Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  “Oh, she’ll love that. Thanks so much Glen - I really appreciate it.” Zara watched with a smile as Daisy obediently let Glenda put her coat on.

  “Right, chicken; let’s leave Mummy and auntie Fee to talk. You and I are going to have a fun day.” Daisy clapped her hands excitedly.

  Glenda caught Fee’s encouraging eye signals and knew that if she wanted to keep her daughter pacified she’d have to broach the subject of Steve. She turned to Zara again.

  “So after McDonald’s with Daisy, I’ll pick up the girls from school and aim to bring them all back around five o’clock. Is that ok? Steve’s not home from work before then is he?”

  Zara nodded gratefully. “That would be lovely Glen. No, Steve won’t be home that early. He’s working on that new site in West London, isn’t he?” She turned to Felicity excitedly. “Gives us a few hours then, doesn’t it, Fee? We should have got a bottle of wine in.”

  Felicity avoided looking at her mother as Zara’s response hit her with a sickening feeling. She forced a laugh. “Wine in your condition and we’d be in trouble!”

  Glenda took Daisy’s hand in her own and walked toward the street door, hoping that Zara hadn’t noticed her awkwardness. “Ok, we’re off. Bye, girls.”

  “Bye” Felicity and Zara said in unison. The front door slammed and Zara turned to Fee with a grin.

  “So, who is he?”

  Still recovering from the shock of Steve, Felicity took a moment to let the question sink in. “Who is who?” she asked in confusion. Her mind wasn’t allowing her to think of anything other than the image of Steve and the blonde woman. She felt uncomfortable registering Zara’s happy and blissful ignorance.

  “The man that’s making you look this radiant.”

  Distracted by Zara’s prompt, she rolled her eyes and smiled. Her friend knew her too well.

  “It’s a long story.”

  Zara rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Well we have three hours?!” She got up and opened the fridge, retrieving a foil carton of oozing, sticky chocolate ganache. “And we’ve got cake!”

  Felicity laughed warmly; in that split moment she decided there wasn’t any way in which she could hurt her friend by bringing up Steve’s whereabouts. As much as she loved Zara, she didn’t want to be the one to inflict worry or pain on her at such a delicate time. She would deal with Steve directly. She couldn’t bear the thought of spending three hours nursing her heart-broken friend. It was too much stress for Zara to bear whilst heavily pregnant.

  “Mmm, that looks scrumptious.” Felicity leaned across and stuck her finger in the ganache topping.

  “So come on, spill the beans. I want to hear all about it.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. The one person’s opinion of her situation with Owen that she’d value the most was Zara’s and yet it was painful to think about revisiting each and every detail. Despite being home for three days, Felicity still hadn’t heard anything from him. It was hard to accept that he didn’t care.

  Aside from the unusual way in which they’d left things, she had convinced herself he’d at least text her to ensure she had arrived back in London safely. Until now, she’d been good at keeping herself distracted but the time had come to face her hopes and fears once again.

  “Ok” she began, taking a deep breath. “I’ll start at the beginning….”

  Sylvia brushed a strand of damp hair away from her face as she searched in her bag for her street door key. “Bloody hell, what have I done with it” she muttered to herself in frustration.

  The door opened in front of her and she looked up in surprise. Phillip was standing before her.

  “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you home already” she said happily pushing past him into the warm and welcoming hallway.

  Shaking off her coat, she dropped her bag onto the floor and bent down to remove her heels, then suddenly became aware of the deadly silence in her apartment.

  She turned to look at Phillip and instantly registered the fury in his eyes and his clenched fists. She stopped what she was doing and stood up straight, her heart racing. Something had happened.

  “Phil, what’s going on? Are you ok?”

  Phillip looked at her in disgust and it was only then that she noticed the packed bags near his feet. She felt her breathing quickening.

  “What’s going on?” he repeated, laughing manically. “Well, I’ll tell you, shall I?” he said, sneering at her and moving closer. Sylvia took a step backwards, suddenly fearful of the raging man in front of her.

  “I’ve just had a call from my agent informing me that The Daily World is running a front page on me tomorrow.” Phillip spat the words at her. “Apparently they’ve been tipped off that my so-called girlfriend is pregnant with another man’s baby.” He stood staring at her with a look of pure hatred and repulsion.

  Sylvia felt the room spinning around her as his words echoed through her head. He knew. Phillip knew. She felt her legs turn to jelly as the realisation of what he was saying sank in. It was going to be national news, spread all over the tabloids.

  How could he have found out? Who else knew?

  Fee? No, Fee had no idea about her and Dan. How could she know?

  Caitlin. It had to be Caitlin. But how could Caitlin have discovered about Dan?

  Her thoughts were erratic and incomprehensible. Nothing was making sense. She felt her throat tightening with panic as she looked into Phillip’s eyes and saw the fury and pain there. Everything was ruined. She tried to take a deep breath but it was no use.

  She heard herself making a strange gurgling noise before everything went black.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Felicity wrapped her heavy cape coat around herself and put on her thin leather gloves. The warm sunny days of Cairns, looking out onto the sparkling aquamarine coloured Barrier Reef waters seemed a distant memory. She closed the street door behind her and walked towards her car, taking care not to slip on the icy pathway. She’d forgotten the bitter coldness that the beginning of December brought with it. She shivered, noticing her breath forming mist in front of her as she exhaled.

  It was only as she settled herself into her car that she glanced back towards her cottage and realised that the garden wasn’t an overgrown mess. Even though the grass was a blanket of crispy dew and the green bushes had lost their leaves, everything remained in line and shaped. She made a mental note to ask her mother if she’d hired a new gardener and turned on the car’s heating system to maximum.

  She’d spent the evening debating whether her surprise visit to the office was a good idea. That niggling feeling of doubt she’d had about her work hadn’t left her since returning to London. Although part of her was looking forward to seeing Maurice and hearing about his progress with his treatment, there was an underlying feeling of anxiety. The thought of returning to her heavy workload, spending twelve-hour days alongside him and being expected to live and breathe the office, wasn’t one that she relished any longer.

  As she drove toward the Docklands, a conversation she’d had with Owen replayed in her mind. They’d been sat enjoying an afternoon glass of wine, when he’d carefully asked her if her work made her soul sing. At first she hadn’t understood the question, claiming that of course she enjoyed her work - otherwise she wouldn’t have dedicated herself to it for so long. But when Owen had gone on to explain that enjoying work was one thing, but her soul purpose being fulfilled was another, she’d started to question herself.

  Listening to Owen speak about his work with volunteering, she could feel his passion and his enthusiasm. It wasn’t driven by money or ego; it was driven by his pure need to want to help and to want to give back to nature. She’d admired him for that. She hadn’t once seen him return from work and complain about his day. He truly wanted to be there.

  As much as she was good at her job and felt accomplishment at securing new clients or meeting the demands of existing ones, it didn’t satisfy her on a heart level. She couldn’t honestly say to herself that working
with Maurice gave her a complete sense of fulfilment, because it didn’t – not in the way she knew Owen’s work gave him. She’d strived to be the best second-in-command that she could possibly be, but it hadn’t brought with it the sense of worth that she’d assumed it would. Realistically, she couldn’t imagine spending the next five years doing exactly what she’d been doing up to this point. The thought filled her with dread.

  Pulling into her allocated office parking space, she recognised Maurice’s Aston Martin parked in its usual space and felt relieved that he hadn’t yet disappeared for lunch. Taking the lift to the top floor, she surveyed herself in the floor to ceiling mirrors. She looked immaculate. Just like the Felicity that Maurice was used to seeing. Given that she didn’t intend to spend the day working, she’d been tempted to wear her jeans and dress slightly more casually, but instead had opted for heavy black trousers and a silk shirt, with smart heels. It had always been one of her favourite outfits and yet today she felt rigid. A shadow of the Felicity that she’d come to know in Australia.

  The lift doors opened and she walked the few steps to the open door of the penthouse office.

  Maurice was on the phone with a client and had his back to her as she casually strode into the doorway. Selina, the temping assistant she’d employed to do basic administration jobs in her absence looked up from her position at the front desk.

  “Hello, Felicity” she blushed, clumsily trying to hide her mobile beneath a pile of filing and pushing a fashion magazine under her keyboard. She scrunched up her nose in confusion. “I thought you were on leave until January?”

  Felicity pretended she hadn’t noticed Selina’s indiscretion. The eighteen-year-old was on far lower than an average wage and she could only imagine how the fragile girl was fairing with Maurice’s mood swings and intolerance.

  “Hi, Selina” she smiled warmly at the girl, noticing that she had chipped nail varnish. Maurice had undoubtedly already had something to say about it, given that she was supposed to be the first point of contact for clients attending the office. “Yes, I had a change of plan with regards to my leave. I thought I’d drop in and speak with Maurice.”

  At the mention of his name, Maurice span around, the handset still glued to his ear. Felicity couldn’t be sure, but she thought she noticed a brief expression of surprise pass across his face at the sight of her. He held up a finger in her direction and continued his conversation.

  Felicity raised her eyebrow. Although she hadn’t expected him to come rushing over, she felt slightly irked by his flippant manner. She strode over to her desk and took a seat, looking out of the window at the familiar landscape of tall buildings and office lights. She found herself wondering how she’d managed to spend so many years thinking it was a magical place. Everything looked so grey and bleak now, the people below her in the streets mostly dressed in dull colours and making their way hastily to their destinations. It was a far cry from the relaxed, colourful days she’d spent in Cairns appreciating the beauty and nature with Owen.

  Maurice put down his telephone and stood up with a wry smile, walking over to her. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised to see you, Felicity.” She forced a smile as he carefully surveyed her from head to foot. “Clearly you’ve returned to your senses and realised that Australia is nothing more than a glorified flee pit.” He arched an eyebrow at her and waited for her agreement.

  Felicity found herself observing him through new eyes. Had she really worked for this man and held him in such regard for so long? She tried not to bite at his comment, instead reminding herself that it was his way. Besides, she had come to check on his health and the work situation. He looked ever so slightly thinner than usual, but apart from that, he didn’t look any different. She wondered if the cancer was under control.

  “You’re looking well, Maurice” she said nodding discreetly, aware that Selina knew nothing of the situation. Maurice propped himself against her desk, straightening his tie.

  “I know.” He smiled at her confidently and stood up straight.

  “So you’re back.” He picked up a file from her desk and pushed it at her. “New client. Johansson-Magnus. It’s a big account. I’ve asked Selina to look into flights to Sweden for tomorrow evening. I shall tell her to book for you also.”

  Without waiting for her to respond, he walked over to his desk and rifled through his papers, before screaming loudly for Selina. “Stupid, useless girl. She is an imbecile. I can’t say I’m impressed that you chose to leave me with such an unevolved creature.”

  Felicity sat in shocked silence, unsure how to respond. Maurice was assuming she was returning to the office to work? She most certainly didn’t want to be taking a flight to Sweden the next day. Glenda had already invited her to dinner with Bill. Her mind whirled as she watched Maurice frantically checking through files. Had he also really just referred to Selina as ‘an unevolved creature’? She felt sickened to her stomach, especially as the girl’s desk was in full earshot of everything said.

  Selina scurried hesitantly from the front office, head lowered - noticeably fearful of approaching Maurice.

  He span around, not noticing Felicity’s disgusted expression at the situation. “There you are” he spat venomously. “What have you done with my file for next week’s Miami trip?”

  Embarrassed and on the verge of tears, Selina shifted from foot to foot, eyes darting back and forth at the piles of papers around her. Felicity sensed the girl had no idea of the file’s whereabouts. “Erm, I think I filed it.”

  Enough was enough. She felt compelled to speak up. “Come on, Selina, I’ll help you to find the file.” She stood up and tapped the girl’s shoulder in support, leading her off toward the filing cabinet. Maurice tutted his disapproval.

  Grateful for the short distraction, she weighed up her options. Despite feeling nervous at the prospect of making this visit to Maurice, she really hadn’t expected to feel so conflicted about him personally. She valued all that he had done for her in the past but looking around the small filing room with its halogen lighting and claustrophobic feel, she knew that she didn’t want to spend another moment of her time working in such an environment. Especially given that Maurice’s quips no longer amused her. She was beginning to see them for what they truly were – the bitter offloadings of a negative and unhappy man.

  Selina quickly located the file with a sigh of relief and smiled her gratitude at Felicity. Walking together from the filing room back into the main office, Felicity’s heart was pounding in her chest as she pondered how to be break her news to Maurice.

  She sat quietly back at her desk as Selina passed the file to Maurice, who snatched it without thanks and began to spread the contents in front of Felicity.

  “This trip has also already been arranged” Maurice began, taking a sip of what appeared to be his favoured late morning Martini. Clearly his cancer scare hadn’t stopped his excessive drinking. “I asked Selina to book via Amsterdam because Goyard insinuated there might be something that interests us in his new venture there.” He tapped his nose which Felicity knew referred to black market business. “Then onto Miami to meet with Largerfield, he’s introducing us to a new client. I have a very strong feeling that this will be a lucrative trip for us.” He rubbed his hands together in excitement. “Tell Selina to make the necessary arrangements for you.”

  Felicity knew it was her moment to speak up. Not only hadn’t Maurice asked her a single question of her trip or her reason for returning early, he had automatically assumed they would pick up where they’d left off. It was this assumption that irritated her the most.

  She opened her mouth to protest. Maurice cut in quickly, wrinkling his nose at a gold enveloped invitation he’d picked up and was scanning.

  “Uh. It’s that ghastly cancer research company to which I donated funds. They won’t leave me alone. They keep inviting me to things. Money grabbers. I couldn’t care less about their event for children.” He angrily tore the invite in two and dropped it in the was
te basket next to Felicity. “I should never have listened to Eva about donating. It was a ridiculous waste of money, especially as I’m fine now. I would have preferred to have bought a new diving watch.”

  Unable to control her disgust, Felicity stood up and picked up her handbag. She couldn’t wait to get out of the building. She felt physically sick at the circumstances. This was the man she’d tried to stick up for against Owen’s better judgement. Yet he had been right all along. Maurice was a sorry excuse of a person.

  “Maurice, I have to go.” Her words sounded rushed and disconnected. She took a breath, trying to calm herself and take control of the situation. “Unfortunately I already have plans for today; I only dropped by to say hello.” She let her words settle before she dealt her final sentence. “On another note, I’m not intending to start back at work until after my sabbatical ends next month. So both the Sweden and Miami trips are out of the question for me.”

  Maurice stared at her in stunned silence. She knew that he was assessing whether to be sarcastic, angry or indifferent. He didn’t know how to be any other way.

  “Ok.”

  Felicity felt her shoulders relax. It was one simple word but it told her everything. Maurice accepted her wishes. She knew from the resentment in his body language and the way he turned his back to her dismissively that he wasn’t happy with the situation. However, he had no choice but to go along with it.

  “See you in January. That’s if you haven’t turned into a backpacker by then” he called out sarcastically.

  Ignoring him, Felicity made her way out of the office, briefly saying goodbye to Selina. She didn’t pause at the doorway to take a final glance of the office as she made her way to the lift, neither did she take a last look at Maurice’s Aston Martin which she’d often aspired to owning herself. Instead, she concentrated on the great sense of relief she was feeling.