Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  Felicity flushed the toilet, struggling to fasten her jeans. She hadn’t expected the light-headedness and dizziness to engulf her so quickly. She could barely stand without the cubicle spinning in slow motion around her. It was the cheap wine that had done it. She had tasted its tartness on the first sip. She shouldn’t have allowed herself to sink to such low standards as to be in such a tacky bar drinking low-grade wine. What would Maurice think?

  Sylvia could stick her friendship and lifestyle; Felicity had what she needed already. It had been a mistake getting in contact again.

  Opening the toilet cubicle door, she tried gallantly to walk in a straight line towards the sink, ignoring the subtle glances of the woman applying lipstick in the mirror beside her.

  Turning on the water tap, she looked around quizzically for the soap dispenser. It wasn’t in the least bit surprising to her that there wasn’t such a thing; the people who usually drank in such places probably hadn’t even heard of soap.

  “That one’s got hand wash, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

  Felicity turned to look at the woman beside her, who was pointing to the unoccupied sink in the corner. She looked so radiant and happy, her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes giving off warm vibes. She looked in love.

  “Thanks” Felicity mumbled, wringing her wet hands and making her way towards the far corner, not noticing the puddle of water in her path…

  The crunching sound appeared to come far in advance of the intense shooting pain in her head. The room had seemed to tumble around her for a fleeting moment, until she found herself staring open-eyed at the white toilet ceiling, her ankle throbbing and her ears ringing with a pulsating tone. She had slipped awkwardly onto her back. The coldness of the floor seeped gradually into her skin and bones and she heard the woman she had admired only moments before, screaming out for help. She tried to move, but her body failed to respond, paralysing her to the spot.

  Felicity’s last vision before the blackness engulfed her was Dan. She watched like an outsider to her own body, as he gently tried to lift her from the cold floor, his eyes full of shame. The shocked woman who had looked so much in love had thrown herself into his arms before ordering him to administer help.

  As Felicity struggled to stay focused on the sights and sounds around her as more people urgently entered the toilet to assess the commotion, she heard the woman whisper to Dan “I love you baby. You were great just then.”

  Dan’s unmistakable reply echoed in her head as she finally gave in to the darkness. “Not now Stacey. It’s not the time or the place.”

  Chapter Five

  Glenda carefully rearranged the flowers in the small vase beside Felicity’s hospital bed. Her daughter looked so peaceful sleeping. Despite the bandage around her head and slight bruising to her arms, her skin looked healthy and there had been no permanent damage.

  She hadn’t believed it when she’d received the phone call from Dan the previous night. Her heart had sunk when she’d heard that Fee had been involved in an accident. Automatically assuming he meant a road traffic accident, she’d raced to the hospital fearing the worst. Upon arriving, she couldn’t discern whether she was more shocked by the news that Fee was unconscious or upon hearing that her daughter had been out drinking socially with old friends. Felicity, in The Kings Head pub? With Sylvia? It had taken a moment for the information to register with her. Since when had Fee began drinking in the town’s local pub and since when had she reacquainted herself with Sylvia?

  Dan was more of a problem. Glenda hadn’t realised that the brunette woman by his side, who had aided Felicity in the womens’ loo, was also his girlfriend. She had thought that his cool, aloof behaviour towards the woman in front of doctors, had been odd. It was only when the woman had grabbed his hand, that she’d made the connection. It wasn’t in her nature to cause a commotion but she’d been furious with Dan, frantically giving him daggers whilst his girlfriend wasn’t looking.

  The body language between the pair of them, and some gentle probing from Glenda, had revealed to her that they’d been an item for nearly two years. At least Dan had had the good grace to look ashamed as Stacey whittled on about their relationship together. Glenda smiled through gritted teeth, realising Stacey was none the wiser of Dan’s real connection to Fee, other than her being his client.

  Felicity fluttered her eyes suddenly, catching Glenda’s attention and putting an end to her thoughts of Dan and Stacey.

  Moving closer to the bed, she gently took her daughter’s hand and pushed a stray hair from her face. “Hello, love - are you awake?”

  Felicity tried to focus her eyes as the brightness of the room danced around her. Where on earth was she?

  Slowly her mother’s worried face came into view, along with a blue floral partition curtain and metal bed frame. A familiar smell filled her nostrils; institutional food.

  “Mum, what’s going on?” Felicity asked, panicked. “Why am I in hospital?”

  Glenda hoped her sharp intake of breath didn’t shock her daughter further, but she hadn’t heard Felicity call her ´mum´ for a long time.

  She patted Felicity’s arm reassuringly. “Don’t worry yourself love, you had a bit of an accident that’s all. You slipped over in the pub the other night and banged your head. Doctors said there’s no permanent damage so you´ll be ok.”

  Felicity felt herself sink further into the hard mattress beneath as her mind recalled events. A sickening realisation dawned upon her as she pictured Dan’s face and the last words she had heard spoken from the attractive woman beside him. Dan had a partner.

  “Dan’s got a girlfriend. I saw them together” Felicity blurted out, trying to sit up straight. Her head felt heavy and the sickness doubled in intensity with her efforts.

  “I think I’m going to be sick. Can you get me a bowl?”

  Glenda quickly passed Felicity the cardboard sick bowl she had been provided with, just in time as her daughter heaved heavily into it. Glenda watched, torn, knowing that the tears prickling in Fee’s eyes were far more than just tears of illness; they were for Dan and his deceit. Glenda rubbed Felicity’s back as a nurse disposed of the sick bowl.

  Felicity leaned back against her pillow and looked at her mother. “You don’t look surprised at what I said about Dan. I thought you would be, considering you were the one who thought he was so perfect for me.”

  Glenda shifted uncomfortably; she knew Fee always thought she’d made wrong choices as a mother. Now her daughter was once again going to prove her correct. Dan wasn’t the right person for Fee. She deserved so much better than someone dishonest and two timing.

  “Well to be frank, love, I also saw the pair of them together, here at the hospital when they brought you in. Dan was the one who called me. You should have seen him with her - trying his best to brush her off, he was.”

  Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. Dan may not have been Mr Ideal, but he was her shining light in her bleak life. He’d seemed to understand her even though they never really had in-depth conversations. It made her feel ill to think that he’d been going from her bed to his girlfriends. All those times they laughed and joked, she couldn’t help thinking of him sharing the same moments with his girlfriend. What a fool she’d been taken for. What hurt the most was that she’d actually allowed him to worm his way partially into her heart. Why else would she be feeling so sick and worthless otherwise?

  Glenda watched helplessly as her daughter’s face crumbled in a rare display of emotion. Tears spilled freely from Felicity’s eyes as her shoulders racked with sobs.

  “Why me, Mum? Was what I went through with James not enough? Why can’t I just find someone to be happy with?”

  Glenda instantly reached forward and hugged her daughter tightly. It was like being with the Fee she had always known, until the cold and distant Fee had taken her place. Her daughter was back. As much as it pained her to see Fee in distress, it was also heart-warming to know she was capable of emotion. It had been too lon
g since she’d seen Felicity show any real feeling about life.

  “Love, you are a beautiful, independent woman and any man that doesn’t appreciate your true self isn’t worth the ground you walk on. You’ll find your special someone soon. Forget Dan. He’s not worth your tears. Now ship-shape yourself because Maurice has been trying to get hold of you for the past thirty-six hours. It’s about time you called him to let him know what’s going on.”

  At the mention of Maurice’s name, Felicity wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

  “Did you not speak to him and let him know I was in hospital?” she asked her mother, panicked. Surely Glenda knew how important it would be that Maurice knew she was out of action and not purposely avoiding work or his calls.

  Glenda felt her face redden as her daughter stared at her wide-eyed. She suddenly felt ashamed that she hadn’t taken the initiative to answer Maurice’s calls and explain Fee’s whereabouts. But she was scared of how her daughter would react. Not once in the years that Felicity had worked for Maurice, had she introduced Glenda. She had been under the impression that Fee had purposely kept her family and work life separate for fear of Maurice judging her ‘lowly’ and humble beginnings. In essence, she knew that Fee was embarrassed of her. She didn’t want to inconvenience her daughter further by speaking to Maurice and ruining things for her.

  “Well, love, I didn’t really think it was my place to get involved in your work. I know you’re very particular about Maurice, so I thought it best that you be the one to talk to him when you felt better.”

  Felicity stared incredulously at her mother. Maurice would no doubt be in an absolute fury with her for not knowing her whereabouts. It was especially bad timing given that his trip to Asia would be in less than twenty four hours and she as his right-hand person wasn’t there to assist in his absence. It was one more drama to add to her long list. Was there nobody she could rely on to do things properly for her?

  “Look, forget it, it’s fine. I’ll call him now and sort things so he knows the situation. Let’s just hope I’m not already fired.”

  “Fired?” Glenda repeated in a shocked tone. “I should bloody hope not given all the hours you’ve committed yourself working for that man. He should think himself lucky to have a person like you” she said heatedly.

  Felicity looked at her mother in surprise. Glenda didn’t often voice opinions when it came to her working life. She usually dare not give any thoughts on work matters in case Fee challenged her. For the first time in a long time, Felicity felt a surge of love and connection towards her mother. She was right, she had given far too much of herself to Maurice over the past six years to be fired for something that wasn’t even within her control. On reflection, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a day’s sick leave or even holiday time. What on earth had she been doing with herself for the past six years aside from work?

  The reality hit her hard as she looked into her mother’s soft and gentle face. She had been running away from herself and her life. Running away from the pain that James had caused her and desperately trying to escape from the heartbreak and trauma. But mostly from the guilt.

  “You’re right, Mum, Maurice can’t fire me. I have given too much to that company and him to be pushed aside.” Felicity reached across to her handbag resting on the bedside shelf. “I’ll call him now and let’s see what he says.”

  Glenda waited patiently by the window looking onto the bleak hospital courtyard, devoid of any vegetation except paving slabs. She couldn’t hear Felicity clearly but her daughter’s face spoke volumes. She looked angry and frustrated as she snapped her mobile phone closed. Clearly, her conversation with Maurice hadn’t been plain sailing.

  Walking back towards Fee’s partitioned bed, she wondered why she felt such a relief at her daughter’s reaction. Perhaps it was the beginning of Felicity finally understanding that her work wasn’t everything. And that money and success certainly aren’t the keys to happiness.

  “Well, I’m totally astounded at Maurice” Felicity began heatedly. “Can you believe that he had the audacity to suggest that I go to the office this afternoon to make up for my absence yesterday!”

  Glenda raised her eyebrows, knowing Fee’s comment didn’t need a retort.

  “He didn’t even ask how I was! All he was concerned about was making sure I would be around later today to deal with the Lavern Trust.” Felicity shook her head in disbelief. Maurice often infuriated her on a daily basis in a work relationship sense, but she’d expected him to be ever so slightly more understanding given the circumstances. He wasn’t the warmest of people; in fact he was rather narcissistic in some senses, but surely as his right hand person, he felt the smallest ounce of concern for her? On the contrary, it appeared not to be the case.

  “The nurse told me the doctor will be around soon, to give you a final once-over. Perhaps you´ll be discharged later this morning, then at least you can work from home if you need to.” Glenda suggested ruefully.

  Felicity looked hard at her mother, knowing that she’d only said what she thought would make her daughter happy.

  “Actually Mum, even if I do get discharged, I’m not spending today working. I have other things I want to get sorted. Maurice will just have to do without me.”

  Felicity chose to ignore the shocked expression that flashed across her mother’s face. She knew she was acting out of character, but it was necessary. Her head felt fuzzy and confused and yet her mind only wanted to focus on Dan. Not Maurice or work. Not even the fact she’d spent so long running away from her past. Nor that her fruitless attempt at being more social had ended in drama and disaster. Dan was her priority.

  Chapter Six

  Sylvia looked discreetly at her watch as she daubed a thin layer of foundation against her clients cheek. It had been over twenty-four hours since she had heard any news on Fee and she was beginning to feel guilty. She shouldn’t have listened to Dan’s insistence that Fee had received nothing more than a small bang on the head. Her friend could potentially still be unconscious. Anxiety niggled at the base of her stomach as she reached to pick up a blending brush.

  She had sensed immediately from the moment she’d entered the Ladies toilets the previous night to check the commotion, that Dan and Fee had more connection that just client relationship. You only had to look at Dan’s awkward body language as he held Fee’s hand and his nervous demeanour, to pick up something so obvious. Yet the slightly dumb girlfriend by his side had failed to suspect anything. Had the situation not been serious, she would have found the scenario highly amusing.

  The ambulance journey had seen the three of them huddled alongside Felicity, with Dan making an emergency call to Glenda. It was only once they got to the hospital and Fee was whizzed off to be checked over that Dan had insisted Sylvia go home. Knowing Glenda was on her way and Dan was evidently more to Fee than her gardener, she had felt it wasn’t so much her place to stay and interfere. After all, Dan had taken her mobile details and assured her he’d keep her updated.

  He still hadn’t responded to her text.

  Reaching towards her large make-up up box for a suitable eyebrow pencil, Sylvia thought of Phillip. He hadn’t been in contact for over three days. Despite working in the same building she’d managed to avoid bumping into him. Her last conversation with him about him needing to show a little more commitment to the relationship, had seemed to fall on deaf ears. She was beginning to realise why the successful presenter had failed to have a serious relationship before her. He was too wrapped up within himself and his career.

  Strangely, his lack of communication hadn’t upset or needled her. She’d suspected he’d act in this manner, retreating and sulking like a child, until she made the effort to make amends. Except this time she no longer had the enthusiasm or energy. Her six month relationship with him had clearly run its course. She didn’t care that her friends and relatives would deem her mad for giving up on the man the entire nation had seemed to fall in love with... She w
anted someone to love her unconditionally. Not someone who expected her to be grateful for being in his life, however big the role she played.

  Concentrating carefully, she dipped her blusher brush into a pot of loose rose pink powder. Her client didn’t have the healthiest of complexions – it was imperative she recreated a dewy, sun blushed look for the acting role the young woman would soon be undertaking.

  Her phone beeped, catching her off guard and causing her to dab slightly too hard.

  “Sorry, would you excuse me a moment.” Sylvia set down her working tools and walked to the shelf where her mobile was. Reading the text, she felt a wave of relief. Dan had called the hospital and been informed Felicity was conscious with no lasting damage. She’d be discharged later in the day. Hastily typing a rushed response, she replaced her mobile and turned her attention back towards her client.

  Felicity leaned heavily against the doorframe of her cottage as her mother scrambled for the door key. She wanted nothing more than to lie on her sofa and allow herself to relax into her thoughts. Alone. Except Glenda wouldn’t hear of it.

  “This poxy key keeps getting jammed” Glenda said exasperated, wriggling the key in the shiny gold lock frustratedly.

  “Let me have a go.”

  Fanning her mother’s hand aside, Fee took the key and expertly turned it with one swift movement, opening the door.

  “Well you must have the magic touch” Glenda joked, waiting for her daughter to step inside before her.

  Felicity winced. Dan had said the very same thing after a particularly heated rendezvous not a month previous.

  “Have you heard from Sylvia at all, love?” Glenda asked, bending down to pick up the small pile of post that had accumulated itself inside the doorway.

  Felicity pushed past her and headed towards the living room. She really wasn’t in the mood to talk about anything. Her head felt heavy again and her heart even more so.