Eternal

by Pati Nagle

  “Perhaps tomorrow. He is still rather weak.”

  “What did she do to him, anyway?”

  Madóran‘s expression went grim. “She fed on his khi. It is against our creed to do so, but the alben do not follow the creed.”

  “Except Savhoran.”

  “I do not consider Savhoran alben.”

  That made me feel good. “Does he know that?” I asked.

  “I suppose I have not said so. I assumed he knew.”

  “Tell him. Please.”

  He nodded. “You are right, I should. And now you would like to see Len, I imagine.”

  He walked across the room to another door. I followed him through it into a smaller room with a couch and a couple of chairs, lit by candles. Madóran went to another door in the right hand wall and knocked.

  “Len? Amanda is here.”

  Len opened the door and grabbed me in a huge hug. We sat together on her and Caeran’s bed and talked through everything. She had actually helped Madóran treat the alben.

  “He was in really tough shape,” she said. “I wasn’t sure he’d make it. Madóran gave him a lot of energy and he’s still weak.”

  “I’m feeling confused about him. I mean, he did try to whammy us right at first, but he also saved my butt this morning.”

  Len smiled. “He’s all right, I think. Madóran isn’t nervous about him. Of course, Madóran wants to think the best of everyone.”

  We kept talking until I noticed Len was yawning a lot. I stood up.

  “Guess I should go—let you get some sleep.”

  “Stay if you want.”

  I hesitated. “Won’t Caeran mind?”

  “He’ll be out all night. You missed a big rally meeting. They did everything but beat drums and put on war paint.”

  She got up and fetched two jumbo t-shirts from the dresser. “Night shirt,” she said, handing me one.

  We climbed into bed together and kept talking. Gradually Len drifted to sleep, and I lay there listening to her breathing, grateful not to be alone.

  I slept too, even though I’d had a long nap. Stress will do that to you.

  I dreamed about the alben guy. He brought me a big bouquet of roses. Savhoran was jealous. I held the roses close to smell them and pricked my finger on a thorn. The alben guy grinned.

  I woke with a start. Dark in the room, but there was a little light leaking in around the window curtains. Len was still asleep, so I held still and listened to birds chirping out in the garden. Finally I got up and pulled on my clothes.

  Len rolled over. “Hm?”

  “Gotta pee. Go back to sleep.”

  I wasn’t quite brave enough to go all the way around to my room on the plazuela, so I went through the sitting room and knocked on Madoran’s door. No answer. I opened the door a crack.

  The room was empty. Pale light filtered through gauze at the windows; heavier drapes were pulled aside. I resisted the urge to explore and went through to the far door. In the hallway by the utility room was another bathroom. I used it, then went to the kitchen to peek out the window.

  The sun wasn’t up yet. Everything was shaded blue with the pre-dawn light. The garden was just as beautiful as always in this half-shadowed state. As I stood admiring it, I heard the front door open and close.

  The hunters were home. I was just wearing panties and Len’s shirt. I beat it back to her bedroom and scrambled into my clothes.

  Len sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What’s up?”

  “They’re back.”

  She slid out of bed and got dressed, and together we went back to the kitchen. Madóran was there, cooking up a huge breakfast of huevos, chorizo, and fresh-made tortillas. He instantly recruited us to help. Len filled the tea kettle while I cut up cantaloupe. Before I was done the clan straggled in.

  They looked tired and disappointed. No one asked; there was no need.

  Len poured tea for them. I carried the plate of melon to the table and they all reached for it, even Savhoran. I watched, fascinated, while he ate the first solid food I’d seen him consume since he’d come down with the curse.

  They were going through the melon fast, so I went and cut up another one. By that time Madóran had the eggs and sausage ready, and the guys lined up at the counter, except for Savhoran. He headed for the great room. I followed and caught up with him in the entryway.

  “Hey,” I said. “I missed you.”

  He glanced at the windows and beckoned me into the great room, where he caught me in a fierce hug. I hugged him back, breathing in the smell of him.

  “You’ll get her.”

  He sighed. “We found where she spent the day up a tree. She must have been badly sun-poisoned. We tracked her deep into the mountains, then her trail just disappeared.”

  “Maybe she quit and went home.”

  “She will not quit.”

  I leaned back and stroked his cheek. He looked strained.

  “You need to hunt for yourself,” I said, then bit my lip, afraid he’d be angry. He just looked depressed.

  I kissed him all over his face, and finally he kissed me back. My loins started to tingle.

  He pulled back. “The sun will rise soon. I need to get to my room.”

  “Can I come with you?”

  “You may walk with me there.”

  I settled for that. He really did look exhausted. At the door to the portal, he peered warily out before going through it. He hurried to his room, two doors down, and went inside fast. I almost didn’t make it through the door before he slammed it.

  The room was dark. I blinked, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

  “You should go,” he said. “You are hungry.”

  “It’s OK.”

  “No, it is not. Your hunger sharpens mine.”

  “Oh! I’m sorry!” I reached for the door. “Can I come back later?”

  “Not today, love.”

  Love. I shivered. I reached out for him, groping because I couldn’t see. He folded me in his arms, sweet and gentle. I wanted to stay there forever.

  Amanda.

  Boom, he was there, sexy and tired and incredibly hungry. So bad it hurt.

  All, right, I’ll go. I just don’t want to. You know, we need to make a date to spend some time together without worrying about anything.

  Until we catch the alben—

  Yeah, I know.

  I kissed him, then turned and felt my way to the door. “See you.”

  I walked around the portal to the kitchen, caution be damned. I was full of conflicting feelings. Sick of hiding, sick of waiting for the clan to catch the alben, and really sick of not having any quality time with Savhoran. I looked through the glass across the plazuela at his door, then went back to the kitchen.

  Len was making more tortillas. The guys were lining up for seconds, and Madóran was cracking more eggs. I got in line behind them and got the last of round two. Looked at Len, who smiled and handed me a hot tortilla.

  “I’ve had some,” she said. “Want tea?”

  I nodded, mouth already full. She poured mugs for both of us and refilled Madoran’s, then she and I brought spare chairs over to the table and squished in. We all sat with elbows bumping and chairs crammed together. Nobody minded.

  There was no discussion of what to do next. Granted, the guys were busy eating, but there was a sense of hopelessness in the air.

  Madóran brought the cast-iron skillet full of eggs over and put it in the center of the table. He helped himself to a portion, took a tortilla from the basket, and leaned against the wall by the window to eat.

  “We should go back to Albuquerque,” I said. “We know her pattern there.”

  “It might be better to adopt a defensive strategy,” Madóran said, poking at his eggs with his fork. “You all could use some rest. Perhaps remaining here for a few days would benefit you.”

  “Perhaps,” Bironan said, “But we will post watchers. Shifts of two.”

  “One in the courtyard, one in front?” Lomen a
sked.

  Bironan nodded. I had a feeling he wasn’t including Savhoran in the plan. The thought made me mad but I kept it to myself. It wasn’t a time for quarrels.

  “What if she starts killing your neighbors?” I said to Madóran.

  He gave me a pained look, but said nothing. I took a pull at my tea, gathering courage to make a suggestion. I’d been thinking of it ever since my impromptu hike, and while it made my belly go cold, I thought I had to offer.

  “Maybe we should set a trap with me as the bait,” I said. “I could go outside—”

  “Oh, no,” Len said. “We tried that last fall. Not a good idea.”

  “This is not Gehmanin,” Madóran said quietly.

  “Still not a good idea. She’s evil,” Len said.

  “I’ve seen grad students who were worse,” I said.

  I meant it as a joke, but it fell horribly flat. They all stared, and I felt my face going red.

  “What we must do is determine what she wants,” Madóran said. “then we can either give it to her, or offer her a compromise.”

  Caeran frowned. “She wants Amanda.”

  Faranin shook his head. “Vengeance.”

  “For what?” I asked.

  Long pause. Madóran put his plate on the corner of the table. He looked a little ill.

  “For Gehmanin’s death,” he said.

  Everyone was silent.

  I knew less about the whole Gehmanin thing than the rest of them. The one thing I did know was that it was the biggest event that had happened since the clan first came to New Mexico.

  “It would help, then, to know who she is,” Caeran said.

  Madóran sighed. “There are those we can contact to ask. I have not kept in touch with them, but some of you may know them.”

  Faranin shifted. “I know a few with kindred among the alben.”

  “Yes.”

  “They do not use … human technology. One of us would have to travel to contact them.”

  “No,” Caeran said. “We need everyone here.”

  The discussion started going in circles. I got up and began clearing empty plates. Len came and joined me and we cleaned up the kitchen while the others argued. Finally the clan left to go look for clues in Madóran‘s library, leaving Madóran sitting alone at the table.

  He looked dejected. Len brought him a fresh mug of tea. He still hadn’t finished his breakfast.

  We sat with him and waited. Finally he sighed.

  “I have not wanted to rekindle old ties. I severed them purposely when I came here.”

  “You don’t have to,” Len said.

  “Not even to resolve this?”

  “They’ll catch her or she’ll get bored and go away. One or the other, eventually.”

  “I would like to believe that.”

  I didn’t have anything to add. I looked out at the garden, wishing it didn’t feel like no man’s land. Middle of the day, and I was scared to go out there.

  “Um, Madóran? Could we maybe go see the, ah—the guy?”

  “Pirian? Yes, I should check on him. If you are willing to leave should I ask it, you may come with me.”

  “Sure.”

  We walked Len to her room first, then went around the portal to the treatment room. Madóran put his hands on the door and stood there for a minute, then nodded and opened it.

  A chill of confusion went through me: fear at the sight of the alben warring with the amazing sexiness of him. Even lying sick in bed, even with the white hair that screamed “danger,” he radiated attraction. It must have been a natural gift.

  His eyes were closed. Madóran went the the foot of the bed and stood there. After a moment, the alben looked up at him, then at me. I glanced away.

  “Pirian, this is Amanda,” Madóran said. “She has something to say to you.”

  I dared to look at the alben again. One of his eyebrows was higher, and the feeling his gaze gave me wasn’t nice this time. I wanted to run like a frightened deer. He was hungry.

  I looked at my feet and cleared my throat. “I don’t know why you came to the cave,” I said, “but you pretty much saved me, I think. So I wanted to thank you.”

  “I had no intention of saving you,” he said. His voice was rough.

  “I know,” I told him. “I’m still grateful.”

  He laughed, which made me look up again. “The hen is grateful to the fox.”

  I didn’t like being mocked. All at once I was no longer bothered by his pheromones.

  I glared at him. “Who is she?”

  He gave me a measuring look. “Her name is Kanna, though that means little to you.”

  I heard Madóran draw a sharp breath. Ignored it and kept my gaze on Pirian.

  “What does she want?”

  “I should think that was obvious.”

  “But why? She’s gone to way more trouble than she’d need to get a meal.”

  “True.” He went into a coughing fit. Madóran propped him up with pillows and gave him a glass of water from the nightstand.

  I crossed my arms and stood waiting. I was mad. Underneath I was still scared, but damned if I was going to let it show.

  Madóran said something to him in ælven. Pirian’s answer was no; I caught that much. He drank some more water, then lay back on the pillows and looked at me through his eyelashes.

  “She is kin to Gehmanin.”

  I glanced at Madóran. His turn to stare at the floor.

  “So she’s here for him?” I asked.

  “She lost contact with him. She is convinced that Caeran is responsible.”

  “What?” I said. “Why Caeran?”

  “Apparently Gehmanin told her that Caeran was his enemy.”

  Madóran said something in ælven again. I really needed to study some more. I hated being left out.

  Pirian frowned and didn’t answer. I got the feeling he didn’t like what Madóran had said.

  “So why did you go to the cave?” I asked.

  Pirian’s gaze shifted to me. “To share with Kanna the news that Gehmanin is dead. She was … unhappy.”

  I remembered how unhappy. The phrase “don’t kill the messenger” came to mind.

  “So now she wants to kill everybody here?”

  “I believe she is now focused on Madóran.”

  I narrowed my eyes. My gut told me that Pirian had told her something to make her fix on Madóran. If Madóran was hurt because of him…

  “What about you?” I asked him. “Are you on her side?”

  “I am on no one’s side. I meant to end it by telling Kanna what happened to Gehmanin. I thought she would be inclined to give up her vengeance, but it seems I misjudged her.”

  He started coughing again. Madóran gave me a look and I left, closing the door softly behind me.

  I was out on the portal alone. Middle of the day, but it still gave me the creeps. I ducked into the my room and got my pepper spray and returned to the treatment room, standing there staring at the door, listening for any sound of trouble. After a minute I heard Madoran’s voice, speaking ælven.

  I went back to my room, closed the door, sat on the bed. And realized I’d rather be with Savhoran.

  I argued with myself for a while. I should leave him alone—let him rest—but I didn’t want to.

  I shoved the pepper spray in my pocket and went out again.

  Savhoran’s room was two doors down from mine. I took a slow breath and looked out at the garden. It was peaceful. No one there, no one on the roof that I could see.

  I walked to Savhoran’s room and leaned my head against the door, as if I could do whatever Madóran had done earlier, which I didn’t even know what it was. After a minute I felt so stupid I decided to just knock and apologize if I disturbed Savhoran. I was raising my hand when he called to me to come in.

  I went in and he closed the door. No light in the room. I felt my way around the screen and stepped past it, but my eyes hadn’t adjusted and I was afraid of tripping over something. I stoo
d still.

  I heard a small sound like cloth moving, then his arms were around me. I buried my face in his chest and took a deep breath.

  “Hope I didn’t bother you,” I said.

  For answer he kissed me. My hormones flared and I plastered myself against him. After a minute he gently guided me to the bed. To my disappointment, we just sat on it. He snaked his fingers through mine.

  I felt hungry. It confused me, because breakfast hadn’t been that long ago, then I realized it was probably Savhoran’s hunger leaking over to me.

  I found his face and kissed it. “You need food.”

  “I will hunt tonight. Perhaps the others will wait for me.”

  “They’re not going out tonight. Change in strategy; they’re going defensive, at least for a few days.”

  He sighed. “She may get away.”

  “So? If she leaves, good riddance.”

  His thumb stroked the back of my hand. I snuggled closer.

  “But we will always worry that she will return,” he said. “We must stop her now. It is the only way.”

  “She’s here after Madóran,” I told him. I was hoping to distract him from his own vendetta.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Pirian told me.”

  Savhoran grabbed my shoulders—a bit roughly, though he didn’t quite shake me. “You talked to Pirian?”

  “Madóran was there,” I said hastily. “I just wanted to thank the guy for giving me the chance to escape.”

  “I wish you had waited for me.”

  “I kind of wanted to get it over with. He gives me the creeps.”

  Savhoran let go, only to put his arm around me. “He is dangerous. He does not wish you well.”

  “Yeah, I got that impression.”

  He squeezed my shoulders, then after a minute he said, “Why is she after Madóran?”

  “She—her name is Kanna, by the way—she’s related to Gehmanin. He told her he was coming to see Madóran, and Pirian told her Gehmanin’s dead. She must have put two and two together and come up with five.”

  Savhoran didn’t say anything for a long time. Thinking, I figured. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He kissed me, so sweetly I felt like crying, then drew back.

  You should go.

  I didn’t want to. I took a breath, hugged him tight, then got up and stumbled my way to the door. I bumped into the screen and almost knocked it over.