Marianne K. Martin - Love in the Balance

by Marianne K. Martin

  “Neither.” Her voice was a cold wave, her stare constant. “I’ve been with women like you. You read like a cheap romance novel.”

  Abruptly Connie broke eye contact. Pulling hard on the left rein, she turned Sassy back toward the trees. An argument was imminent unless she left. Sassy cooperated until they reached the edge of the path. There she began to sidestep, fighting the rein. Blaze called to her as Sage turned her toward the field, and that was all it took. Despite Connie’s best efforts at control, Sassy ignored her rein and turned to follow Blaze. A futile effort to hold her back ended when Sage suddenly broke Blaze into a full gallop. Sassy bolted, almost throwing her rider. With only one foot still in the stirrup and one hand desperately gripping the saddle, Connie struggled hard to regain her balance and keep from being thrown. Painfully she strained to pull herself forward. She squeezed hard with her knees. Finally, centered again in the saddle, she managed to regain her foothold in the stirrup.

  The instincts of so many years ago took over. She pushed against the stirrups, rising up out of the saddle long enough to settle into the rhythm of Sassy’s gallop. Now she was riding, riding like she knew how, her legs strong and sure, her posture true. Giving Sassy full rein and encouraging the speed of her long, smooth stride, she caught up to Sage.

  Running alongside now, Sassy matched Blaze stride for stride as they galloped across the field. A surprised Sage looked over and kicked Blaze into full speed. Sassy responded automatically. Connie was actually beginning to enjoy the challenge now. Across the rest of the field they raced, making a wide turn at the far side, and then racing all the way back. Although she didn’t expect her to admit it, Connie suspected Sage was also starting to enjoy herself. Slowing to a trot, Sage led them through another clump of trees to another clearing made up of several hills and valleys.

  They stopped at the top of the first hill to let the horses rest. With her anger subsided, Connie’s curiosity got the best of her. She chanced a question that risked further insult. “When you said you’ve been with women like me, what kind of women were you referring to?”

  Sage looked at her as if she was either amazed at the question or at Connie. With a characteristic delay, she looked down at Blaze and straightened a braided section of mane. Connie wondered if Sage was deciding how to, or if she should, answer her question. Connie waited patiently while Sage gazed out over the view from the hill.

  Finally Sage began. “Women who appear to be so straight in every part of their lives, then secretly slide into bed with someone like me. They have to have the husband to keep the appearance of a normal life. They want financial security and no risk of losing the kids.” She hesitated, stroking Blaze again. “But they crave the emotional intimacy and good sex that only a woman can give them. So—” she finally looked at Connie with a cool, unemotional grin “—if you’re into beautiful women and flings, there are plenty of them out there. You just have to be careful not to do something stupid like fall in love with one of them.”

  She ignored the reference. “Like you did?”

  “No.” Her response was unusually quick, her eyes glazed with ice. “I let her keep me ... like a mistress.” Sage waited, frozen in an unexpected stare-down, for a reaction she never got. “You gonna ride or talk?”

  Connie suddenly broke the stare and nudged Sassy down the hill.

  They rode for a long time with no further discussion, climbing the hills, racing the valleys. Strange woman, Connie thought, glancing over at Sage. There was a coolness, a confidence about her that bordered on arrogance. Yet inexplicably, it wasn’t intimidating. It only made Connie look closer. And what she saw was something in her smile, when Sage did smile, that was a definite contradiction. She watched her as they rode back and wondered if she would ever really know her. More peculiar was her desire to, despite the way she was being treated.

  The sounds of the barn took up the silence. Brushes raked over the slick backs of the horses. The two women worked silently until Donna came hustling in. “Wow, you’re back in one piece and we didn’t even have to send out the posse.”

  “Were we gone too long?” Sage asked.

  “Long enough for us to decide to eat without you. I’ll finish up here,” offered Donna. “You two go get cleaned up.”

  Sage continued to brush Blaze. “No, I’ll stay and help you.”

  “Go ahead, Connie. I think Kasey’s getting a little worried.”

  “Thanks, Donna.” Walking by Sage on her way out, she said quietly, “For the record? You’re wrong about me.” The words probably meant nothing to Sage, but she felt better for having said them.

  During the rest of the day as the women interacted, Sharon and Sage kept an accommodating distance. Donna and Evonne, however, proved thoroughly delightful. They were warm and honest. They maintained a closeness full of smiles and friendly touches that made Connie feel liked right from the beginning. She found them to be kind, understanding women, and she felt welcome in their home and in their lives. It was that feeling of acceptance that made her understand how important these two women were to Kasey, and how important they now were to her.

  She entered the family room, where everyone had gathered, bringing drinks for Kasey and herself. “Ooh,” she groaned, bending to sit on the floor in front of Kasey. “With all the running we’ve been doing, I didn’t think I’d be this sore. But I’m already starting to feel it.”

  “It’s a whole set of muscles you didn’t know you had.” Evonne smiled.

  “No gymnastics tonight, my friend,” Donna winked at Kasey. “But after you’ve been together a while, you’ll get used to those laid-back nights when nothin’s happenin’.”

  Kasey only smiled and began massaging the muscles in Connie’s neck and shoulders.

  “It sounds like you think we do it all the time,” returned Connie with a smile.

  Kasey jumped in before Donna could respond. “No, it sounds like that’s what they used to do when they were first together.” When everyone laughed, the atmosphere took on a lighter, easier air. Teasing, it seemed, was acceptable, and that was fine with Connie.

  “Yeah, tell them about the time Evonne’s boss almost caught you,” suggested Sharon.

  “We laugh at it now,” Evonne began, “but it wasn’t so funny at the time. I was working late at the office, and Donna met me there with something to eat. My boss had left hours before. Well, one thing led to another ...” A red flush spread over her soft round face. Her maternal eyes twinkled with unexpected mischief. Everyone already had a picture in their minds and started laughing quietly in anticipation. Donna put her hand over her face as Evonne continued, “And we were on the floor, in the act, when I heard the outside door open. You never saw two women dress so fast in your life. I pushed Donna into the closet just as my boss opened the office door.” Even Sage was laughing aloud. “I still wonder what kind of expression I must have had on my face. He said something about me working so late and that he had forgotten something, and then he left. I don’t know what I would have done if what he had forgotten had been in that closet.” The women were lost in laughter, but Evonne wasn’t finished. “Wait, there’s more. When I opened the closet door, Donna burst into laughter so hard she couldn’t talk. Finally, she managed to drag me over to the mirror behind the door. I couldn’t believe my eyes. My hair was standing straight up, and my bra wasn’t fastened, so I was a lot lower than usual. Only one button on my blouse was buttoned, and it was in the wrong hole, and I was holding the closure to my pants together!” Connie was laughing so hard she was wiping tears from her eyes, and Evonne still wasn’t through. “But you know what was really funny? He never once mentioned it. I can’t imagine what he was thinking. He must have thought I was drunk.”

  The laughter eventually died to giggles, but only after it had loosened the tensions that had bound the earlier moments of the day so tightly around the women. It gave them all a common ground, something they shared and enjoyed together. More open now, unhindered by selfinduced barriers,
they began to share stories. They told of near misses and times when they’d been caught. Although none of the stories matched the comical extreme of Evonne’s, they were fun and even enlightening.

  Sage told about getting caught parking with a woman while she was in college. “We were going at it pretty heavily, all the windows were steamed opaque, when there was a tapping on the driver’s window. When I rolled it down, I was staring into an officer’s flashlight. ‘We were just talking’ was more a joke than an explanation. He warned us that he’d better never see us on that street again.” The women waited for the other shoe, and Sage obliged. “He did catch us again—doing the very same thing—the very next night.”

  The story proved to be as revealing as it was funny. It exposed a strong thread of defiance running boldly through Sage’s personality. Connie was quick to recognize it, storing it away for the future as a piece of the puzzle. Sage’s life, she suspected, embodied experiences far more extreme than that—episodes too revealing to share. For despite the rumors she inspired, everything about her seemed grossly understated.

  Kasey’s hands began their massage once again. Connie leaned forward, resting her arms on her knees, making it easier for Kasey to reach her back. “Mmm, that feels so good.”

  “Kasey gives the best back rubs I’ve ever had,” remarked Donna.

  “She’s got great hands,” Evonne said.

  Donna teased the top of Connie’s head on her way to the kitchen. “Like she doesn’t know that.”

  Evonne’s face flushed. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  “We know, we know,” Sharon laughed. “But she is good enough to charge for her services.”

  “Don’t tempt me,” warned Kasey. “I’ve done enough of them to be a rich woman.”

  “Sounds like I’m the only one here who hasn’t had one,” Sage said, sounding suspiciously innocent.

  “Yeah, well I think you got her deluxe treatment.” Sharon smirked, leaving no misgivings of innocence.

  Connie felt the hands suddenly stop against her back and turned her head in time to see a glare, sharp as a dagger, hurled at Sharon.

  The message pierced its mark. “I was only joking.”

  Kasey rose and walked over to Sage, but her chastisement remained directed at Sharon. “I don’t think anyone thought it was funny.” She reached down, tossed a smaIl pillow on the floor, and grasped Sage’s arm. No smile warmed the firm tone. “Your turn.”

  “I was just kidding too, Kasey.”

  “I’m not. Lie down.”

  Sage stood defiantly, face-to-face. Everyone watched silently. “You sound like one tough woman.”

  “Tough enough to put you on the floor if I wanted to embarrass you.”

  “Don’t mess with her, Sage,” Sharon warned.

  Quietly and seriously, Sage explained, “Look, I don’t want to cause a problem.”

  “You won’t.” Kasey couldn’t keep the faintest smile from her lips. “Just lie down.”

  The challenge past, Sage relented and settled on her stomach on the floor. Kasey knelt over her buttocks and placed strong hands on her shoulders. It was the first time Connie’d seen Kasey react so strongly. But knowing her stubbornness, it didn’t surprise her. She continued watching as Kasey reached down, pulled the shirt from Sage’s jeans, and with one hand swiftly unfastened her bra. A move she knew only too well.

  A surprised Sage raised her head and looked back at Kasey. “Maybe we should do this in private.”

  “Otherwise,” Kasey replied, pushing Sage’s head back down on the pillow, “you’ll end up with a bruise.”

  “I’m gonna throw the Frisbee for Cooper before it gets dark,” Sharon said.

  “Okay, but make sure you stay on the west side of the house,” warned Donna. “Our neighbor threatened to shoot any of the animals that get on his property.”

  “Too bad you can’t have that bastard arrested,” Sharon grumbled as she passed.

  “Just be careful,” Donna emphasized.

  “I will. Come on, Coop.”

  “That’s why we’re putting up a wood fence instead of the wire,” Evonne clarified. “A little privacy won’t hurt, either.”

  “We’ll rent the power auger Thursday,” Kasey said. “And I’ll get the extra bit in case we run into major roots in that one spot.”

  “Okay, then just show us how to set the posts, and Evonne and I can do the rest,” replied Donna.

  “You sure you don’t want help?”

  “No, you’re doing enough by digging the holes.”

  “You still with us, Sage?” Evonne gave a quick wink to Kasey.

  Sage only moaned softly, looking thoroughly content under Kasey’s skillful hands.

  Connie watched the beautiful hands she knew so well pressing into Sage’s faded blue shirt. She had never seen their movements before, only felt their effects. Strong and commanding, the tanned arms and hands with their prominent veins worked their magic. Such a strange feeling, she thought. Could it possibly be sensual without being sexual? She didn’t know how else to describe it. But now it was finally clear what Kasey was doing, why she had insisted so strongly. She needed to do this, in front of her friends, in front of her lover, to prove that physical contact could happen between them and not be sexual. A proof, Connie suspected, Sage wasn’t ready for. However, she’d bet Sage wouldn’t exchange places with anyone right now. The hands continued their work, covering the length and breadth of Sage’s shoulders and back several times.

  “I don’t know how you can do that so long, Kase. I try to give Evonne massages, and I get tired so fast,” Donna admitted.

  “I tell her she should do it more often,” laughed Evonne.

  “That’s right,” added Kasey. “It’ll build your endurance.” Her sly smile got the laugh she was looking for as she pressed against Sage’s back and rose from her position. “Okay, your complimentary session is over. The next one will cost you dearly.”

  Her eyes still closed, Sage’s response was little better than a murmur. “Next time, I’ll give you anything you want.” Kasey reached down and playfully slapped the back of her head.

  Returning to her seat, she draped her arms over Connie’s shoulders and wrapped her in a tight embrace. She nuzzled into her neck and whispered, “I love you, cowgirl.”

  “I know,” she said, snuggling in with a sweet smile.

  “Okay, girls,” announced Sharon, emerging from the kitchen, “I tired Coop out, so I guess it’s time to go home. Damn, Kasey, what did you do to Sage?” The realization that the body on the floor hadn’t moved an inch, made everyone laugh. “Sissy,” teased Sharon in a soft motherly tone. “Time to get up, sweetie.” Even Connie had to smile.

  “Mmm, turn out the light,” Sage mumbled sleepily.

  Still in a playful mood, Sharon leaned down and began tickling Sage’s sides. She jumped into consciousness immediately, squirming her way out of Sharon’s reach. Again the laughter was at her expense as she leaned up against Donna’s legs with a sheepish smile. “Dammit, Sharon.”

  “C’mon, you can go back to sleep when you get home. Just don’t think you’re gettin’ any massages from these hands.”

  Sage quickly fastened her bra and rose to her feet as Sharon hugged Evonne and Donna. They waved their good-byes to Kasey and Connie on their way out the door and headed for the car.

  “Could she really have put me on the floor?” Sage asked.

  Sharon smiled. “In a heartbeat.”

  Twenty-eight

  The spaghetti noodles were just right. Connie pulled the pan from the stove. “Kase, dinner’s about ready,” she announced, giving the sauce a quick stir and taste.

  Kasey called from the living room, “Let’s eat in here.”

  She switched the TV to their favorite news station and removed the laundry basket from the couch. With a pile of folded towels stacked to her chin, she started for the linen closet. They had chosen not to go to the cabin this weekend and to catch up on domestic chores ins
tead. She wanted to be available in case Donna called for help on the fence.

  All of a sudden, a familiar name on the TV captured Kasey’s attention. Walking back into the room, she was shocked by the recognition of the faces on the screen. “Both women were shot and killed this morning in their yard, allegedly by a neighbor,” the voice reported.

  “Nooo!” Kasey screamed. She stared at the screen—straight into the faces of Donna and Evonne.

  At the sound of the scream, Connie raced into the room.

  Kasey was sitting like a frightened, wounded animal on the coffee table. “What, Kasey? What is it?” Her focus followed Kasey’s eyes to the screen, where she tried to understand what was happening.

  The newscaster continued. “The women had lived together in a lesbian relationship for the past eleven years, which may have been a contributing factor in their murders. Evonne Koch, the older of the two women, is the mother of two adult children. At this time, police are questioning an elderly man living next to the women. We will have more on this story as the facts become known.”

  “Oh, God, no!” Connie exclaimed. “This can’t be happening.”

  “No, no,” Kasey repeated as she stood. “It’s not them.” She paced erratically around the room, running her hands nervously through her hair. “It’s not them,” she said, shaking her head.

  Connie reached for her arm, but Kasey pulled away.

  “No, no,” she said, moving away from Connie’s efforts, as if avoiding consolation would invalidate the news. “I’ve got to go,” she said, anxiously scanning the surface of the coffee table with her hands.

  Connie swiftly grabbed the keys from the end table. “Where Kasey, where? Where do you have to go?”

  Kasey covered her eyes with her hand and shook her head. Suddenly she bolted through the kitchen and out the back door. Connie began to follow, but stopped, catching the screen door on its way back. She watched Kasey’s aimless steps eventually take her to the back fence. Then, through her own tear-filled eyes, she watched Kasey painfully pound the boards with her hands, yelling no over and over again.