If Only For One Night

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  I blinked. “Really? That’s your answer?”

  She nodded and we laughed. Together. The way we always did.

  But I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her telling her friends about me. Because I knew how big that was. I knew because it had taken a lot for me to tell Lamar. “I’m glad you told your friends about me. Just means that I’m important to you.”

  She shifted her body so that she faced me completely. But she had moved back a little as if she didn’t trust her lips either. She said, “You are important to me, Blu. You’ve been such a fantastic friend. This weekend would have never happened without you.”

  I shook my head, though I kept my eyes locked with hers. “I doubt that. The way you are, you would have found a way. But,” I continued because I felt her protest coming, “I am so glad that I was able to be there for you.”

  “It was a big risk for you to take. I mean, we’d just met.”

  “Not that big. I told you, I’d done my research. I knew that Black Girls Magic was something that our foundation would want to support.”

  “Tell me about the foundation.”

  She smiled, but it was her words that made me frown a little. It was a simple question, but I wasn’t sure how to answer. I never wanted Angelique to feel anything but wonderful about what Monica’s family’s foundation had done. So, I just said, “We haven’t been as active as we’d been in the past.”

  “Why not?”

  “Well,” it was hard to keep the hesitation out of my voice, “the CEO has kinda stepped aside. But with what we’ve done with you, I think we’ll be moving back into finding good causes.”

  She nodded, though her stare revealed that her instinct told her that I wasn’t sharing everything. But she left it there…or at least I thought she had until she said, “I’d really like to thank your board one day. Do you think that might be possible?”

  No! But I told her, “Maybe.”

  And then, because I wanted to change the subject, I reached for her. She hesitated for just a moment, then moved closer before she twisted around and leaned against me. I wrapped my arms around her, closed my eyes, and didn’t even try to hold my sigh inside. All I did was imagine what it would be like to hold her like this forever.

  And then, I wondered…could one man be in love with two women at one time?

  For the rest of the time that we sat out there, sipping wine, looking out onto the ocean, I pondered that question and searched in my heart for the answer.

  CHAPTER 19

  Angelique

  I didn’t realize it until Blu rolled his car into the driveway of the Westin. I didn’t realize that I’d held my breath for the entire drive back. It was amazing that I hadn’t fainted since we’d been driving for an hour.

  But when he finally brought the car to a stop, I breathed. Then, I filled my lungs with more air before I turned and faced him. “I don’t know what to say about tonight.”

  He grinned. “You’ve said it already. And I told you that you were welcome.”

  “You made this night so special for me.”

  “That’s because that’s what you are.”

  I nodded, then smiled, and I was so glad that we were in a convertible in front of the hotel that even at this late hour had too many people outside for me to lean over and kiss him. Because that was what I wanted to do so badly.

  I slipped his jacket from my shoulders and handed it to him just as the valet came over to open the door for me. But then, Blu shouted out, “I got that, bruh,” and the valet smiled and stepped back.

  Blu jumped out, came around to my side, then taking my hand, he helped me to stand.

  “Thank you, Blu. And goodnight.”

  “First, you really got to stop thanking me. And second, I’m walking you up.”

  “Oh no, that’s not necessary at all.”

  He shook his head. “Now, I done already told you about my dad. If he ever found out that I’d let a woman walk to her room alone….” He made a slicing motion with his hand across his neck, making me laugh once again.

  To the valet, he said, “The keys are in the ignition, but I’ll be right back. Just park it right there,” Blu pointed to the curb, “and give me five.” Then, he turned toward the hotel and led me inside.

  This night was really going to have to end because I was doing that non-breathing thing again. It was just impossible to do anything else except hold my breath when he was so close to me. And now, his hand was on the small of my back as we walked to the elevator. I was fully clothed, but I might as well have been naked the way his simple touch set me on fire.

  We didn’t say a word as we walked through the lobby and I was grateful that an elevator was waiting because as much as I love being with Blu, tonight needed to end. We stepped into the elevator and the silence stayed between us. All I had in me was enough to press the button for the 8th floor. When the doors closed, I glanced at Blu, but just as quickly, I lowered my eyes and bit my lip to stifle my giggle. Why did I feel like I was sixteen? It was nervous energy, of that, I was sure. But there was nothing to be nervous about.

  The ride went on forever, but finally, the doors parted, I stepped out, but then stopped and turned so quickly, Blu bumped into me. We both laughed like he felt like he was sixteen, too, and it took us a moment to straighten up.

  “I was just going to say that you can stop here. You don't have to walk me all the way down the hall.”

  “My father, remember?” And then, he made that slicing motion across his neck once again.

  “Okay,” I said. At least he had cut the tension from the air and I was able to walk and breathe at the same time. When we got to room 808, I paused and as I lifted my key from my purse, I had a thought — suppose Preston was inside? Suppose he’d finished with his meeting and decided to meet me here? He did say that he wanted to spend Sunday all day in the hotel. Maybe…maybe…maybe….

  My heart was beating with hope when I opened the door, but right away that glimmer was gone. The lights were out, so unless my husband was sitting in the dark, he hadn’t come. He probably wasn’t even home yet. I wasn’t even a minuscule thought to him.

  The sadness of that fact rushed over me, washing away the best hours of this night. I was alone, that was the truth and that truth was so hard to bear.

  When I turned to face Blu, I blinked to hold back my emotions. I wasn’t going to cry. I didn’t want his pity. But by the time I looked up at him, the first tear trickled from my eye.

  “Oh,” was all he said before he stepped into the room, closed the door and pulled me into his arms.

  And then, I sobbed. I fell right into Blu’s chest and cried.

  I really didn’t know why I cried. I’d been so used to Preston doing this to me. But this one hurt…or maybe, it wasn’t this one. Maybe it was just that this one was on top of the Woman on the Move award, and that disappointment had been on top of something else, another time when he’d ripped out my heart.

  Blu didn’t say a word, he just held me and it took some minutes for me to back it up and get myself together. I leaned against the wall, looked down and tried to wipe my tears away. “I’m so sorry.”

  “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

  My eyes were still lowered because I didn’t want to look at him. “No. After all you did for me tonight and I come back here and….” I shook my head because if I said anymore, I’d start all over again. “Please. Just go.”

  “I don’t want to leave you.”

  “No, I’ll be all right.” I sniffed.

  “No, Angelique.” It was the way he said my name that made my eyes rise slowly. And when my eyes met his, they locked. But it was his lips that fascinated me. Because they were right there. Right there, when he repeated, “I don’t want to leave you.” It was his turn to shake his head. “Not tonight.”

  And then, with the most imperceptible of movements (I wasn’t sure if he moved or if I was the one), his lips touched mine. It was easy enough, since just
inches had separated us. I moaned as I pressed back again into the wall and Blu pressed into me.

  His kiss was so gentle and there was a point, I was sure that we could have stepped back and away like we’d done before. But then, our mouths opened and our tongues met and we were one.

  His desire for me was so apparent and I wanted to show him mine. My hands explored him as his hands traveled a journey over me and when his tongue broke away from mine and slipped to my neck, I groaned. Because it felt so good. But I groaned because I wanted his lips back.

  And so, I found him and kissed him again as he pulled me from the wall, then without leaving my lips, lifted me into his arms. He carried me to the bed and with the gentility of a gentle man, he laid me down. I opened my eyes to find him hovering over me, staring. He spoke no words, at least not with his lips. But with his eyes, he asked. And I answered by moving my lips to his once more.

  When he laid his body on top of mine, it was as if we were a perfect fit, like he was the missing piece to the puzzle that was my life. Like we were supposed to be.

  I guess that was why I gave no more thought to anything beyond the two of us and this moment. All I had to give, I gave to Blu. And with my tongue, I gave him all the permission he needed to proceed.

  He accepted my offer and kissed me with a fervor that he hadn’t before. As our tongues danced, his hands made their way around to my back and I lifted up to give him access. He eased the zipper on my gown down, down, down, but then, he paused and pulled away from me.

  He slipped the gown from my shoulders, but in the slowest of motions, gliding the straps across my skin. I stared back at him wondering if he were savoring this time or giving me a chance to change my mind.

  I sat up, tugged the gown to my waist, then leaving him on the bed, I stood and wiggled until the dress slipped over my hips, then floated to my ankles. He gasped as I stepped free of the gown, his eyes bright with appreciation as he drank in my copper-colored bra and matching panties that were almost the same tone as my skin.

  After a moment, he stood. “You. Are. Beautiful.” His hands trembled a bit when with just his finger, he touched the lace on my bra. No, he didn’t touch it, he caressed it, and through it, he caressed me. His finger was a feather as traced it along my skin, following the edges of my bra and sending a surge of sensations through every part of me.

  I watched him, watching me and while his fingers moved, his eyes didn’t. He stayed steady and so sensual. Sexier than any kiss. With his feather-touch, he teased me and made me want him in ways that I never remembered wanting a man.

  His voice was husky when he said, “You are everything I ever imagined you would be.”

  I wanted to ask, had he been thinking about me? Enough to imagine this? But I never got the chance, because his lips were back to mine. And this time he devoured me as if I were his last meal. This time, he didn’t play. He unhooked my bra and I wiggled it off until my breasts were set free. Then, he did the same to my panties and I shimmied until they were on top of my gown.

  Only then, did he step back and stare.

  Only then, did I notice that I was the only one naked.

  I reached for his shirt, but he gently pushed my hand away. Instead, as I stood and he stared, he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it over his shoulders before he unfastened his pants — a striptease, just for me. I had no idea how his briefs and socks disappeared, but in a moment, he stood with me — naked heart to naked heart.

  It was my turn to gasp as my eyes swallowed in all of him. Swallowed in how much he wanted me.

  But then, he took my hand and led me away… from the bed.

  No! That’s what I cried inside, but no words came out because the vision that he was made me mute. All I wanted to do was see, not speak. All I wanted was to touch and never stop. But I followed him as he led me into the bathroom and to the shower stall. I tilted my head as he turned on the water. He stepped inside first, then beckoned me to come with him.

  There was no hesitation inside of me. No thoughts of my hair, no thoughts of anything except for this black man named Blu who had given me the starring role in my fantasy.

  Inside the shower stall, he pressed me against the wall and as the shower’s rain soaked my skin, Blu kissed me, then licked the droplets away, every drop from everywhere. His tongue was fire against my skin and the water that dripped down onto me did nothing to extinguish the blaze.

  I moaned, I groaned, I screamed in ecstasy, completely, spent in…what….two minutes?

  But he was not done. Twisting me around, he pressed me against the wall and then lathered my body with soap from the dispenser. It was a body massage that sent me up the stairway, right to heaven’s door. I swore I even heard angels’ bells ringing.

  By the time he took the shower head down and rinsed me, I should have been given a medal for the fact that I was still standing. His hands helped the water wash away the soap and when he replaced the shower head, I reached for the soap, my turn to give him a massage so that I could feel every part of him.

  But he pulled my hand back and away. He shook his head. “Tonight is all about you.”

  He swooped me into his arms and I was so grateful. Because what he’d done to me had made me quiver, but the words he’d just spoken, had weakened my knees.

  Outside of the stall, he wrapped me in a towel, then carried me, once again to the bed. He gave me a gentle kiss before he lifted up and moved away from me.

  “No,” I said because that was the only word I could think of.

  He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. But you know me.” And then, as if he knew where everything was in the room, he plugged in his phone.

  Before the first note played, he held himself up over me and pressed his lips to mine.

  Let me hold you tight

  If only for one night….

  Luther sang our favorite song, and we swooned together. I pressed myself against him, realizing that no matter what I did, I would never get enough of this man. My hands traveled the terrain of his skin, my desire was to feel every part of Blu. With each step of this dance, he took away my ability to breathe. I needed air, so I tried to inhale him.

  I was ready to plead, to beg, to push him off of me and get down on my knees and pray for him to take me. “Please,” I whispered in his ear.

  He granted my plea. I screamed out as he filled me up. I moaned and stayed still for a moment because I wanted to keep this feeling with me forever.

  And then.

  With the part that made him a man, he gave praise to me as a woman.

  “Open your eyes,” he whispered.

  And I was surprised when I was able to do so. And I was surprised at the way staring at him while he filled me so was amazingly sexy.

  We danced and danced and danced, until we began to sing.

  Luther tried to sing with us….

  Till the early dawn

  Warms up to the sun

  But we didn’t dance to Luther’s rhythm anymore. We had our own, our bodies, our movements, our all, in sync.

  So I wasn’t surprised when I called out to my creator at the same time that Blu did. And I wasn’t surprised that we walked through that heavenly door — together.

  It would be so nice…if only for one night.

  For a moment, we just laid there as if we both were trying to figure out if the beauty of what just happened was real. And once we realized it was, Blu rolled away and held me — my back to his front, pressed together as if our bodies wanted to be one for real, one forever.

  And Luther sang and sang and sang.

  “I wish….” Blu began, but then he stopped.

  I smiled. Because I wished, too.

  And then, he fulfilled my dreams when he said, “I wish that you were mine.”

  We laid in the stillness, his words wrapping around me like the duvet Blu pulled up over us. And then held me as if his wish would come true. I closed my eyes and fell into a perfect sleep.

  Because now, our connection wa
s complete.

  CHAPTER 20

  Blu

  It had been a beautiful night. A beautiful night that left so many questions and I didn’t have a single answer.

  Me and Angelique.

  Where would we go from here?

  I glanced at the clock on the dashboard — 6:27. I had kissed Angelique goodbye exactly thirty-seven minutes ago after I had finally found the fortitude to peel myself away. That was the way I felt. Like I was the skin that had been peeled away, but the fruit, the good part, had been left in that hotel room.

  What had I done?

  I slowed my car as I approached the street to my house, but at the last second, instead of making the right turn, I pressed the accelerator and continued straight. I needed a few more moments. I had time — this was Sunday morning, and Monica nor the kids would be up this early.

  Swerving my car to the edge of the curb, I stopped, turned off the ignition, then leaned back and closed my eyes.

  I rolled over it all in my mind. It was a set-up. Everything had been a set-up that led to the moment of last night. Everything — from playing Words With Friends, to our chats, to sharing coffee, dinner, and then, the best time, sinking our feet together in the sand last night.

  It had been a set-up that could only have one logical conclusion.

  Only that had never been my plan. Yes, I was so attracted to Angelique, from the very beginning, loving her mind before I’d even seen her body. But it was the fact that we could never be that made me think we’d be safe. Made me think that we could go to the edge. We could flirt, hang out together and even share a kiss, though not too often. But it would never go further than that.

  Only it did. Because when she walked into that hotel room and didn’t see her husband, her heart cracked and all I wanted to do was put it back together. Not that she had told me that was what happened when she opened that door. But I knew…because we were that connected.