance as he turned me around to face him but I knew it was only a gesture. This man was much stronger than me.

  I looked up at him, giving him my best calm neutral doctor face. “Yes, Captain Hawking?” I said. “Can I help you?”

  Cooper raised a brow at my tone. “Weren’t you just heading towards the command tent?” he asked. “Did you need something?”

  There was no use lying about the mission Mr. Carew had sent me. Eventually the Captain of Easy Team would have to know as well. I told him.

  “So I was going to the tent to see if one of the men could drive me into town,” I said.

  Cooper nodded. “I’ll take you.”

  “No!” I said almost immediately. I could only take so much awkward embarrassment. I cleared my throat and said more calmly, “No, I can ask…err…Lieutenant Bear.”

  Cooper’s lips twitched in amusement. “There’s no need for such formality with Easy Team. We’re all equal. I’m only called Captain to designate a leader but it’s not a rank. And Bear is his call sign. His name is Xander Vaughn, next time you want to chat with him.”

  I gave a curt nod. “Fine,” I said, feeling more embarrassed now that I had misused military titles and names. “I’ll talk with Mr. Vaughn then about driving me.”

  Cooper shook his head. “I’m sorry but he’s out on patrol. I’m afraid your next best option will just have to be me,” he said.

  I was about to argue that I had seen at least half a dozen other men on his team and I would much rather take my chances with them when he put both hands on my shoulders and leaned in.

  “Listen,” he said, pinning me again with those dark eyes that made me feel like I was melting from the inside out. “I know that last night made us both feel a little awkward.”

  Both? He looked just as calm and casual as ever. But now that his face was so close to mine, I did notice the faint darkening around some of the lines around his eyes. Perhaps it was both.

  “But I said everything I said to spare you more pain,” he said. “I don’t want you to have another risky night of reckless drinking because of me.” I lowered my head, unable any longer to meet his gaze but a finger tucked under my chin, forcing my head up. “But that doesn’t mean I feel like protecting you any less. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you any less. So let me do both. Let me worry about you and protect you.”

  A shiver passed through my chest. You want to worry over me and protect me…but you don’t want to date me. I know the word itself sounded so stupid and shallow—‘date.’ But what else was there to call it?

  But maybe it was for the best. Maybe he was right. The humiliation, the pain, I had endured after Edward was something I really couldn’t fathom experiencing again so soon. And really, I hardly knew this man. Who knew what kind of heartbreak he could be capable of?

  But left with no choice, I agreed. “Fine,” I said softly. “Let’s go then.”

  ***

  The office of the official was attached to the large meeting hall. The meeting hall had clearly been used as some kind of town hall assembly when there had been more people. But now it was abandoned and nearly empty of any furniture or people.

  Cooper stood waiting in the office, leaning against the wall near the door. “Things looking like a five star hospital in there?” he said grinning.

  “Just about,” I said, smiling back. “Once we get workstations set up, it’ll be a good space for us to work in.”

  The official beamed. “That’s very good news!” he said genuinely.

  Cooper straightened up and began talking to the man in Qunari. I was yet again amazed by the man. He spoke Pakreshi and now he also spoke Qunari? I watched as Cooper made gestures with his hands. From what I could gather, it seemed like he was already discussing how to call in the city people into the meeting hall for the medical team in an orderly fashion.

  From the moment we had arrived in town, I had been amazed by Cooper’s subtle diplomacy. Having seen him in camo and with a rifle in his hand, it was all too easy for me to understand who he was as a mercenary.

  But clearly, the man wasn’t all brawn. He had learned enough tact to pick up some of the local tongues to better keep the peace. He knew how to direct local officials and authorities without making them feel bossed about.

  I had had to stop myself several times from staring at him outright.

  As the two men talked, I looked out the open door and saw a little girl walking down the side of the street. She was in a ragged dress and her hair was in a messy braid. She had a very round tummy but the sunken cheeks of a malnourished child.

  I was just reviewing in my head what kind of foods we might have brought with us in the truck that I could give her when I saw her squat down near a gutter and pick something out from a muddy puddle. From where I stood, it looked like some kind of dirty soaking bar of some sort.

  Before I could shout, the girl immediately put the dirty dripping bar into her mouth.

  “No!” I cried out as I bolted out the door. “No, no! Don’t put that in your mouth!”

  From behind me, I heard Cooper shout
out in surprise, “Hey! What are you doing!”

  But I ignored him and ran straight for the little girl who had frozen in shocked surprise at the screaming white lady.

  Panting, I stopped in front of her. I put a hand on her shoulder lest she tried to run away. Closer now, I could see that it wasn’t some kind of sopping bar or bread; it was literally a piece of iron.

  It was some kind of rusted piece of iron that had been sitting in a dirty mud puddle for god knows how long.

  I plucked the iron from the little girl’s hand. She made a small sound of protest but I shook my head.

  “No,” I said, hoping my gestures and expression would translate. I spoke slowly, shaking my head. “This is not food. This is bad. Don’t eat this.” I shook my head again as I held the piece of rusted iron up. “Not food, okay?”

  The girl looked up at me in confusion, clearly hungry and not sure why a strange white lady wouldn’t just let her eat whatever she wanted.

  I sighed and dug into my pockets. I pulled out a slightly crushed granola bar. I handed it to her. I realized with some dry irony that she took the granola a lot more suspiciously than she had taken the dirty piece of iron.

  She held it like a foreign bomb that might explode in her hands.

  “That’s okay to eat,” I said. I mimed spooning food into my mouth and then pointed to the granola bar to connect the two. “That’s food.”

  The girl looked at the bar and then to me skeptically. I added nutritional aid to my list of things to do for the city. We had boxes of calorie dense nutritional bars at base camp. We had been handing them out to the refugees but I realized the people in the city needed them just as much.

  I was about to see if I could ask the girl her name when a large hand touched the small of my back, making me whirl around.

  Cooper stood behind me. He smiled at the little girl and said something in Qunari to her.

  The little girl looked up at Cooper with a quiet regard before looking suspiciously around the street. Finally she nodded.

  “What did you—?” I started.

  “Why don't you take her inside? The official says that he has some tea and biscuits for her,” Cooper said, gently pressing my back towards the official’s office.