Unmatchable

by Sky Corgan

  “I missed you too,” I giggle against his lips.

  The inside of his loft is darker than normal. It takes a moment for me to realize that there aren't any lights on. Candles line the walls and tables. Dozens of them.

  “Fire hazard,” I tease him, refusing to give him the pleasure of thinking he has me swept up in the romantic gesture.

  “Oh, I'll show you a fire hazard.” He picks me up with ease, making me squeal as he carries me towards the bedroom.

  My heart skips a beat when I see the rose petals strewn all over the bed. For me being the one who fucked up, he's pulling out all of the stops. There's a bucket on his bedside table with a bottle of champagne sticking out of it. Colton lays me down on the bed before he pulls the bottle of champagne out of the bucket to fill the two glasses sitting next to it.

  “Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, Mister Larsen?” I smirk at him as he hands me a glass.

  “If that's what it takes to keep you from running off again.”

  The comment strikes at my heart. I set my glass down and take his hand into mine.

  “Colton, I am truly sorry. Knowing that I hurt you like I did...”

  He places his fingertip beneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Stop. I'll hear no more of that tonight.”

  “But I can't say it enough.”

  “Stop,” his tone is firm. “You can make up for it tonight.”

  “Tonight,” I parrot the word.

  “And all the nights after it.”

  “And all the nights after it.” I nod, smiling.

  “Let's start right now.” He begins to undress.

  I'm so mesmerized by him that I almost completely forgot my own plan to seduce him. Especially when he starts unbuttoning the front of his shirt. My God, how I've missed this.

  Get it together, Ember. Everything you do tonight needs to be for him. You can't be selfish.

  I kneel and try to be as sexy as I can while I unbutton my own shirt, revealing the sexy lingerie beneath. As soon as Colton sees it peeking through, he slows down to watch me. His eyes never leave me as I remove one item of clothing after another until all that's left is the lingerie.

  “Mm. Would you look at that?” He crawls up onto the bed beside me. “It looks like you brought me a present. Should I unwrap it.” He tugs at the flyaway part of the babydoll.

  “You can do whatever you want to me tonight.” I slide my arms around his broad shoulders, feeling the muscles beneath. He's so solid. So incredibly desirable. How could I have ever walked away from him?

  “Whatever I want, huh?” The wolfish grin he's wearing makes me immediately regret those words.

  “Oh lord, what have I gotten myself into.”

  “Exactly.” He chuckles against my neck, causing a shiver to race across my skin.

  “Whatever you want.” I decide finally. The realization that I want to be at his mercy is a bit thrilling. I do trust him. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Not in a bad way, at least.

  “What if I just want to make love to you tonight?” he whispers into my ear.

  “No matter what you do, it will feel like making love to me.”

  “Is that so?” He kisses a trail up the side of my throat.

  “That's so,” I practically hum, craning my head for him.

  His mouth never leaves my body as he carefully undresses me the rest of the way. The lingerie comes off piece by piece, and he makes sure to lavish affection on every inch of exposed skin. I whimper when he takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and then making a popping sound as he moves to the other. My fingers play through his hair, feeling the strands slip between them. I want to hold him against me, want to absorb him so that we'll never be apart again.

  By the time he pulls my panties off, they're absolutely soaked with my desire for him. He licks the wetness between my legs but doesn't spend any significant amount of time there. I don't mind at all. Judging from the way he's looking at me, we both desperately want the same thing. For him to be inside of me. For us to be joined as one.

  When I feel him slip into me, my body gives resistance. It's incredible what one week's absence can do. It feels every bit as good as the first time we were together. I cry out and arch my back, pressing my chest up into him as my hips writhe to take him deeper.

  “Fuck, Ember. You feel so fucking amazing,” he breaths.

  The deep sound of his voice spins my arousal on its head. When I feel his cock twitch inside of me, I lose it. I cling to him like he's the only thing keeping me from drowning, and I shatter around him. The ecstasy of it is better than I imagine any drug could be.

  “Jesus. You're going to make me lose my shit.” He stills on top of me, staring down at me in amazement.

  I take his face in my hands, looking at him earnestly. “Lose yourself in me. It's not like we can't go again.”

  His lips crash down on top of mine, and he pushes into me so deeply that I gasp. He nibbles on my mouth while it's open, thrusting with a smooth rhythm that quickly has me approaching the edge again. I claw my fingers down his back as he wrecks my body into orgasmic submission a second time.

  He falls with me in tandem. I hold him as his cock jets into me. The feeling of his girth expanding and throbbing and pumping prolongs my climax. It feels like heaven.

  Once our orgasms have played out, Colton rests his body on top of mine and I stroke his hair. I'm so full of love for him that I didn't even know it was possible to feel this way about another human being. As if reading my mind, he looks up at me.

  His eyes glimmer in the candlelight as he says, “I love you.”

  My heart floods with warmth, and I have to fight to keep the tears at bay. This is the first time I've ever said this to a man, and I mean it wholeheartedly. “I love you too.”

  We lie together in the darkness, holding each other. I soak in the feeling of his heart beating against mine, the sound of his breathing, the scent of our coupling. Nothing could ever be better than this moment right now.

  EPILOGUE

  EMBER

  I'm not sure which of us is more nervous. Colton's expression has been deadpan ever since we got off of the plane. I can't hide my worry either. This is never what I wanted, but Yvonne, the therapist that I've been going to for the past year, told me she thought it was for the best.

  We pull up in front of my childhood home, and I immediately feel the urge to panic. My mother is inside along with my brother. My father is MIA, which might be for the best. From what Mom told me, they got into a fight, and she hasn't heard from him in almost two weeks. When I told her I thought she should file for divorce, she dismissed my opinion the same as she always has. Knowing that she probably hasn't changed much doesn't exactly make me thrilled about the visit.

  The yard is overgrown, and there seems to be a whole new set of cracks in the cement walkway leading up to the house that weren't there before. It's funny how you can remember something as insignificant as the chips in concrete. This place is a stain on my mind, though, an imprint that I'll never be able to dig out.

  Colton keeps his hand on the small of my back as I walk, probably to make sure I don't turn around and run back to the rental car. Part of me wants to. Part of me wants to pretend we just came here on vacation. Salisbury is the last place on the face of the planet that I'd want to come to on vacation, though. Especially when Colton prefers exotic locations like Hawaii and the Bahamas.

  “We should have gone to Jamaica,” I whisper to him as I ascend the stairs to the front stoop.

  “Oh, stop it.” He lets out a short laugh. “You know this is important.”

  “I'm starting to feel like it's less important.” I gaze down at a cockroach scurrying along the side of the house. It's headed away from the door, and I can't blame it. This is the one place that no creature wants to enter.

  “We're already here. Might as well get it done and over with,” he keeps his voice low. It's a good idea. The walls are paper thin.


  I take a deep breath before knocking on the door, knowing that the doorbell is broken from the time when my father came home drunk and tried to put his fist through it because my mother accidentally locked him out. That night, he tried to put his fist through her as well.

  I step back against Colton and wrap his arms around me, wanting to feel protected. He has become my shield in life. From my emotions. From my fears. From this.

  I've stuck true to my word and haven't pushed him away since we got back together. It hasn't always been easy, but I knew that I had to let him into my life—all the way in—if I wanted to keep him. I even asked if he wanted to start going to therapy with me to get a better understanding of what I've been through and how I think and react because of it. Surprisingly, he agreed without hesitation. It's been one of the best things for our relationship. His willingness to be so involved with my ongoing healing process has only made me love him more.

  I hear footsteps approaching, and my heart drums in time with them. I'm not sure if I'm pressing back against Colton, but it sure feels like it.

  My mother opens the door, looks at us and then smiles at me. I want to cringe at the sight of her, but instead, I force myself into her arms. The years have not been kind to her, probably because of ongoing drug use. She's missing two of her front teeth. Her skin looks weathered and aged. Her hair is a short frizzy blonde mess. She's not wearing a bra, and her shirt has stains and holes all in it. I pray to God that Colton doesn't think that I'm going to turn out like this someday. Because if he does, I won't be able to blame him for running in the other direction.

  “Ember, it's so good to see you.” At least her scratchy voice sounds genuine. “And this must be Colton.” She lets go of me to hug him too. Watching the two of them embrace feels awkward, but he does it with authentic grace.

  Once the hugging is over, she motions for us to come inside. We follow her, and painful memories assault me as we go deeper into the house. The walls are still lined with pictures of our broken little family. In them, we're all smiling, pretending that we're normal. I have a hard time even looking at them.

  The carpet is riddled with cigarette burns and stains. The smell of cigarette smoke hangs in the air like a heavy cloud, making me nauseous. There are other smells too, trash and mold and the faintest hint of feces.

  We find my younger brother, Anthony, sitting on the sofa in the living room blankly staring at the television screen. His eyes are glassy, but when he looks over at me, recognition comes into them.

  “Ember!” He jumps up and lumbers over to me, hugging me so hard that it hurts.

  “Anthony. It's good to see you, buddy.” I rub his back. It smells like he hasn't bathed in about a week.

  “Be careful with your sister, bud. There's a baby in her belly,” my mother tells him.

  I pull him away from me by the shoulders and get a good look at him. It's strange to see how tall he's gotten. He's grown at least two inches since the last time I saw him. His ashy brown hair is cut into a messy bowl style. It's obviously my mother's handiwork. There's a bit of food plastered to his cheek next to his mouth. I quickly pull a napkin out of my purse and clean him up. Maternal instincts that I never knew I had kicking in.

  “You changed your hair.” He reaches up to touch my hair but then hesitates. I'm glad that he doesn't actually touch it because I'm pretty sure he would yank it.

  “I did.” I nod. “You got taller.”

  “I did.” He beams at me.

  “Come sit down, now. Leave your sister alone.” Mom gestures in agitation for Anthony to take his place back on the sofa.

  I'm not sure if I'm happy or upset that she called him away from me. It's been four years since I've seen the kid, for fucks sake. But I am feeling a bit crowded.

  “Are you alright?” Colton whispers into my ear, sliding his hand around the front of my stomach. I know he's wondering if Anthony's hug hurt me. I'm only three months pregnant, so it's hardly anything to worry about.

  “I'm fine. He just gets excited is all.” I smile at him over my shoulder.

  “Sit.” My mom motions for us to take a seat before sitting in the old rocking chair where my dad used to plant himself after a long day of work and drinking.

  Since Anthony is taking up much of the sofa, I'm forced to sit next to him, and Colton takes a seat on the other recliner. I hope the distance doesn't make him feel too uncomfortable. It probably makes me more so.

  “So, how have you been?” I ask, trying my best to actually care about the answer.

  “Same shit different day. Your brother keeps me busy.” She waves at Anthony and rolls her eyes like he's a burden. “He's autistic,” she tells Colton, in case he couldn't figure it out on his own.

  Colton stays quiet, perhaps at a loss of what to say. The entire situation must be stressful for him. It's a testament to how much he loves me that he'd put himself through this.

  “He can't help being autistic,” I remind her.

  “I know. But it's hard.”

  The sad look on Anthony's face speaks volumes about how much her words hurt him.

  “Do you think Dad is coming back?” I scoot closer to Anthony and put my arm around his shoulder, hoping to cheer him up.

  “Who knows? You can never tell with that man. I'm tired of trying to keep track of him. So when's the baby due?” She glances at my stomach before picking up a pack of cigarettes from the table beside her and tapping one out. I wrinkle my nose slightly, wishing she wouldn't smoke around me. Of course, she smoked when she was pregnant with all three of us, so why would she care about not smoking around me while I'm pregnant.

  “We're expecting in November.” I splay my free hand across my stomach.

  “Is this your first one?” Mom turns her attention to Colton.

  He opens his mouth but hesitates before saying, “Yes.”

  I know he was thinking about his baby with Nina, but I suppose that really doesn't count since she didn't carry it full term. I'm just glad that the memory doesn't haunt him so much anymore. Now that we're having a baby together, he doesn't seem bothered by his past as much. I'm glad that I could help him heal at least that much.

  “They're a handful.”

  “I think we're ready.” Colton smiles across at me.

  “He's been ready for a while,” I say, wishing he was sitting next to me so that I could hold his hand.

  “Babies are expensive. Too damned expensive, if you ask me.” Mom lights her cigarette and takes a long drag before blowing out a mushroom cloud of smoke. I instinctively want to shrink away from it.

  “Our baby will want for nothing,” Colton tells her. “Just like her mother.”

  “Ember told me over the phone that you're some important businessman. Must be nice to have all of that money at your disposal. I could sure use some.”

  The way she's eying Colton tells me that she's subtly suggesting that he offer her some money. There's nothing conversational about where this is headed.

  “Well,” I stand, wanting to get out of there before things take an unpleasant turn, “we should be off. I just wanted to stop in to check on you. Maybe we can all go out to dinner tomorrow.”

  “That would be swell.” She doesn't even bother getting up.

  “We'll see ourselves out. I'll call you later.” I glance over at Colton before flanking his side.

  As we walk out of the house, I feel the stress leaving me. While that could have gone a lot worse, it was still awkward as hell. We climb back into the rental car, and I apologize profusely while we drive to the restaurant—another surprise that Colton researched ahead of time. He's good at that—loves surprising me with sweet things.

  When we reach the restaurant, I can't help but smirk at the outside. “Another converted church.”

  “Did you know this place existed?” He opens the passenger's door for me and helps me out.

  “No. We could never afford to go to nice restaurants when I was growing up.” I stare up at the red brick structure of La
Cava with its steepled roof.

  “Then this will be an adventure.” He leans into me as if there's wonder and mystery in his words. I laugh at how corny he's being. It's just a restaurant. Not like we're skydiving or swimming with sharks(both of which we've already done together).

  We walk inside, and the charm of the place instantly makes me feel at ease. The stained glass windows and wooden floors keep the church vibe going on while the white tablecloths and glassware give it a high-end restaurant feel.

  Colton gives the hostess our reservation, and we're led back to a private dining area. From floor to ceiling, bottles of wine are seated in small cubbies. This table isn't set like the others. Instead of having a tablecloth, it was left bare. An assortment of candles sit in the middle. They're all white, but some are long and tapered. Some are short and in glass holders. Others have standing metal holders. The area is private and romantic.

  “This is nice,” I tell Colton as he pulls out my chair.

  “It's called the wine alcove. No wine for you though.”

  “That's not hardly fair.” I frown at him.

  “Life isn't fair,” he teases me before taking his seat.

  “Life has been more than fair to me,” I say reflectively, thinking about how I've risen from the depths of hell. For other people, like my brother Anthony, things aren't so good. Some people can rise up. Others can't. “I wish I could save Anthony from her.”

  “I know you do.” His expression goes solemn.

  “If I were a better sister, I'd move back here and take care of him.”

  “We could bring him back with us.”

  His suggestion shocks me. I look at him to see if he's serious. There's no hint of anything besides genuine concern for my brother's situation.

  “Would you really be okay with that?” I ask.

  “If that's what you want.” He exhales a deep breath. “You should know by now that I'd do anything for you.”

  “It would be a lot to take on with the baby coming.” I rub my stomach.

  “It would be.” He nods. “Alternatively, I could hire someone to come make sure that he's being taken care of. To make sure that your mother is doing everything she's supposed to be doing. Or we could move him into an assisted living home in Houston so that he's close to us but that you can still see him whenever you want.”