Blood and Clay

by Dulcinea Norton-Smith

  “Your brother was clearly a wicked drunk and a moonstruck fool. He faces the gallows with your mother. Twill be a service to him to put him out of his suffering. Now Miss Device it is time for your trial. Are you ready to give testimony?”

  Chapter Twenty Six

  I nodded at Mr Nowell. A sense of calm had settled on me now. It was all going to be ok. Nettie was here, my beloved Nettie. Her word had sent Mam to the gallows but it would save me. Nettie could tell them that I wasn’t like Mam and Gran and I could go home. I don’t know what too, no family but Nettie left, but maybe I could get a job and take care of us. Maybe Nettie could go to school. I could be with my Gabe. I looked around the room hoping to see him but he wasn’t there.

  “Miss Device, I am now going to question you and then hear testimony from your sister. I trust that you will not act as your mother did. If you do you will be removed from this room. Do you understand?”

  “Aye Sir. I do.”

  I nodded until my head started to hurt and looked eagerly at him, ready to tell my story, ready to get out of Lancaster Gaol.

  “When you next speak you speak in front of these good men and women and under the eyes of God. You speak the truth. Can you do that Miss Device?”

  “Aye Sir, I will tell the truth.”

  “Then let us make a start. You are charged with causing a Mr Jon Law to be lamed by witchcraft; that you commanded your spirit familiar, a black dog, to lame him and by such means have cause his face and half of his body to no longer work. Is this so?”

  “Aye Sir I believe it is no so. I did no commanding though. I mean, I didn’t mean to command it but I was scared and angry. If it was my fault I am truly sorry Sir. It was a mistake.”

  I spoke from the heart, hoping that my honesty and regret would shine through. I felt hopeful for the first time since I’d lamed the peddler. They had listened to Nettie about Mam. Surely they would listen to her about me.

  “Bring in Mr Law,” said Mt Nowell to Mr Potts.

  I watched as Mr Potts went to the door again. This time Mr Law came through the door, supported by his son. He shuffled and dragged one leg behind him a little, his face still drooping and scary. The crowd made a collective intake of breath then leaned forwards, pushing to get a good view. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I didn’t need to; his face was seared into my memory. I stared at my hands and focussed on my dirty, torn fingernails. I listened as Mr Nowell and Mr Law’s son spoke but I could not force myself to look up.

  “Mr Law. Alizon Device has been accused of causing this ailment to your father and confesses to the deed. What have you to say about his condition today?”

  “He isn’t never going to be right Mr Nowell Sir. He can’t walk proper, won’t be doing any trade again. Needs me to fed him, take him to the toilet. It’s affecting my work too. We are losing a lot of money because of that witch. She should be hung.”

  “That is a decision for me to make Mr Law. What else would you like to put to the court today?”

  “Jus’ that we need money. We might lose our house; landlord isn’t happy that we’ve now been paying the rent.”

  “Then this court grants you a shilling a month from the County purse until your father makes his final sleep. Mr Potts, you can show Mrs Law junior and senior out now.”

  “Thank you Sir,” said the young Mr Law.

  I waited until I heard the door close again before I looked up. My eyes were blurry with tears. The guilt was so bad it was like rats knowing at my gut. I could hardly stand it. I didn’t know if God could ever forgive what I’d done, what I must have done, even though I didn’t mean it. When I looked up the crowd were staring at me. Some of the people looked scared but most just curious, loathing. I couldn’t look at them so I turned to face Mr Nowell.

  “Miss Device. Do you have anything to say?”

  “I didn’t mean it Sir. I didn’t do anything on purpose. I was trying to run away when he fell over but I didn’t mean to hurt him. It was the dog. Mam says it’s my dog but it weren’t my dog. I don’t have a dog, but Mam says I’m a witch and it is my familiar. But I don’t want a familiar Sir. I just want to do right by people, do right by God. I’m sorry Sir. I try to be good. Nettie will tell you it’s so.”

  My words came out in a hurried blur. I don’t even know if the crowd heard what I was saying or understood what I meant. It didn’t matter though. My Nettie was here. She would tell them that I loved her, that I didn’t mean anyone harm. I looked at her but she avoided my eye. Poor Nettie, I felt so sorry for her in front of all these people. She must feel terrible shy.

  “Aye we will hear from your sister. Jennet Device, are you ready to speak of your sister Alizon Device?”

  “Aye Sir,” said Nettie. Her voice was so small. I wanted to run to her and hug her but I was held fast by my shackles and the Warden.

  “You man, help the little one onto the table so that all may see her talk.”

  The man who had let the crowd into the courtroom went to Nettie and picked her up and set her on a low table. His hands went almost around her whole waist and in her new dress she looked like a tiny doll. My heart ached for her as she stared nervously at the crowd. She played with the cuff of her sleeve as she waited for Mr Nowell to speak.

  “Now Miss Jennet. Could you tell us, in your own words, about your family?”

  “I don’t rightly know what to say Sir.” Nettie’s voice was small and nervous.

  “Would you like me to ask you questions Miss Jennet?” Roger’s voice was kindly and I was thankful for that. Little Nettie must be terrified.

  “Aye Sir. If it please you, I think that would help.”

  I stared at Nettie. She looked so different; so perfect and pretty. She would suit a better life. When we were away from here I would work every moment God sent to get a better life for her.

  “Miss Jennet. Is it true to say that your mother and grandmother, may God forgive her soul, have acted in malice and with witchcraft?”

  “Aye Sir. T'is true they did.”

  “Did they show you any kindness or care in your upbringing?”

  “No sir. They didn’t. T'wasn’t them who did my upbringing anyway. T'was our Lizzie.”

  “Alizon Device acted as a mother figure for you?”

  “Aye Sir.”

  Nettie shot a glance at me then quickly looked back at Mr Nowell. Mr Nowell nodded his approval at Nettie.

  “What deeds of your grandmother and mother’s did you witness?”

  “Sir I saw a lot when they thought I weren’t looking. Chanting, killing of animals, curses. They’d even cut their own hand to get blood for their spells. They were evil Sir and they beat me.”

  I stared at Nettie in surprise. A tear rolled down her cheek and the crowd leant in further. Coos and tuts were going around the crowd. “Poor little angel” I heard one woman whispering. The crowd were looking at me uncertainly now. Nettie’s words were changing them and they were looking at me with more pity than hate. I looked at Nettie again and began to feel even worse. Why had I never noticed? I thought that their beatings of me had spared her. Why had she never told me? Why had there never been any bruises? Poor Nettie.

  “Did they treat your sister Alizon in the same way Miss Jennet?”

  Roger’s voice was still quiet and kind but now seemed probing. He looked expectant. Did he know what was coming? Well he must; he must have talked to Nettie already.

  “No she was their favourite, one of them. They never touched her. Never a harsh word to precious Lizzie.”

  I gawped at Nettie. How could she think that? How could she be saying that? She knew that they beat me. She couldn’t really think that I was their favourite. The crowd began to glare at me again and I realised that Nettie was still talking.

  “When she came into her powers they loved her even more. She’d always been their favourite, they thought the moon and stars shone from her, then when she got her powers they thought she were even better and they never even looked at me anymore
.”

  Where was this coming from? Nettie couldn’t say these things. She was my Nettie, I was her Ali. We were sisters, best friends. I had brought her up and loved her like she was my own babe. I’d been her Mam.

  “Did Alizon ever harm you Miss Jennet?”

  “Aye. She’d beat me all the time and Mam never stopped her. They all hated me they did and Lizzie were the worst. Beat me and kicked me and spat at me regular she did.”

  Nettie’s voice was still little and soft and the crowd were leaning towards her. A few women in the crowd had started to cry. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe. I felt my tongue and throat drying as my mouth hung open. I had never beaten Nettie in my life, never a harsh word. I took regular beatings to protect her and spare her from Mam and Gran’s anger. I couldn’t work out what was going on. Had they threatened her? Why was she saying these lies?

  “Miss Jennet. Your sister Alizon claims that the laming of John Law was an accident. Is this the truth?”

  “No, t'is a lie. She planned it for weeks. She was the most evil of em was Lizzie. Worse ‘n Mam and Gran. Worse than Old Chattox. She’s evil and she planned to kill Mr Law. He’s lucky she didn’t.”

  “No!” I finally found my voice and leapt to my feet.

  “No, Nettie, why are you saying this? Are they making you lie? I love you Nettie.”

  I tried to get to Nettie but the Warden grabbed my shoulders and squeezed tightly until I felt his finger might pop through my skin. Nettie leapt from the table and ran behind Mr Nowell. She looked at the crowd then back at me with a terrified cower.

  “Save me, save me Sir,” cried Nettie.

  “Mr Potts, Miss Jennet’s new parents may take her away now.”

  A finely dressed man and woman came into the room and each put an arm around Nettie.

  “Warden take Alizon Device away. Not only has her sister given grave evidence against her but her very own grandmother told me, during questioning, that this girl was a murderer. I find her guilty and she shall hang with the rest tomorrow.”

  “No, Nettie,” I screamed.

  The crowd seemed to multiply as they stood and cheered. Mr Nowell stood to leave, refusing to look back at me no matter how much I screamed. The Warden dragged me out and I screamed Nettie’s name one more time. As I was pulled through the door Nettie looked back at me and her stare made my blood run cold. I could see none of my Nettie in her anymore. The eyes that stared back at me were cold and malicious. She looked at me with hate and then I finally gave in. My legs sagged and the Warden dragged me out of the door.

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Back in the cell Mam had taken to sitting in the corner and rocking. She muttered still but I couldn’t tell most of what she was saying. I sat in on the floor a different corner and hugged my knees. Gran’s body had gone but we didn’t know where or when it had been taken. My life spun in my head. How much of what I had thought was true had really been so? Had Mam and Gran really beaten Nettie? Just a day ago I would have believed everything Nettie told me but now I didn’t know what to believe. She had lied about me though. I had only every loved her and she had lied about me. She had the chance to save me and instead she said that I had beaten her and I was a witch like Mam. I looked at her, at Mam. She was still rocking but she stared at me now. One eye rolling and one focussed on my face.

  “So why are you here then? Did your precious Nettie Newt not save you? Didn’t she tell ‘em what a goody goody, priss you are?”

  “No. She said I was evil.”

  “Aye well you probably are. Born of evil you are with evil in your blood. You act all high ‘an mighty but you’re my lass and you are no better ‘an me lady.”

  “I try to be good.”

  “T’aint no good Lizard. God don’t want you to be good I reckon, or he wouldn’t have sent you to me and he wouldn’t have let Tibb and Ball and your black dog come to us. We are doing what God wants us to.”

  “That’s not so Mam. God loves us he does. You and Gran, you chose wrong. You chose to do bad stuff. I’ve tried so hard not to. I didn’t mean to hurt that peddler and I’ve never hurt Nettie.”

  “Aye well she didn’t save you did she?”

  “Why Mam? Why did she turn against me? Nettie loves me, I know she does.”

  “Aye well it turns out she loves a bit of power more. Didn’t you see the shadow with her?”

  “What?”

  “The shadow of Tibb. Stood in the crowd he were. Looking at her the whole time she were saying that vicious stuff about me. Like as maybe the whole time she were talking about you an’ all.”

  “No.”

  My voice came out as a whisper and suddenly her cold harsh eyes made sense. She had a hardness in her now like Gran and Mam but not so obvious; hidden in her pretty face so that no-one could see.

  “How? Why her?”

  “She’s always had promise that one. Knows when to keep quiet and look pretty. She were the one who came up with the plans to storm the gaol. Asked to stay at home she did, claimed she were scared, but she came up with more of the planning than Ma did, or me, or that old bitch Chattox. Aye she played a blinder did little Newt. Wish I’d seen it sooner. Who’d a thought that Newt was the daughter I’d been hoping for? Little bitch has damned us to death but you gotta give it to her; she’s pure evil and she’s made me proud.”

  I put my head against the wall. It was cool and it stopped the room from spinning. How could I have been so blind not to see that Nettie was more like them than me? The blind, unconditional love of a Mam had made me stupid and now I was going to hang because I had trusted her, loved her. My Nettie. I felt that Nettie was dead too. This wasn’t my Nettie. My Nettie had been sweet and loving and innocent. Tibb had taken her and made her into something else. I don’t know when he had done it but he had found a crack in our love, maybe when I was taken away, and he had found his way into her mind. Mam had started to cackle and hoot.

  “Where’s your God now Lizard? He has abandoned you just like he has the rest of us. He’s not so good anyway. I hear his voice in my mind, when I sleep, when it’s quiet, when I’m walking in the woods; all the time. He whispers things to me; bad things. I’m just doing God’s will. When them farmers slight me, call me names, take advantage, they’re bein’ evil they are. God has always wanted me to take vengeance. My curses are God’s will. He’s a vengeful God and I just do as he tells me.”

  Her rant pulled me out of my thoughts. I had lost Nettie and I was going to lose my life but I wouldn’t let her take this from me. Not my beliefs. Not my hope. I pulled my head back from the wall and looked at her.

  “That’s not true Mam. That isn’t God talking to you. That’s the Devil. God don’t whisper things in your ear; he whispers to your heart and yours is too cold and hard to let him in.”

  “Well if your Lord Almighty is so damned powerful how comes he lets me do these things then? If he wanted to stop me he would right? Well he doesn’t so it seems to me he don’t mind one bit what I’m doing’”

  I stared at Mam for a while. Though I hated it, what she said seemed true. I’d never been to church or school; never had anyone to ask these questions to. I’d thought the same things but pushed them aside.

  “He don’t want us to do those things. I don’t know why he doesn’t stop us but he don’t want us to hurt people. Maybe we have to make our own choices, to prove we deserve to go to Heaven. I don’t know. I just know you are wrong Mam.”

  “Aye, well you stupid wretch, God or no God you're no better than me for them beliefs. Sure as salt is salt you’ll be swinging right next to me tomorrow and your beliefs won’t mean a stitch.”

  I closed my eyes and lay down. She was right. No matter what my beliefs tomorrow I would be dead, just like her.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  I lay awake all night. Though my life had not been great I didn’t want to waste my last night of being alive sleeping. It was a long night. As I lay down and listened to Mam going off to sleep and starti
ng to snuffle and snore I felt a deep ache in the pit of my stomach. I had never been so afraid. It wasn’t the sharp, urgent fear that I felt when Mam or Gran flew into a rage it was different. Worse, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It hurt to breathe in and breathing out made me want to vomit. I concentrated so hard on breathing that I was almost convinced that I could just stop. Just stop breathing and die right here, quietly in the dark. I tried but it didn’t work. I hadn’t actually believed that it would but I was more aware than I had ever been of my body and every part of it.

  I felt my stomach and chest rise and fall as I took deep breaths of the musty air. I felt the cold on my skin which brought me out goosebumps and made my arms tingle at the hairs stood on end. I concentrated on my head and fingers to see if I could feel my hair or fingernails growing. I couldn’t. I listened to the sounds of the goal. The birds cawing outside of my window, an owl hooting and the far off noises of the city, the noise of the other prisoners. I made pictures in my head to go with the noises. Eventually I must have drifted to sleep because I awoke later on and realised I had been asleep for a while. It was still dark outside so, for the first time in my life, I really allowed myself to imagine a different life. I had always held back in the past as it was too painful to think of something I could never have but now I let my mind wander free. Nothing could hurt me now and living a different life for the last few hours before morning would be a relief.