The Truth About You, Me and Us

by Kate Field

  He let go of her hand, brushed the tears away from her cheeks, and pulled her into a hug. She could feel his ragged breaths, as he buried his head in her hair.

  ‘Is it him?’ he asked, drawing back to look at her face. ‘Be honest, Nell. Are you in love with Joel?’

  ‘Yes.’ She couldn’t deny it. She’d found her certainty now, too late. ‘But it’s no good. He thinks I’m a spoilt rich girl who ruined your life.’

  ‘Not that rich…’ Catching her eye, he laughed, and she laughed too. Though her heart still ached a little at the sight of him, it had become a good ache: an acknowledgment that they had shared something great, and had found a fresh way forward. They would be a team, but a team of parents, not lovers.

  ‘Will you be honest with me, Dan?’ she asked. She had tried to forget the conversation with Adam before Christmas, but she needed to know the truth. ‘If there’d been no pregnancy, and I had come with you to Hong Kong, where would we be now? Would we be here, planning our future, trying for Megan and Archie?’

  She knew the answer before he opened his mouth. The movement of his eyebrow, the tap of his finger, were tells that he couldn’t disguise from someone who had idolised him on first sight.

  ‘But you’re so different now,’ he protested.

  ‘Only because of Megan. If I was the same person you left, she would never have existed, would she?’

  He sighed, as if finally letting go of all the pretence of the last few months.

  ‘Probably not.’

  They both looked over at the beautiful little girl on the swing, who waved back at them, beaming with happiness.

  ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about,’ Daniel murmured.

  ‘And one more thing,’ Helen continued. She took hold of his hand, for what she knew would be the last time. It was warm and solid in her grasp, and still carried a faint tan, a souvenir of their time apart. This hand had led her through some brilliant times, but she didn’t need leading any more. ‘No tricks, no blame, just tell me the truth. If I’d contacted you in Hong Kong, and told you I was pregnant – the Helen I was then – what would you have done?’

  And again she saw the answer before he spoke it; but this time she needed to hear the words. He turned his hand so he was holding hers, and stroked his thumb along the back of her fingers.

  ‘I loved you, Nell, you can’t doubt that,’ he said. ‘But I had been working towards that job for over ten years. I couldn’t have given it up.’

  Helen nodded, and let her hand slide from his. Her nose prickled with unshed tears, and her heart stung as her memory of the past was scratched out, and a new version engraved in its place. Her guilt melted away, leaving her dizzy with relief and possibility. She really hadn’t ruined Daniel’s life. She hadn’t ruined Megan’s life. Perhaps she deserved her happiness after all.

  ‘I need to go,’ she said. Daniel nodded, understanding at once what she meant. ‘Do you mind? I’m sorry to cut short the holiday.’

  ‘You should go on your own. Megan will be fine with me for one last night.’ He took hold of her shoulders and twisted her round to face into the house. ‘Go and pack. I’ll ring for a taxi to take you home.’

  A mile away from Pleasant View Cottages, the nerves crept in, towing wheelbarrows full of doubts behind in their wake. What if Joel wasn’t there? What if he was there, but wouldn’t listen to her? What if he was there with Saskia? Helen wished she was back in Yorkshire. What on earth had she been thinking of, rushing back here?

  Her mobile beeped and she checked the message.

  ‘Your Hong Kong is waiting for you. Be happy. Dan.’

  Helen was still puzzling over the message when the taxi drew up outside the cottage and she got out. Daniel had already paid an extortionate fare, and as the driver lifted out her bag, she looked over at her house, and noticed even after a few days the changes that the spring weather had delivered in the garden. Crocuses and daffodils were bursting through the soil, bringing new life to the garden, and in a previously empty bed a couple of rose bushes waited for the summer. She stared at them, wondering where they had come from.

  She opened the gate, and as she headed up the path she saw Joel waiting at the end, between the doors to their houses. Then she understood Daniel’s message, and the tears sprang to her eyes again. He had done this. He had forgiven her. He had let her go.

  Helen put down her bag and waited as Joel walked down the path towards her. The rogue curl sprang out over his ear, as if it had been recently tortured, and he was smiling, a faintly anxious smile, but it was still wonderful to see, and her heart swelled with relief.

  ‘You knew I was coming back,’ she said, as he halted in front of her. He nodded. ‘Did Daniel ring you?’

  ‘Yes. It was quite a surprise.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘I’m going to have to be a hypocrite, and keep it secret. It was men’s talk.’

  ‘Was it about me?’

  He laughed, and she soaked in the sound, marvelling at how much she had missed it.

  ‘Stop fishing.’

  She smiled, and bent down to read the label on the roses.

  ‘Ingrid Bergman, a hybrid tea rose, deep red double petalled flowers. It sounds gorgeous. Did you do this?’

  ‘Yes.’ Joel moved beside her, his arm brushing hers. ‘I bought them as an apology – and a declaration. But by the time they arrived, you’d gone on holiday and I thought it was all too late.’

  ‘And yet you planted them anyway?’

  ‘Yes. Because you are still the most amazing, incredible woman I’ve ever met, and you deserve to be showered in roses, whether you’re with me or not.’

  And that was enough to bring hope to life, and Helen’s heart began a glorious, dizzying spin.

  ‘Why are you wearing two ties?’ she asked, a smile bouncing round her lips.

  ‘Another peace offering. I know how much you like them.’ The cheeky grin flashed. ‘I’ve a baguette in the kitchen ready for you to murder as well.’

  Helen laughed and reached out to take Joel’s hand. Long fingers wrapped round hers. It wasn’t a hand that would lead her; it was one that would support her, as they walked side by side.

  ‘Do you believe me?’ she asked, searching his face. ‘I’m just me, the good and the bad. I can’t be perfect.’

  ‘I believed you as soon as I’d calmed down, and long before a parade of people came to set me straight and tell me what an idiot I was.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Auntie Joan, Kirsty, Fiona, Malcolm…’

  ‘Fiona and Malcolm? What did they know?’

  ‘Haven’t you heard? It’s been a busy week. Kirsty told them everything, and Saskia’s part in it. They’d guessed something was wrong. They threatened to leave Church Farm unless Saskia did. I gave her notice, but she’s already gone. Apparently she made some contacts in London on the day of the fair, and has gone to make her fortune down there.’

  The relief was immense. Helen could stay at the Hay Barn; she could continue to run Crazy Little Things. It struck her how unhappy she would have been to give it up as Daniel had wanted. It was part of her, and with Joel’s support she could make it even better. But there was still one thing she had to clear up.

  ‘I saw Saskia going back to your house one night. Have you been seeing her?’

  ‘If you were watching, you’d have seen her leave not long after.’ Embarrassment tinged Joel’s face. ‘It became obvious that she’d had ulterior motives in trying to put me off you.’

  ‘It was obvious to everyone.’

  He squeezed her hand. ‘Everyone else, maybe, but I was only looking one way.’

  Helen took a step nearer, and ran her fingers down the length of his ties.

  ‘If you believed me, why didn’t you come and tell me?’

  ‘Because when I thought about what you’d done, the thing that hit me most was how deeply you must have loved Daniel.’ Uncertainty lit his eyes. ‘You share a history, and a child. We’d sh
ared one kiss. How could I ever compete with that?’

  ‘You’re not competing. And it wasn’t just one kiss. It was two, and they were the most magnificent kisses I’ve ever known.’ She dropped his hand, let go of the tie, and put her arms round his neck. ‘Daniel asked me to go back to him and I said no. I love you. I’m all yours if you still want me. And Megan.’

  His arms slid round her waist.

  ‘I never stopped wanting you. I love you both. Where is Megan?’

  ‘On holiday for another night.’

  ‘Is she?’ A new smile was added to Joel’s repertoire. It was decidedly wicked. Helen liked it. ‘So we’re on our own. What do you suggest we do now?’

  ‘I suppose that depends on whether you need to go back to work.’

  ‘Funny you should mention that. There is some business I need to sort out.’ Joel tightened his arms, pulling her closer until it felt as if they shared each breath. ‘It occurred to me earlier that I never did take your advice and negotiate perks with my favourite tenant. It’s probably time I did.’

  Helen’s fingers tangled in his hair.

  ‘It was excellent advice. And is that going to take you all day?’

  ‘I think it’s going to take me forever.’

  ‘Forever?’ Helen laughed. ‘We’d better make a start then.’

  And she kissed him, and took his hand and led him into the house.

  Acknowledgements

  I’m incredibly lucky to have some brilliant writing friends, particularly Julie and Catherine, who are unstinting in their encouragement, and always know what to say in the good times and the bad. Thanks also to the Beta Buddies for admitting me to the inner circle (at last!), and providing support, laughter and great books to read.

  I’m grateful to everyone at the Romantic Novelists’ Association for ongoing support, but special thanks go to Allie Spencer for kindness, excellent advice, and for giving me confidence when it was much needed.

  It’s been an amazing year since my debut, The Magic of Ramblings, was published, and I couldn’t have anticipated how people would take Ramblings and the Ribblemillers to their hearts. Thanks to everyone who left a review or contacted me after reading the book. Reading has brought me so much pleasure over the years, and it means a lot to be able to pay a small part of that back.

  Praise for The Magic of Ramblings:

  ‘A beautiful must read – magical!’ Emma Davies

  ‘This is one of the loveliest books I’ve read in a long time.’ Lynda Stacey

  ‘The Magic of Ramblings is a book that I know I will be reading again and again. A feel good book about the goodness of human nature and the importance of community, love and friendship.’ Jo Worgan, Brew and Books Review

  ‘An absolute delight to read. I couldn’t put it down. It’s the first book I’ve read by Kate Field, and certainly not the last.’ Goodreads review

  ‘I really enjoyed this book and it’s very obvious right from the beginning that Kate Field is a very talented writer.’ JB Johnston, Brook Cottage Books

  ‘Kate Field has captured brilliantly the essence of human nature.’ Amazon review

  ‘I’m so glad I tried this debut author and can’t wait for her next novel to come out. More please!!’ Amazon review

  ‘Kate’s writing is effortless and reading her work makes you feel as you are wrapped in a cosy, warm blanket.’ Amazon review

  ‘Character development is the key to any great story and Kate handles hers with deftness and detail.’ Goodreads review

  KATE FIELD writes contemporary women’s fiction, mainly set in her favourite county of Lancashire, where she lives with her husband, daughter and hyperactive cat. She is a member of the Romantic Novelists’ Association. Kate’s debut novel, The Magic of Ramblings, won the RNA’s Joan Hessayon Award for new writers in 2017.

  You can find Kate on:

  Twitter: @katehaswords

  Facebook: /KateFieldAuthor

  Winner of the RNA Joan Hessayon Award for new writers 2017

  Running away can be the answer, if you run to the right place…

  ‘A beautiful must read – magical!’

  Emma Davies