Eternal

by Pati Nagle

  “It’s early.”

  “Amanda—”

  “OK, but can I just stay with you a while? I missed you. I’ll just watch you rest.”

  He laughed softly, then gathered me into his arms. “I missed you too.”

  I closed my eyes and just concentrated on enjoying him. His arms around me—warm, now, not cold—his smell, the feel of his cheek against mine. We sat like that a long time.

  Finally we let go. I looked up at him and saw that while he no longer looked like death warmed over, he did look tired and in need of some grooming. I touched his braid, which had wisps sticking out all along its length.

  “May I brush it out for you?”

  “I have no brush.”

  “I’ll use mine. I’ll go get it.” I stood up.

  “Let me come with you. You should not walk outside alone.”

  That made me remember the alben. Would she come back tonight? I looked out at the plazuela, peaceful in the starlight.

  Savhoran got to his feet and held out his hand. I put mine in it, but he was still limping a little so I pulled his arm around my shoulders again and we walked to my room.

  He sat on my bed while I rummaged in my bag for my brush. Found it, sat behind him, and worked on undoing the narrow strip of soft leather that tied his hair. Took me a minute to get the knot undone. I set the leather aside and used my fingers to loosen the braid.

  Savhoran’s hair was soft and fine. As I worked it loose I saw a shock of white the width of my pinkie, and I gasped.

  “What is it?”

  I separated the white and draped it around in front of his shoulder. He touched it, then sighed.

  I hugged his back. “I still love you. I’ll always love you.”

  “Hush. We are not much more than strangers.”

  “We’re a lot more.”

  I pushed his hair aside and kissed the back of his neck. He inhaled sharply. I kept going, savoring the salty, slightly musky taste of his skin. Yes, he could use a bath. I didn’t care.

  He turned and caught my hands, kissed each one. “Dearest Amanda. Not now.”

  I swallowed my disappointment. “OK. I’ll just finish your hair.”

  I brushed it, gently working out the knots, enjoying its silkiness. The white all but disappeared when braided in with the rest of his hair. I wondered how long it would take the others to notice it.

  I tied the braid off with the leather. Savhoran stood, a little unsteadily.

  “Good night, Amanda.”

  I went with him to the door. “Can I visit you tomorrow? During the day, I mean. Or would it be bad to open your door?”

  “Just give me warning.”

  I threw my arms around him and held tight. He returned the embrace, holding me tight enough to convince me he didn’t consider me a stranger. Then he slipped away and limped down to his room. I watched until I heard the door close.

  The plazuela was still except for the fountain. Remembering the alben, I closed my door and locked it.

  I didn’t sleep very well, between worrying about the alben and wishing I was with Savhoran. At least I knew where he was. When I woke up I wanted to run down to his room that minute, but I resisted. I got dressed, and by the time I was ready, Len and Caeran were at my door.

  Nathrin and Mirali didn’t show for breakfast. Madóran was fixing a tray for them when we came in. Over breakfast Len said that Lomen and the others were on their way back; Caeran would pick them up in Las Vegas that afternoon.

  After eating too much, I worked with Madóran in the garden, though I would rather have been with Savhoran. Madóran had already seen him that day. He didn’t volunteer any details, and I didn’t ask. I decided not to bother Savhoran until after lunch. Madóran had plenty of stuff for us to do, watering and weeding, and tending the raspberry bushes he had growing toward the back of the house.

  The raspberry patch was as big as the whole vegetable garden, almost as big as the vineyard. North of it and west of the house, the orchard stretched toward the foothills, sloping down toward a river and up again on the far side, only ending when it ran up against the forest. I saw what looked like a ruin back there under the pines, and asked Madóran what it was.

  “A house, or rather the beginning of one. The work has been interrupted.”

  “Whose house? You’ve got a neighbor?”

  He glanced at me under the brim of his hat. “The clan is building it. I invited them to do so.”

  I looked back at the house to be. “So it’s on your land?”

  “I have more than enough room.”

  “How far does your property go, anyway?”

  He straightened and gazed toward the mountains. “Do you see that peak with the splash of aspens?”

  “The lighter green? Yeah.”

  “It is part of my land.”

  “Damn! That’s a lot of land!”

  “I received a grant in 1660. Over the years, I have acquired adjacent lands when my neighbors chose to sell.”

  He’d been here over three hundred years. Yeah, I guess you could collect a lot of land in that amount of time.

  We gave the raspberries a drink and went back in the house. “How do you harvest all the fruit from that orchard?” I asked as we put away hats and gloves.

  “I get help from the village. Fruit for labor.”

  I followed him into the kitchen where we each chugged a couple of glasses of water. I offered to help fix lunch. Madóran declined, so I went to my room to clean up. I brushed my teeth, showered, even washed my hair. It still wasn’t lunch time, so I gave in and went down the portal to Savhoran’s room.

  I stood in front of the door, debating whether I should leave him alone. I must have been thinking loud, because I heard him moving around.

  Come in.

  I opened the door and came face to face with a black, lacquered screen. Stepped in, pulled the door shut, and peeked around the screen.

  Savhoran was lounging on his bed, reading a book. I’d never seen him do that before; it made me feel hopeful. I went over to him, about to ask what the book was, but I saw ælven lettering on the cover and decided not to.

  It is the journal of a member of Clan Ebonwatch. Madóran thought I might gain some insight from it.

  Makes sense.

  I am not to read the final chapter, however. The author makes it her farewell; she decided to cross.

  Yeah, don’t read it.

  I sat in the chair next to his bed. He put the book aside and turned to me. I realized he was wearing different clothes: dark green cotton tunic and pants. Madóran must have offered to wash his other stuff.

  How’s the leg?

  Much better, thank you. Rest has made a great difference.

  His hair was loose over his shoulders, and looked clean. Both of us freshly bathed. Hmm.

  He smiled, and I realized I was still thinking too loud. “Sorry,” I said.

  I closed my eyes and tried to shield my thoughts. Too distracted. I could smell a familiar shampoo, the same I’d just used. I felt Savhoran’s hand on my shoulder and looked at him.

  He gave me a sweet kiss. I thought about the condoms sitting uselessly in my bag.

  What is that?

  Um, birth control.

  Savhoran backed off. I see.

  I can go get it. You’re not offended, are you?

  No.

  It’s not about the curse. I’d want birth control even if you didn’t have it. I’m not ready for kids.

  He gave a sad smile. Your people conceive much more easily than mine. We would never wish to prevent it.

  The moment of passion was completely dead by now. I sighed.

  I understand, Amanda.

  If I wanted kids, I would want you to be the father, OK?

  He looked away. A different father would be a better choice.

  Oh, jeez. Could I screw this up any worse?

  Someone who can be with you, help you raise the children.

  OK, these children are just theo
retical, right? You would be fine helping raise them.

  I could not play with them outside, nor take them for outings during the day.

  Neither of which is the end of the world.

  I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. I moved to the bed, crowding against him, and put my arms around him.

  I’m sorry I brought it up. Look, let’s just forget it, OK?

  He put his hand over mine. It is good that we spoke of this. It means we both care.

  Of course I care.

  He squeezed my hand. I closed my eyes, thinking how good it felt just to touch him. I was careful not to hide that thought.

  A knock on the door made me jump. We both straightened up.

  “Yes?” said Savhoran.

  “Is Amanda with you?” said Caeran through the door.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” I said.

  “Lunch is ready.”

  Crap. I turned to Savhoran. He looked amused.

  Go on.

  I’m coming back here after.

  All right.

  I kissed him, then went to the door. Len was waiting with Caeran. We walked across to the kitchen, where we found Nathrin and Madóran having a heated discussion.

  “She cannot stay in this house while he is here,” Nathrin said as we walked in. He glanced at me and I knew exactly what he was talking about.

  “And he cannot stay at the new house,” Madóran said. “It is not secure. He would be vulnerable.”

  I sat at the table, helped myself to lemonade from the pitcher there, and spent ten seconds carefully walling my self around with white light. If, as I suspected, Nathrin had suggested that Savhoran leave the hacienda, he wouldn’t have trouble guessing my opinion.

  They dropped the subject, which was just as well. Nathrin went off with the tray Madóran had fixed, and the rest came and joined me at the table.

  Lunch was gazpacho with bread and butter on the side. The cold soup was fantastic: salty, garlicky, and crunchy with cucumbers and tomatoes we’d picked that morning. I gobbled my bowl and said yes to seconds.

  “Nathrin and Mirali could stay at our place in Albuquerque,” Len said, buttering a piece of bread. “You wouldn’t mind, right Caeran?”

  “It is a good idea,” he said. “I will offer it to them.”

  “That is generous of you both,” Madóran said, “but will they be safe enough in Albuquerque? The alben knows where your house is, from what Savhoran told us.”

  “She is more interested in hunting us,” said Caeran.

  “How would they get there?” I asked. “By bus?”

  Caeran nodded. “I could take them to Las Vegas this afternoon, when I go to pick up the others.” He turned to Len, who already had her phone out, surfing the schedule.

  “I think the bus left already,” Len said. “Might have to be tomorrow.”

  I listened while they worked out the details, but my thoughts had already wandered back to Savhoran. I could stop by my room after lunch for the condoms—but no. Today was not the day, not after that discussion of parenthood.

  I swallowed, remembering Savhoran’s dismay over what he felt was inadequacy. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t go out in daylight. That wouldn’t make him a bad father.

  Not that I had any immediate desire for kids. My best friend in high school had gotten pregnant her junior year, and disappeared from school and from my life. I wanted some free years before I considered making a family.

  I came back to the present when the others got up from the table. Madóran turned down my halfhearted offer to help with the dishes. I went out with Caeran and Len, but stopped at Savhoran’s room, not mine. They didn’t comment.

  I spent the afternoon with Savhoran. We hugged and kissed a bit, but mostly we just talked. We skirted around dangerous topics. Instead we got better acquainted by sharing our pasts. I ran out of material first, of course. I had to nudge Savhoran to tell me more about himself.

  He had been with the clan—which was much bigger than just the folks who were here in New Mexico—all his life. Most of it he’d spent in remote forests in eastern Europe. When remote stopped being so remote any more, he and the others came to America, following a rumor that Madóran had gone west with the Spanish colonists.

  “Why were you interested in Madóran?” I asked. “Did any of you know him?”

  “Caeran’s mother knew him. She was his partner briefly, and remembered him fondly. The stories she told about him made Caeran want to meet Madóran.”

  “Is she still, um—”

  “She crossed a few years ago.”

  “What about your parents?”

  He shook his head. From the pain in his face, it was a bad story. I didn’t push for more.

  We cuddled on his bed, and I actually fell asleep. I woke to voices outside on the portal. Lomen, Bironan, and Faranin were back.

  We had supper in the great room again. Nathrin and Mirali stayed away, and the others talked about hunting the female alben. I was getting tired of listening to this kind of stuff.

  “OK, look,” I said when I couldn’t stand it any longer. “You need to get methodical about this.”

  They stared at me like I was a Martian. Faranin frowned. Ignoring him, I took out my phone and surfed up a list of news stories about Campus Killer II.

  “Let’s look at the facts. She’s killed four students now. All male. Those were food, but I’m different. She doesn’t attack me because she’s hungry.”

  “Vengeance,” Len said.

  “For what? What did I do to her?”

  “Not you, Caeran. He kept her from getting to you.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “So I was supposed to be food, and he prevented it, and she’s mad? She followed me all the way up here because of that?”

  Caeran didn’t say anything. I was pretty sure there was more to it, but he wasn’t going to help.

  “All right,” I said. “Let’s look at when and where she hunts. Maybe there’s a pattern.”

  “In Albuquerque,” Len said, “but she’s here now.”

  “She could go back. Maybe we should lead her back.”

  I scrolled through the news stories and made a list of the dates and locations where bodies had been found. Might not do any good, but at least I was doing something.

  “Three of the four victims were found on campus or near it,” I announced.

  The fourth was a short distance away—Roosevelt Park—but that was kind of scary close to Caeran’s house. Avoiding that, I added the attacks on me to the list.

  “Then she tried to jump me at the movie theater parking lot, the casino, and in the library bathroom.”

  “The first was spur-of-the-moment,” Len said. “She caught a whiff of you and ran to catch you.”

  “So could the second,” Lomen said. “She could have followed us to the casino, watched us sign up for the poker game and known we would be there later in the evening. All she had to do was hide in the restroom.”

  I nodded. “The library was trickier, but not much. She would have had to stalk me in the daytime to know I was working there.” I paused; that thought kind of freaked me out. Took a sip from my water glass.

  “Once she knew that, again, all she had to do was hide out in the restroom,” said Caeran.

  I was never going in a public restroom again unless I had a friend along and a can of pepper spray in my hand.

  I looked over the whole list. “She only hunts me when she isn’t hungry.”

  Caeran nodded. “It makes sense. Hunger distracts her, weakens her. She plans her hunting for sustenance at times and locations where she is safe.”

  “Where is she least safe?” I asked.

  “In a large crowd of people. Outdoors in daylight.”

  I thought wistfully of an endless baseball game. It would be the perfect hideout.

  “So…the best time to hunt her would be when she is hungry. Because then she will probably be somewhere near campus or University Heights.” I glanced at the dates
in my list. “Looks like that’s about every two weeks.”

  “But she is here now, not on campus,” said Lomen.

  “Yeah, and she’s not hungry. Well, since we don’t know how she behaves under those circumstances, I suggest we go back to where we do know how she behaves. Back to Albuquerque.”

  The ælven exchanged long looks. Caeran shrugged.

  “It would get her away from Mirali.”

  They proceeded to go over my entire argument again, pulling it apart, trying to find flaws. I told them, on demand, the dates of the killings. I was getting annoyed at their method of problem-solving, so when the meal was over I headed back to Savhoran’s room. I had only been there for a short while—long enough for the sun to set—when Madóran and Len knocked on the door, wanting to give Savhoran another treatment.

  I could go back to my room, or hang out in the great room and listen to the men arguing. Despite the annoyance factor, I opted for the great room. Didn’t really feel like being alone.

  Savhoran walked me to the door and gave me a long kiss that set my thighs tingling.

  Come get me when you’re done, I told him.

  He smiled, kissed me again, and left. I watched him walk around to the treatment room and go in.

  Caeran was still sitting at the table with the other three. He glanced up as I passed on my way to the couch. With no Len to talk to, I got bored pretty fast and wandered out into the entryway where I could look through the window out at the plazuela.

  The alben had jumped down into it last night. Pretty bold, but then Savhoran had surprised her and she took off. She would never have come into the plazuela if she’d known he was around. He’d almost had her.

  Twilight was fading into evening. I just saw vague shapes of bushes, and the fountain. She could be hiding out there for all I knew.

  A pounding on the front door made me jump. I turned, wondering if I should go find Madóran—except he didn’t like being bothered when he was working. I took a few steps toward the door and the pounding came again.

  Caeran came out of the great room. “Stay back,” he said, going to the door.

  There was a little hatch in the door, like in old comedy movies of speakeasies. Caeran opened it and looked out. I heard a man’s voice speaking Spanish; something about chickens. Caeran answered him, then opened the door and went out.