What Remains: Untainted

by Kris Norris

  He inched closer, running just a single finger down her arm. “The creatures you killed might have been monsters, but they were still friends and family…people you’d taken care of and helped keep alive for months. You can’t tell me you didn’t have feelings for them. So yeah, maybe you didn’t kill them while they were human, but their resurrection didn’t alter how you felt about them, did it?”

  He continued when all he got was a small shake of her head. “How many did you have to kill?”

  She exhaled an overly loud breath, looking back at the other two men before turning back to him. “Twenty-seven.”

  Colby cursed, spinning Abby to face him. “You had twenty-seven people living in here with you?”

  Her gaze traveled the room, pausing in a few places. “Not all of them were here. There were twenty survivors when I first arrived—lost nearly half before we finally moved up here.”

  Colby frowned. “So where did the other seven come into play?”

  “Let’s just say not everyone made it out of New Mexico alive.”

  Darcy clenched his jaw, obviously trying to ignore the wash of tears that raced down her cheek, falling to the floor with deafening clarity.

  Barrett hung his head, wondering who she’d had to put out of their misery before she’d ever ventured inside these walls, when her footsteps gained his attention. He looked up, but she’d already moved through them and was standing beside the counter again. Colby shook his head and shuffled over to one of the mattresses, plopping down on it as if every ounce of will had been drained from his body. Darcy followed suit, leaning against the wall as he stared at the floor.

  Barrett sighed, wishing he’d just taken her in his arms despite her possible protest. She needed to know she wasn’t alone anymore. That they could help shoulder whatever guilt she had balled up inside her. He stared at her, not willing to let it go just yet.

  Abby shifted restlessly on her feet again before hopping up on the counter, her head pressing on the blanket-covered window. “In case you guys haven’t scouted everything out yet, the toilet on the lower level works, as does the shower. We were able to hook up a small generator to the pumping system inside the tower. I syphon gas to run it from time to time. The pump doesn’t heat the water much for the shower, but at least you can wash off the stench. I suggest you limit yourselves to only a few minutes. Though you might want to wait until sunrise so the noise doesn’t attract them.” She looked at the window as if she could see through the thin covering. “I know there isn’t much chance of one of them getting in here, but…I’ll take first watch. Just in case.” She met Barrett’s gaze for a moment. “I’d appreciate it if you’d stay off that leg for a bit.”

  “Abby…”

  His voice faded. What more could he say? He limped over to where he’d pushed his food around his plate and lowered to the floor. She needed space. Time to grasp everything that had happened today. Time to forgive herself for living when everyone else had died.

  He glanced at her. “There’s four of us now, so don’t be foolish. Wake one of us in a few hours, and we’ll take turns.”

  She nodded, though he could read the truth in her eyes. He looked at Colby and Darcy, giving each of them a hardened glare. While he admired her determination, she’d truly met her match if she thought she could outmaneuver them with her stubborn streak. In Afghanistan, they’d spent days in the same square footage of space, waiting for a single target to emerge. A few days of cat and mouse wasn’t going to deter them, not when it meant the difference between life and existence.

  Chapter Four

  Abby closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against one of the windows. Even through the thin curtain, the glass felt cold, and she wondered if she’d ever truly feel warm again. She sighed, listening to the sounds of the men sleeping. Soft snuffling noises intermixed with the occasional rustle of blankets. It’d been the same scenario for the past four nights. She’d insist on taking first watch then neglect to wake one of them until damn near dawn. She knew the men were getting more than a bit frustrated, but they had yet to call her on it.

  She squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose before releasing a weary breath. She was tired, and it wasn’t just physically. Since the boys had arrived, she’d been forced to examine how withdrawn she’d become over the past six months. Always alone. Never hearing another voice, let alone feeling a hand on hers. And now she was faced with three. Three handsome faces always giving her a smile. Three sets of hands that always seemed to brush against her during the day, whether innocently or not. Three men that battled against the walls she’d built as a means of survival. Only the strong survived, and caring was a weakness. One that scared her more than facing a hundred Gray.

  It’d only been sheer luck they hadn’t tried to convince her to leave yet. Whether their increased numbers had attracted the zombies or it was just bad timing, the horde hadn’t dissipated near enough to chance an escape, even using the vehicles on the far side for cover. But it was only a matter of time. While her head told her she didn’t have a choice—that to stay spelled certain death—she couldn’t begin to imagine how she’d cope with being in a room full of people when she could barely face three. She groaned inwardly, suddenly aware of how much she’d changed. How little remained of the woman she’d left behind in New Mexico.

  She chanced a quick glance at the men. Who was she kidding? It wasn’t a room full of people that frightened her—it was them. The way they made her insides flip-flop with nothing more than a smile. They were slowly breaking through her barriers, daring her to cross another one of her lines. Daring her to do more than simply care.

  The thought made her stomach drop. They were recon specialists. They’d mentioned it enough times over the past few days to drill the notion into her head. They searched for survivors and eliminated threats. Sure, she’d be ‘safe’ at the compound they’d talked about, but they wouldn’t. Who knew how long they’d actually stay before leaving on another mission, taking what was left of her heart with them. And where would that leave her? To be pawned off to the first three or four men that showed an interest? She’d overheard them discussing the “female situation” the previous night, and knew that she’d be expected to adapt…to eventually agree to a multiple partner relationship. But she didn’t want four other guys. She wanted them, and the simple fact that they wouldn’t be a part of her life once they left the tower made her feel sick.

  She palmed her face in her hands. She needed to stay strong, separate, before anything left worth saving inside her vanished with them.

  “So this is what you do all night. Looks like some pretty deep thinking for two a.m.”

  The voice startled her, and she slipped off the counter and onto her feet before the words faded into silence. She spun around, catching Darcy’s gaze. He’d propped himself up on one elbow, his large physique nothing more than a ghostly shadow in the dark. A sudden ray of moonlight filtered through a crack in the blankets, illuminating his face for one glorious moment. High cheekbones accentuated by large, brown eyes, and a square jaw gleamed in the splash of light before fading back into gray as the glow vanished.

  Her heart seemed to trip, skipping a few beats before finding a restless rhythm. She inhaled, hoping he didn’t notice the sudden raspy edge to her breath, only to sigh when his head tilted. Even in the dark, she knew he was studying her, watching her every movement as if the simple actions might give him answers to the questions none of them had asked her yet. But she didn’t need to read their minds to know their patience was waning.

  She offered him a tight smile. “The dead have already risen. I don’t think there’re that many serious conundrums left to figure out.”

  “Then why don’t you ever wake us so you can get some sleep?” He gave her body a long, slow sweep before sighing. “I realize you don’t completely trust us yet, but I’d like to think we’ve demonstrated that we can be…trusted.”

  She leaned against the counter, absently toeing at t
he floor. “I just prefer to sleep in shifts. An hour here and there. With everything that’s happened, it’s not wise to get too comfortable.” She pointed at the windows. “Not as long as there’s one of them still walking this Earth.”

  Darcy tossed aside his blanket, rolling to his feet with ease. Another splash of moonlight illuminated the flex of his muscles as he shifted his weight, his bare chest bright against the surrounding darkness. Dips and curves shone in the ethereal glow, accentuating every taut inch of him.

  “I agree. But there’s getting comfortable, and then there’s relying on someone to have your back. Colby, Barrett and I have your back, whether you want to acknowledge it of not. Any of us would stand between you and those things in a heartbeat. No hesitations. No regrets.”

  The tight feeling in her chest increased, making it hard to do more than breathe. He was serious. She could see it in the easy way he regarded her as if they were merely talking about the weather. Colby and Barrett had given her similar expressions over the past couple of days when discussing equally tenuous topics, and she didn’t know how to answer them. Why they seemed so willing to lay down their lives for her.

  She drew a deep breath, hoping her voice didn’t crack. “I understand that the three of you are soldiers, but…what makes my life more valuable than yours?”

  He seemed confused as he stared at her. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “Is it because I can breed? Is that what this boils down to?”

  She cursed her impetuous tongue. She hadn’t breached that subject for a reason, yet her brain didn’t seem to understand. Darcy’s body stiffened, his hands tightening into fists at his side. He glanced at the two men still sleeping beside him, looking as if he was considering waking them.

  A frown creased his lips as he took a step forward, encasing his frame in shadows again. “Is that what you think? That we’re only interested in saving you so we can take you back to the compound and use you like some sort of brood mare? Do you really think that little of us?”

  “Well what the hell am I supposed to think? For the past four days, all the three of you have talked about is getting me back to this command center of yours, which might I add sounds an awful lot like some sort of military prison to me. Do you think I missed the part where the men outnumber the women by nearly four to one? That the idea of a traditional coupling is as extinct as the human race might be? We both know this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the greater good.” She tried to swallow past the fear constricting her throat. “What if I don’t want to go? What if I don’t want to be forced to breed with three or four men I’ve never met?”

  Darcy took another step closer but didn’t try to touch her. “We never said—”

  “I don’t have to be a genius to do the math, Darcy. I know a thing or two about evolution and genetics. I’m fully aware of what’s required to keep a species alive.” She turned away. “I’m just not sure I can do it.”

  A moment of silence passed before his hand curled around her shoulder. She fought the urge to pull away, not that there was anywhere to go that he couldn’t simply follow her. And she had a bad feeling he wouldn’t let the discussion drop this time.

  More footsteps sounded behind her before Darcy spun her around, only now she wasn’t facing just him. Barrett and Colby flanked either side—an impenetrable line of male muscle. Damn, they were light sleepers. She’d barely raised her voice, yet all three were standing in front of her, identical frowns tightening their mouths as they stood there, watching her. She tensed her jaw. She’d faced far worse in the previous year than three stubborn men, and she wasn’t about to back down.

  Darcy released her shoulder, crossing his arms on his massive chest. His biceps flexed, making him appear even more imposing. “Perhaps we could get a chance to explain the situation before you condemn us.”

  She held her head up high. “So you’re saying I’m not a commodity?” She huffed. “Don’t insult my intelligence. Even minus the fact I’m a woman, I’m also a doctor…”

  Colby raised an eyebrow.

  “Veterinarian…close enough. And I’m betting ninety-nine percent better than the majority of folks you have at this compound, medically speaking.” She crossed her arms on her chest, praying the stance would give her strength. “I’m not naive, gentlemen. I know the kind of world we’re living in now. While I would gladly do everything within my ability to help people, despite the fact they’re not my specialty, I won’t become some sort of vessel for procreation of the species because what’s left of our military thinks it’s for the best.” She held their gazes. “So if that’s the reason you’re ‘rescuing’ me then you might as well leave, ‘cause I won’t go.”

  She pushed through them, stalking to the other side of the room. God, what she wouldn’t give for a door to slam. Mumbled curses murmured behind her before she heard them move, closing in around her. She didn’t flinch, knowing in her heart they’d never hurt her, though it wasn’t physical pain that scared her. Admitting her fears out loud had only served to heighten her awareness of how much she’d come to care for them in four days. But hell, four days in this world might as well have been four years and longer than some people had been blessed with.

  “Are you done?” Colby’s voice sounded loud in the silence, the anger in it impossible to miss.

  She glanced over her shoulder at him, noting the strained expression on his face. The sight only made her heart ache more. He didn’t need to talk. His answer was written on his face.

  He fidgeted as he waited for her response, finally scrubbing a hand down his face. “Fine. Then I’ll just talk, and you can listen.” He looked at the other two men as if gathering his strength. “Let’s deal with the part about you being a veterinarian first. Yes, you’re right. There’s close to eighty people in the compound and only one doctor. Turns out he’d given up his practice ten years ago and gone into research, so you can imagine that it’s been somewhat of an adjustment for him. His bedside manner could use some work. So yeah, you’d be a godsend, animal doc or not. I won’t lie.”

  He took a step closer. “As for your other observations. No one would ever force you into a situation you didn’t want, Abby. We’re not monsters.”

  She snorted, turning to lean against the wall in case her legs simply gave out. “So you’re saying I’ll be free to love whoever I wish if those feelings are returned?”

  The muscle in his temple flexed as he clenched his jaw. “It became painfully obvious several months ago that single bonding pairs weren’t going to work within this new society. There were simply too many people of breeding age who’d never be part of a coupling, and that had the potential to turn really ugly, really fast. Then there’s the genetic side of things. A gene pool that small would result in death to all of us. As a result, the men agreed to partner up with at least two others. If a woman wishes to engage in a relationship, then she does so with all the members of that group.” He held up his hand to stop her from talking. “But no one would ever force you into a mating. This isn’t about raping women. It’s about making educated and practical choices if someone chooses to.”

  She laughed, the sound hollow and rough. “So I don’t get to choose how I love just if I love, is that it?”

  Barrett moved forward, joining Colby. “Do you think this is easy on us? Despite what Hustler may have raved about years ago, I didn’t grow up fantasizing about sharing the woman I love with my two best friends. Maybe you should consider that before you get too judgmental.”

  Abby cocked her head to the side. “That argument would have a bit more weight to it if you three put your money where your mouths are. You’re recon specialists…that equates to no ties. There’s no way this command center of yours would risk all three people in a partnership, so it must mean the three of you haven’t chosen to participate in this ‘sustainable plan’ you’re boasting about. So don’t lecture me on giving it the college try, Barrett, until you’re willing to risk your heart.”


  Barrett growled, shifting his weight and pinning her to the wall before she could do more than gasp. One hand palmed the spot beside her head while the other boxed her in at her hip. Her breath caught on a hiss when her chest knocked against his, tightening her nipples into taut buds. All it took was a fleeting touch from any of them, and she was lost.

  His breath feathered over his shoulder as he leaned in, his lips dangerously close to hers. “And just what the hell do you think we’ve been doing these past four days? But as soon as any of us get remotely close, you rabbit. You’re as skittish as a damn deer that bolts at the hint of contact.” He bent his head, brushing his lips along her jaw. “Darcy and Colby are convinced you’re just not attracted to us, but not me.” He nipped at the shell of her ear. “I think it’s the exact opposite…that you are attracted. More than you’re willing to admit. And that’s what scares you.”

  Abby tensed as his mouth dropped to her shoulder, his teeth biting gently at the muscle just beneath the edge of her shirt. She tried to breathe, but he was too close, too hot. His lips moved to the sensitive spot behind her ear, drawing a raspy moan from deep inside her. She exhaled his name on a shaky whisper of air as her head fell back against the wall. God, when had a man ever felt this good? This right?

  He dropped a kiss on the edge of her jaw before pulling back, waiting until she finally lowered her head, her gaze clashing with his. His eyes held her spellbound, the desire in them darkening the vivid blue with a tinge of gunmetal. He tilted his head to the side, a hint of a smile curving one side of his mouth.

  “So which is it, love?”

  Abby drew a much-needed breath, wishing his spicy scent didn’t fill her head with images of them naked on the mattress together, the other men joining in. Hearing them talk over the past couple of days had started a chain reaction inside her mind, and she found it next to impossible to look at any of them without picturing the four of them entwined.