Bridge of Mist and Fog

by Nikki Broadwell

  “Why are you treating me like a child?” Airy stared him down, her hands on her hips. “You’ve been acting strange for more than a month. What is your problem?”

  “Sometimes you act like a child, Airy. My problem is…” Fehin turned away and rubbed his hand across his face. “My problem is,” he started again, “that I don’t fully trust you and without that we can’t do anything.”

  Airy’s face went hot. “How long have you felt this way?”

  “Since we’ve been here. I didn’t know what was bothering me, but now…now I know. Something in me has closed down. That’s why I have to go home.”

  “I’m not going with you,” she said, her eyes filling. “I can’t believe you’ve been faking all this time, letting me take care of you and acting like we were working together on our mission. You are a real jerk.” Airy went to pull on her boots and then got her coat out of the little closet. She opened the door and slammed it behind her, trying to muffle her sobs.

  Nearly blinded by the thick snow coming down Airy blundered down the sidewalk away from the motel. She didn’t know where she was going, only that she had to get as far from Fehin as she could. Her heart actually hurt. All this time she thought he loved her. They’d even said as much when he was still in the hospital. How could he pretend all this time, letting her fix his meals, plump up his pillows and cheer him when he was depressed? She felt humiliated, furious and betrayed by the one person she thought she could count on.

  ***

  Wolf watched the girl leave, waiting to see what would happen next. He knew all about the druid and Kafir, had known the minute they appeared. After they left he’d heard the shouts, had seen the tears on her face as she hurried away. When Fehin came into view at the top of the stairs carrying his backpack, Wolf smiled. His plan was working.

  ***

  When Airy looked up she found herself in front of the library, and even though she’d left the overdue book at home she went inside. A blast of hot air hit her when she opened the doors, warming her with a sense of familiarity. The librarian sat behind the desk as she always did, peering curiously at Airy over her half glasses. But she didn’t say anything and Airy continued past her and then into the stacks. Thank goodness there was hardly anyone here, she thought as tears continued to run down her face.

  With the shorter days it was nearly dark by the time she left the historic brick building. She felt able to face Fehin despite the pain of his betrayal. Maybe her parents had been right all along—he was not what he seemed. Her insides hurt as though she’d been punched in the stomach.

  When she reached the motel the lights were off making her wonder if Fehin had fallen asleep. She slowly climbed the stairs, her feet growing heavier the further up she went. At the door she fit her electronic key into the slot and then opened it. “Fehin?” she called, switching on a light. She moved into the bedroom and flipped the switch.

  He was gone, along with all of his things. And on further examination she discovered he’d taken most of the cash she’d recently withdrawn from her account. “You bastard!” she screamed and then covered her mouth. If her parents had cut her off what in hell was she going to do? If Fehin had been there at that moment she would have put her hands around his neck and squeezed the breath out of him.

  33

  After using a sizable amount of Airy’s cash to buy a bus ticket to San Diego, Fehin curled up on a bench outside the station to spend the night. He felt bad about taking Airy’s money but what could he do? He had no money in his account and until he found a job he was without cash. Every cent he’d had, had gone into the trip to Colorado and then the hospital bills after he got sick. No one had mentioned it but he was fairly certain that a lot of his care had been gratis, the doctors and nurses taking pity on him. Airy’s parents would never let her starve.

  On the long bus ride he fell asleep, his head lolling onto the shoulder of the heavy-set guy sitting next to him. He knew this because he woke several times and tried to lean the other way. The man didn’t seem to mind. Fehin’s sleep was deep and strange, filled with imagery he didn’t want to see. Wolf was there lurking, and Airy, hurt and unconscious. If only he could turn the clock back to before all of that happened, he thought waking suddenly. He still loved her but without trust it didn’t matter much. Any time spent with her family would undermine how she felt for him. And the thought of her making a choice between them and him made his stomach hurt. He couldn’t imagine cutting himself off from his mother or Kafir, no matter how bad things got.

  By the time the bus reached San Diego he was stiff and out of sorts. He reached for his pack and then left the bus, heading inside to ask how to reach the Port of San Diego. The air was warm here and it helped his mood to feel it on his skin, to see the sun and the blue sky after so much cold and gray.

  With the few dollars he had left he caught a taxi to the Port and then wandered around trying to figure out how to find Skidbladnir in the mass of boats and noise and commotion. After an hour of searching he wondered if she was here at all, but as he headed away he caught a glimpse of a red sail and turned to see her sailing directly toward him. His heart lifted at the sight of her. But when he faced the druid who was sailing her it was a different story.

  “I have come to tell you that it is not your destiny to go to the future. Your path lies here in this world. Whether you choose to follow it is up to you, but I will not assist you in this folly. I would have tolerated it if Airy had come along but you alone doesn’t fit the story.”

  “What story are you talking about?”

  “The one where you and the girl share a future. I am not clear on what your mission is, but I know you’re supposed to be together.”

  “I don’t feel like that anymore,” Fehin answered. “She seems too young and besides that I don’t trust her.”

  Gunnar stared at him, his eyes narrowing. “Too young? Where did you get that idea? Do you think what she did for you in the hospital was childish, Fehin? She’s braved the system to care for you, using her own money to buy you special food, finding herbal remedies and putting up with your depression. What more do you want from her?”

  Fehin hung his head, shame making his face flush. He’d treated her as though she’d done something terrible when in fact she’d done nothing but take care of him. Without her he’d probably be dead. But as that thought went through his mind he wondered if being dead might be better all around. He was tired of feeling empty, tired of not caring about anything and tired of the negative thoughts that constantly plagued him. “I have this hollow feeling, Gunnar. In here,” he pointed to his chest. “I don’t have the will to go forward.”

  “Fehin, it takes time to heal. Your body may be better but your psyche hasn’t caught up. You nearly died and from what I observed you welcomed your death. Are you happy to be alive?”

  Fehin thought about the question and couldn’t come up with an answer.

  “Spend time alone. Do what feels right to you. If that includes the girl then go and find her. But only if you can be kind and see her for who she is.”

  “How do you know who she is?”

  Gunnar pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Don’t be an idiot,” he said before turning toward the boat.

  “But what about my mother? Is there something happening you aren’t telling me?”

  Gunnar turned. “As long as she knows you’re all right she’ll be fine. And I’ll tell her you are—would you try and make that the truth?” Gunnar raised his hand in a good-bye salute just before he slipped into the throng and disappeared.

  34

  Airy gazed around the motel suite wondering why she hadn’t noticed how shabby everything was. And now with Fehin gone it was utterly bleak. She flung herself on the couch, letting grief take over, her hiccupping sobs reminding her of when she was small and her mother would come and soothe her hurt. But there was no one to soothe her now and even the thought of her parents made her cry harder. If she were home right now MacCuill would
comfort her, she thought, imagining his arms around her, the scratchy feel of his robe against her cheek.

  When it seemed there were no tears left she went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face swollen. This thing with Fehin had turned her into a sniveling little girl. No wonder he said what he did. She splashed water on her face, angry with him and with herself. She was seventeen now. It was time to grow up.

  The news on the TV said they were expecting a foot of snow out of this storm. She fell asleep to the sound of wind whistling around her door and windows.

  In Airy’s dream she was walking through a blizzard. She was barefoot and freezing cold and the trees were trying to send her a message, but because of her chattering teeth she couldn’t hear them. A face loomed out of the shadows--Wolf, and he was smiling. Waking suddenly she was surprised to see her door wide-open, snow drifting along the carpet. She jumped up to close it and then mopped up the snow with the extra towels in the bathroom. When she saw the footprint she let out a scream. It was a boot print way bigger than Fehin’s foot and it was right next to her bed. Whoever had opened that door had stood next to her bed while she slept. She shivered violently, pressing her fingers into her eyes to stop the tears. She moved to the door and turned the extra lock, latching it securely.

  In the kitchen making tea she wondered why she hadn’t awakened. She had assumed the dream had to do with Fehin being gone. Even when he was at his sickest she felt protected with him around. But that footprint was real which meant that someone large had been looking down on her while she slept. It had to be Wolf. When she brought the cup to her lips her hand shook so badly that she spilled hot liquid on her leg.

  The rest of the night was spent worrying about Wolf breaking her door down. Finally her mind shifted, going over the past months. She tried hard not to but the tears came as she recalled the joy she felt every morning when she woke to see Fehin’s smiling face. In her mind’s eye he ran his fingers through his mussed hair, smoothing it and pushing it back off his face—a morning ritual that she’d grown accustomed to watching. His sleepy moss-colored eyes always followed her as she rose from the bed, his husky, ‘good morning’ brightening her day. Somehow these simple gestures made her feel wanted and loved. They had never moved past the few kisses they’d shared, but she’d sensed that what they felt for each other would be expressed in a deeper way when it was time. How could she have been so wrong about him? What would she say the next time she spoke with her parents? The idea of admitting that they’d been right filled her with dismay.

  In the morning Airy felt exhausted, her thoughts muddled and confused. Some part of her had hoped that Fehin would come back but in the cold morning light she knew this wasn’t going to happen. She wondered if he was on his way home. Would she ever see him again? But then anger replaced these softer thoughts and she stormed around the room to collect her things, throwing her clothes roughly into the bag. She hated him right now. Outside wind began to rage and a minute later sleet pelted the windows so hard she thought they might break. When she looked out she saw a shadowy figure lurking at the bottom of the stairs but when she moved to get a better view there was no one there. My mind’s playing tricks on me, she thought, but the fear had lodged inside her stomach making her feel weak.

  By the time she finished packing her mind had calmed. When she opened the door sun was peeking through the bare branches. Snow had drifted around her door and there was a pile of sleet melting on the window ledge. For a moment she wondered if Fehin had been right about her moods and what they could bring, but then she laughed it off, carefully making her way down the stairs and toward the office to check out.

  Caught up in her thoughts she didn’t notice the dark-haired figure watching her from under the trees at the side of the motel.

  Airy found an ATM and withdrew more money, cursing Fehin for stealing hers. She wasn’t sure if this was the last of it or if her parents would continue to support her. If she called them right now and told them what was happening she was positive they would deposit money into her account immediately. They would dearly love to hear about Fehin’s recent obnoxious behavior.

  She shook her head trying to imagine getting a job. It the amount of homeless was any indication there weren’t enough jobs to go around. She walked the short distance to the bus station and bought a ticket for Milltown. At least there she had Storm and Carla to count on. It wasn’t a direct ride and would take a couple of days to get there. Flying would have been easier but the idea of it scared her too much. And besides she didn’t have near enough money for it.

  On the bus she wondered why she kept having a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. Was this some new ability she hadn’t figured out? She turned once to see if someone was watching her but everyone in the seats behind looked perfectly normal. There was only one guy with his hoodie up whose face wasn’t exposed. She turned back and tried to concentrate on the future and what to do, but after groping her way blindly through her tangled thoughts she settled on a nap instead.

  ***

  By the time the bus rolled into Milltown Airy was certain she was being stalked. The prickling feeling had grown stronger during the trip and several times when the bus stopped and she got off she’d felt as though someone was tailing her. But whenever she turned there was no one there. It was eerie and disturbing.

  She hailed a taxi and gave the driver Carla’s address and then settled back for the ride.

  “Where’s Fehin?” Carla asked after they’d greeted one another.

  “He’s gone home.”

  “Gone home? I thought you were together.”

  Airy sighed, following the older woman into the house. “So did I.”

  “Airy, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll fix us something to eat. And then you can tell me all about it.”

  Airy carried her bag into the bathroom and pulled out some clean underwear and another sweater. These jeans would have to do since she had no others.

  As the steaming water poured over her body she thought about why she was here. It hadn’t been her intention to foist herself on Carla. She wondered, for the millionth time, why she couldn’t figure things out for herself.

  In the living room dressed in clean clothes she felt somewhat better. The apartment was cozy and warm and Carla’s familiar face was comforting.

  After Carla brought out a plate of sandwiches and placed them on the table she turned to Airy. “I don’t want to pry into your life,” she said, “but last I knew you and Fehin were working on a plan. Can you tell me what happened?”

  Airy picked up a half of the chicken salad sandwich and took a bite. “He doesn’t love me. He told me something had closed down in him. I think it’s because of the illness but I don’t know—he said that’s why he had to go home.”

  “I got a message not too long ago from Gertrude via the Internet. God knows how she manages it but every once in a while I get an e-mail from her.” Carla smiled. “In this one she told me Fehin decided to remain here. She said he’d been having doubts but that Gunnar set him straight.”

  “How do you get messages from the future?”

  Carla shook her head and threw her hands up in the air. “I have no idea but I think it’s something to do with the druid. Maybe she tells him what she wants to say and then when he’s in this timeline he writes me an e-mail?”

  “Gunnar has e-mail?” Airy laughed. “That is so weird.”

  Carla chuckled. “It is kind of strange, I agree. Unfortunately I can’t send messages back. I miss Gertrude so much.” Carla took a bite of a sandwich, her gaze going into the distance.

  When the door opened a few minutes later, revealing a young blonde-haired girl Carla jumped up to greet her, hugging her close before asking, “How did it go?”

  “Oh, fine,” she said, her attention going to Airy. “Who are you?” she asked.

  “Airy this is my daughter, Fanciful.”

  “Fa
n,” the girl corrected. “Hi Airy. Are you related to Mom’s weird friend, Gertrude?”

  “No, I’m…”

  “Airy is Fehin’s friend,” Carla interrupted. “They both go to the college in Milltown.”

  Fan looked her over, twirling one blond braid. She seemed about ten, the same age as Airy’s brother. Carla hadn’t said a word about her. And where was her father? There was nothing in the bathroom to indicate another person lived here.

  Carla seemed nervous, glancing from one to the other. “Fan do you have homework?” she finally asked.

  “Some. Should I do it before dinner?”

  “That would be a good idea. Airy and I have some things to discuss. I’m heating up lasagna.”

  Fan smiled. “Yum. See you later, Airy,” she said, skipping away. A second later there was the sound of a door closing.

  “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

  “She stays with her father half the time. We’re divorced.”

  “Oh.” Airy wasn’t sure what to say to that—was it good or bad that they were divorced?

  “It was amicable,” she added, noticing Airy’s expression. “We’re great friends. But Airy, you have to careful around her. She doesn’t know anything about the other worlds.”

  “I won’t say anything.”

  “Now where were we? Oh yes, I was telling you what I heard from Gertrude. I bet you Fehin’s on his way to Milltown right now. What about school? Are you going back?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “The semester is just about over. The holidays are coming. But you could start after the New Year. The idea of you wandering around the city disturbs me. You have no idea what goes on in the streets these days. Luckily I have a job but there are so many who don’t. Did you learn about the government here in one of your classes?”

  “A little. It changed in 2020?”