One?

by Jennifer L. Cahill

  ‘I think, although I’m not sure… but I think he kissed me.’ Penelope felt like she was going to be sick as she said this.

  ‘Oh my god, did you kiss him back?’ George gasped.

  ‘I don’t really know, I was very drunk, and my reactions were really slow, and maybe he took that as… I don’t know… a positive response,’ Penelope sighed.

  ‘Well, do you fancy him?’ George was being pragmatic.

  ‘What?! No, well not after meeting Alyx, I mean if this had happened before Alyx, then maybe, but not now.’ Penelope poured her heart out to George. In reality she was probably still a little drunk and the words came tumbling out a bit more than they normally would have.

  ‘Oh yes, how could I forget. How on earth are you coping with work…?’ George asked.

  ‘I slept in, I’m not in work.’ Penelope lay her head back down as she said this.

  ‘That’s not like you!’ George sounded shocked.

  ‘I know, I phoned in and said I had a migraine, and that I’d go in once the tablets started working,’ Penelope whimpered. They both knew that it was highly unlikely that she’d make it into work that day.

  ‘Oh, ok, poor you… let’s meet up later and have a chat… I know we were going to go out for a drink, but I think a takeaway at home might be a bit better?’ George suggested a less alcoholic alternative for this evening.

  ‘You are an angel, that would be perfect.’ Penelope lay back down and stared at the ceiling, trying to take it all in. Then there was a knock on her bedroom door.

  ‘Penelope, hi, I’m just on my way to the Tube, I just thought I’d bring you in some tea, and a few painkillers.’ Zara pushed the door open very gently.

  ‘Oh, hi Zara, you are so good, thank you… I feel like I’m dying,’ Penelope whimpered, she was as pale as a ghost.

  ‘I thought after last night, … well I just wanted to see that you were ok?’ Zara sounded genuinely concerned.

  ‘Were you out with me last night too? It’s all a bit fuzzy… I have no idea how I got home, or into bed, and I’m still dressed – ish.’ Penelope grimaced, as she looked down and saw she was still wearing her work shirt and tights.

  ‘You kind of fell in the front door, and Charlie carried you up the stairs… and I had the very important job of carrying up your shoes… your only pair you said, very important that they weren’t left downstairs!’ Zara smiled weakly as she said this.

  ‘Oh god, I can sort of remember bits and pieces now… I can’t believe he carried me up, he’s such a good friend. Sorry about the shoes thing, obviously crazy drunk talk…’ Penelope was mortified, it was bad enough being hammered, but involving the whole household in getting her to bed was quite another story.

  ‘Don’t worry about it, listen I better go, let me know if you want me to bring you home anything…’ Zara didn’t want to be late.

  ‘Oh, thank you… you are so kind.’ Penelope smiled weakly at her.

  ‘That was so sweet of her, I must have been in such a state last night for Charlie to carry me up the stairs… I’m so embarrassed!’ Penelope tried to sip the tea and knocked back two of the painkillers, it was helping, but only a tiny bit.

  Zara closed the front door behind her and sauntered down towards Clapham South Tube station.

  ‘Poor Penelope, it reminds me of the day we were interviewing housemates… I know exactly how she feels. That friend she was out with sounds a bit dodgy. I have my all-important HR meeting today… I can’t wait to see how much money I’ll get!’ Zara was practically spending her redundancy package before she got it!

  ***

  ‘Hello Zara, have a seat there.’ The HR manager offered Zara a seat in front of the desk.

  ‘Thanks.’ Zara smiled brightly at her.

  ‘Have you come to a decision about Manchester?’ The HR manager was unemotional.

  ‘Well, actually that’s what I wanted to talk to you about… I was thinking of taking redundancy, depending on the package…’ Zara felt a little uneasy as she said this.

  ‘What do you mean?’ The HR manager stared blankly at her.

  ‘You know the money, the redundancy payment…’ Zara began to get flustered.

  ‘Oh no, you see, there is no money…’ she explained.

  ‘But Rob…’ Zara began.

  ‘Oh, I see now… where you got that idea from, yes, you see Zara, you are still on your three-month probation period, so it’s only after your first three months that you would be entitled to any kind of redundancy payment. I’m very sorry if you got the wrong end of the stick… but the situation is different for those who have worked here for a while… obviously the longer they have worked here… well their options will be different… I’m very sorry. So, as I outlined in our last meeting, we have the option for you to relocate to our Manchester office, Manchester is a lovely city… full of footballers! We love it up there, hate the big smoke…’ The HR lady began trying to “sell” the idea of Manchester to Zara.

  And then, the floodgates opened… tears started streaming down Zara’s face.

  ‘Oh, no, don’t cry, it’ll be ok…’ The HR manager tried to sound soothing, she offered Zara a tissue from a box that she had beside her… just in case.

  ‘I can’t believe I’m being made redundant! What will I tell my parents? Sniff, sniff.’ Zara struggled with the words.

  ‘Do you not want to take the Manchester option?’ The HR manager sighed.

  ‘No! I’m only bloody well getting used to London, and they are all so proud of me at home, and I can’t tell them that I’ve been fired… and…’ Zara spluttered.

  ‘Alright, alright, but I’m afraid there will be no London office in the near future… so it’s either Manchester or nothing… everyone is in the same boat… And of course you are not being fired, it is simply the case that your position here does not exist anymore. It is nothing personal at all, apologies if I did not make that clear from the outset.’ The HR manager explained. But Zara didn’t stick around long enough to hear about it.

  ‘Hello darling… so, millionaires?!’ Rob winked at her as she eventually came back to her desk.

  ‘No, Rob, going for broke!’ Zara sniffed and blew her nose loudly. She was bright pink from all the blubbing.

  ‘What!? Are you taking the Manchester option then?’ Rob sounded confused.

  ‘No, there is no redundancy payment for me… I’m still on probation… you know, for three months… to prove myself… and that’s why I get nothing…’ Zara welled up again.

  ‘Oh no, I’m so sorry, well did you get your CV out to agencies yet?’ Rob put his arm around Zara’s shoulders.

  ‘No, I was just about to when I thought I was going to get the redundancy windfall… so I was in no hurry at all then…’ Zara sniffed.

  ‘Right, well… no time like the present… come on, let’s get emailing, and you can set up appointments with them.’ Rob started acting busy and motivated.

  ‘Can we go for coffee first, my eyes are all red, and I think I need to calm down before all of the others come in… I don’t want them to know…’ All Zara wanted to do was to get the hell out of there.

  ‘Ok, quite right… come on let’s go then.’ Rob already had his jacket on.

  After a very long day in St Martin’s Lane, Zara eventually made it home to leafy SW4.

  ‘Thank god it’s Friday, what a day! I can’t believe I started crying, in front of the HR lady, they must think I’m such an idiot. The atmosphere in the office was terrible, I don’t think anyone really wants to go up to Manchester… well at least they’ll all get the money… oh no, I’m welling up again… stop it, stop it… I hope the others are out tonight, I don’t really want anyone to see me in this state! Maybe if I’m really quiet when I go in… I can sneak upstairs and have another cry.’ Zara opened the door very quietly and snuck up the stairs, she was sure that nobody was in as it was only 6 pm. How wrong she was, she had forgotten that Penelope did not go into work that day…

  �
��Zara! Hi, George is coming over… DVD and takeaway… do you fancy it… oh… dear… what’s wrong, are you ok?’ Penelope was in the middle of her speech about the evenings’ activities, when she realised how red and puffy Zara looked.

  ‘Well, I was ok… until…’ ‘Here come the tears again’… ‘I got fired!’ Zara gasped.

  ‘Fired!’ Penelope sounded astounded.

  ‘Yep, they are closing the London office… and the others…’ Zara began.

  ‘No, redundant… not fired!’ Penelope cut in, there was major difference after all.

  ‘What does it matter what it’s called… the thing is…’ Zara sniffed.

  ‘There’s a huge difference, redundant is the position and not the person… the job is gone, when you get fired, it means they don’t want you anymore, because you did something wrong…’ Penelope reassured Zara.

  ‘Well, my mum won’t see it that way, and I started crying in front of the HR lady… and I feel awful… and… oh no, are the boys in?’ Zara panicked as she heard some movement upstairs.

  ‘Yep, afraid so… but don’t worry they’ve already seen me in this state, so I don’t think they will even notice your red eyes… I think they are still in shock after seeing me… I think Gerry thought he was seeing a ghost!’ Penelope sighed reassuringly.

  ‘All the same… I better just run up and tidy myself up a bit…’ Zara headed for the stairs.

  ‘Well if it’ll make you feel better, and anyway George is coming over, she always makes me feel better…’ Penelope sighed.

  ‘Ok.’ Zara smiled weakly.

  ‘And a takeaway… it doesn’t get better than that!’ Penelope laughed weakly.

  ‘True… ok, I’ll be back in a minute.’ This perked Zara up a bit, having George around would definitely take her mind off things, George was always so bubbly and full of life.

  Within the hour, George had arrived armed with junk food and a selection of DVDs. She bounced in with her glowing café au lait coloured skin, and her vivacious curly hair, which was in stark contrast to Penelope’s ashen face, and Zara’s red blotches. She was a breath of fresh air and lightened the mood immediately.

  ‘Georgie! Did you bring wine?’ Penelope felt that hair of the dog was in order.

  ‘Well, in your state I didn’t think it was wise, Jesus Pen, you are so pale… and what happened to you Zara, are you ok… have I stumbled into the wrong house?’ George sounded confused.

  ‘No, well, I have the worst hangover ever, and poor Zara just heard today that they are closing her office down, so there’ll be a few redundancies…’ Penelope explained.

  ‘Oh no, Zara, well at least you know it’s nothing personal… and this is London you’ll get a job in no time, people change jobs all the time here, it’s part of the… well… I won’t say… fun… but part of the adventure.’ George tilted her head to one side as she said this and gave Zara’s shoulder a little rub.

  ‘You are right Penelope, she has made me feel much better.’ Zara turned and smiled at Penelope.

  ‘I told you she would!’ Penelope smiled back at her.

  ‘So ladies, what are we dining on this evening?’ George asked dramatically.

  ‘We were thinking… Chinese?’ Penelope winked at Zara as she said this.

  ‘No remember what happened the last time?!’ George gasped.

  ‘No, what happened? Remind me?’ Penelope put on her most innocent face.

  ‘The miscellaneous Chinese food, and the lateness… and…’ George was getting exasperated, jumping up and down and pointing at her watch.

  ‘Oh let’s do that again… it was so much fun!’ Penelope smirked.

  ‘Alright, but don’t start complaining when it’s three hours late,’ Zara sighed.

  ‘Don’t worry, I brought chocolate… as a starter!’ George perked up as she pulled a huge bar of chocolate out of her bag.

  ‘Penelope, seriously… she is the best!’ Zara smiled warmly in appreciation.

  ‘I know… I couldn’t live without her, isn’t that right Georgie?’ Penelope affirmed.

  ‘Well, you can thank me in vodka shots… some other time… … so any sign of any nice men moving in next door?’ George was keen to lighten the mood.

  ‘Erm, well neither of us are really here that much, I haven’t seen anyone at all, I think it’s still empty, what do you think Zara?’ George’s strategy was working, the girls were genuinely interested in who their neighbours might be.

  ‘Definitely no sign of nice men, I think I would sense their presence… we should ask Charlie and Gerry… they are here during the day a good bit, they might know. We are too busy looking at Gerry when we are here if you know what I mean,’ Penelope giggled.

  ‘Any other news? How’s the love life Zara?’ George arched one eyebrow as she asked this, staring intently at Zara.

  ‘As good as the job situation…’ Zara started to well up again, and her voice started to wobble.

  ‘Oh dear, well in that case Pen, you’ll just have to entertain us with the cartoon-like dramatics of your love life this week… let’s work our way backwards, I believe Zara can help fill in the gaps…’ George gave Zara a knowing glance and a little pat on the arm, hoping to take her mind off her redundancy.

  ‘The falling in the door episode?’ Zara offered, mustering a weak smile.

  ‘The very one… did Charlie really sweep her off her feet, and whisk her upstairs?’ George asked dramatically.

  ‘George! I never said that!’ Penelope shrieked!

  ‘I know! I was just adding a bit of colour!’ George stated knowingly as she sat back, hungry for details.

  ‘Seriously George, he was great, he carried her up the stairs… I had the very important job of making sure her shoes got to bed ok.’ Zara sat up and began filling in the details.

  ‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!’ George shook her head and wagged her finger at Penelope.

  ‘I know, between her love life and my job, we are a very sorry pair. So who was this guy you were out with? We were a bit shocked at the state he dropped you home in?’ Zara asked genuinely concerned.

  ‘I know, it’s not great really is it?… and I think he tried to, or actually… did, kiss me!’ Penelope spluttered as a disgusted look spread across her pale face.

  ‘In that state?’ Zara sounded shocked, she couldn’t imagine anyone trying to kiss Penelope when she could barely stand.

  ‘I know, yep, he’s supposed to be a friend.’ Penelope sounded hurt.

  ‘You can’t take your eye off them for a second… male friends!’ George warned sagely, as the section of her curls that had been tucked behind her right ear, tumbled down in front of her face.

  ‘Obviously not! That’s definitely a lesson I needed to learn.’ Penelope sat back on the couch, hugging a cushion to her.

  ‘I always thought he fancied you Penny.’ George added.

  ‘Maybe it was just a drunken thing… it’s not like I ever really have to see him again…I mean we were just having a catch up… ooh text.’ Penelope jumped up and grabbed her phone, dying for a text from Alyx.

  Hello Princess,

  Hope head not too sore,

  V. pleased about last night,

  Still smiling, Richard xx

  ‘Oh no!’ Penelope went even paler as she read the text.

  ‘What? Who is it from? Is it ASB?’ George squealed. Over-pronouncing the initials, she thought this was hilarious.

  ‘It’s from Richard, oh no, look, he signed it off… Richard xx, oh no… it’s never the one you want is it!’ Penelope was heartbroken that it was not from Alyx, and sounded distraught that it was from Richard, how on earth was she going to get out of this one. Once there had been a kiss, there was no turning back. He had catapulted himself out of the friend zone in a matter of seconds.

  ‘Uh oh.’ George looked over at Zara, who felt like she was watching a game of tennis as she followed the conversation back and forth, struggling to keep up.

  ‘I know… and ASB ha
sn’t phoned me yet… why is this happening to me! Oh my god another one… that’s tantamount to stalking!’ Penelope’s heart sank as she heard that she had another text. With a heavy heart she reluctantly opened it up.

  Hi, lovely time the other

  night, hope you are well,

  am away for work,

  but will call when

  back in Europe,

  ASB x

  ‘You are not going to believe this… it’s from him…’ The colour crept back onto Penelope’s face as the largest smile unfurled across her face, her eyes glistened.

  ‘Richard?!’ Zara shrieked!

  ‘No, Alyx!’ Penelope shrieked back as she jumped up to hug George.

  ‘No!’ George gasped. George leaped up and hugged Penelope.

  ‘Who’s Ah-Leeks?’ Poor Zara was on the edge of her seat now, this was all too much, first there was Richard and now some foreign guy was texting her. George pulled Zara out of her seat and grabbed her into the group hug.

  ‘Just a sec Zara, Pen, what did he say?’ George held onto Zara’s arm to calm her down while they got the details. They stood there clutching each other as if some huge life changing revelation were about to be revealed.

  ‘Says he’s away for work, and that he’ll call when he’s back in Europe.’ Penelope spoke really quickly barely catching her breath.

  ‘Oh wow.’ George flopped back in her seat, so shocked.

  ‘Who is Ah-Leeks?’ Poor Zara couldn’t wait any longer, she was dying to know who he was.

  ‘How will I put this… hmm…he’s like, the perfect man, he’s gorgeous, charming, intelligent… and he took me out on Wednesday.’ Penelope glowed at the memory of it.

  ‘I was wondering why you were in the bathroom for so long on Tuesday night,’ Zara stated knowingly, the pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together.

  ‘Serious pampering and preparation!’ Penelope shrieked.

  ‘Sounds like he was worth it!’ Zara shrieked back.

  ‘Oh totally…’ Penelope was on the edge of her seat now.

  ‘Look, she’s got that dreamy look again…’ George pointed out the obvious.

  ‘So who is this other guy then, the one who got you drunk… this is all a bit confusing, do you have two boyfriends?’ Zara was struggling to keep up.