Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  Caught offguard, Felicity felt herself fluster. He was so much like James it was unreal. He looked at her quizzically, waiting for her response and she struggled to find something to say.

  “Are you a mute?” he asked grinning.

  Felicity laughed despite herself. “Sorry - you just remind me of someone I know. I’m also not from here, so I haven’t a clue where you need to go” she said apologetically, catching sight of the name Aidan scribbled across his coffee cup.

  He smiled again. “Well I kind of gathered that from the accent you have yourself there. So you’re a Brit, huh?”

  “Yes, from London actually. I’m here visiting.” Felicity answered, noticing he was tapping the side of his coffee cup mindlessly with his thumb. The exact same habit James had driven her to despair with.

  “Nice. I’ve always wanted to visit London. It’s on my bucket list” he joked, setting down his coffee cup next to hers.

  “I’m Aidan by the way. Originally from Perth but here in Sydney looking for work.” He gestured to the seat in front of her. “Do you mind if I join you?”

  “Erm, I was just finishing up.” Felicity said awkwardly, trying not to show her panic as her new admirer began to shrug off his coat.

  “Right, I see. So I guess that’s a no then” Aidan said in surprise, looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

  Felicity stood up, picking up her jacket and bag. “Sorry, but I have to go. It was nice to meet you though. I hope you find where you’re looking for.”

  “Sure, no worries. Have fun visiting.” Ignoring Aidan’s amused expression, Felicity gave him a small smile and made her way out of the coffee shop in relief.

  Letting the cool breeze blow through her hair, she waited for her beating heart to return to normal. Her first day in Sydney and fate had dealt her a blow in the form of a James lookalike. Frustrated at herself for feeling so anxious and reminiscing old emotions, she picked up her pace and headed towards the huge beacon of white peaking rooftops in the distance. The Sydney Opera House.

  By the time she reached the water’s edge and the hustle of the harbour with its many ferries and tourists, she felt calmer. Walking along the footpath, with the magnificent harbour bridge to her right and the gentle waves of the sparkling blue water lulling her into a peaceful sense, she spotted a vacant bench facing out towards the views and sat down.

  Australia had been the one country that James had wanted to visit during their relationship. She wondered if subconsciously that had played its part in her choosing to be there. Despite the relationship breakdown being six years previous, her emotions still felt raw. The experience had left her with a bitter attitude towards relationships and men. The one man she had allowed so close and given herself to, in every sense of the word, had betrayed not only her trust but her love.

  Felicity thought back to the carefree eighteen-year-old she had been when she’d met twenty-five-year-old James in her local pub. He’d recognised her instantly as the secretary who worked in the finance department of the large London corporate they coincidentally both worked for. Being so young and attractive, she was used to cheesy chat-up lines and men who wouldn’t take no for an answer. But James had been different.

  She didn’t fancy him with his messy hair and strange dress sense and she hadn’t given the brief meeting a passing thought. Yet from the very next working day, he had made it his priority to walk past her desk at least once an hour. Within a week, she was showered with shop bought coffees and chocolate bars. Accepting his invite to lunch and spending a full hour in his company, she knew that life would never be the same again. James had stolen her heart.

  And over the next seven years, had repeatedly crushed it.

  The seagulls squawking overhead made Felicity look up toward the sky and harbour bridge. It was a lot bigger and taller than she’d expected. She’d been intrigued to see flyers in her hotel lobby area of organised climbs up the outside of the bridge. She’d never dreamed of doing anything so daring; yet as she looked at the bridge she felt a thrill at the thought of climbing it.

  “G’day. You again. You must be following me.”

  Squinting against the early afternoon sunrays, Felicity looked at the familiar person approaching her and smiled.

  “Aidan. Hello again.”

  Grinning widely and displaying his crooked teeth, Aidan gestured to the vacant seat beside her.

  “I know you’re probably about to leave, but would you mind if I joined you?”

  Felicity shifted uncomfortably. He must have been following her. She hesitated.

  “Look, no worries. I just thought I’d take five minutes out to chat with you before I continue on my travels. I discovered Moozo’s restaurant is just behind the Opera House.” Holding his hands up apologetically he gave a small nod in her direction.

  “It was nice to see you again. Enjoy your holidays” he said, hoisting his backpack onto his shoulder.

  Felicity looked at his messy hair and felt herself smile. So what if he looked like James? He wasn’t James and he seemed nice enough.

  “Wait. I didn’t say you couldn’t join me. Have a seat.” She patted the spare bench next to her.

  Aidan looked around in surprise and smiled.

  “Great” he said, offloading his backpack again and sitting down. “You looked for a moment there like you were about to give me an ear bashing for even speaking to you.”

  Felicity laughed. “It was because I thought you’d followed me, but obviously not if the place you’re looking for is nearby.”

  Aidan pointed to a large half visible waterfront restaurant in the distance. Felicity could just about make out the second half of the name ´Moozo’.

  “That’s the place there. I’m a trained chef, you see. I was going to find out if they have any positions going. It’s got a great reputation.”

  “Well good luck with that. You’re bound to find something here in the city. There’s certainly enough restaurants.” Felicity replied.

  Aidan nodded in agreement. “Very true. So tell me Miss London, what brings a Brit like yourself to the Big smoke?”

  Felicity’s smiled faded.

  If only she knew the answer to his question.

  Chapter Ten

  Bill rolled over onto his side, allowing the duvet to slip away from his body. Glenda discreetly admired his toned physique. For a man of fifty seven, he certainly kept himself well. His muscular legs could belong to somebody half his age. Carefully fishing under the duvet to readjust her negligee, Glenda considered how lucky she was to have found someone so kind.

  She hadn’t imagined a man could make her feel so good, especially as she’d given up all hope of finding love again. And yet here she was, behaving like a love-sick teenager for the past two weeks. Bill had lit a fire in her that she had thought had burned out long ago.

  “I was thinking we could try that new Thai restaurant later on the Roman Road?” Bill said from the edge of the bed as he rolled black socks onto his feet.

  “That would be lovely. I’ve never tried Thai food” Glenda replied getting out of the bed.

  Bill stopped what he was doing to glance at her in surprise.

  “Really? Well I reckon you’ll love it. I’ll book us a table for eight o’clock.”

  Glenda smiled self-consciously at him, aware that her negligee was transparent in the light of day.

  Making her way quickly into the bathroom, she was relieved to see her new tinted moisturiser had made a slight difference to her palid make-up free complexion. At least she didn’t look her usual deathly self, first thing in the morning. It had taken reading all of Fee’s old fashion magazines and going through her daughter’s extensive beauty collection to find a few ways to enhance herself.

  She was a fifty-three-year-old woman with sagging skin, bat wings, copious cellulite and droopy boobs. What Bill saw in her was beyond her comprehension. The last time she’d had sex had been eleven years previous when her body had been tighter and she didn’t ha
ve to care so much about the jiggle of her extra rolls. Sex at fifty-three was a whole new experience - one she preferred to encounter with the lights firmly out. It didn’t help that Bill’s body still looked attractive. She didn’t want him seeing hers and being turned off.

  Stepping into the shower, she thought of Felicity. Aside from a few phone calls and an email, she hadn’t had much contact with her daughter but she wasn’t worried. It seemed Fee’s new friend Aidan was helping her to settle into Sydney well enough. The photo that Fee had sent accompanying her email had almost knocked her for six. Aidan was another James. Studying the image of Fee with a beer bottle in her hand and a smile on her face had been reassuring. She looked happy and relaxed, but just looking at her body language towards Aidan told Glenda all she needed to know. Fee wasn’t interested. Undoubtedly it had something to do with his current unemployment. Glenda knew her daughter well and she could hardly use the excuse that he wasn’t her ‘type’ physically.

  “Glen, I’m shooting off to work. I’ll give you a call later” Bill called out from the hallway.

  Turning off the shower and reaching for a fresh towel, Glenda wrapped it around her and quickly opened the bathroom door.

  “Ok – bye, love. Speak to you later” she replied, patting her face dry.

  Hearing the street door close, she walked into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what on earth she would wear to the Thai restaurant later in the evening. She’d already exhausted the ‘going out’ section of her wardrobe, probably because it only consisted of three dresses bought years previously and one pair of silky black trousers.

  Bill had wined and dined her more times in the last fourteen days than she’d experienced in the past decade. His generosity was astounding; no man had ever made her feel so special and worthwhile. The way he spoke to her and listened to her views and opinions made her feel not only interesting, but valued. She wanted to share her excitement and news with Felicity, but something was holding her back. Martin.

  Swallowing a lump in her throat, Glenda thought of Fee’s father Martin. The three of them had been such a tight unit and despite not having much money, Glenda had adored him. They’d met in their early teens and were married within a year. He had been her world and he was the man that had given her Fee, her greatest joy in life.

  His unexpected death when Felicity was just eleven years old had been a devastating blow to all of them. The doctors had said that the impact from the oncoming lorry had been so severe that he would have died instantly. That at least had given Glenda a small comfort. Yet, both her life and Fee’s had changed forever from that day. She sometimes wondered if it affected her daughter more than she let on. Fee never mentioned his name and rarely spoke of her childhood. Glenda understood that it held too many painful memories. Martin may not have been around, but she still held him dearly in her heart.

  The annual ritual of lighting a candle for him was still upheld and it was the only time that she saw Felicity with tears in her eyes and lost in memories. If only he had been around to see their daughter now. He would have been so proud.

  A shrill from the telephone broke into her thoughts. She jumped up and walked across the bedroom to answer.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi Glenda, it’s Zara.”

  “Hello love, how are you?” she asked, holding the receiver a little way from her ear as the children screamed loudly in the background.

  “I’m in a state actually. Steve’s had to go away on an overnight business trip and I’m alone with the kids. I wouldn’t have minded but Daisy has a bug and now both Lexi and Abbey are looking peaky also.” Zara’s voice took on a high pitched, rushed tone. She sounded close to tears.

  “Oh you poor love, you sound in a pickle. Do you want me to come over and give you a hand?”

  “Glenda you are a life saver. I didn’t know who else to turn to.” Zara sniffled and Glenda cut in quickly.

  “Now, now, no tears. I need to get ready and I’ll come straight over. Give me twenty minutes, ok?”

  Putting down the phone, Glenda rushed to get ready. Without Fee, Glenda knew Zara was likely at a loss for close female company. In the twenty odd years that she’d known her daughter’s friend, she’d come to realise that although she was overly social and kind natured, she didn’t have many people she could call upon. As an only child estranged from her foster parents, it meant that Steve and the children were all she really had. It tugged at Glenda’s heartstrings whenever she heard Zara in distress. The girl had come to be like a second daughter to her.

  Despite Daisy’s high-pitched teary tantrum, Zara heard the doorbell and hurried to answer it.

  Glenda stood on her doorstep with a striped shopper carrier bag looking surprisingly fresh-faced and happy considering the hour of day.

  “Morning, love.”

  Zara moved aside allowing Glenda to pass her into the hallway.

  “Morning, thanks so much for coming” she replied bending down to disentangle Daisy’s grip from her legs.

  Glenda looked down at Daisy’s small, red puffy face and immediately reached out her arms.

  “Come here, darling. You don’t feel well, huh?” Zara watched as Daisy’s face lit up with a sad smile and she toddled into Glenda’s embrace.

  “First time she’s smiled all morning! Lexi and Abbey are both asleep thank goodness. I gave them some medicine just to be on the safe side.”

  Carrying Daisy into the kitchen, Glenda led the way.

  “I stopped at the corner shop and bought Lucozade, rice and apples. Best thing for upset tummies. I also got us some biscuits and some sweets for when the girls are better.” Glenda said unloading the shopping bag single-handed.

  Zara switched on the kettle, observing Glenda discreetly. She looked different somehow, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  “Thanks. That’s great.”

  Taking a seat at the kitchen table, Glenda caught Zara’s eye and pointed silently at Daisy’s dead weight in her arms. Zara shook her head in amazement at the sight of her daughter’s sleeping body.

  “How did you do that?” she whispered quietly. Being up for the last four hours had undoubtedly taken its toll on Daisy, not to mention herself. She looked longingly at her sleeping child, wishing she could do the same.

  “She’s just exhausted herself, that’s all. I’ll pop her upstairs while you make the tea” Glenda replied, standing up carefully so as not to wake her.

  Busying herself with preparing breakfast and making tea, Zara savoured the few minutes of silence in the house. A sense of foreboding surfaced as Steve flashed into her mind unexpectedly. She stopped midway through buttering the toast and swallowed back tears.

  In the ten years she’d been with Steve, he’d never once had to take a business trip and certainly never an overnight one. His job as a contracted builder didn’t justify having to undertake business trips. It hadn’t helped that he’d discreetly packed clothes more suited to going out than working. She had noticed his blue check shirt, reserved for dinner dates and special occasions, was nowhere to be seen in his wardrobe.

  “That’s better, a bit of peace and quiet for you before they wake up again” Glenda said, walking into the kitchen and opening the venetian blind a little wider.

  Quickly composing herself, Zara turned around with a forced smile on her face.

  “It’s lovely to have a bit of silence and adult company, actually. I hope I didn’t drag you away from any important plans today?” Zara asked, suddenly conscious that she may have taken advantage of Glenda’s good nature.

  Glenda felt her face flush slightly. As much as she was close to Zara and they shared almost everything, she didn’t feel ready to share her new relationship with Bill just yet. Especially as her own daughter didn’t even know.

  “No, you know me – there’s always something I could be doing but nothing urgent that needs me at this hour.” Except perhaps Bill’s body, Glenda thought to herself.

  Zara noticed
Glenda’s slightly reddened cheeks but decided against pressing the matter. There was definitely something odd about her flushed appearance. She was much calmer and more relaxed than the usual Glenda that she knew.

  “Are you still on your anxiety medication Glen?” Zara asked suddenly, realising that was the likely cause of her friend’s new demeanour - a change in medication.

  Glenda looked at Zara dumbfounded as it dawned on her that she hadn’t remembered to take her pills in the last week. Come to think of it, she hadn’t experienced any of her usual symptoms and she’d never felt as good as she was feeling lately. She supressed an excited giggle. Love - the miracle cure for everything.

  “You’re smiling at me oddly” Zara said amused as she watched Glenda’s eyes light up.

  “Am I? Well it’s probably because I’ve just realised that I haven’t taken my pills in ages. I haven’t had a single symptom or attack either.”

  Placing jam and marmalade on the table, Zara brought across the rack of toast and freshly brewed tea leaves and took a seat opposite Glenda.

  “So come on, tell me what’s going on. I can sense there’s something different and given that Fee isn’t around, it doesn’t add up for you to be looking so calm and happy.”

  Glenda stared at Zara, eyes twinkling, debating whether to share her news. There was no fooling Zara. Admittedly if Bill hadn’t entered her life at the same time as Felicity had exited it, she would have been struggling to maintain her usual routine without her daughter’s presence. What the hell - if she told Zara at least she’d have someone to share her excitement with.

  “Ok, I’ll tell you - but you must promise not to say anything to Fee until I’ve had a chance to tell her myself” Glenda replied seriously.

  Zara looked at her in confusion; so there was something going on. Her intuition never failed to surprise her. Putting down her toast, she topped up her tea and listened with fascination as Glenda took a deep breath and began to share her story. At the same time, a distracting thought urged her to pay attention to her intuition and own fears about Steve.