In the Doctor's Arms

by Carol Ross

  So maybe he should just plunge ahead and tell her how he felt? He knew she felt something, too. The problem was that their relationship wasn’t typical. He’d been so sure that if he got confirmation that she had feelings for him, then convincing her to stay in Rankins would be a breeze. After his conversation with Margaret, he wasn’t nearly as confident. A few well-placed questions to Hazel had confirmed everything their mother had told him and more.

  The fact that Iris had sailed through the wedding had to have alleviated some of that old angst. Still, he needed to apologize for the assumptions he’d made. That ignorant comment he’d made before the wedding about “overcoming” bad memories and “moving on” made him cringe. The good news was they were finally on the right track.

  Sure, it might take a little more time to win her over than he’d originally believed, but he could do it. They were perfect for each other, and he was going to do his level best to show her that.

  Removing his phone from his pocket, he tapped out a text: Good morning, my favorite duck. We need to chat. Can you meet me for a late lunch?

  Before he could press Send, a voice off to his left stopped him in his tracks. “Do you know how annoying it is to come all this way and find you on the phone that I can’t even get you to answer?”

  Deliberately keeping his focus on the screen, Flynn reread the message and made a show of hitting Send before responding, “I’m a very busy man, Sonya, and I only have time to answer the messages that are important to me.”

  He scrolled through a few already-answered texts before looking up into the face of his ex-wife. Slowly, he registered the rest of her, taking meticulous care not to let his surprise show because it was obvious that she’d intended to blindside him. Melodrama should have been her middle name. Flynn’s lack of response in these situations had often exasperated her.

  He was a master at ignoring and defusing drama. His entire childhood had consisted of it, and he wasn’t about to start reacting now, not even when his ex-wife showed up at his place of work unannounced and obviously pregnant.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “WHAT ARE YOU doing here?”

  “Nice to see you, too, Flynn.” Sonya pushed away from the wall and stepped closer. The doctor in him calculated that she had to be at least seven months along, while the ex-husband calculated the relief and gratitude he felt that there was no way the child could be his. The idea of being a dad was scary enough—the thought of parenting with Sonya was stone-cold terrifying.

  “I never said that—that it was nice to see you.”

  “Flynn, I’m not here to trade barbs. I need to talk to you.”

  “So you’ve said. But what I don’t understand is why you couldn’t relay the information through my attorney like I requested.”

  “Because...” She huffed out a sigh. “This is personal. Please, Flynn, can we go sit down somewhere? My back is killing me.”

  Flynn raked a hand across his jaw. “Sure,” he said, even though this was not the woman he wanted to sit down and have a conversation with right now. “I’m on my way to the cafeteria to grab a coffee, anyway. I had a late night.” He gestured down the hall and she fell into step beside him.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I was always amazed at the amount of caffeine you could consume and still sleep like the dead.”

  Flynn gave her a sidelong glance. Surely, she wasn’t here to reminisce about their unhappy marriage? He changed the subject to what must certainly be her favorite topic. “It appears that congratulations are in order. You’re finally getting that baby you always wanted.” Obsessed over, he silently corrected. “How far along?”

  “Thirty weeks.”

  “Boy or girl?” he asked, following up to be polite.

  She waited a beat before answering. “Girl.”

  “That’s great, Sonya.”

  Following her inside the cafeteria, Flynn was glad to see only a couple of tables were occupied. Less chance their conversation would be overheard. Despite her penchant for histrionics, he knew whatever she had to say must be a doozy for her to come all this way.

  * * *

  ON HER WAY home from Copper Crossing, where she’d done some paperwork and had a lesson with Cricket, Iris read Flynn’s text when she stopped at the grocery store in town. She decided sharing her good news might be an effective way to head off any awkwardness between them, so she took a detour to the hospital. A quick check with Nicki at the nurses’ station and Iris learned that he was on break. This usually meant that he could be found in one of four places—the roof, the staff lounge on the third floor, Ally’s office or the cafeteria. With Ally away on her honeymoon, and the cafeteria closest, she headed that way.

  She spotted him immediately at a small table in the corner talking to a very beautiful pregnant woman. Not wanting to interrupt, she pulled out her phone, intending to text him and see how long he’d be. Too late, she knew he’d seen her when her phone chimed in her hand. Reading the words had her insides tangling with dread.

  Help! This is my ex-wife. Remember how you said you owed me? Please come over here, so I can tell her you’re my girlfriend.

  His ex-wife! No, no, no. A kiss, a probable job and meeting Flynn’s ex-wife within a twenty-four-hour span was more than she could take. Maybe she could sneak out... But when she looked up, he was waving her over. She did owe him. Summoning her game face, she approached the table.

  “Iris, hi, honey. This is Dr. Sonya Traver, my ex-wife. Sonya, Dr. Iris James, my girlfriend.”

  Of course Flynn would only have a stunning doctor of an ex-wife. Shiny black hair cut in a chin-length bob emphasized her high cheekbones and sharply angled jawline. Her crystal-blue gaze was openly curious as she assessed Iris.

  Iris couldn’t help but notice she was thin but puffy at the same time, in that way some pregnant women get. Upon closer inspection, she could see her eyes were red-rimmed and purplish half circles beneath them hinted at exhaustion. All of this suggested to Iris that Flynn’s ex-wife was miserable.

  Sympathy welled in her and she reached out a hand. “Lovely to meet you, Sonya.”

  “You, too. Are you a doctor here at the hospital, too?”

  “No, I’m not a medical doctor. I have a PhD in economics. For some reason, Flynn thinks it’s fun to call me a doctor.”

  Her smile appeared gracious and genuine. “Well, you are a doctor. And economics is so interesting, but difficult and confusing, if you ask me. I dropped my Econ 101 class in undergrad.”

  Iris couldn’t help but chuckle. This woman wasn’t anything like she’d been expecting. From Flynn’s few comments she’d assumed Sonya was disagreeable and wholly unlikable.

  “Plus, if it makes you feel better, I don’t treat patients, either. I work in research.”

  Flynn interrupted the small talk. “Sonya decided to surprise me with a visit today.”

  Iris got the message. He wanted her to know that he hadn’t known she was coming. Hmm. “How nice. Flynn, you and I can talk later. I’ll be leaving for Anchorage around four, so before that, if your schedule allows it.”

  Flynn frowned, and Iris knew he wanted to ask about her trip.

  “You know what?” Sonya said, sliding her chair away from the table. “Flynn and I are finished for now.” She stood and took a few steps away. “Why don’t you sit here and join him?”

  “What?” Flynn looked back at his ex-wife, confusion stamped all over his face. “You just got here, and you didn’t even tell me the reason that you’re visiting.”

  “I know and I’m sorry.”

  “Not that I mind if you want to go, I just find it odd.”

  “I know.” Sonya’s smile was stiff.

  Iris was struck with the sense that she’d interrupted something very important. She wasn’t sure if it was the hurdle she’d seemed to scale last night, or her new almost-job, but she wasn’t intim
idated by this woman in the least.

  “Sonya, are you sure? Flynn and I can get together later. I don’t mind waiting.”

  Sonya’s vibrant blue gaze bored into her, seemingly trying to estimate her sincerity, and adding fuel to her assumption. Desperation and sadness seemed to ooze from her. She pressed two fingers to her temple. “I’m positive. I was going to ask Flynn for a favor, but I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to go in a different direction.” She dug a tissue out of her pocket and used it to dab at tears now sparkling in her eyes. “Do you have children, Iris?”

  Iris offered a gentle smile. “No, I don’t.”

  She wiped her nose. “I’m sorry for losing it like this. It’s true what they say about pregnancy wreaking havoc with your hormones and emotions.”

  “Please.” Iris reached out and laid a hand on the woman’s forearm. “There’s no need to apologize. My oldest sister is pregnant right now and she happily proves that point on a daily basis. And Shay is already an extremely, um, passionate person. Yesterday, I asked her if she wanted me to get her a cupcake and she teared up.”

  Sonya brightened a little and patted her belly. “Same age as mine then. Maybe, someday, you two will see how a child can change your life.”

  That statement seemed difficult to weave around. Thankfully, Iris didn’t have to answer because Flynn chimed in, “Maybe.”

  “Despite Flynn’s fears, he’ll be a wonderful dad.”

  “I’m sure he will be,” Iris said. His fears? What fears did Flynn have about fatherhood?

  “It was wonderful to meet the woman who finally managed to open Flynn’s heart.”

  “Oh, um, thank you...” Iris stammered. “But I didn’t know it was closed.”

  Flynn reached out and snagged Iris’s hand, reminiscent of last evening’s performance. “That’s because it’s not closed for you.”

  “That’s sweet. You two are adorable and that makes me really happy.” Sonya managed a small smile. “Goodbye, Flynn.”

  “Goodbye, Sonya.”

  They watched her walk away and Iris asked, “Should you walk her out or something?”

  “No.” Flynn gestured for Iris to sit. “Trust me, she enjoys a grand exit.”

  “Flynn!” She took a seat.

  Flynn raked a hand through his hair. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m extremely snarky where she’s concerned. But that woman you just met is not the woman I was married to, I can assure you. She showed more genuine emotion with you in five minutes than she did with me in the entire year we were married.”

  “You were only married a year?”

  “And we only cohabitated for eight months and got along for maybe half that.”

  “Huh. I... You never talk about her.”

  “It wasn’t a happy time. You’ve never asked about her.”

  “I know. I was...” Afraid to hear about how amazing she was, afraid to compare herself to the woman who managed to capture Flynn Ramsey’s heart. Now she found herself wildly curious.

  “You can ask me anything.”

  “All right, well, I’m wondering what could possibly go wrong in a year? You were practically on your honeymoon.”

  “A doctor at the research clinic where she worked.”

  “What?”

  “You asked what could go wrong. He was the main reason it went wrong. She fell in love with someone else.”

  “Wow.”

  “We’d only been dating a few months when we got married. I was in med school, stressed and tired. Both of us were looking for a connection. We could never seem to find the time to be together. Neither of us felt comfortable about living together. One day, she jokingly suggested we get married. It didn’t seem that unusual. I mean, medical school is so consuming. There’s no life outside of it and you feel like it will never end. The next thing I knew we were at the courthouse going through with it. It was a huge mistake and I knew it right away, even before she cheated. We fought all the time. I mean, I think she cheated because she found out...”

  “What? Did you cheat, too?”

  “Iris, no.” He sat back, looking slightly offended.

  “Sorry, you’ve just always...”

  “I know, but I’m not a cheater. Sonya wanted to have a baby. Right away. And I...didn’t. Having a family is not something I’ve ever been one hundred percent positive about. The more she pushed for it, the less inclined I felt. And I certainly didn’t want to start having babies while I was in medical school. So she found someone else who would give her that.”

  Flynn didn’t want kids? That wall she’d constructed between them, the one that had already started cracking when he’d kissed her last night, weakened a bit more. “That must have been difficult.”

  “The cheating hurt, and the disappointment of a failed marriage was tough on me. Especially after my parents’ nightmarish relationship. But I’m over it.”

  “Then why do you still seem angry?”

  “It’s more that I don’t trust her. She got nasty at the end. Once she found out I was leaving, she wanted to go to counseling and try to work it out. After I refused, she got me disqualified from a residency program that I really wanted.”

  Iris had assumed Rankins was his first choice for his residency. “How did she do that?”

  “Her dad, also a doctor, was the head of it. But it all worked out in the end. I was able to come here, which is where I wanted to end up ultimately, anyway.”

  “I’m glad you see it that way now.”

  He shrugged a shoulder. “It’s been more than two years.”

  “And you haven’t seen her in all that time?”

  “Nope.”

  “Is she remarried?”

  “Not that I know of. Trent, the guy she cheated with, was a friend of mine. We have mutual friends. I think I would have heard.” He shrugged. “But then again, I hadn’t heard she was pregnant, so...?”

  “I wonder why she came here? What kind of favor she wanted?”

  “Whatever it is, I’m glad she didn’t ask because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to do it. Trust me, Iris, she’s not what she just appeared to be.”

  “Maybe she is, though. Maybe she’s changed. You heard her, motherhood changes people.” Iris thought about her conversation with Hazel, about how time can change people, too.

  “That would be a really, really big change. I’m sorry if that sounds bad but it’s true. Though I honestly hope so—for her sake, and her baby’s.”

  “Speaking of babies, you don’t want to have kids?”

  * * *

  FLYNN FELT A fresh surge of irritation at Sonya for forcing this subject. Although he knew it was something they’d need to discuss eventually. If this relationship was going to evolve like he hoped, Iris needed to know where he stood. Still, it was a difficult topic to broach.

  “Um, it’s... I’m not saying I don’t want kids unequivocally. I love kids. You know, I almost specialized in pediatrics. It’s just that my childhood was so awful. My parents fought all the time. And they didn’t bother to shield me or even keep me out of it. They each used me as a pawn and tried to turn me against the other. If I ever do have kids I want to be positive that I’m not going to repeat that cycle. I want to be like my grandparents. I want to be so in love that I don’t have any doubts. And the next person I marry, I’ll make sure we’re friends first.”

  Iris was staring at him with an expression so somber it made his pulse stutter.

  “What are you thinking? That I’m a terrible, selfish person? I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it, period. It would be tough with me as the dad, however, doctor’s hours and all. I just think there are a lot of ways to give to the world without pouring all your efforts into parenthood.”

  “No, I’m thinking how odd it is that this topic came up this morning with Hazel and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.”
/>
  “Tell her what—that I might not want kids? I know you’re intuitive, Iris, but that might fall within the realm of psychic,” he joked. “Because I know we’ve never had this conversation.”

  “Flynn...” She inhaled, blew out a breath and said, “I don’t want kids. Unequivocally.”

  “Oh.” Flynn exhaled a breath of his own and felt a smile slowly fall into place. How incredibly fortuitous because, if he was honest, he leaned this way himself. “I didn’t know that.”

  “No one knows, not even my family.”

  “Is that why you don’t want to get married?”

  “Yes. I’d consider marriage with someone who... With a like-minded person, but it’s easier just to avoid the topic.”

  “Clearly you are confiding in the right person. I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of, by the way. I feel it should be a choice more people make, rather than something they just do. But can I ask why?”

  “My childhood was...rough, too. And I’m not talking about the bullying that came later. That, I could handle.”

  “You’re talking about your nine surgeries in ten years. And the pain, the medication, side effects, physical therapy and all the ensuing struggles that come along with them.”

  Surprise flickered across her face.

  “Your mom mentioned it last night. Not all those details, but I can surmise. I have a patient right now struggling in exactly those ways.”

  Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and Flynn wanted to hold her and comfort her and help heal all the residual damage that he knew remained.

  “I don’t want to bring a child into this world and watch them struggle the way I did. Because I would know what they were feeling, and it would kill me. I admit that just because I had problems it doesn’t mean my child would. But, honestly, I don’t want to take that risk, and if I don’t want motherhood unconditionally, I don’t think I should want it at all.”

  “I understand.” And he did. It seemed overwhelming, the idea of being solely responsible for a tiny human life.

  “I got better, obviously, but I’ve always had issues. It didn’t help growing up in a family like mine that’s full of people successful at everything they tried. I was clumsy and uncoordinated. I’m sure you can imagine that when I did try, I only ended up embarrassing myself. In fact, I’m still awkward.”