Jim Baen's Universe Volume 1 Number 3 October 2006

by Baen Publishing

  "While you're thinking deep serious thoughts, I'll start making your breakfast," she said, helping me to the shade of the tree, then going back into the bubble to find some H-rations.

  I sat motionless for a few minutes, considering what I had learned. And I came to what seemed, at least at the time, a surprising conclusion. She was my dream girl. She was drop-dead gorgeous—to me, anyway. We shared dozens of interests, and she was as passionate about them as I was. I felt comfortable with her, and knowing that she was really something else didn't disturb me half as much as I'd thought it would. If she was Rebecca only when I was around, that was better than never having a Rebecca at all. And she cared for me; she had no reason to say so if it wasn't true.

  She walked over and handed me a plate filled with soya products that were designed to look and taste like anything except soya products. I put the plate on the ground and took her hand in mine.

  "You don't shrink from my touch," I noted, stroking her arm gently.

  "Of course not," she said. "I am your Rebecca. I love your touch."

  "I don't shrink from yours either," I said, "which is probably a little more surprising. I'm sitting here, touching you, looking at you, smelling the nearness of you, and I don't give a damn who you are or what you look like when I'm not around. I just want you to stay."

  She leaned down and kissed me. If it felt like anything other than being kissed by a human woman, I sure as hell couldn't tell the difference.

  I ate my breakfast, and we spent the morning talking—about books, about art, about theater, about food, about a hundred things we had in common. And we talked in the afternoon, and we talked in the evening.

  I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up in the middle of the night. I was lying on my side, and she was curled up against me. I felt something warm and flat on my leg, not a bandage. It seemed to be . . . sucking is a terrible word; extracting . . . some of the infection from my leg. I had a feeling that it was some part of her that I couldn't see; I decided not to look, and when I woke up in the morning she was already gathering some firewood for warming my breakfast.

  We spent seven idyllic days together at that campsite. We talked, we ate, I began walking on a pair of crutches she made. Four times she excused herself and ran off, and I knew she'd picked another distress signal out of the air, but she was always back a few minutes later. Long before those seven days were up I realized that, despite a broken leg and a shredded arm, they were the happiest days I'd ever spent.

  I spent my eighth day with her—my ninth on Nikita—making my way slowly and painfully back to the spot where the ship would pick me up the next morning. I set up my bubble after dinner, and crawled into it a couple of hours later. As I was starting to drift off I felt her lie up against me, and this time there was no illusion of clothing.

  "I can't," I said unhappily. "My leg . . ."

  "Hush," she whispered. "I'll take care of everything."

  And she did.

  ****

  She was making breakfast when I awoke.

  "Good morning," I said as I emerged from the bubble.

  "Good morning."

  I hobbled over and kissed her. "Thank you for last night."

  "I hope we didn't damage your wounds."

  "If we did, it was worth it," I said. "The ship is due in less than an hour. We have to talk."

  She looked at me expectantly.

  "I don't care what you are," I said. "To me you're Rebecca, and I love you. And before the ship arrives, I've got to know if you love me too."

  "Yes, Gregory, I do."

  "Then will you come with me?"

  "I'd like to, Gregory," she said. "But . . ."

  "Have you ever left Nikita before?" I asked.

  "Yes," she replied. "Whenever I sense that someone with whom I've been linked is in physical or emotional pain."

  "But you always come back?"

  "This is my home."

  "Did you visit Myron Seymour after he left Nikita?"

  "I don't know."

  "What do you mean, you don't know?" I said. "Either you did or you didn't."

  "All right," she said unhappily. "Either I did or I didn't."

  "I thought you were never going to lie to me," I said.

  "I'm not lying, Gregory," she said, reaching out and laying a hand on my good shoulder. "You don't understand how the bond works."

  "What bond?" I asked, confused.

  "You know that I look like this and I took this name because I was drawn irresistably to your pain and your need, and found the name and the image in your mind," she said. "We are linked, Gregory. You say that you love me, and probably you do. I share that emotion. But I share it for the same reason I can discuss your favorite books and plays—because I found them where I found Rebecca. When the link is broken, when I'm not in contact with you any more, they'll be forgotten." A tear rolled down her cheek. "And everything I feel for you this minute will be forgotten too."

  I just stared at her, trying to comprehend what she'd said.

  "I'm sorry, Gregory," she continued after a moment. "You can't know how sorry. Right now all I want is to be with you, to love you and care for you—but when the link is broken, it will all be gone." Another tear. "I won't even feel a sense of loss."

  "And that's why you can't remember if you made it to Earth and saved Seymour?"

  "I may have, I may not have," she said helplessly. "I don't know. Probably I never will."

  I thought about it. "It's okay," I said. "I don't care about the others. Just stay with me and don't break the link."

  "It's not something I can control, Gregory," she replied. "It's strongest when you need me most. As you heal, as you need me less; then I'll be drawn to someone or something that needs me more. Perhaps it will be another man, perhaps a Patrukan, perhaps something else. But it will happen, again and again."

  "Until I need you more than anyone else does," I said.

  "Until you need me more than anyone else does," she confirmed.

  And at that moment, I knew why Seymour and Daniels and the others had walked into what seemed near-certain death. And I realized what Captain Symmes and the Patrukan historian Myxophtyl didn't know: that they hadn't tried to get themselves killed, but rather to get themselves almost killed.

  Suddenly I saw the ship overhead, getting ready to touch down a few hundred yards away.

  "Does anyone or anything need you right now?" I asked. "More than I do, I mean?"

  "Right this moment? No."

  "Then come with me for as long as you can," I said.

  "It's not a good idea," she said. "I could begin the journey, but you're getting healthier every day, and something always needs me. We'd land at a spaceport to change ships, and you'd turn around and I'll be gone. That's the way it was six years ago, with the human and Patrukan survivors." Her face reflected her sorrow. "There is so much pain and suffering in the galaxy."

  "But I need you even if I'm healthy," I said. "I love you, damn it!"

  "And I love you," she said. "Today. But tomorrow?" She shrugged helplessly.

  The ship touched down.

  "You loved each of them, didn't you?" I asked.

  "I don't know," she said. "I would give everything I have to remember."

  "You'll forget me too, won't you?"

  She put her arms around my neck and kissed me. "Don't think about it."

  Then she turned and began walking away. The pilot approached me and picked up my gear.

  "What the hell was that?" he asked, jerking a thumb in Rebecca's direction—and I realized that he saw her as she truly was, that she was linked only to me.

  "What did it look like to you?" I replied.

  He shook his head. "Like nothing I've ever seen before."

  ****

  It took me five days to get back to Earth. The medics at the hospital were amazed that I'd healed so quickly, and that all signs of infection were gone. I let them think it was a miracle, and in a way it was. I didn't care; all
I cared about was getting her back.

  I quit my job at OceanPort and hired on with the police department. They stuck me behind a desk for a few months, until my limp disappeared, but yesterday I finally got transferred to the vice squad.

  There's a major drug deal going down tonight: alphanella seeds from somewhere out in the Albion Cluster, ten times as powerful as heroin. We'll be mounting a raid in about four hours. The buyers and sellers both figure to have plenty of muscle standing guard, and it's likely to get pretty hairy.

  I hope so.

  I've already locked my weapons away.

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  The Old Woman In the Young Woman by Gene Wolfe

  Illustrated by Emily Tolson

  He had been walking all day. Twice the wandering trails he followed had led him into ruined towns; in each case he had halted and spent an hour or so poking through such rubbish as nature had not yet buried. In neither case had he found anything worth keeping. Knives that would not rust were found in ruined towns, sometimes. Or so some said. Long Tom, who would have liked one, had never found one or even seen one.

  To the people who had lived in those towns, he had given not a moment's thought. The roofs of their houses had fallen, and the walls were falling. The broad, black pavements were crumbling. The people who had made them had died long before he was born. He had never met anyone who had spoken to one of them, and he never would.

  His belly was empty when he came to the village. The little buckskin pack in which he sometimes stored food held only an old pair of stockings. The slender rifle he bore was heavy on his shoulder, its weight reminding him over and over again that he had not had a decent shot all day. That rifle would no longer feed a cartridge when he pulled its lever down, but he rarely needed a quick second shot.

  Up the hill along a path that was a little too wide and clearly marked to be a game trail. Through blackberry brambles on which not one berry was ripe.

  Then, the crest of the hill.

  Long Tom put down his rifle, setting its curved brass butt-plate almost carefully beside his right moccasin, and looked down at the tiny village in the valley. Six cabins, he thought, or it could be seven. Smoke rising from three chimneys. The cabins looked too poor to offer much comfort to a traveler. Too poor, although one was a trifle bigger than the rest and had an outbuilding. A little barn, or perhaps a woodshed.

  ****

  Inside that larger cabin, young Emmy sat at old Miz Emily's bedside, listening. Listening, but the words came slowly, punctuated with much labored breathing. The wide spaces between those words had room for a great deal of dreaming, and Emmy was a practiced dreamer. Someday—some happy day very soon—Miz Emily would be close to young again. Miz Emily would rise from her bed and once more do all the things she now did only in her stories. She would bake bread, can, and heal.

  "A brain," Miz Emily told Emmy, "spiles faster 'n a fish." She shut her eyes, and the breath whistled through her toothless old mouth. "Brain's the worst part of a man . . . Or a woman, either . . . You can't hardly never save it."

  Emmy nodded, rapt.

  "Ol' Sheller Shapcott . . . He wasn't hardly cold. I shot in my heart-get-up . . . Best I had. His heart . . . She galloped again . . . You see, Emmy?"

  Emmy nodded as before.

  "Never moved . . . Never spoke. Horse's alive, only nobody riding."

  Still nodding, Emmy cocked her head, conscious of a new sound. Someone was tapping on the front door. She rose.

  A faint smile touched Miz Emily's lips. "Somebody's sick. You see who."

  Emmy hurried away.

  Outside, Long Tom, who had been knocking with his knuckles, had changed to the handle of his knife. He was about to resume knocking when the door swung back.

  The girl was young and small, with the sort of plain, smooth face that promises beauty (although not prettiness) to come. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of Long Tom, and her small lips formed an O.

  Tom removed his cap. "I'm a man that needs a place to stay tonight, ma'am. There's rain comin', which you can feel if you breathe deep. Just a place out of the rain, and a bite to eat, if you can spare. Cornpone or what you got. Tell your ma?"

  "I don't have no ma." The girl's voice was scarcely audible. "Never did."

  Long Tom nodded and smiled. "You the lady of the house, ma'am?"

  "Miz Emily." The girl reached a decision. "She said let you in." She stood aside.

  Long Tom entered, still smiling. "I don't believe we've met proper, ma'am. Tom Bright's my name. Long Tom's what most folks call me. Guess you can see why." He held out his hand.

  The girl's touched it; hers was far smaller than his but just as hard, the hand of a girl who scrubbed, cooked, and swept, Tom thought, from kinsee to kaintsee. "I'm Tom Bright," he repeated, "'cept you can call me anythin' you'd like. Long Tom or whatever."

  The girl's hand had closed on his.

  "Lazy, mebbe. Lazy's good. There's lots of folks call me that."

  At last she smiled, and her smile stirred to life something in him he knew at once would never die.

  "Hungered, Tom? Didn't you say you was? Stew for supper tonight, an' I got it on a'ready. Be fit to eat 'fore long. You could sleep by the fire, mebbe? I do, only in Miz Emily's room, you know. Case I got to git her somethin'. We got our own li'l fire in there, an' it's God's own blessin'."

  "Your pa won't mind?"

  The girl shook her head. "Ain't never had none, Tom. Ain't nobody here 'cept us. Miz Emily an' Emmy. I'll have to show you to Miz Emily, Tom. It's only polite. You come along. We got to see if she's wakeful."

  Tom sighed. "If she don't want me, I'll go, Emmy. There won't be no trouble."

  "She'll cotton to you," Emmy told him. "It's certain sure. There aplenty for us to be feared of without our bein' feared of you."

  Hand-in-hand they walked through the big front room, a lofty room redolent of venison stew. A clean and orderly room that had, somehow, something of the air of the ruined towns. It might, perhaps, have been the high, stained table.

  It might also have been the bags of rags, or the three lofty cabinets along one wall, locked cabinets of hardwood black with years, somber and silent.

  Emmy motioned him back and opened the door of another room enough to put her head through. "Comp'ny, Miz Emily. Name's Tom Bright an' seems a well-favored man. You want to see him?"

  Apparently Miz Emily did; Emmy turned and waved.

  Going in, Tom saw the oldest woman he had ever set eye on sitting propped up in bed. Her white hair was almost gone, her cheeks fallen in, and her nose and chin so long they nearly touched. Only the eyes, blue eyes that seemed as young as Emmy's, remained alive in her ruined face.

  "Long Tom's what they call me, ma'am." Tom touched his forehead. "I'm headed west, Miz Emily. There's land there that ain't so pizzoned as 'tis 'round here. So I hear tell. The folks is dead, mostly, like here. Only the land's better. So I'm goin' to claim a real good piece for my own."

  The aged head nodded the merest fraction of an inch. For an instant, Tom thought he saw the dry lips twitch in what might have been a smile—or almost anything else.

  "So I'm jest passin' through," he finished lamely. "I'd slept out in the woods like I done last night, only there's rain in the air, you know. So I seen your place here, all these houses, an' this's the biggest so I thought it'd have more room most likely. I'll work, if you got work to do, or else be gone at sunup. I'll go now, if you say to. Only Emmy said I got to talk to you."

  "Goin' to farm, Tom? Know how to?"

  Tom nodded. "Yes'm. My pa had a farm, an' me an' Cy, we worked it. Only us, out toward the end, you know. Then pa passed. Cy, he said we'd split. Only there wasn't enough for it. I want a couple fields an' medders. Enough for a horse an' a milk cow fer sure."

  His own eyes had sunk in dream, although he did not know it. "Corn an' a garden, too. Chickens an' mebbe a pig. Got to have a sight of good land for all that."

  "Like him, Emmy?" Miz Emily's voice shook. "
Can see you do. Wouldn't have brought him to me if you didn't."

  Emmy nodded.

  "Got a wife, Tom? Girl back home?"

  Looking stricken, Tom shook his head.

  "Don't let that pretty face fool you, Tom. Emmy's a hard worker."

  Tom managed to say, "I know it, ma'am."

  "Smart, too. Smart as a whip."

  "I . . . I ain't much, ma'am. I ain't much, an' I couldn't—"

  Emmy made a tiny noise.

  "Well, I ain't." Tom swallowed. "An' you got to take care of your grandma, Emmy. Only I guess I could, mebbe, stay on a bit . . . If you'd have me."

  Miz Emily cackled. "She ain't my granddaughter, Tom. She's me."

  Tom stared at her, then at Emmy. And found he could not tear his eyes from the latter.

  "'Splain, Emmy. I'm that tired."

  "There's a man here . . ." Emmy groped for words. "A neighbor, you know. Pen Perry's his name. He found a real pretty bush one time. Had pretty flowers all over it, an' he wanted two. Wanted one for each side of his door."

  Rain rattled the cedar shakes of the roof.

  "So he dug it up an' split it. I seen that. Seen him hackin' it into two with his hatchet. He planted the halves an' had him two bushes. You know 'bout that, Tom?"

  "Sure thing. We done it."

  "People can do it, too. 'Cept it's way harder for us."

  From the bed, Miz Emily said, "I done it once. Made me a girl folks called Emma. Only she was me, and grown from little bits of me."

  Emmy said, "She's a medicine woman, Tom. Miz Emily's a medicine woman."

  "Soon's she'd growed big 'nough," Miz Emily continued, "I harvested. Took the eyes and the liver and kidneys. That was what I needed, and I buried the rest proper."

  Tom said nothing; he was looking at Emmy.

  "You'll be wonderin' how I set my new eyes in once the old was out. There's a lady in Swinton. Miz Pris, they call her. I help her, and she helps me."

  "It's her heart this time, Tom. Heart an' lungs, too." Emmy touched her chest. "I'm growin' the new in me now. 'Fore long I'll be big 'nough. Next year, Miz Emily tells."

  "It don't seem right," Tom muttered, "puttin' the young woman in the old one."