Love Beyond the wall (A Rizer Pack Shifter Series Book 1)

by Amelia Wilson

  Darian knew he had no right to even hope she would grow to love him as he was for her.

  “Does your spirit wolf still want to kill me?”

  “No,” Darian said the pang of guilt he felt growing.

  “May I watch you shift? I’d like to thank your spirit wolf for protecting me.” She glanced around at the pack who listened intently to every word she was saying. “Unless, that’s not a good idea?”

  Darian nodded as he searched for his voice. “It is a great idea. My wolf will never hurt you. You don’t have to be afraid of him.”

  “Because he’s part of you?”

  Darian swallowed hard as he nodded once again. His wolf pushing to be set loose. His instincts so basic that all he wanted to do was claim her as his mate. Darian mastered his wolf spirit and knew he would be in control. It was important that Cara trust his spirit wolf, if she didn’t her spirit wolf wouldn’t either.

  The pack began to shift from their human forms into those of their wolf spirits. They understood what he was feeling, toward Cara and left to give them this moment alone.

  All except for Ian as he’d promised to protect Cara.

  Darian took several steps back. Before he allowed his wolf to push forward and shift his body into that of the wolf. He watched Cara as he changed, seeing himself through her eyes.

  She pressed her hands over her mouth as his bones shifted and the cracking and stretching of his flesh began but as the white wolf emerged she lowered her hands from her mouth. Her blue eyes ran over Darian in a kind of awe that he knew he didn’t deserve.

  He planned to roll onto his back to show her he wouldn’t hurt her but Cara fearless as ever approached him while he stood at his full height. Darian was no small wolf.

  “Thank you for protecting me,” she said and stretched her hand out and tentatively stroked his head.

  Her touch inflamed his wolf’s need to claim her but Darian held him back. Darian waited for Cara to remove her hand and back away. She didn’t.

  “You’re so soft and beautiful,” she said running her hand down his back. Darian’s wolf shoved forward nuzzling Cara’s hand without Darian’s permission.

  Darian pulled him back but Cara was smiling. Both her hands were on him. Her fingers rubbed his ear and it felt so good Darian became afraid he might lose control over his spirit wolf.

  Her hands roamed over his chest and down his stomach as Darian’s spirit wolf nuzzled against her shamelessly.

  “You should probably let him go and run,” Ian told Cara. His voice sounding much more like a plea than a suggestion. Ian wasn’t mated yet and the sexual need Darian was feeding out to the pack through the energy he emitted, had to be painful.

  Cara removed her hands and it took everything Darian had not to growl at Ian and command him to leave. He had to think about Cara, not his own physical needs.

  Run, Darian commanded his wolf.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Darian raced away leaving Cara with Ian.

  For some reason Ian seemed uncomfortable, so Cara took the chance to go and select clothes that would fit her better than the ones she’d taken from Darian’s room. Ian showed her to the room and then left to give her privacy.

  Cara thought she’d find a small closet with a few clothes to sift through but it wasn’t like that at all. The wardrobe, as Ian called it was an entire room filled with clothing. Not just old clothing, or the standard issue that was handed out in Aldrich town, there were many colors and styles.

  She found a dress that was a shade of pink she’d only ever seen in books. It was soft and delicate in shade and in texture. When Cara put it on loved it too much to take it off.

  Never in her life had she experienced a material as soft and smooth as the dress. It wasn’t loose and bulky like the dress she wore in Aldrich town. This one fit her like the clothes fit women in the books.

  Her shape was defined with curves Cara never noticed that she had. The body of the skinny girl in a dress resembling a bag was nothing like the young woman she saw staring back at her in the mirror.

  She wished that the purple and yellow swell on her cheek wasn’t so pronounced. Cara also was seeing her short hack job on her hair for the first time. It was crooked and not especially flattering but she loved it.

  It was the first step she took in defying and escaping Aldrich. Perhaps if she could straighten the cut it would be less distracting but she didn’t miss the length that served as a rope for Aldrich.

  There weren’t any shoes and she noticed that none of the pack wore them. She supposed that she wouldn’t need them after she shifted.

  Satisfied with the dress she left the wardrobe finding Ian waiting just outside the door. He closed his eyes and let out a groan when she emerged.

  “Is this wrong? Should I have picked pants?”

  “You get to wear whatever you want, Cara. I don’t know what kind of rules you had in Aldrich Town but here, you can’t go wrong unless you do something to hurt the pack.”

  Cara smiled at that. “I wouldn’t be punished for anything else? What about bathing? How often can I wash?”

  Ian frowned. “You want to wash?”

  “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because Aldrich town people smell like…” he swallowed remembering with whom he was speaking. “like they don’t like to wash.”

  Cara lowered her gaze. “It’s due to the water shortage.” When she looked at Ian again his face was red with obvious remorse.

  “I thought shifters didn’t have emotions,” Cara said in an effort to show him that she understood how easy it is to make assumptions and believe them.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, and I thought that when they were in the form of a human, that they still thought like a wild animal, a predator. Everyone in Aldrich Town is taught to believe it.”

  Ian frowned. “By Aldrich?”

  “Not directly, but yes. Everything is done as Aldrich wants it done. It’s his town.” An awkward silence stretched after that statement so Cara changed the subject. “You closed your eyes when I came out in this dress. Will you tell me why?”

  “Yeah. I closed my eyes because I know when Darian comes back and sees you in that dress he’s going to struggle with his manly… needs.”

  Cara looked down at her dress. “His needs? Is that your way of saying sex?”

  “Or you can call it mating. That’s probably more appropriate a word for us to use so I get to keep my balls when Darian comes back.”

  Cara shrugged. “I asked Darian if he wanted to… mate when I first got here. He said that he didn’t.”

  “That was not true and it was before he got to know you better.”

  “Now he needs to mate?”

  Ian shrugged. “I’ll let him answer you on that question.”

  “It is my duty to mate with him? Do all the females of the pack mate with him?”

  “Nope.” Ian answered backing away from Cara. “I should have made Kate stay with you.”

  Cara allowed him to back away, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but she also needed to know what was expected of her. “Who does he mate with then?”

  “Shifter wolves mate for life, so the answer to your question is no one else.”

  Cara looked down at her dress. If Darian left her in the forest she would have died, or been found by Aldrich. He saved her and if he needed to mate then she supposed she should allow him to do so, he’d already told her she was destined to mate with him, she just didn’t think it was going to be so soon.

  The word destined made it seem far off in the distance.

  Her father made sure that Cara was untouched by other men. While she didn’t know anything about sex first hand, her father paid for the use of some of the women in the town.

  Cara knew from the way her father talked about it, and the way she heard other men talk about it, like Aldrich, that it was pleasurable for men. The women her father used didn’t sound as though it was something they enjoyed.

&
nbsp; They didn’t look happy when they arrived at the house, they sounded like they were in pain, sometimes even crying, during mating and when they left it was not with a happy expression on their face.

  Cara knew that eventually she would be expected to allow a man to take his pleasure with her. Thinking of Darian as that man she no longer dreaded it.

  He would be as gentle as he could be and that warm, secure sensation she felt when he touched her would make it nice.

  “Thank the Lord, Kate and Jules are back,” Ian breathed heavily. As soon as the two women found them in the large sitting room Ian took Kate’s word to protect Cara and bolted out of the house.

  Jules scowled at Cara before disappearing into another part of the big fortress.

  “Don’t mind her,” Kate said. “She thought she was going to be Darian’s mate. She just needs time to accept it.”

  Cara felt a pang of something similar to anger but different. “Did Darian tell her she was his destined mate?”

  “No. You don’t have to worry about Darian having a wandering eye. He’s quite taken with you.” When Kate’s statement eased that feeling away, Cara realized she was feeling jealous and perhaps territorial.

  Or, is that my spirit wolf?

  “Is there anything you’d like to do before going to bed?”

  Cara reached up feeling the long slant of her hair. “Yes. Can you cut my hair? I did a terrible job of making it straight.”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  ****

  It was well after midnight when Darian returned from the run. He was the last one to return to the Rizer community, but he wasn’t about to return when he wanted so much to be with Cara. When his wolf was demanding, he claim her.

  Darian ran his wolf hard. He ran himself until he was exhausted.

  Once he shifted back into his human form and was dripping wet with sweat, he took a shower long enough to wash off and then dressed into new pants.

  His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he was sure he was waking the entire community of werewolves.

  Just go inside.

  Darian opened the door quietly and stepped inside, shutting the door behind himself. His eyes went straight to the bed where Cara lay. She was on the top of the blankets toward the left side of the big bed.

  She was dressed in a pale pink dress that hiked up her thighs as Cara moved in sleep.

  Shit.

  Darian walked over to the bed and tossed the blanket from the right side over Cara’s body.

  This was nothing like what he felt when he first lusted after Cara. It was all about his physical response to her then, and much easier to deny. Now, it was about so much more than the physical. Darian wanted to fill her, take away that emptiness she didn’t even realize she was carrying.

  He wanted to show her how good his touch could be for her. Darian wanted Cara to yearn for his touch, crave it like he craved her.

  That hiked up skirt was burned into his mind even with the blanket covering Cara. He wanted to kiss his way up her thighs and taste her.

  His manhood was standing at attention and throbbing with his need to have her, to claim her as his own.

  “Darian?”

  “Yes, it’s just me.” He wiped his face with the back of his hand.

  Cara pushed back the blanket. “You were gone a long time.”

  “I needed the exercise.”

  Her lips pressed together and she gave a sharp nod. Cara reached back and unbuttoned the dress. Darian held his breath in disbelief as the dress slid down her beautiful body.

  Does she want this?

  His cock was pressing so hard against the restraint of his pants that it was painful. Darian walked back around the bed to the side where she stood.

  He could hear her heart beating wildly and knew she was afraid. “Cara, what are you doing?”

  The blues of her eyes darted up to his face and then back down to his chest. She didn’t say anything. Cara sat down on the bed and then lay down drawing her legs up on the bed as well.

  She wants me to claim her.

  Darian bent toward her his mouth watering to taste the sweet nectar between her parted legs.

  Cara stiffened. Her muscles flexing as though she were preparing for a blow. Darian was only a breath from the pink rosette at her breast. If she was scared he could show her not to be afraid but this wasn’t just fear.

  Her eyes were blank and locked on the ceiling.

  I can’t take her like this.

  Darian backed away from the bed until his heels hit the wall behind him.

  “What’s wrong?” Cara asked suddenly aware that he hadn’t touched her.

  “Why are you offering yourself to me?”

  Cara looked down at her body and then quickly pulled the blanket up and over her nakedness. “I’m sorry.”

  Fucking hell. She’s sorry?

  “Cara, you don’t want this so why are you doing this?”

  She tucked the blanket in tighter around her body. “I am prepared to fulfill my responsibility. You said we’re destined mates.”

  “Responsibility?”

  “I thought this is what you wanted.”

  Darian pressed a hand over his rock-hard member thinking Cara couldn’t possibly know how much he wanted her.

  “Not like this.”

  He had to get out of there or he was going to do or say something he’d regret. “Cara, you misunderstood. Okay? I want you to go back to sleep.”

  “I don’t know what I’m expected to do to fulfill my responsibility here. What is destined mate if it isn’t an eventual mating of two people?”

  “Cara, it shouldn’t be something you have to do. It should be something you want to do. You have to want me Cara. Want me to touch you and taste you. You should want to spread your legs for me and need my dick thrusting into you.”

  This is why you should have left already, Darian. She’s not ready for this.

  She stared back at him. There were questions in her eyes but she said nothing.

  Darian left the bedroom and woke Errol, Ian’s twin. “Keep her safe.”

  “Where are you going?” Errol asked.

  Darian didn’t answer. He didn’t know where he was going. He just knew he had to get far away or he was going to lose the battle with his wolf and end up in that room pulling back the cover from Cara and showing her what she’d been too afraid to ask.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Darian didn’t return for two days.

  As soon he came back though, Cara felt his eyes on her before she saw him. She was so embarrassed over what she’d done she couldn’t bear to look at him.

  She’d offered him her body after he’d already told her he didn’t want to be stuck being her destined mate. All that talk about refusing to mate with her because she didn’t desire him was just an excuse. Women didn’t get desire. Not like men.

  He knew she would never come to him hoping he’d stab into her body with his. Why couldn’t he just continue being honest with her? Why didn’t he just admit that he didn’t want to mate with her.

  The pack greeted him and he asked them questions about the community and about Aldrich Town. He didn’t ask about Cara. It was Jules who volunteered the information.

  “She said you told her she could train to kill Aldrich. Rafi, and I have stepped up to make amends for our lack of support.”

  “Thank you, Jules. Darian,” Cara heard him say.

  When no one said anything else, Cara figured Darian was behind her as she picked at her lunch. A pull to turn around and greet him had Cara standing up.

  Stop it. Cara scolded her spirit wolf.

  “Are you going to welcome me back, Cara?” Darian asked. He was standing directly behind her as she suspected.

  Cara knew if they were going to move past the embarrassment she had to face him. Her heart skipped a beat as she turned around to look at him.

  I missed you.

  “Welcome back,” she said.

  He was holdi
ng a brown bag in his hand and looking at her like maybe he missed her too. “I brought something back for you.”

  “From Aldrich Town?”

  “No,” Darian said. He reached out and took her hand. “I want to give it to you while we’re alone.’ He led her out of the dining room, across the courtyard and into a room that was not his. Darian led her past the bed and out a door at the back of the room.

  Cara didn’t explore each and every room yet and was surprised when they stepped out onto a private enclosed garden. “This is beautiful,” Cara said forgetting that she was humiliated.

  “I bought you this from a store in the city of Sacramento.”

  Cara smiled at the brown bag. “Is it a fully functional city?”

  “Yes, one of many. I know when you climbed that mountain that you wanted to see something like Sacramento. You wanted to know that there is still hope for more than just existing.” Darian handed Cara the bag. “I couldn’t bring you back the city but I thought you might like this.”

  Cara smiled holding the bag in her lap and enjoying the anticipation of what might be inside the bag. Darian sat down next to Cara on the bench, his leg against hers. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

  “Yes, of course. Thank you for this gift.”

  “You don’t know what it is yet.”

  Cara parted the bag and pulled out a round crystal bulb with a busy city inside. Tiny round balls of snow falling around the busy roads.

  “It’s beautiful. Does it look like this, Sacramento, I mean?”

  “Yes. It still does.”

  She turned the bulb over and then back watching the snow fall again over the city. “Thank you. I love it.”

  “Do you?” He asked taking her hand in his again.

  “Yes.”

  Darian smiled. “I’m glad.”

  “Don’t worry,” Cara said slipping her hand from his. “I understand what you were trying to say before. I won’t do that again and put you in that position.”

  His smile fell. “I don’t get the feeling you do know what I was saying.”

  Cara carefully wrapped the bulb of the snowing city in the bag. She wished he wouldn’t demand going back over it all but, she supposed it would be best if he confirmed that he didn’t want her.