Isabella's Submission [Fate Harbor 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Caitlyn O'Leary

  “Caleb, didn’t you hear the crap that she was saying about herself?”

  “Yes, Leif, I did. Shall I recap for you?” Caleb knew his voice was sarcastic, but his temper was blown. Leif should know better than this. He continued, “I know that we are dealing with someone who has almost no sexual experience. Would you agree?” Caleb waited, and finally Leif nodded.

  “We are dealing with someone who thinks she has been promiscuous and if I had to guess, based on her upbringing, she sees what happened to her as something sinful that she alone caused. Are you with me, Leif? Are you tracking?”

  “Yes, Samuels, I’m tracking.”

  “We are dealing with someone who is sheltered and by her own admission, is still struggling with her deep attraction to the two of us. Still with me?” Leif just stared at him.

  “And that precious woman in there just basically said that she cared enough for us, that she could see herself falling in love with us. She told us that she wants us to have the best possible woman to make a life with, but that she doesn’t think that she is good enough to be that woman.” Caleb took a deep breath and continued. “She said that, Leif, because she is empathetic, caring, loving and wonderful. Meanwhile, you’re over there thinking with your goddamn dominant dick, instead of realizing that we have a chance to nurture and love and be loved by the best thing that has ever happened to us.”

  Caleb watched as his words sank in.

  “But how can she doubt herself like that, Caleb? It makes no sense!” Leif walked over to the counter where he had left his beer, felt the warm bottle and poured it down the sink before getting a cold one out of the fridge.

  “Didn’t you ever spend any time with your mom or your sister?” Caleb held out his hand and Leif handed him a beer as well.

  “Yeah, I guess Kara was going through some stuff where she didn’t know which way was up, but she always knew her own worth.” Seriously surrounded by stupidity, Caleb thought to himself as he took a pull from his beer.

  “Leif, let’s look at this from another angle. I know that there were times when all four of you Johansen kids took shit because you had two dads.”

  “We sure as hell didn’t take it for long.” Leif’s grin was feral. Caleb couldn’t help but smile back. Growing up in Fate Harbor, he was often right beside Caleb and his siblings whenever a disparaging comment was made about the Johansen parents being a triad. Soon there was no kid in school who had anything to say about the Johansens or any triad families, because they knew they’d get the shit kicked out of them.

  “What I’m saying is that Isabella is cut from a different cloth than the Johansen clan. Clearly, she got called some pretty vicious names while she was in college. These accusatory labels apparently tied into her moral upbringing. So it’s easy to see how she ended up with some deep-seated beliefs about who she is, and the level of worthiness she’s assigned to herself since those days. This is not about somebody who is mouthing off things to offend her Dom so she can get spanked, Leif! This is a young woman who has a broken mirror.” Caleb took another long pull off his beer and set it down on the counter, happy to see Leif really thinking about what he had said. He turned and made his way back down the hall.

  “Bella,” Caleb whispered, knocking softly on the door, “can I come in?” He knocked a little louder, just in case she was awake and hadn’t heard him, but hopefully not loud enough to wake her if she was asleep. When he still didn’t get an answer, he quietly opened the door. He was there when the doctor provided them with aftercare instructions for her leg over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, and they did want to keep it elevated. Instead of finding her resting comfortably, he found her crying in her sleep, and it about broke his heart. He stood beside the bed briefly considering his next move, knowing she needed her sleep. He couldn’t stand to leave this alone, however. He was genetically unable to allow this woman to be left in pain. He knelt beside the bed.

  “Bella,” he whispered, as he stroked the warm, damp tendrils away from her forehead. She thrashed her head away from his hand. “Bella, honey, can you wake up?”

  “No, no, no.” Her voice was heartbreaking. He reached over and pulled her up against his chest. “Please, not Mama and Papa! Please officer, not my mama and papa, they’re all I have.” He pulled her tighter against his chest, and just rocked her as she cried and cried. It was as if she had never once cried for her dead parents. After coming to know Isabella Camarena, Caleb was beginning to wonder if she had ever really allowed herself a chance to mourn.

  “Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry.” Caleb just repeated those words over and over again. His only real conscious thought was not to tell her to stop crying, or that it would be all right. He’d heard too many people tell others that when they were grieving, when it was clear that it wasn’t all right, and that the person clearly needed to let it all out. So he just rocked her and continued to murmur any nonsense that he thought might be the slightest bit comforting.

  At long last, when Caleb’s shirt was a soggy mess, and Isabella’s curls were lank with sweat and tears, Isabella looked up at him. She blinked several times, like she had to work to get him into focus. She then gave him the sweetest watery smile. “I thought you and Leif had left.”

  “We had, Bella. I came into check that you had elevated your leg. Remember, I told you I was going to do that?”

  “Yes.” Despite her smile, her voice was tremulous. They both looked down at her calf and saw that both of her legs were tangled in the sheets, and that her sleep shirt had worked its way well up her body, so that her panties were showing. Jesus God, had he ever seen anything sexier than her shapely legs leading up and up to those plump thighs? He checked himself, however, in order to demonstrate his better understanding of the woman in his arms from her earlier revelations. Caleb reached down, and pulled up the sheet to her waist.

  “Bella, before I leave, we have to come up with a way for your leg to stay up while you sleep. The doctor said it was important, okay, sweetheart?” Caleb left his hand resting at her hip, indulging in the softness and warmth that he had discovered.

  He waited for her to nod, before continuing. “Do you want to tell me about your dream?”

  “It was the same dream I always have. It’s a jumbled repeat of the day I was called to the dean’s office where there are police officers. They’re waiting for me to inform me that my parents were killed in a car crash.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, no wonder you were sobbing, you were reliving that day. Was there a pastor or a counselor there, as well?”

  “Oh yes.” She nodded her head, her eyes solemn.

  “That’s good.”

  “I heard what you said to the officers. How your parents were all you had.”

  “I never said anything of the sort!” Isabella said with a bewildered expression. “I didn’t say anything at all. I asked to be excused and went back to my dorm room.”

  “They allowed that?” Caleb was aghast.

  “Well, it wasn’t quite that easy. They tried to get me to talk, but when they realized it was useless, they finally let me leave.”

  “Oh, Bella,” Caleb gave into the urge and hugged her tightly to him, rocking her gently. “So was it later that night that you gave in to your grief?”

  “That’s the thing, Caleb. I never really did. Then the nightmares started almost a month after I dropped out of college.” She gave another big yawn. Caleb really wanted to pursue this, but her health and wellbeing was the current priority. She was clearly exhausted.

  “Let’s get you comfortable, and put this leg up so you can get your rest. That way we can make those calls and you’ll be visiting with the kids in no time.” Caleb drew away and he saw the wan smile that she gave him. He was baffled. He would have sworn that would have made her excited. “Bella, don’t you want to see the children?”

  “Oh yes. More than anything.” She looked up into his eyes as she gripped his biceps.

  “Then, what is it that’s bothering you?” Isab
ella lowered her eyes. “Bella, answer me.” Although his tone was low, Caleb used his commander voice, compelling her to answer.

  “I just won’t be able to sleep. I never can after one of those nightmares. I usually can’t sleep for a night or two. I’m too afraid.” God, this woman just about broke his heart.

  “How about if I lie down next to you? Do you think that would help?” His cock did an immediate happy dance until his brain explained that there would be no nooky! Then it started aching like a bad tooth.

  “I just don’t know, Caleb.” Her voice was so sad and lost. He gently tugged out of her hold, and got up. He went to the closet and pulled out extra pillows. Isabella was still sitting up in the middle of the bed, part of the sleep shirt slipped down showing the glowing honey skin of her rounded shoulder. There wasn’t a part of Isabella Caramena that Caleb didn’t find attractive, inside or out. Her heart was huge, and she understood a great deal of life. The risks she had taken to help those kids escape those deadly human traffickers still scared the hell out of him. True, the situation was dangerous enough, but it was the fact that she completely understood the gravity of the situation and dove in to help those families without hesitation that frightened him most.

  When Caleb and Charlie Meade, the sheriff, had interviewed Carmen Velarde, there was no doubt in his mind that Carmen was in danger of being victimized by one or more of the men running the fucking camp. Most likely, she’d have been forced into the sex trade after they tired or until they kidnapped the next attractive, underage young girl. Yeah, Isabella was a hero by anyone’s standards but her own. She reminded him of many of the men he’d been privileged to serve alongside.

  At the same time, Isabella was an absolute innocent. He pulled back the sheet from where it had tangled around her feet. It seemed like the covers were pressing against her ankle. “Does this hurt, sweetheart?” Caleb asked as he freed the sheet from beneath her leg and foot. She shook her head, smothering another yawn. He quickly placed the pillows under her injured limb. Ensuring that there was no seepage, he resumed his seat up near the top of the bed beside her.

  Caleb removed two of the pillows from behind her head, and lowered her onto the bed. Looking down at Isabella, he so wanted to kiss her, but he resisted the urge for her sake. He was satisfied knowing that the time would be right for his affections very soon. He leaned down, brushed a kiss on her forehead, and stood up. “Get some rest, Bella. Just call out when you’re awake. I promise we’ll hear you.” Before he had a chance to take a step, she grabbed his hand in what he guessed was the hardest grip she had.

  “I thought you were going to lie down with me.” He couldn’t decide if she looked more frantic or forlorn.

  “I—”

  “Never mind.” As Isabella released his hand, Caleb decided she definitely looked forlorn. He sat back down and began unlacing his boots. He heard her loud outbreath. Looking sideways at her, Caleb now saw something that took him by surprise. It wasn’t just relief, there was just a hint of desire in Isabella’s expression. After finishing with his boots, he stood up and took off his belt, continuing to monitor this Mexican beauty’s expression. To Caleb’s way of thinking, women normally fell into two groups. There were those who wanted you to know they were looking and wanted you to look back. Then there were the women who stole quick glances and were embarrassed if they were caught. But Isabella was in a category all her own. She looked as if she couldn’t help herself, and it didn’t occur to her to be embarrassed, likely because she had never wanted to look. He had seen Isabella give Leif those eyes that drank everything in and he had been jealous. He hated feeling that petty emotion, but it had been there.

  Caleb gazed at Isabella there in her sleep shirt. He could see that she had taken off her bra and he had clearly felt the warmth of her breasts seeping through the thin cloth of their shirts, when he was holding her earlier. Without further thought, he tugged off his T-shirt and was gratified with her gasp. He studied her through hooded lashes as she looked her fill. He debated taking off his jeans as well, but decided that would be too much for both of them.

  He walked around to the other side of the oversized bed. Neither he, nor Leif had ever slept in this room. He looked up to find Isabella still staring at him.

  * * * *

  Isabella couldn’t look away from Caleb if her life depended on it. He was beautiful, from the top of his shaved head to the way his jeans molded his buttocks and clung to the sculpted pillars of his thighs and calves. She’d formed an idea of how he must look with his shirt off at the school while watching him flex his muscles when he was swinging a hammer or lifting the poles for the new basketball hoops. To see him now, at last, without his shirt on, made her ache all over. His shoulders were so wide, and he actually sported the six-pack abs that she had seen in magazines. His skin was a rich dark brown that reminded her of the espresso she loved to the point of addiction. Isabella kicked herself inwardly for wishing he had taken off his jeans as well. There was no hope that she was ever going to get to sleep.

  Caleb crawled into the oversized bed that once seemed huge, shrinking its spaciousness with his chiseled ebony physique. He got under the sheet with her, spreading the lightweight comforter over them as well. He moved his pillow right next to hers and gathered her into his arms.

  “Is this good, Bella? Do you think you might be able to rest now?” Isabella froze. Never in her life had she been in a bed with a man who wanted to hold her in his arms, let alone with a man intent on comforting her. She looked up into Caleb’s dark, soft green eyes and got lost. She felt tears forming again. This time the tears weren’t because of a nightmare or grief over her lost Mama and Papa. These tears bubbled up from a hidden spring deep within her, unrecognized before today. An overwhelming fountain was gushing up emotions that she couldn’t express, and so the tears spoke her feelings.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I know. You just let it all out.” Caleb reached over her to the nightstand and pulled two tissues out of the box. Why he hadn’t grabbed them before, she didn’t understand since she had made such a mess of his shirt.

  “No, Caleb, it’s you. You’re being so nice to me, and I just don’t deserve it.”

  “Is this because of what happened when you were a teenager?”

  “You make me sound so young. I was nineteen. I was a sophomore in college, Caleb.” Tears kept falling despite her best attempts to stop them. She pressed the tissues against her eyes, and she couldn’t see his reactions to what she said. Once again he pressed her cheek against his broad chest. Isabella could feel the soft curls of his chest hair, and smell the clean scent of his skin, instead of fabric softener. It was wonderful.

  Caleb sifted his fingers through her curls until his fingertips were pressed against her scalp, and he started the most wonderful massage.

  “Sweetheart, you need to listen to me, not just with your head, but with your heart and even your soul. You did nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong in using sex as a means of getting emotional comfort. I’m just sorry that it didn’t work out for you. I’m so sorry that you were used.”

  “But I wasn’t used.” Isabella tried to push against Caleb’s chest so that she could look at him. She wanted to see him as she disagreed, but it was no use. He continued to hold her gently yet firmly against him, massaging her head and neck. Resigning herself to her position, she relaxed a little and said into his chest, “Those men didn’t use me. I used them.”

  “Boys.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Boys. They were boys, Bella. No real man worth his salt would have done that to you. A man would have held you and cherished you during your time of need.” Like Caleb was doing for her now, Isabella thought.

  “But Caleb, you’re not listening to me. I used them. I attempted to assuage my grief using sex. It didn’t work, but that doesn’t negate the fact that is what I did. I need to take responsibility for my actions.” Isabella wasn’t going to let this man, or anybody for that matter, try to excuse her
unconscionable behavior.

  “Sweetheart, I heard you. I heard everything you said. Now, I need you to hear me. You did nothing wrong except maybe giving the gift of your heart and body to boys who didn’t understand the treasure they were receiving. But deciding to have sex is not something to be ashamed of. Is your heart hearing me?”

  And with those words, it was as if part of a weight was lifted from her chest. Not the whole weight, but so much of the burden that Isabella had been carrying seemed to have been lifted that she melted into Caleb’s hold. Her tears magically dried up, and as if sensing the change in her mood, Caleb smoothly plucked the tissues from her grasp and tossed them onto the nightstand. With his knuckle under her chin he lifted her face so she was once again staring into his endless green eyes.

  “Better?”

  “I’m getting there.” Isabella worked her arms free from between their bodies and wrapped them around him, her hands barely touching on the other side. His back was warm and rippled with muscles. She stroked up and down, loving the feel. Other than Leif, he was the only man she had ever held.

  “Sweetheart, you need to sleep.”

  “I told you, I can never sleep after one of these nightmares.” When he just continued staring at her, saying nothing, she realized that she had been wrong. He had merely been providing comfort. Isabella pulled her hands away, but before she could move them much, he grasped her upper arms.

  “No. I like your hands on me. I like it too much. God, Bella, you’re a dream. You’re my dream.” Caleb lowered his head and as she looked at his full tantalizing lips, Isabella silently prayed that he would kiss her. Then his mouth was on hers, and it was heaven. Softly, slowly, Isabella opened herself to Caleb as he seduced her mouth with his, coaxing her lips to part as their breath mingled. She arched into his chest, needing his closeness. He gathered her tighter and then Caleb’s tongue tenderly invaded her mouth, not in the clumsy way a boy would do, but in the deliberate way of a man. His tongue made languid sweeps against hers that sparked need throughout her body. Isabella latched onto him, needing his taste and sucking him deeper into the hot cavern of her mouth, inhaling him. She hummed in pleasure, stopping abruptly when he groaned.