Cruel Temptation: An Age Gap Romance (Cruel Beauty Trilogy Book 1)

by C Standing

  “And do you? Feel like you’ve earned me?”

  Picking up my steak knife, I cut into the meat, watching the juice ooze out. “I don’t ever want to feel like I’ve earned you, sweetheart. The day I stop doing everything in my power to make you happy and keep you by my side, is the day you need to walk away.”

  Her eyes glint with an unknown emotion as she stops her fork mid-twirl. “Rick... that’s crazy talk.”

  Reaching across the table, my thumb brushes her knuckle. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”

  She swallows hard. “You know I can’t tell you that.”

  Goddammit.

  We lock eyes for a good minute, and I’m about to say fuck it all and take her back to my place so I can finish what she started earlier. How does she expect me to sit here and act natural, when all I can think about is laying her beautiful body over this table and feasting on her until we are both spent with exhaustion?

  Feeling her fall apart on my lips or around my fingers is by far the single sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed, but I want more. I want to make her come again and again. I want her dizzy with pleasure and high on orgasms. I want to hear her scream my name as she clenches around my cock. I want to feel her sweat-slicked body move as one with mine. I want to see the beauty on her face as I help her find her release. I want to watch those incredible tits bounce as she rides me.

  I want every fucking thing.

  Settling for anything less is not an option.

  My groin pulses uncomfortably, and I shift in my seat.

  “Let me take you back to my apartment,” I husk.

  Just as River opens her mouth to respond, the waitress comes over with a charcuterie board.

  I can’t catch a fucking break.

  Breaking our connection, River fiddles with the fork beside her glass.

  Before River came to my apartment and gave me the chance I’ve been looking for, it had been a while since I’d been sexual with anyone.

  I’m talking a long damn time.

  Somehow, the act became had become predictable and monotonous. Over the years, I’ve developed certain... fantasies. Finding a woman who’s open-minded enough to try new things and get a little unconventional is extremely difficult.

  Most of the women I spend time with seem to find my… particular tastes rather unsettling and disturbing, so I’ve been hesitant to try them with anyone else.

  I’m a fifty-one-year-old guy, who’s had many years of indulging in the female body, but after a while, standard sex becomes extremely fucking dull.

  Until her.

  The last few days, she’s given sex a whole new meaning. She’s given me the chance to unleash the beast raging inside of me. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of the night buried deep inside her, making her mine until her very essence embeds itself in my soul.

  “Patience,” she whispers as the waitress leaves us to our meal. “Eat your food.”

  Patience, my fucking ass. I want her, and I want her now.

  “You’re lucky this igloo is see-through, otherwise, the only thing I’d be eating is you.”

  Blushing, River takes a piece of bread from the board and dips it in the oil. “Let’s change the subject.”

  I smirk as she bites her lip.

  Fair enough.

  “I have a question for you,” River mumbles, mid-chew.

  “Shoot.” I pick up a fry and throw it into my mouth.

  “You’ve probably figured that I’m younger than you.” Licking the oil from her fingers, she takes a napkin and wipes her hands clean. “Why haven’t you asked about my age?”

  Honestly? I couldn’t give a shit about her age.

  Does that make me sick and twisted?

  A cradle snatcher?

  Maybe.

  As long as she’s legal, the rest is just semantics.

  I couldn’t care less.

  River gets me—understands me—and that’s more than enough for me. I’m not the type of guy to get hung up over something as trivial as age difference.

  If I want something, I go after it, all guns blazing.

  And the only thing I want is her.

  “I couldn’t give less of a shit about your age,” I say, running my thumb over her knuckles.

  “It doesn’t bother you that there could be a significant age gap between us?”

  Lifting a casual shoulder, I shake my head. “Should it?” Leaning forward, I brush my lips across her ear, taking pride in the way she trembles under my touch. “Baby, I don’t think about age or numbers when I’m with you. I see you as my equal, and I always will.”

  Her cheeks glow as she timidly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Maybe I’ve read too many romance novels, I don’t know. But it’s just always the guy who’s hung up over the fact that the girl could be young enough to be his daughter.” Her eyes find mine. “I guess I was just wondering if you felt that way about me.”

  I chuckle softly as I palm her cheek. “Sweetheart, I have a daughter, and trust me when I say, the things I feel for you aren’t even in the same fucking universe as what I feel for her.” I lightly nuzzle her nose. “She’s my daughter, but you are my girl.”

  Her face lights up at the mention of Skylar. “You have a daughter?”

  “I do, her name’s Skylar. She’s three and a total spitfire.” I laugh wistfully, and then pause as I draw small circles on her hand, contemplating my next words.

  I’m not afraid of how strong my feelings are for River. I want her in every aspect of my life, and that includes meeting my kids. But I’m fucking terrified I’ll move too fast and push her away.

  “She’d love you,” I murmur, chancing a look up into her eyes.

  River’s quiet for moment—too quiet—and my stomach sinks like a lead balloon.

  Fuck. I knew it.

  She’s not ready.

  Why would she be? We’ve only known each other a few days.

  But in the next second, she shocks the hell out of me by gripping the front of my shirt and pulling me in close. “I’m sure I’d love her, too.” Her sweet breath drifts across my lips.

  Fuck, I want to run my tongue along those perfect lips and taste the strawberry lip-gloss she applied before we left.

  So I do.

  All too soon, she’s pulling back, and leaving me desperate for more as her lips lightly skim mine. “Let’s eat before our food gets cold.”

  Yes, lets.

  The quicker we finish our food, the sooner I can have her to myself.

  We’re sitting on the large U-shaped couch on Rick’s balcony, wrapped in a large, thick blanket, and listening to the soothing crackling sounds emanating from the white marble fire pit. Beautiful red and orange flames lick up, warming me from the inside out as the already freezing temperatures drop even lower.

  I snuggle further into his arms, draping my legs over his. “Thank you for such a beautiful night.”

  Sam Smith’s “Fire on Fire” plays quietly in the background as he trails the tips of his fingers lovingly up and down my arm.

  After our meal by Rockefeller Center, we took a moonlit carriage ride through Central Park, and along Fifth Avenue, taking in all the colorful holiday lights and festive decorations.

  New York is truly stunning at Christmas, but it’s nothing compared to the handsome man cradling me against him.

  Drawing me in tighter, Rick presses a lingering kiss to my temple. “The night is still young, baby.”

  Butterflies swarm my stomach and my anxiety spikes.

  Casting my gaze over toward the roaring fire pit, I idly stroke small patterns across the top of his hand, my mind slowly drifting off into deep thought.

  A mixture of apprehension and anticipation swirls low in my stomach at the hidden message behind his words. We’ve only known each other for a matter of days, and while we’ve been intimate in other ways, we’re yet to take that final step.

  I won’t lie and say I’m not nervous.

  While I’m not a virgin,
it’s not like I have a tons of experience under my belt. The last time I had sex was over ten years ago. I don’t want to fall short or not measure up to any expectations he may have.

  I’m not blind. I know given his age and the fact he’s easily the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen, he won’t have been short on lovers over the years, and I don’t want to feel like I’ve let him down or I’m somehow inadequate compared to the other women he’s been with.

  As narcissistic as it sounds, I want to be the best he’s ever had. I want to rock his world and obliterate the memory of every woman he’s had before me.

  Tonight, Rick’s given me some truly incredible memories, and now I want to give him one in return.

  “Hey,” he murmurs, gently guiding my face toward his and slowly bringing me back to reality. “Everything okay?” Concern is evident in his features.

  Realizing I’ve been lost in my thoughts a little too long, I pull up my big girl panties and slap on a fake smile. “Sorry, just lost in my own head there for a second.”

  Those gorgeous green eyes of his squint suspiciously. Darting back and forth between mine and my mouth, he silently searches for answers I’m not giving.

  Not satisfied with my evasive brush off, Rick angles himself so he’s facing me, buries a hand in my hair, and trails a thumb across my lip. “Talk to me.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I swallow hard and avert my eyes.

  Despite the bullshit front I gave him when we first met, I can’t find it in me to look him in the eyes when I admit what I’m about to say. The years I’ve spent conditioning myself to snuff out any and all weakness, have me finding it damn near impossible to open up to him.

  But if I want whatever’s happening between us to last beyond this week, I need to find a way to let him in.

  Dammit.

  Wringing my fingers together, I inhale a deep breath, and take the first step toward conquering this insurmountable obstacle.

  I won’t let it beat me.

  I’m stronger than that.

  “I’m nervous.” The confession tastes like acid on my tongue. I hate myself for letting this raw and vulnerable side of me show through. “You make me nervous.”

  There’s a tenderness—a warmth—in his eyes that cuts me to my very core. “I make you nervous?” The thumb caressing my lip moves to my jawline. “Why?”

  I wet my lips and summon the courage to meet his eyes.

  Come on. “Because you’ve given me such an amazing day…” I let my words loiter between us for a moment, my heart hammering against my chest as my finger aimlessly toys with the button on his shirt. “Now… I want to give you an amazing night.”

  Rick’s eyes widen and darken as he absorbs my meaning.

  “Baby.” The urgent rasp in his voice has my stomach twisting in knots. “You’ve already given me an amazing night just by being here.”

  Nodding, I smile and press my finger to his lips. “You’re sweet for saying that.” I take his mouth in an affectionate kiss, cherishing the way he’s quick to ease my worries. “But I… I want this,” I assure him. “I want you. It’s just… been a while for me.” I chuckle, sheepishly.

  Clenching his eyes shut, Rick’s handsome face contorts in agony, and he brings his forehead to mine. “Sweetheart, don’t do that. Don’t put pressure on yourself for me. I won’t deny that I want you with every fiber of my body, but I meant what I said at the restaurant: nothing has to happen tonight. We go at your speed, River. You’re setting the pace here.”

  I cup his cheek, awestruck by his selflessness, and feeling surprisingly unperturbed by how dangerously close I am to falling in love with this man. “Don’t misunderstand me, City Boy, I want this. I just need you to know that I’m not as… experienced as some of the other women you’ve been with.” The coarse bristles of his groomed beard are rough against my palm. “I just… don’t want to disappoint you.”

  Groaning, he lifts me onto his lap, and I straddle his waist as he adjusts the blanket around us. “River, I need you to hear me when I say that there is no possible fucking way you could ever disappoint me. Fuck, haven’t you learned by now that everything we do together has me starving for more? But nothing has to happen tonight.” He frames my face, forcing me to look at him. “You are all I want. It doesn’t matter if we finish the night cuddled up in front of the TV, or if I’m buried deep inside of you, watching you writhe in ecstasy, and listening to you scream my name. All I need is you.”

  My nipples tighten at the image of us in his bed, a tangled mess of sweat, ragged breaths, and euphoric pleasure.

  I want it.

  God, do I want it.

  “You have no idea how badly I want that,” I admit, sliding my fingers under the open collar of his shirt.

  Demanding hands cup my ass, cutting any distance between us. “Hear me when I say I’ll wait forever for you. All I want is you.”

  “I don’t want you to wait forever.” I pepper kisses to the corners of his mouth. “I don’t want you to wait at all.”

  “Just don’t rush yourself, okay?” Rick combs his hands through my hair, and I moan at the contact. “Don’t make any rash decisions because you think it’s what I’d want.”

  “I’m just worried I won’t live up to any expectation you have of me.” I nervously nibble on my lip.

  “Not possible.” Rick takes my hand and peppers small kisses over my knuckles. “The only expectation I have of you is that you’re still in my bed when I wake up. I missed the chance to feel you in my arms last night, I won’t be letting it happen again.”

  A rush of heat warms my cheeks. “I know you’ve probably been with a lot of women over the years, and I, well… haven’t.”

  Mischief dances in his eyes. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty fucking glad you haven’t been with many women.”

  Chuckling, I smack his bicep playfully. “Would you stop? I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.”

  Giving me that panty-melting smirk, he runs his hands up and down my thighs. “Made you laugh though, didn’t it?” He winks, impishly.

  My teeth sink into my lip as I lock my fingers around his neck and stifle a grin. “You’re such an asshole.”

  “Yeah, but I’m your asshole.” He nips at my lips. “Come here,” he husks, hauling me closer.

  My body goes to him without hesitation.

  “Do you have any fucking idea how hard it makes me knowing there weren’t many before me?” Rick growls, cupping my ass and pulling me further against him.

  A blush heats my cheeks. “You don’t have to say that.”

  Groaning, his eyes slam shut and his head falls back toward the sky. “Christ, you’re so beautifully fucking stubborn, woman.” Burrowing his hand in my hair, he tips my head back so I’m looking up at him. “Yes, I’ve been with a lot of women. And I mean a lot of women.” My lips twist into a frown. I know he’s more practiced when it comes to sex, but I don’t need a fucking blow-by-blow. “I’m not trying to sound like a dick, but I need you to understand that I was young once, too, baby. And I wasn’t exactly a saint. Hell, my life used to revolve around how often I could get my dick wet.”

  I arch an unimpressed brow. “This isn’t painting you in a very good light.”

  “What I’m saying is, I’m not that testosterone filled young boy anymore, and I haven’t been for a long fucking time. I love sex. I love all aspects of it, but I want more out of life than a quick release.” His firm eyes hold me captive. “I want love. I want passion. And I want a woman who wants the same goddamn things as me. Yes, I’ve had a lot of sex, but I can hands down tell you now, that you’ve already blown each and every one of them out of the water.”

  A cynical laugh escapes me. “Oh yeah?”

  “Fuck yes,” he growls. “Because none of them ever made me feel the way you do. I didn’t care if I never saw any of them again, but the thought of being without you… fuck.” His eyes turn lethal. “It makes me murderous.”

  “Ri
ck…” I whisper, hardly able to comprehend that any of this is happening.

  “Ask me if I cared enough to break into any of their hotel rooms when I woke up alone after one of the most incredible nights of my life.”

  “Rick,” I plead, desperately. “Don’t.”

  Still, he continues on relentlessly, “Ask me if I pursued them as ruthlessly as I did you.”

  I shift in his lap, suddenly finding hard to breathe.

  “Ask me if I thought about them every goddamn second of the day since we met, like I have you.”

  Closing my eyes, I take in a fortifying breath. “Rick… you don’t need to do this.”

  He crowds me against him. “Ask me if any of those other women had my cock even half as hard as it is for you.”

  Oh God.

  “Ask. Me,” Rick demands through a growl, but I don’t need to. I already know the answer. I already know this thing between us—this bond is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. “I’m too long in the tooth to believe in soul mates, but the second you walked into my life, everything fell into place. I’ve spent over half my life searching for you, River, and now that I’ve found you, I’m not fucking letting go. Those women meant nothing to me. They weren’t even blips on my fucking radar. But you? Fuck, you’ve consumed my thoughts from the moment we locked eyes. Losing you—being without you—isn’t an option for me. I’d declare war for you, baby. You’re it for me, River McKinley.”

  The all-consuming need to kiss this man and never come up for air grabs ahold of me with both hands. “How are you real?” I ask, thoroughly mesmerized.

  His fingernails bite into my hip as he tightens his hold. “I’m real, baby, and I’m all fucking yours.” He lightly strokes the apple of my cheek.

  “Kiss me,” I plead, utterly spellbound by this beautiful man in front of me.

  “Fuck,” he grunts before slamming his mouth to mine in a ravenous and carnal kiss. Tunneling his fingers through my hair, he wraps the long strands around his fist and pulls lightly, releasing a guttural moan. “You’re so fucking sexy, baby.” Anchoring me to him like he can’t get close enough, Rick sweeps a teasing tongue across my lips.