Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  She felt guilty at the thought of open communication - she was growing increasingly worried about her relationship with Fee. Although things appeared to be normal on the surface, Zara couldn’t help but be concerned that her own recent and secretive actions were about to have a devastating effect. She bitterly regretted getting involved.

  Thomas let out a high-pitched wail as the bottle teat slipped from his mouth. She gently maneuvered it back into place, smiling at him greedily suckling away.

  What made it all the more troubling was that Felicity seemed to be in a good emotional place at the moment. She wouldn’t have minded if she had at least received an update on her actions, but she’d heard nothing in over eleven days…

  She couldn’t relax properly – what would happen if things backfired? Would Fee ever forgive her for interfering?

  She couldn’t be certain. She sighed wearily, wondering why on earth she’d convinced herself it was the right thing to do.

  The doorbell rang just as Felicity was pulling on her jeans.

  “For goodness sake” she huffed, trying desperately to tug the tight and unforgiving material up past her legs and thighs. “You’ll have to wait.”

  She stretched her leg out in front of her, trying to get comfortable in the skin hugging bottoms. As much as she loved skinny jeans, they were so impractical.

  The doorbell rang a second time. She grabbed the red jumper she’d placed on the bed and shoved it over her head, feeling irritated as the static made her hair electrified and stick to her face.

  She hurried down the stairs towards the door and opened it, bracing herself from the cold outside.

  “Hi, Fee.”

  Felicity stared in utter disbelief at the tanned and tired looking Owen on her doorstep. She took a moment to find her voice, suddenly feeling extremely hot and flushed.

  “Owen? What are you doing here? When…? How…?” she couldn’t find the right words to satisfy her confused thoughts.

  Owen grinned and she noticed his unusually yellow-green eyes looked more hazel in the dim, dismal December daylight.

  “I hear you had a sofa going spare with my name on it.”

  “Huh?” she replied, her eyes drawn to the large suitcase by his feet.

  He stamped his feet and rubbed his hands with a smile. “Well, are you going to invite me in or will I be spending the night sleeping in your yard?”

  Felicity automatically moved aside, opening up the doorway as Owen pushed his luggage into the hall. She noted his hair was less scraggy - it looked styled and neat. He removed his heavy woolen coat and her heart skipped a beat as she admired his blue cashmere sweater over a thick cotton shirt. He looked very smart and - dare she think it - like he’d made an effort. Was it for her?

  “Are you going to say something or continue staring at me like I’m a ghost?” Owen asked, a hint of a smile on his lips. She noticed his eyes twinkling with amusement.

  Irritation raged inside her. Who the hell did he think he was – standing smugly in her hall, unannounced and expecting her to be grateful. Had he no idea of the turmoil and confusion he’d caused her over the last few weeks? The constant thoughts, the incessant what if’s. And now here he was. True to form and acting as if they’d spoken only yesterday.

  “Well, I suppose I could start by saying what an asshole you are” she snapped, churlishly. Owen’s smile faded and his eyes narrowed.

  “Or I could start by asking you why you think it’s acceptable to appear out of the blue after a month without contact?” she looked challengingly at him, daring him to defy her.

  “Or how about I begin with telling you that you’re mistaken if you think I’m going to throw myself at you and thank you for travelling half way around the world to visit me.” She stood back from him, arms folded across her chest awkwardly.

  Owen looked amused and raised an eyebrow. “Are you done yet?”

  He took a step towards her and gently placed his hands either side of her waist. She didn’t resist, instead taking a deep breath and trying to maintain her angry poise toward him.

  Felicity couldn’t help but surrender as Owen’s head lowered toward hers. She tried to stop herself magnetically tilting her body and mouth against his, but it was useless. As his tongue gently met hers, she knew that no amount of anger or irritation would be enough to stop her body succumbing to Owen’s wandering and exploring hands.

  Thoughts of anything other than fulfilling her innermost desires were removed from her mind as she found herself swept up in the passion and sensuality she’d only dared to imagine.

  She was lost in a timeless consciousness with Owen.

  Glenda tried calling Fee on the landline for the fifth time. She couldn’t understand why she was being ignored. She was certain Felicity had told her she was spending the day at home working on her business plan. Why wasn’t she answering either of her phones?

  She sniffed back tears. As much as she didn’t want to burden her daughter, she couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to. She felt so foolish and stupid. She couldn’t shake off the image of Bill’s sympathetic expression and his obvious disappointment at her discovery.

  How could she truly have believed that fate had taken such a shine to her? After years of having it hard, why hadn’t she suspected that things seemed too good to be true? She was an idiot to have ever thought that she, the dowdy and unbalanced Glenda Harroway, could ever be blessed with a life of love and good fortune.

  “You pathetic fool” she repeated to herself, a fresh wave of tears falling freely down her cheeks.

  She tried dialling Fee’s number again, bleary-eyed and shoulders shaking with each sob.

  Still no answer. There was only one thing for it; she would have to go round there. Who else was there to share her discovery with otherwise?

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  “Do you want something to eat?” Felicity asked, feeling a sense of satisfaction, lightness and fulfilment she hadn’t had in so long. She pulled back the sofa throw and admired his body, tracing her finger along his chest. Owen reached for her finger and kissed it.

  “Yes, I do - I’m ravished. You’ve took every ounce of energy out of me. The last time I ate was on the plane.” He got up and stretched, reaching for his clothes. Felicity did the same, still finding it hard to believe that she’d just made love with Owen. Over and over.

  She walked across to the living-room house phone and pressed the unmute button, noticing the screen flashing with seven missed calls from her mother. She wondered if something was wrong. She quickly pulled on her jeans and jumper.

  “I just need to make a phone call” she said picking up the handset. “The kitchen is to the right, go and have a look in the fridge.”

  She watched as Owen patted down his ruffled hair and pulled on his socks as he hopped toward the kitchen. It seemed surreal that the man she’d daydreamed of constantly for the past month, was currently walking casually around her house. She could hardly contain her excitement.

  She dialled her mother’s mobile number, surprised as Glenda answered on the second ring. That was strange. It usually took at least five rings before Glenda had even dug the phone from her handbag.

  “Mum, it’s me. Everything ok?”

  Glenda wasted no time in responding. “Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling you.”

  Felicity could barely hear her mother through the background noise. “Oh, I had an unexpected guest” she stuttered. “Are you ok – you sound upset?” Felicity held the phone away from her ear as a high-pitched squeak interrupted the line. “What’s all that noise?”

  “No, I’m not ok love. I’m on the bus – on my way to yours” she snivelled.

  Felicity hoped she hadn’t heard correctly. “To mine? What, you mean you’re on your way now?” She glanced at Owen’s discarded shoes by the sofa and felt her heart sink.

  “Is your guest still there? Do you not want me?” Glenda asked, her voice small, timid and clearly hurt.

  “Don’t be
silly, of course I want you - and yes, my guest is still here.”

  Glenda sighed in relief. “Oh, I’m sorry love, I don’t mean to make things awkward but I really don’t know who else to turn to.”

  Felicity immediately felt concerned at hearing her mother’s shaky and upset voice. “Mum, what’s happened?”

  “I’ll explain when I get there.”

  “Ok, I’ll see you soon then.” Felicity said reluctantly, wondering worriedly what had occurred. “Oh and Mum...” She lowered her voice. “The guest, it’s Owen.”

  She wanted to laugh at Glenda’s sharp gasp of shock but she daren’t, given the situation. “Owen? What, you mean Owen from Australia...?”

  “Yes - I'll explain later...”

  Ignoring Glenda’s obvious confusion, Felicity repeated her goodbye until her mother finally took the hint. She hung up the phone and scratched her head distractedly. The last couple of hours had passed in a whirlwind and she still hadn’t got her chance to speak properly with Owen.

  Exactly what was he doing here? Come to think of it – how did he even know where she lived? She tried not to let her concerns dampen her spirits. She was still on a high from their passionate sex and Owen’s tender cuddles.

  Her earlier anger had vanished totally; she couldn’t think of anything other than how natural it was to be together again, it almost felt like they hadn’t been apart. But there were things she needed to know. She snapped out of her post-coital bubble. Why had it taken him so long to come for her?

  She walked towards the kitchen purposefully. She had to get answers before her mother arrived.

  Sylvia admired the small bunch of red roses taking pride of place on the dining table and sighed with melancholy. Although she knew there was still a long way to go with rebuilding the relationship, she saw Phillip’s gesture as the first sign that he was willing to try. But did it matter anymore?

  His shock announcement that he was considering a lucrative presenting job in New York had left her feeling momentarily stunned. After a lengthy discussion they’d agreed that if things were to progress with that opportunity, he would be silly not to take up the offer.

  As much as it saddened her to think of him living and working so far away, she also had to think of their child’s financial security. She only hoped it wasn’t to be the beginning of a new life of which she wasn’t a part.

  She’d also been making some decisions for herself. Her gruelling schedule at the television studios was beginning to tire her on all levels. As much as her client base was growing and her reputation was building fast within the industry, she felt she couldn’t keep up with demand.

  It was no longer possible to be on her feet for twelve hours a day, followed by private client bookings in remote settings. Physically and mentally, she was beginning to feel drained. Something had to give. She had no choice but to prioritise. It was time to cut her hours or consider going freelance again. She patted her small bump.

  “If only you knew the sacrifices I’m making for you” she whispered quietly and pensively.

  How had her life managed to change so drastically in the space of just a few months?

  “But I don’t understand. Why didn’t you at least call me or email me to explain?” Felicity stared searchingly into Owen’s eyes.

  Owen reached out and delicately lifted up her lowered chin with his hand, running his finger over her lips. “I tried, but an email or a phone call would have been cowardly and misunderstood. The only way I could make you understand was in person”

  He looked at her confused face and felt his heart flutter with both nerves and confirmation. Confirmation that he had made the right choice. Felicity was the only woman that with one glance could make him feel so special that he could burst. Why hadn’t he come for her sooner? Why had he let his fears keep him away?

  Felicity let his words sink in. She couldn’t have imagined that a man so self-assured and at one with life’s challenges would have let his fear of the past inhibit him.

  “Seeing you in the midst of a transitional process brought everything back to me. I saw myself reflected in you. The Owen I’d left behind in Melbourne. The person who used money as power, as a way to get whatever woman I wanted, as a way to manipulate any situation.” He lowered his eyes.

  “I had come so far, Fee - eight years of running away from a lifestyle and a persona that wasn’t truly me. Eight years of trying to establish myself in my own right. And then suddenly, out of the blue you came into my life.”

  He smiled, stroking a stray hair from her face. “I knew it from the moment I saw you in that well-tailored outfit, retching at the rancid smell of Darlene’s fridge.” Felicity laughed and he continued, holding her eyes.

  “The way you looked me up and down, turning your nose up without even realising. The way you unwittingly let on so quickly that you were also running away from your life - trying to find the real you. I knew from that moment that I could easily fall in love with you. You were me.”

  Felicity understood perfectly. It made sense now – why he was so worldy and wise. He’d been there too, but in a much bigger and grander way than she would have ever experienced.

  She was still reeling from the fact that he was the son of McNilsen. She’d seen the millionaire mining magnets name mentioned more than enough times in Australia’s financial newspapers, yet she’d never dreamed that Owen could possibly be connected to the same family. It was no wonder that he was so well linked with his charity work. His father was both Patron and Board member of numerous non-profit wildlife and children’s organisations.

  “So I reminded you too much of the old you. The material you?” Felicity tried not to show her hurt and disappointment. She knew there was a great deal of truth in what he was saying, but the truth stung. She didn’t want to hear that she’d reminded him of his former egotistical and money orientated ways.

  He shrugged. “In a small way, yes. But mostly you reminded me of the lost Owen, the one that needed time to find himself – to find his own way and his own sense of purpose without anyone influencing that.” He held her hand, dancing his fingers against her palm.

  “I saw how vulnerable you were, Fee. You clearly had things you needed to deal with and I wanted to give you that chance.”

  Felicity bit down on her lip, unsure how to answer.

  “When you turned up at the Koala sanctuary after I’d written you off as someone I’d never see again, there was no doubt in my mind that it was fate. I knew I was falling for you there and then. I couldn’t think of anything but wanting you in Cairns with me.”

  Felicity smiled, warmed at his honesty and feeling her heart swelling.

  “You couldn’t imagine how hard it was for me, living with you – trying not to cross that line that I knew would confuse and complicate things for you even more. It was pure torture. I wanted you so badly, Fee. And then, when you told me you were leaving – just after I’d decided I couldn’t wait much longer and I was about to tell you my feelings – I was devastated.”

  “Then why did you let me go?” Felicity asked, bewildered and euphoric all at the same time.

  “Because I started to question if you really felt the same way. I couldn’t be certain. I felt something from you but I didn’t know if it was genuine or a projection.” He stared at her, eyes sparkling yellow green under the bright halogen light.

  “I was scared of getting it wrong. Then by the time I kissed you at the airport and I realised that you did feel it too, it was already too late.” He looked down at Felicity’s long slender fingers and entwined them in his own. “I had to let you go. To give you time and space to yourself. It would have been selfish of me to ask you to stay.”

  “Do you know how much I wanted you to ask me to stay?” Felicity replied, shaking her head in bemusement. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I returned. Thinking and hoping. In honesty, I’d almost given up.” She laughed aloud in amusement, stunned at the irony of his timely appearance.

&nb
sp; He grinned, recognising her sudden sense of being overwhelmed at the situation. He too felt perplexed at the absurdity of their circumstances.

  “Does this mean you’ll be letting me stay then?” Owen asked, knowing the answer without needing a response.

  Felicity took a moment to scan his face, wondering how she’d ever manage to survive without this man being a part of her life again. Just his presence at her kitchen table was enough to make her feel loved, secure and soul satisfied. Something no other man had ever been able to give her.

  “I suppose so. As long as you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa.” She winked and Owen laughed.

  The doorbell rang and she suddenly remembered her mother. Her smile vanished. There was so much more she wanted to discuss with Owen but it would have to wait. Glenda needed her.

  Felicity stroked her mother’s hair tenderly, feeling powerless to help. Whatever she’d suggested had seemed to fall on deaf ears. Glenda wasn’t ready to listen.

  “A son!” Glenda said again, for the umpteenth time. “To think of how many times I spoke of you and not once did he ever think to mention his son.”

  Felicity glanced at Owen who was busying himself with her laptop in the dining room - he caught her eye with a sympathetic look. She was thankful he was staying quiet in the background. Her mother seemed to be heading towards one of her panic attacks.

  “Yvonne – yes, ok, I knew about her.” She looked at Fee’s confused expression. “Bill’s ex-wife” she said for clarification, waving her hand dismissively. “But there was never a mention of their thirty-five year old son, Bill Junior. Thirty-five!”

  Felicity rubbed her face with her hands. Although she knew it was a shock for her mother, she couldn’t help but feel empathetic towards Bill.

  “Mum, you need to stop focusing on the son part and instead try and focus on the circumstances behind it” she tried gently to get Glenda to look at her and pay attention, instead of continuously scratching her hand anxiously.