by B. B. Hamel
“You’re right,” I say, although I’m itching to do exactly that. “Would you tell me if it were something I needed to worry about?”
She stares at me for what feels like a long time. “Yes,” she says finally. “Now please, let’s drop it.”
I nod and change the subject. I ask her about her latest charity, which gets her talking for a good half hour. When she’s done, I finish my tea and thank her.
“I appreciate you letting me drop by,” I say. “Coming back into Addie’s life has been… it’s been hard.”
Eleanor nods as she shows me to the door. “I know it has. You’re adjusting yourself, aren’t you?”
“I am,” I say, “but I’m doing good.’
She nods, looking concerned. “Don’t think any more about the father, okay? He’s not a threat to you.”
That takes me by surprise. “Really?”
“Really,” she says. “And feel free to come see Cara whenever you want. It might be good for you.” She hesitates, and adds, “for both of you.”
“Thanks,” I say to her. “And thanks for the tea.”
“Any time, young man.”
I leave and head out to my truck. She shuts the door behind me, and that last comment keeps playing through my mind.
Why would she want me to stop by and see Cara whenever I want? And why would it be good for both of us?
I start the engine and slowly head back toward home, that question still playing through my mind. By the time I park the truck, I think I know the answer, and it’s the answer I’ve been avoiding this whole time, afraid it might tear me into pieces.
15
Addie
I’m bone-tired from work all week when Friday rolls around. Fortunately, Cara goes down easily, which gives me a few hours of mindless TV watching before I crawl into bed to get some much needed sleep.
I take off my bra and pull on an old t-shirt before sliding in under the covers. It’s just after ten, which is super late for me. I pull out my phone, intent on reading a little bit before turning out the light, but it suddenly starts vibrating.
I blink at the screen. It’s a call from Will.
“Hello?” I say softly, worried my voice might wake up Cara in the room next to mine.
“Hi, Addie.” He sounds gruff and far away, like he’s outside or something.
“What’s up, Will?”
“I want to see you,” he says.
“See me? It’s after ten and I’m in bed.”
“Thinking about me, I’m sure.”
“Hardly.”
“Look out your window.”
I pause a second. “Seriously?”
“Do it.”
I sigh and get out of bed. I walk over to the window and push aside the curtain, peering outside. Standing in our back yard is Will, looking up at me and holding a phone to his face.
My heart’s beating faster now. “What are you doing here, Will?”
“I need to see you. Come downstairs.”
“I can’t. I’m in bed.”
“No, you’re not. I can see you at the window.”
I sigh, biting my lip. I want to go to him so badly, but I’m afraid of what this means. “Will,” I say softly.
“Please.”
That word breaks me. I know I can’t resist. “Fine.”
I hang up the phone and step away from the window. I consider putting on a bra, but opt for a zip up hoodie instead. I pull on a pair of moccasins and hurry down the hall, trying to be quiet. Eleanor’s in her room upstairs, I can hear her TV. I take the steps two at a time and sneak out the back door.
Will’s standing by an old tree, arms crossed over his muscular chest. I stand there watching him for a second, feeling the chill night arm under my loose clothes. I know why he’s here, I can see it in his eyes, but what I don’t understand is why I’m not running away.
“Come here,” he says to me. I move to obey him without thiking, but stop.
“You shouldn’t be here. Cara’s still asleep. I can’t just leave.”
“Eleanor’s in there,” he says. “Cara will be fine.”
I hesitate, biting my lip. I know that if Cara wakes up and cries, Eleanor will check on her eventually. She’ll also realize that I’m missing, and maybe she’ll look out the window and see…
“Why are you here?” I ask him, although I know already. Of course I know. Everything’s been leading to this.
“Come here,” he says again.
I walk closer to him. I’m inches away when I stop. He unfolds his arms and reaches out the last bit of distance between us. He pulls me tight against him, hands on my hips.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers to me.
“We shouldn’t.” I whisper back.
“Probably not.”
He kisses me anyway. I kiss him back.
It feels so good, so, so good. It’s like coming home all over again, like he never left, like a piece of me just got snapped back into place. I reach up and run my hands through his thick hair as he kisses me deeper, pulling me tighter, and I know I’m not walking away from this. I don’t know how I possibly could, not after everything, all this anticipation and desire growing between us. I still hate him and I still love him and I still want him so bad it hurts.
I pull back slightly. “This way,” I say softly, stepping away but taking his hand. He follows me wordlessly across the lawn. There’s an old shed nearby, empty now except for some shelves and an old resting car. I pull open the side door and we slip inside.
He pulls the door shut behind him and steps up closer to me. I can feel my breath coming faster, my chest rising and falling, that strange excitement deep in the pit of my stomach. I want to scream and run around but mostly I want his fucking hands on my body.
He steps up and roughly backs me into the old car, kissing me full and deep, one hand in my hair and the other on the small of my back. I feel the old steel against my ass as he crushes me against it. I think the car used to belong to Eleanor or her brother maybe, I don’t know, I don’t care. His hands push the bottom of my shirt up and I left my arms, letting him pull it off me.
He groans as he teases my breasts. It feels so good to finally have his hands on my skin. I let out a soft moan, his lips against my neck, his body crushing mine. The metal’s cold against my back, but it doesn’t matter. I can barely feel it, not with Will’s hands on my body.
“I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” I whisper to him as he kisses my neck, his right hand sliding down the front of my little cotton shorts. I let out a gasp as he finds my clit, already soaking wet, and starts to tease me.
“I know you have,” he whispers, pulling back to smirk at me.
“You fucking—” My retort is lost in moans as he plunges his fingers inside of me. I groan and he works my pussy, pushing deep, sliding in and out and making my whole body writhe against him.
“This is all I’ve wanted,” he whispers back. I let out another groans as he rubs my clit again, his tongue on my breasts.
“Why did we wait this long?” I groan.
He laughs softly, biting my collar bone. “You’ve been too damn scared.”
“I’m still scared.”
“Good. Maybe that’ll make you come harder.”
He tugs my shorts down and I can’t believe I’m letting him strip me naked. But it’s warmer inside and even warmer with him pressed against me, and he feels so good, and I know I can’t fight it right now. He spreads my legs and drops to his knees in front of me, mouth on my pussy, tongue doing that magical, incredible fucking thing he does.
He grabs my ass with both hands and I suppress a shudder as he pulls me tighter against his mouth. His tongue slides inside and back out, teasing my clit with his lips and teeth before licking me all over. I can barely stand it. He reaches one hand up to tease my breasts as he keeps tonguing my pussy, in and out and working my clit, driving me absolutely insane.
I whisper his name, losing my mind, and he pulls back. “W
hat did you say?”
“Will,” I repeat.
His fingers find my clit. “Say it again.”
I groan. “Fuck, Will. Please.”
“Please what?” He slips his fingers inside of me. “Say it, Addie.”
“Fuck me.”
He stands and unbuttons his shorts, sliding them off. I step forward as he pulls off his boxer briefs, taking his thick cock in both of my hands and stroking him as I kiss him deep and full. I love how thick and long he is, and he’s so fucking hard, I can barely believe it.
He doesn’t waste any time. He turns me around, bends me over the car, and teases me with the tip of his cock. I feel his hands cup my breasts before his left hand grabs my hair, tipping my head back.
“I know you feel even better than you taste,” he whispers. “And you taste pretty fucking good.”
I groan as he slowly slides himself inside of me. I gasp when he thrusts once, filling me completely. I’m soaking wet and he easily slides inside but he’s still so big, and it’s been so long. He tears me open, ripping me apart. I want him so badly it hurts as I slowly wiggle my ass against him, letting his cock slide around inside of me.
He pulls my hair back again, kissing me over my shoulder. I moan into his mouth as he starts to fuck me again, this time thrusting faster and grinding his hips inside of me.
I grip the hood of the car, feeling the steel under my fingers, as his rock-hard cock fucks my pussy. He starts slow at first, letting the pain and the pleasure mingle, but as my moans get louder and deeper he starts to fuck me faster. I move my hips and my ass back against him, wanting every inch of his massive cock. I need him to spread me open and fuck me hard, make me his completely, dominate me until there’s nothing last.
He slaps my ass hard, pulling my hair. “Fuck Addie,” he grunts. “Your pussy is so god damn delicious. And the way you moan makes me so fucking hard.”
I gasp as he slaps my ass again. “I need more,” I groan in response.
“More?” He smirks, pulling my hair back again. I look over my shoulder at him, practically begging. “You think you can fucking handle it?”
“Go ahead,” I whisper. “Fuck me.”
He grunts and I can see flames in his eyes. He thrusts harder, gripping my hips, and I know I’m in for it now. He fucks me rougher, slapping my ass harder. I’m going to have handprints for days, maybe even bruises, and I love it. I work my hips and let him take me rough and fast, needing every inch of his cock. This is the release I’ve been dreaming about for so long, the pure, animalistic intensity of letting a man fuck me inside out.
I feel his hands reach around my hips, working my clit. I’m starting to sweat now and I can feel the pleasure building as his skilled hands slide between my legs. I gasp, his cock pumping inside of me, his hips grinding along as his fingers work my clit. I groan and buck my hips back against him, wanting that cock harder, deeper, rougher.
He bites my shoulder as he thrusts rough. I gasp and tip my head back, which just makes him slap my ass. I groan, dipping forward, back arching, pleasure flooding me so completely I can barely stand it.
“Don’t stop,” I whisper in huffing breaths. “You can’t stop.”
“I won’t stop,” he says. “I’d rather break you than stop.”
“You can’t break me,” I moan, but I think he can. “I want it.”
“Good.” He pulls my hair, fucking me as hard as he can, rough and deep and intense. I don’t know how long I can take this intense fucking but it doesn’t matter. I feel my orgasm coming, and he just can’t stop, can’t slow down.
He thrusts hard and fast, ripping into my pussy form behind. He pulls my hair back again and I can feel the orgasm coming. He knows it too as he works my clit in delicious and incredible circles. I move my hips and we’re fucking in rhythm together, working my orgasm up, willing it through my body.
I come harder, every inch of my skin exploding with pleasure as tingling runs down my spine. I think I nearly black out but he holds me up and fucks me just as hard and fast. He doesn’t relent, no for one second. There’s no mercy in him and I love it so much. I scream his name out and he grunts his approval.
Just as my orgasm finishes, he tears himself out of me. “Oh fuck,” he groans. “On your fucking knees.”
I turn around and kneel in front of him. I take his cock between my lips and suck his tip as he strokes his shaft, groaning the whole time. He comes in my mouth in big, pumping spurts. I swallow every drop of him, letting it slide down my throat and out along my lips. It’s a mess but I don’t care. It’s fucking sexy, taking him like this.
He groans and pulls back. I clean him up, licking every drop from his cock. He pulls me up to my feet and kisses me. I wrap my arms around my neck and let him pull me close.
Eventually we have to break apart. I’m sweating slightly as I get dressed. He follows suit, watching me the whole time.
“Think we woke up the neighbors?” he asks.
I grin at him. “Hope not.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Let them all know.”
“Gross.” I can’t help smile though. “I’d rather now let the neighbors hear me moaning your name.”
“Or swallowing my cum?”
“Will!”
He grins. “I’m sorry, did you not just swallow every single drop?”
I’m bright red when he pulls me against him and kisses me again.
“Don’t be gross or I won’t do it again,” I say.
“Don’t threaten me, or I’ll start threatening you right back.” He smirks drives me crazy and I kiss him softly in return.
“Asshole,” I whisper.
We walk out of the shed together. He goes with me up to the house, but leaves me at the door.
“Goodnight,” he says, stepping away and into the shadows. I stand there a second as he disappears across the lawn.
I shiver a little bit from the chill, or maybe from the lack of his touch. I linger, not wanting to go back inside. I’m afraid I’ll find reality, and right now, I don’t want reality. I just want whatever bubble I’m in when I’m with Will.
16
Will
I stretch my leg out in front of me, rubbing the aching knee. I let out a sigh of relief as I get a brief, painless second.
This is not the fucking job for me. I know it, and every single day I’m just counting down the hours until I can go home and ice this fucking aching joint. Even if I do my exercises every morning, standing around all day just totally ruins whatever progress I’m trying to make.
I ask myself for the hundredth time what I’m doing here. I should be out on the floor working right now instead of sitting on a stack of pill crates, not sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
It’s been a week since I last saw Addie. I went to her house in the middle of the night on a whim, mostly because I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to see her, especially after that conversation with Eleanor, and clearly it worked out.
I don’t know what I expected. I didn’t think she’d come out like that, or that we’d end up fucking the way we did. But that was the best possibly result, and I know it’s what I really wanted all along.
I can still feel her and taste her. Every day I wake up thinking about her. She’d been busy with work and Cara, and I’ve been stuck peddling shitty fake pills, so we haven’t had any time to see each other again. But we’ve been texting constantly, and whenever I close myt eyes at night, the memory of her body comes back to me.
“Will.”
My head snaps up. I realize that I was just lost in thought again, daydreaming about Addie. Tim’s staring at me with that ugly little frown of his. I can’t help but notice how much he resembles a rat, with his little mouth pushed back into a snarl.
“Yeah, boss?”
“What are you doing?”
I shrug a little bit and stretch my leg. “Taking a break.”
“I didn’t realize you had any breaks left. I thought you took your fifteen earlier.”
/>
I shrug again. “Need to get off my feet. Just a little hockey injury acting up.”
“Hockey injury? Will, you can’t just sit around in the back, okay.”
“Sure, I get it.” I stand up slowly, wincing at the pain.
Tim sighs dramatically. “And now you’re acting like your knee hurts just to get out of trouble, aren’t you?”
I stare at him. “Who the fuck do you think I am?”
His eyes go a little wide and I know I just made a mistake. “Please don’t curse,” he says, anger starting to build even more. “I’m going to have to write you up.”
“Write me up?” I laugh a little. “For sitting?”
“And for insubordination.”
“Oh cut the shit, Tim,” I say, and savor the look on his face. I know I’m out of control but I can’t help it. I’ve been wanting to tell off this rat faced dickhead since my first day on the job. “You’re a little dictator in this piece of shit store. And you know what? That’s fine, you can have your tiny, pathetic domain.”
“You better watch yourself,” he warns. “I don’t care if you’re the boss’s son, nobody talks to me that way.”
“I do, you piece of shit.” I step toward him and he shrinks back, afraid I’ll hit him. I don’t feel good about that, but I smile anyway.
“You’re going to be suspended!” he says, eyes wide, nostrils flared. “You’re going to get fired!”
“No, I’m not,” I say. “Because I quit this piece of shit job.”
He stares at me as I take off my uniform shirt. I toss it onto the ground and walk away from him wearing just my white undershirt.
Jamal stares at me as I come out onto the floor. “Yo, Jamal,” I call out.
He walks over. “What’s up, man?”
“I quit this shitty job. You’re cool though. Have a good life.”
“Alright man,” he says, laughing. “You take it easy, okay?”
